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Enter BURLEIGH, L. S. E., goes slowly to the chair and sits.

Sneer. Mr. Puff!

Puff. Hush! vastly well, sir! vastly well! a most interesting gravity!

Dan. What, isn't he to speak at all?

Puff. Egad, I thought you'd ask me that. Yes, it is a very likely thing, that a minister in his situation, with the whole affairs of the nation on his head, should have time to talk! But hush! or you'll put him out.

Sneer. Put him out! how the plague can that be, if he's not going to say anything?

Puff. There's a reason! Why, his part is to think: and how the plague do you imagine he can think, if you keep talking?

Dan. That's very true, upon my word!

[Burleigh comes forward, c., shakes his head. Puff. Shake your head more-more-damn it, man, shake your head as if there was something in it.

[Burleigh shakes his head extravagantly, and exit, R. Sneer. He is very perfect, indeed. Now, pray what did he mean by that?

Puff. You don't take it?

Sneer. No, I don't, upon my soul.

Puff. Why, by that shake of the head, he gave you to understand, that even though they had more justice in their cause, and wisdom in their measures, yet, if there was not a greater spirit shown on the part of the people, the country would at last fall a sacrifice to the hostile ambition of the Spanish monarchy.

Sneer. The devil!—Did he mean all that by shaking his head?

Puff. Every word of it-if he shook his head as I taught him.

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Sneer. Oh, here are some of our old acquaintance.

Enter HATTON and RALEIGH, R.

'Sir C. My niece, and your niece, too!

By Heaven! there's witchcraft in't. He could not else 'Have gained their hearts. But see where they approach; 'Some horrid purpose lowering on their brows!

'Sir W. Let us withdraw, and mark them.

[They retire up.

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Revenge is all the good I've left.

[Aside.

[Aside.

2d Nie. (R.) He comes, the false disturber of my quiet. 'Now, vengeance, do thy work!'

Enter WHISKERANDOS, L. S. E.

Whis. Oh, hateful liberty-if thus in vain

'I seek my Tilburina !

'Both Ñei. And ever shalt! [Sir Christopher and Sir Walter come forward, R. and L.

'Sir C. & Sir W. Hold! we will avenge you. Whis. Hold you-or see your nieces bleed.' [The two Nieces draw their two daggers to strike Whiskerandos; the two Uncles, at the instant, with their two swords drawn, catch their two Nieces' arms, and turn the points of their swords to Whiskerandos, who immediately draws two daggers, and holds them to the two Nieces' bosoms.

Puff. There's situation for you! there's an heroic group! You see, the ladies can't stab Whiskerandos— he durst not strike them for fear of their uncles-the uncles durst not kill him because of their nieces.

I have them all at a dead lock! for every one of them is afraid to let go

first.

Sneer. Why, then, they must stand there for ever. Puff. So they would, if I hadn't a very fine contrivance for't. Now, mind-Beef!

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Enter BEEFEATER, with his halberd, R.

Beef. In the Queen's name, I charge you all to drop Your swords and daggers!'

[They drop their swords and daggers.

Sneer. That is a contrivance, indeed.

Puff. Aye-in the Queen's name.

'Sir C. Come, niece!

'Sir W. Come, niece!

[Exeunt with the two Nieces, R. and L.

Whis. (L.) What's he, who bids us thus renounce our guard?

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'Beef. (R.) Thou must do more! renounce thy love!

Whis. Thou liest, base Beefeater!

Beef. Ha! Hell! the lie!

'By Heaven, thou'st roused the lion in my heart!

Off, yeoman's habit! base disguise! off! off!

[Discovers himself, by throwing off his upper dress, and appearing in a very fine shape dress.

'Am I a Beefeater now?

'Or beams my crest as terrible as when

'In Biscay's Bay I took thy captive sloop?

Whis. I thank thee, fortune! that hast thus bestowed 'A weapon to chastise this insolent.

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[Takes up one of the swords.

Beef. I take thy challenge, Spaniard, and I thank Thee, fortune, too!

6

[Takes up the other sword.

Whis. Vengeance and Tilburina!

Beef. Exactly so! [They fight, and, after the usual number of wounds given, Whiskerandos falls.

'Whis. Oh, curséd parry y! The last thrust in tierce 'Was fatal! Captain, thou hast fencéd well!

'And Whiskerandos quits this bustling scene

For all eter-

Beef. -nity, he would have added, but stern death'Puff. Oh, my dear sir, you are too slow: now mind Sir, shall I trouble you to die again!

me.

Whis. Certainly, sir! And Whiskerandos quits this bustling scene

'For all eter

[Rolls himself up in the carpet. ‘Beef. —nity, he would have added

Puff. No, sir, that's not it: once more, if you please, and I'll kill you myself.

Whis. [Unrolling himself.] I wish, sir, you would practice this without me: I can't stay dying here all night.

[Exit, L.

Puff. Very well, we'll go over it by and by. I must humour these gentlemen!

'Beef. Farewell, brave Spaniard ! and when next'Puff. Dear sir, you needn't speak that speech, as the body has walked off.

Beef. That's true, sir; then I'll join the fleet.

Puff. If you please. [Exit Beefeater.] Now, enter Til

burina!

Sneer. Egad, the business comes on quick here.
Puff. Yes, sir: now she comes in stark mad, in white

satin.

Sneer. Why in white satin?

Puff. Oh, Lord, sir, when a heroine goes mad, she always goes into white satin-don't she, Dangle? Dan. Always-it's a rule.

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Puff. Yes, here it is. [Looking at the book.] Enter Tilburina, stark mad, in white satin, and her Confidant, stark mad, in white linen.'

Enter TILBURINA and CONFIDANT, R., mad, according to

custom.

Sneer. But what the deuce! is the Confidant to be mad, too?

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Puff. To be sure she is: the Confidant is always to do whatever her mistress does; weep when she weeps, smile when she smiles, go mad when she goes mad. Now, madam Confidant—but keep your madness in the background, if you please.

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Til. The wind whistles-the moon rises-[Screams,]

see,

They have killed my squirrel in his cage !—

Is this a grasshopper?-Ha! no, it is my

Whiskerandos. You shall not keep him—

[Kneels.

'I know you have him in your breeches pocket-'An oyster may be crossed in love!-Who says 'A whale's a bird?-Ha! did you call, my love?— 'He's here!—He's there!—He's every where !— 'Ah me! he's no where!' [Exit Tilburina, R.—The Confidant imitates Tilburina, and exit, R.

Puff. There! do you ever desire to see any body madder than that?

Sneer. Never, while I live! And, pray, what becomes of her?

Puff. She is gone to throw herself into the sea, to be sure-and that brings us at once to the scene of action, and so to my catastrophe-my sea-fight, I mean.

Sneer. What, you bring that in at last?

Puff. Yes, yes; you know my play is called the Spanish Armada, otherwise, egad, I have no occasion for the

battle at all. Now, then, for my magnificence! my battle! my noise! and my procession! You are all ready? Promp. [Within, L.] Yes, sir.

Puff. Very well. Now, then, change the scene, and then for our grand display.

The scene changes to a view of the Spanish Armada, in close action with the British fleet. Music plays "Britons strike home." Spanish fleet destroyed by fire-ships &c. English fleet advances-Music plays "Rule Britannia." During this scene, Puff directs and applauds everything: then,]

Well, pretty well-but not quite perfect; so, ladies and gentlemen, if you please, we'll rehearse this piece_again on the first opportunity. [Curtain drops.

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