and embryo promotions of modest gentlemen,
who know nothing of the matter themselves.
It can hint a ribbon for implied services in the
air of a common report; and with the careless-
ness of a casual paragraph, suggest officers into
commands, to which they have no pretension
but their wishes. This, sir, is the last prin- 350
cipal class of the art of puffing-an art which I
hope you will now agree with me is of the
highest dignity, yielding a tablature of benevo-
lence and public spirit; befriending equally
trade, gallantry, criticism, and politics: the
applause of genius-the register of charity—
the triumph of heroism-the self-defence of
contractors-the fame of orators—and the
gazette of ministers.

Sneer. Sir, I am completely a convert both to the 360
importance and ingenuity of your profession;
and now, sir, there is but one thing which
can possibly increase my respect for you, and
that is, your permitting me to be present
this morning at the rehearsal of your new
trage-

Puff. Hush, for heaven's sake!-My tragedy!-
Egad, Dangle, I take this very ill: you know

how apprehensive I am of being known to be
the author.

Dang. I' faith I would not have told-but it's
in the papers, and your name at length in the
"Morning Chronicle."

Puff. Ah! those damned editors never can keep a

secret!--Well, Mr Sneer, no doubt you will

do me great honour-I shall be infinitely happy
-highly flattered

Dang. I believe it must be near the time-shall we

go together?

370

Puff. No; it will not be yet this hour, for they are 380 always late at that theatre: besides, I must

meet you there, for I have some little matters
here to send to the papers, and a few para-
graphs to scribble before I go.-[Looking at
memorandums.] Here is A conscientious Baker,
on the subject of the Army Bread; and A
Detester of visible Brickwork, in favour of the
new-invented Stucco; both in the style of
Junius, and promised for to-morrow. The
Thames navigation too is at a stand. Misomud 390
or Anti-shoal must go to work again directly.
-Here too are some political memorandums—
I see; ay-To take Paul Jones, and get the

Indiamen out of the Shannon-reinforce Byron

compel the Dutch to so!I must do that in the evening papers, or reserve it for the "Morning Herald; " for I know that I have undertaken to-morrow, besides, to establish the unanimity of the fleet in the "Public Advertiser," and to shoot Charles Fox in the "Morning 400 Post." So, egad, I ha'n't a moment to lose! Dang. Well, we'll meet in the Green Room.

Act Second.

Scene L

[Exeunt severally.

The Theatre, before the Curtain.

Enter Dangle, Puff, and Sneer.

Puff. No, no, sir; what Shakespeare says of actors may be better applied to the purpose of plays; they ought to be the abstract and brief chronicles of the time. Therefore when history, and particularly the history of our own country, furnishes any thing like a case in point, to the time in which an author writes, if he knows his own interest, he will take advantage of it;

so, sir, I call my tragedy The Spanish Armada, and have laid the scene before Tilbury Fort. Sneer. A most happy thought, certainly! Dang. Egad it was-I told you so. But pray now, I don't understand how you have contrived to introduce any love into it.

IO

Puff. Love! oh, nothing so easy! for it is a received point among poets, that where history gives you a good heroic outline for a play, you may fill up with a little love at your own discretion: in doing which, nine times out of ten, you only make up a deficiency in the private history of 20 the times. Now I rather think I have done this with some success.

Sneer. No scandal about Queen Elizabeth, I hope? Puff. O lud! no, no;-I only suppose the governor of Tilbury Fort's daughter to be in love with the son of the Spanish admiral.

Sneer. Oh, is that all!

Dang. Excellent, i' faith! I see at once. But won't this appear rather improbable ?

Puff. To be sure it will-but what the plague! a

play is not to show occurrences that happen
every day, but things just so strange, that
though they never did, they might happen.

30

Sneer. Certainly nothing is unnatural, that is not

physically impossible.

Puff. Very true—and for that matter Don Ferolo
Whiskerandos, for that's the lover's name,

might have been over here in the train of the
Spanish Ambassador; or Tilburina, for that is
the lady's name, might have been in love with 40
him, from having heard his character, or seen
his picture; or from knowing that he was the
last man in the world she ought to be in love
with-or for any other good female reason.—
However, sir, the fact is, that though she is
but a knight's daughter, egad! she is in love
like any princess!

Dang. Poor young lady! I feel for her already!

for I can conceive how great the conflict must
be between her passion and her duty; her 50
love for her country, and her love for Don
Ferolo Whiskerandos!

Puff. Oh, amazing!-her poor susceptible heart
is swayed to and fro by contending passions
like-

Enter Under Prompter.

Und. Promp. Sir, the scene is set, and every thing is ready to begin, if you please.