Sir Fret. Oh, so much the better.-Ha! ha! ha! I wouldn't have it otherwise. Dang. Certainly it is only to be laughed at; for Sneer. Pray, Dangle-Sir Fretful seems a little 430 anxious Sir Fret. O lud, no !-anxious!-not I,-not the Sneer. [Aside to Dangle.] I will.-[Aloud.] Yes, Sir Fret. Well, and pray now-not that it signifies -what might the gentleman say? Sneer. Why, he roundly asserts that you have not 440 the slightest invention or original genius what ever; though you are the greatest traducer of Sir Fret. Ha! ha! ha!-very good! Sneer. That as to comedy, you have not one idea of your own, he believes, even in your common- Sir Fret. Ha ha! ha!-very pleasant! Sir Fret. Ha! ha! 450 Sneer. In your more serious efforts, he says, your bombast would be less intolerable, if the 460 thoughts were ever suited to the expression; but the homeliness of the sentiment stares through the fantastic encumbrance of its fine language, like a clown in one of the new uniforms! Sir Fret. Ha! ha! Sneer. That your occasional tropes and flowers suit the general coarseness of your style, as tambour sprigs would a ground of linseywoolsey; while your imitations of Shakespeare 470 resemble the mimicry of Falstaff's page, and are about as near the standard of the original. Sir Fret. Ha! Sneer. In short, that even the finest passages you steal are of no service to you; for the poverty Sir Fret. [After great agitation.] Now, another 480 person would be vexed at this. Sneer. Oh! but I wouldn't have told you-only to divert you. Sir Fret. I know it-I am diverted.-Ha! ha! Sneer. Yes-no genius! ha! ha! ha! But you are quite right, Sir Fretful, never to read such nonsense. Sir Fret. To be sure-for if there is any thing to one's praise, it is a foolish vanity to be gratified at it; and, if it is abuse,-why one is always sure to hear of it from one damned goodnatured friend or another!' Enter Servant. Ser. Sir, there is an Italian gentleman, with a 490 a dozen musicians, who say they are sent by Dang. Gadso! they come by appointment!-Dear 500 Mrs Dangle, do let them know I'll see them directly. Mrs Dang. You know, Mr Dangle, I shan't understand a word they say. Dang. But you hear there's an interpreter. Mrs Dang. Well, I'll try to endure their complais ance till you come. [Exit. Ser. And Mr Puff, sir, has sent word that the last Dang. True, I had forgot that. But I hope you are not fretted at what Mr Sneer 510 Sir Fret. Zounds! no, Mr Dangle; don't I tell 520 you these things never fret me in the least? Dang. Nay, I only thought Sir Fret. And let me tell you, Mr Dangle, 'tis damned affronting in you to suppose that I am hurt when I tell you I am not. Sneer. But why so warm, Sir Fretful? Sir Fret. Gad's life! Mr Sneer, you are as absurd as Dangle: how often must I repeat it to you, that nothing can vex me but your supposing it possible for me to mind the damned nonsense 530 you have been repeating to me !—and, let me tell you, if you continue to believe this, you must mean to insult me, gentlemen—and, then, your disrespect will affect me no more than the newspaper criticisms—and I shall treat it with exactly the same calm indifference and philosophic contempt and so your servant. [Exit. Sneer. Ha! ha! ha! poor Sir Fretful! Now will he go and vent his philosophy in anonymous abuse of all modern critics and authors.-But, 540 Dangle, you must get your friend Puff to take me to the rehearsal of his tragedy. Dang. I'll answer for 't, he 'll thank you for desiring it. But come and help me to judge of this musical family they are recommended by people of consequence, I assure you. Sneer. I am at your disposal the whole morning :— |