I stay I'm undone. I must make one bold effort, and leave her. [To her. Your partiality in my favor, my dear, touches me most sensibly; and were I to live for myself alone, I could easily fix my choice. But to be plain with you, the difference of our birth, fortune, and education, make an honorable connection impossible; and I can never harbor a thought of seducing simplicity, that trusted in my honor, or bringing ruin upon one whose only fault was being too lovely. [Exit, R.

Miss H. Generous man! I never knew half his merit till now. He shall not go, if I have power or art to detain him. I'll still preserve the character in which I stooped to conquer, but will undeceive my papa, who, perhaps, may laugh him out of his resolution. [Exit, L.

Enter TONY and MISS NEVille, r.

Tony. Ay, you may steal for yourselves the next time : I have done my duty. She has got the jewels again, that's a sure thing; but she believes it was all a mistake of the servants.

Miss N. But, my dear cousin, sure you won't forsake us in this distress. If she in the least suspects that I am going off, I shall certainly be locked up, or sent to my aunt Pedigree's, which is ten times worse.

Tony. To be sure, aunts of all kinds are damned bad things. But what can I do? I have got you a pair of horses that will fly like whistlejacket, and I'm sure you can't say but I've courted you nicely before her face. Here she comes; we must court a little more, for fear she should suspect us.

[They retire up and seem to fondle.

Enter MRS. HARDCASTLE, R.

Mrs. H. Well, I was greatly fluttered, to be sure. But my son tells me it was all a mistake of the servants. I shan't be easy, however, till they are fairly married, and then let her keep her own fortune. But what do I see? Fondling together, as I'm alive! I never saw Tony so sprightly before. Ah! have I caught you, my pretty doves! What, billing, exchanging stolen glances, and broken murmurs, ah!

Tony. As for murmurs, mother, we grumble a little now

and then, to be sure. But there's no love lost between

us.

Mrs. H. A mere sprinkling, Tony, upon the flame, only to make it burn brighter.

Miss N. Cousin Tony promises to give us more of his company at home. Indeed he shan't leave us any more.

It won't leave us, cousin Tony, will it?

Tony. Oh, it's a pretty creature. No, I'd sooner leave my horse in a pound, than leave you when you smile upon one so. Your laugh makes you so becoming.

Miss N. Agreeable cousin! who can help admiring that natural humor, that pleasant, broad, red, thoughtless[Patting his cheek.]-ah, it's a bold face.

Mrs. H. Pretty innocence!

Tony. I'm sure I always loved cousin Con's hazle eyes, and her pretty long fingers, that she twists this way and that, over the haspicholls, like a parcel of bobbins.

Mrs. H. Ah, he would charm the bird from the tree. I never was so happy before. My boy takes after his father, poor Mr. Lumpkin, exactly. The jewels, my dear Con, shall be yours incontinently. You shall have them. Isn't he a sweet boy, my dear? You shall be married tomorrow, and we'll put off the rest of his education, like Dr. Drowsey's sermons, till a fitter opportunity.

Enter DIGGORY, L.

Dig. Where's the Squire? I have got a letter for your worship.

Tony. Give it to my mamma.

first.

She reads all my letters

Dig. I had orders to deliver it into your own hands.
Tony. Who does it come from?

Dig. Your worship mun ask that of the letter itself.

Tony. I could wish to know, though.

[Exit, L.

[Turning the letter and gazing on it. Miss N. [Aside.] Undone, undone! A letter to him from Hastings I know the hand. If my aunt sees it, we are ruined forever. I'll keep her employed a little if I can. [To Mrs. Hardcastle.] But I have not told you, madam, of my cousin's smart answer just now to Mr.

Marlow. We so laughed.-You must know, madamthis way a little, for he must not hear us. [They confer.

Tony. [Still gazing.] A damned cramp piece of penmanship as ever I saw in my life. I can read your printhand very well. But here there are such handles, and shanks, and dashes, that one can scarce tell the head from the tail. "To Anthony Lumpkin, Esquire." It's very odd, I can read the outside of my letters, where my own name is, well enough. But when I come to open it, it's all-buzz. That's hard, very hard; for the inside of the letter is always the cream of the correspondence.

Mrs. H. Ha! ha! ha! Very well, very well. And so my son was too hard for the philosopher?

Miss N. Yes, madam; but you must hear the rest, madam. A little more this way, or he may hear us. You'll hear how he puzzled him again.

Mrs. H. He seems strangely puzzled now himself, methinks.

Tony. [Still gazing.] A damned up-and-down hand, as if it was disguised in liquor. [Reading.] "Dear Sir." Ay, that's that. Then there's an M, and a T, and an S, but whether the next be an izzard or an R, confound me, I cannot tell.

Mrs. H. What's that, my dear? Can I give you any

assistance?

Miss N. Pray, aunt, let me read it. Nobody reads a cramp hand better than I. [Twitching the letter from him.] Do you know who it is from?

Tony. Can't tell, except from Dick Ginger, the feeder. Miss N. Ay, so it is. [Pretending to read.] "Dear Squire. Hoping that you're in health, as I am at this present. The gentlemen of the Shake-bag club has cut the gentlemen of the Goose-green quite out of feather. The odds-um-odd battle-um-long fighting-um"-Here, here, it's all about cocks and fightings; it's of no consequence-here, put it up, put it up. [Thrusting the crumpled letter upon him.

Tony. But I tell you, miss, it's of all the consequence in the world. I would not lose the rest of it for a guinea. Here, mother, do you make it out. Of no consequence! [Giving Mrs. Hardcastle the letter. Mrs. H. How's this! [Reads.] "Dear Squire, I am now waiting for Miss Neville, with a post-chaise and pair, at

the bottom of the garden, but I find my horses yet unable to perform the journey. I expect you'll assist us with a pair of fresh horses, as you promised. Dispatch is necessary, as the hag (ay, the hag,) your mother will otherwise suspect us. Yours, HASTINGS."

Grant me patience! I shall run distracted! My rage

chokes me !

Miss N. I hope, madam, you'll suspend your resentment for a few moments, and not impute to me any impertinence or sinister design that belongs to another.

Mrs. H. [Courtesying very low.] Fine spoken madam, you are most miraculously polite and engaging, and quite the very pink of courtesy and circumspection, madam! [Changing her tone.] And you, you great ill-fashioned oaf, with scarce sense enough to keep your mouth shut-were you, too, joined against me? But I'll defeat all your plots in a moment. As for you, madam, since you have got a pair of fresh horses ready, it would be cruel to disappoint them. So, if you please, instead of running away with your spark, prepare, this very moment, to run off with Your old aunt Pedigree will keep you secure, I'll warrant me. You, too, sir, may mount your horse, and guard us upon the way. Here, Thomas, Roger, Diggory! I'll show you that I wish better than you do your[Exit, R.

me.

selves.

you

Miss N. So now I'm completely ruined.
Tony. Ay, that's a sure thing.

Miss N. What better could be expected from being connected with such a stupid fool, and after all the nods and signs I made him!

Tony. By the laws, miss, it was your own cleverness, and not my stupidity, that did your business. You were so nice and so busy with your Shake-bags, and Goosegreens, that I thought you could never be making believe.

Enter HASTINGS, L.

Hast. So, sir, I find by my servant, that you have shown my letter, and betrayed us. Was this well done, young gentleman ?

Tony. Here's another. Ask miss there who betrayed you. Ecod, it was her doing, not mine.

Enter MARLOw, r.

Mar. So, I have been finely used here among you. Rendered contemptible, driven into ill-manners, despised, insulted, laughed at.

Tony. Here's another. We shall have old Bedlam broke loose presently.

Miss N. And there, sir, is the gentleman to whom we all owe every obligation.

Mar. What can I say to him, a mere booby, an idiot, whose ignorance and age are a protection.

Hast. A poor, contemptible booby, that would but disgrace correction.

Miss N. Yet with cunning and malice enough to make himself merry with all our embarrassments.

Hast. An insensible cub!

Mar. Replete with tricks and mischief.

Tony. Baw! dam'me, but I'll fight you both, one after the other-with baskets.

Mar. As for him, he's below resentment. But your conduct, Mr. Hastings, requires an explanation. You knew of my mistakes, yet would not undeceive me.

Hast. Tortured as I am with my own disappointments, is this a time for explanations? It is not friendly, Mr. Marlow.

Mar. But, sir—

Miss N. Mr. Marlow, we never kept on your mistake, till it was too late to undeceive you. Be pacified.

Enter DIGGORY, L.

Dig. My mistress desires you'll get ready immediately, madam. The horses are putting to. Your hat and things are in the next room. We are to go thirty miles before morning. [Exit, L.

Miss N. Well, well, I'll come presently. Oh, Mr. Marlow, if you knew what a scene of constraint and illnature lies before me, I'm sure it would convert your resentment into pity.

Mar. I'm so distracted with a variety of passions, that I don't know what I do. Forgive me, madam. George, forgive me. You know my hasty temper, and should not exasperate it.