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'Sir W. You also know'
Dan. Mr. Puff, as he knows all this, why does Sir Walter go on telling him?
Puff. But the audience are not supposed to know any thing of the matter, are they?
Sneer. True, but I think you manage ill: for there certainly appears no reason why Sir Walter should be so communicative.
Puff. Foregad, now, that is one of the most ungrateful observations I ever heard; for the less inducement he has to tell all this, the more I think you ought to be obliged to him; for I am sure you'd know nothing of the matter without it.
Dan. That's very true, upon my word.
Puff. But you will find he was not going on.
Sir C. Enough, enough-'tis plain-and I no more 'Am in amazement lost!'
Puff. Here, now, you see, Sir Christopher did not, in fact, ask any one question for his own information.
Sneer. No, indeed: his has been a most disinterested curiosity!
Dan. Really, I find, we are very much obliged to them both.
Puff. To be sure you are. Now, then, for the Commander-in-Chief, the Earl of Leicester! who, you know, was no favourite but of the Queen's. We left off in amazement lost!'
Sir C. Am in amazement lost.
• But see where noble Leicester comes! supreme
In honours and command.'
Sneer. But who are these with him?.
Puff. Oh! very valiant knights; one is the governor of the fort, the other the master of the horse. And now, I think you shall hear some better language: I was obliged to be plain and intelligible in the first scene, because there was so much matter of fact in it; but now, 'ifaith, you have trope, figure, and metaphor, as plenty as nounsubstantives.
Enter EARL OF LEICESTER, GOVERNOR, and Master of the HORSE, R.
'Lei. How's this, my friends! is't thus your new-fledged
'And pluméd valour moulds in roosted sloth?
No! rather let the fountain of your valour 'Spring through each stream of enterprise, Each petty channel of conducive daring, 'Till the full torrent of your foaming wrath 'O'erwhelm the flats of sunk hostility!'
Puff. [Runs up and embraces him.] Allow me to introduce Mr. Horrebow to you-Mr. Dangle and Mr. Sneer. [Returns to L.
Sir W. No more! the freshening breath of thy rebuke
'Hath filled the swelling canvass of our souls! 'And thus, though fate should cut the cable of
[All take hands. Our topmost hopes, in friendship's closing line, 'We'll grapple with despair, and if we fall, 'We'll fall in Glory's wake!
[They part hands. Lei. [Slowly.] There spoke Old England's genius!' Puff. No, no, sir: Old England's genius never spoke in that way. She must be a devilish queer genius if she did. No, sir, keep it up. [Quotes with heroic bombast.] There spoke Old England's genius!'
Lei. [With Puff's manner.] There spoke Old England's genius!
'Then, are we all resolved?
'All. We are-all resolved. Lei. To conquer-or be free. 'All. To conquer-or be free. 'Lei. All?
• All. All!'
Dan. Nem. con., egad!
Puff. Oh, yes, where they do agree on the stage, their unanimity is wonderful.
Lei. Then, let's embrace-[They embrace,] and now'
Sneer. What the plague, is he going to pray?
Puff. Yes, hush! In great emergencies, there is nothing like a prayer!
'Lei. Oh, mighty Mars!'
Puff. Stop, my dear sir! You do not expect to find Mars there. No, sir: whenever you address the gods, always look into the upper gallery.
Lei. [Looking up to the gallery.] Oh, mighty Mars!' Dan. But why should he pray to Mars?
Lei. Oh, mighty Mars, if, in thy homage bred,
Each point of discipline I've still observed;
'Nor but by due promotion, and the right
'Of service, to the rank of Major-General
Have risen ;'
Puff. Keep up the Major-General! [Repeats the line with force.] To the rank of Major-General have risen!' Tip them the Major-General, pray.
Lei. [After Puff's manner.] To the rank of Major-
'Have risen; assist thy votary now!
Gov. [Kneels on Leicester's R.] Yet do not rise-hear me!
· Mast. of H. |Kneels on Governor's R.] And me! 'Sir W. [Kneels on Leicester's R.] And me!
'Sir C. [Kneels on Sir W.'s L.] And me!'
Puff. [Kneels, L.] And me! Now, mind your hits ;— pray all together.
All. Behold thy votaries submissive beg,
'That thou wilt deign to grant them all they ask ;'— Puff. No, no, gentlemen, the emphasis is upon the
word all. Thus :
Behold thy votaries submissive beg,
That thou wilt deign to grant them all they ask!'
'All. Behold thy votaries submissive beg,
'That thou wilt deign to grant them all they ask ;
Assist them to accomplish all their ends,
And sanctify whatever means they use
'To gain them!'
Sneer. A very orthodox quintetto!
Puff. Vastly well, gentlemen, indeed, for persons who are not much in the habit of praying. Is that well man
aged or not? I believe you haven't such a prayer as that on the stage.
Sneer. Not exactly.
Lei. [To Puff] But, sir, you haven't settled how we are to get off here.
Puff. You could not go off kneeling, could you?
Puff. It would have a good effect, 'ifaith, if you could "exeunt praying!" Yes, and would vary the established mode of springing off with a glance at the pit.
Sneer. Oh, never mind: so as you get them off, I'll answer for it, the audience won't care how.
Puff. Well, then, repeat the last line standing, and go off the old way.
'All. And sanctify whatever means we use to gain
Dan. Bravo! a fine exit.
Sneer. Stay a moment.
The SENTINELS get up.
1st. Sen. All this shall to Lord Burleigh's ear. '2d. Sen. 'Tis meet it should.'
[Exeunt Sentinels, R. Dan. Hey!-why, I thought those fellows had been asleep?
Puff. Only a pretence; there's the art of it; they were spies of Lord Burleigh's. But take care, my dear Dangle, the morning gun is going to fire.
Dan. Well, that will have a fine effect.
Puff. I think so, and helps to realize the scene. [Cannon, three times from battery, L.] What the plague!— three morning guns!—there never is but one! Aye, this is always the way at the theatre-give these fellows a good thing, and they never know when to have done with
You have no more cannon to fire?
Promp. [From within, L.] No, sir.
Puff. Now, then, for soft music.
Sneer. Pray what's that for?
Puff. It shows that Tilburina is coming; nothing intro
duces you a heroine like soft music.
Dan. And her confidant, I suppose?
Here she comes.
Puff. To be sure: here they are-inconsolable—to the minuet in Ariadne ! [Soft music in Orchestra.
Enter TILBURINA and CONFIDant, r.
Til. Now flowers unfold their beauties to the sun, And, blushing, kiss the beam he sends to wake them. The striped carnation, and the guarded rose, The vulgar wall-flower, and smart gilly-flower, The polyanthus mean-the dapper daisy, 'Sweet William, and sweet marjorum-and all 'The tribe of single and of double pinks!
'Now, too, the feathered warblers tune their notes
'Around, and charm the listening grove-The lark!
The linnet! chaffinch! bullfinch! goldfinch! greenfinch!
'--But, oh! to me no joy can they afford!
Puff. [Holding his handkerchief to his eyes.] Your white handkerchief, madam-there, if you please.
Til. I thought, sir, I wasn't to use that 'till heartrending woe.'
Puff. Oh, yes, madam-at 'the finches of the grove,' if you please,
Til. -Nor lark,
'Linnet, nor all the finches of the grove!'
Puff. Vastly well, madam!
Dan. Vastly well, indeed!
Til. For, oh, too sure, heart-rending woe is now
'The lot of wretched Tilburina!'
Dan. Oh! 'tis too much.
Sneer. Oh!-it is, indeed.
Con. (R.) Be comforted, sweet lady-for who knows,
But Heaven has yet some milk-white day in store.
'Tit. Alas, my youthful-gentle Nora,
Thy tender youth as yet hath never mourned 'Love's fatal dart.
'Con. But see where your stern father comes; 'It is not meet that he should find you thus.'
Puff. Hey, what the plague! what a cut is here!— why, what is become of the description of her first meeting with Don Whiskerandos? his gallant behaviour in the sea-fight, and the simile of the canary bird?