CAST OF CHARACTERS. Mr. Box (a retired Printer). An Anonymous Gent (in the Street). COSTUMES. .Mr. Davidge. "Whiting. "Lewis. Mrs. Vernon. .Mrs. Sefton. .Mrs. Herman. BOX. First dress: Dressing gown, and night cap.-Second dress: Plaid trowsers, light waistcoat, dark frock coat. COX. Dark trowsers, light waistcoat, drab paletôt, drab felt hat. After the fight change to another suit similar to the above, very much torn and soiled. MRS. BOX. Pink spotted muslin dress. MRS. COX. Light muslin dress, with many flounces. MRS. BOUNCER. Colored cotton gown, apron, and cap. STAGE DIRECTIONS. R. means Right; L. Left; R. D. Right Door; L. D. Left Door; RELATIVE POSITIONS. S.E. Second Entrance; U. E. Upper Entrance; M. D. Middle Door. First Performed at the Theatre Royal, Haymarket, on Saturday' Time in Performance, Forty Minutes. BOX AND COX MARRIED AND SETTLED! SCENE-A well-furnished Sitting Room in MRS. BOUNCER'S House; door, 2 E. L., to Box's chamber; general entrance door, 3 E. L.; door, 2 E. R., to Cox's chamber; fireplace and chimney glass, 3 E. R.; two practicable windows, looking on street, R. and L. c. flat; a table with cloth, cups and saucers, &c., laid for breakfast; a side table between the doors on L. Cox is heard in R. chamber, calling loudly, "Mrs. Bouncer! Mrs. Bouncer !" Enter Cox, 3 E. L.-he is without his coat, and is partly shaved; he has a looking glass in one hand, and razor in the other. Cox. No bell in the room, and nobody to answer my energetic vociferations! (calls) Mrs. Bouncer!(sees a bell on table) Hah! here's a bell. (rings, and calls loudly) Mrs. Bouncer! (till MRS. BOUNCER enters, 3 E L.) Mrs. Boun. Bless me, Mr. Cox, what is the matter? Cox. Matter, Mrs. Bouncer! Look here, ma'am, and tell me how you expect me to perform the delicate operation of shaving in a glass, whose reflective powers are distorted to such a degree, that I can't be certain whether I'm scraping my chin or cutting off my nose. Mrs. Boun. Dear me! I'm really very sorry-I'll see if I can find you a better one, sir. r Takes glass and exit hastily, 3 E. L. Cox. Do so, Mrs. Bouncer-(retiring towards room, R. R.)— by the bye, Mrs. B.-(perceives that she is gone—rings the bell violently, and calls) Mrs. Bouncer, Mrs. Bouncer! Mrs. Boun. (re-entering) What is it, sir? Cox. I merely wished to ask you if the cabman has brought back my umbrella that I forgot in his cab last night—a brown gingham umbrella-with brass spike, and two broken ribs Mrs. Boun. No, sir, I have heard nothing about it. Exit, L. 3 E. Cox. Well, that is rather extraordinary. Ah! By-the-bye, here's a glass here that I can finish my shaving by. (goes to chimney glass, and is shaving when Box enters at door, 2 E. L.-he appears as if risen hastily from bed, and wears a dressing gown, slippers, and night cap. Box. (L.) What ringing and hollowing is this? Do you know, sir, that you have disturbed me out of my first sleep? (Cox starts and appears as if he had cut himself with razor) Cox. If it was your last sleep, sir, I should have done just the same- -It's nine o'clock, and I've been out of bed these four hours. Box. Sir, I believe you capable of any absurdity. Cox. Then, sir, it's my unbiassed opinion(turns and recognizes Box) Good gracious, Box! Box. Heavenly powers! Cox! Cox. My valued friend! Box. My worthy chum(together) Cox. Don't it strike you, Box, as rather remarkable that we should meet here accidentally, as I may say, in our old lodgings after two years' separation. Box. Well, so it does. Are you still implicated in the hat manufacture, Cox? Cox. Without meaning any disrespect to you, Box-I say, advisedly damn the hat manufacture. business. I've retired from Box. Indeed; how very odd that I should also have seceded from the printing profession. Cox. Listen, Box. When, by a concatenation of small debts, duly recorded in the archives of the Islington County Court, I was compelled to emigrate surreptitiously from Mrs. Bouncer's apartments to the Old Kent Road, you can't imagine my distress. Box. (L. c.) Yes, I can, by my own. Cox. (R. c.) I tried to forget everything in the world. Box. Especially your share of the rent, which I had to pay Mrs. Bouncer. Cox. Generous Box! don't mention it. (shakes Box's hand) Well, soon after, I was surprised, and I may add delighted, by the death of an old uncle, who left me a comfortable annuity. Box. How singular that my aunt of venerable memory should have died about the same time, and left me a pretty little property. Cox. I congratulate you, my dear fellow. luck. {(together) Cox. Well, my next step was to get married; Box. Ha ha ha! ha! Do you know I've been guilty of the same indiscretion myself? Cox. I was connubialised this day, twelve months. Box. The very day that witnessed the loss of my liberty. Cox. But that's not all,-could you believe it, I have a child? Box. Give me your hand, Cox. (he grasps Cox's hand) I also am a man and a father! Cox. How strangely things come about! Well, I've just returned to town from Margate, where I served my first year -we arrived last night by the steamer ; Box. And I've come by train from Southampton. Cox. And finding that Mrs. Bouncer had apartments unoccupied, we popped into them. Box. Precisely as we did. Cox. Then your wife is here? box. Yes, she's in there-(points to door, L) And yours? Cox. (points to door, R.) In there. Box. (solemnly) Cox,-the wonderful sympathy that exists between us, convinces me that nature intended us for Siamese twins. Cox. Or Corsican brothers at least. - (embrace) Box. A thought strikes me, Cox, we should consecrate this day to friendship-by breakfasting together. Cox. With the ladies? Box. With the ladies, of course. Cox. Agreed (rings table bell and calls) Mrs. Bouncer— Mrs. Bounce-c e-e-r.-Bouncer don't exhibit her usual alacrity this morning. |
