people as feverity.-Well, Sir Anthony, I fhall give Mr. Acres his discharge, and prepare Lydia to receive your fon's invocations; and I hope you will represent her to the Captain as an object not altogether illegible.

Sir Anth. Madam, I will handle the subject prudently. Well, I muft leave you-and let me beg you, Mrs. Malaprop, to enforce this matter roundly to the girl;-take my advice-keep a tight hand-if he rejects this propofal-clap her under lock and key: and if you were just to let the fervants forget to bring her dinner for three or four days, you can't conceive how fhe'd come about! [Exit Sir Anth,

Mrs. Mal. Well, at any rate I fhall be glad to get her from under my intuition.-She has fomehow discovered my partiality for Sir Lucius O'Trigger-fure, Lucy can't have betray'd me! -No, the girl is fuch a fimpleton, I fhould have made her confefs it.-Lucy!-Lucy!-(calls.) Had she been one of your artificial ones, I should never have trufted her.

Enter Lucy.

Lucy. Did you call, Ma'am?

Mrs. Mal. Yes, girl.-Did you fee Sir Lucius while you was out?

Lucy. No, indeed, Ma'am, not a glimpse of him. Mrs. Mal. You are fure, Lucy, that you never mention'd

Lucy. O Gemini! I'd fooner cut my tongue out. Mrs. Mal. Well, don't let your fimplicity be impos'd on.

Lucy. No, Ma'am.

Mrs. Mal. So, come to me prefently, and I'll give you another letter to Sir Lucius ;-but mind Lucy-if ever you betray what you are intrusted

with (unless it be other people's fecrets to me) you forfeit my malevolence for ever;-and your being a fimpleton fhall be no excufe for your locality. [Exit Mrs. Mal.

Lucy. Ha ha! ha!-So, my dear fimplicity, let me give you a little refpite-(altering her manner)-let girls in my ftation be as fond as they please of appeating expert, and knowing in their trufts; commend me to a mask of filliness, and a pair of fharp eyes for my own intereft under it! -Let me fee to what account have I turn'd my fimplicity lately— (looks at a paper.) For abetting Mifs Lydia Languifh in a defign of running away with an Enfign!-in money fundry times -twelve pound twelve-gowns, five-bats, ruffles, caps, &c. &c.-numberless!-From the faid Enfign, within this last month, fix guineas and a half. -About a quarter's pay!-Item, from Mrs. Malaprop, for betraying the young people to herwhen I found matters were likely to be difco. vered-two guineas, and a black padufoy.-Item, from Mr. Acres, for carrying divers letters-which I never deliver'd-two guineas, and a pair of buckles.-Item, from Sir Lucius O'Trigger-three crowns-two gold pocket-pieces—and a filver fnuffbox!-Well done, fimplicity !—yet I was forced to make my Hibernian believe, that he was correfponding, not with the Aunt, but with the Niece for though not over rich, I found he had too much pride and delicacy to facrifice the feelings of a gentleman to the neceffities of his for

tune.

[Exit.

ACT II.

Fag.

SCENE I.

Captain Abfolute's Lodgings.

Captain ABSOLUTE and FAG.

IR, while I was there Sir Anthony came in: I told him, you had fent me to in quire after his health, and to know if he was at leifure to fee you.

Abf. And what did he fay, on hearing I was at Bath?

Fag. Sir, in my life I never faw an elderly gentleman more aftonished! He ftarted back two or three paces, rapt out a dozen interjectoral oaths, and afked, what the devil had brought you here? Abf. Well, Sir, and what did you say?

Fag. O, I lied, Sir-I forget the precife lie, but you may depend on't; he got no truth from me. Yet, with fubmiffion, for fear of blunders in future, I should be glad to fix what has brought us to Bath in order that we may lie a little confiftently.-Sir Anthony's fervants were curious, Sir, very curious indeed.

Abf. You have faid nothing to them? Fag. O, not a word, Sir-not a word.-Mr. Thomas, indeed, the coachman (whom I take to be the difcreetest of whips)

Abf. 'Sdeath! trutted him!

you rafcal! you have not

Fag. O, no, Sir-no-no-not a fyllable, upon my veracity!-He was, indeed, a little inquifitive; but I was fly, Sir-devilish fly!-My Mafter (faid I) honeft Thomas (you know, Sir, one fays honeft to one's inferiors) is come to Bath to recruit-Yes, Sir-I faid, to recruit-and whether for men, money, or conftitution, you know, Sir, is nothing to him, nor any one elfe.

Abf. Well-recruit will do-let it be so

Fag. O, Sir, recruit will do furprisingly-indeed, to give the thing an air, I told Thomas, that your Honour had already inlifted, five difbanded chairmen, feven minority waiters, and thirteen billiard markers.

Abf. You blockhead, never fay more than is neceffary.

Fag. I beg pardon, Sir-I beg pardon-But with fubmiffion, a lie is nothing unlefs one fupports it. Sir, whenever I draw on my invention for a good current lie, I always forge indorfements as well as the bill.

Abf. Well, take care you don't hurt your credit, by offering too much fecurity.Is Mr. Faulkland returned?

Fag. He is above, Sir, changing his dress. Abf. Can you tell whether he has been informed of Sir Anthony's and Mifs Melville's arrival?

Fag. I fancy not, Sir; he has feen no one. fince he came in, but his gentleman, who was with him at Bristol.-I think, Sir, I hear Mr. Faulkland coming down

Abf. Go, tell him, I am here.

Fag. Yes, Sir-(going) I beg pardon, Sir, but should Sir Anthony call, you will do me the favour to remember, that we are recruiting, if you please.

Abf. Well, well.

Fag. And in tenderness to my character, if your

Honour could bring in the chairmen and waiters, I fhall efteem it as an obligation;-for though I never fcruple a lie to ferve my Mafter, yet it hurts one's confcience to be found out. [Exit. Abf. Now for my whimsical friend-if he does not know that his miftrefs is here, I'll teafe him a little before I tell him.

Enter FAULKLAND.

Faulkland, you're welcome to Bath again; you are punctual in your return.

Faulk. Yes, I had nothing to detain me, when I had finished the business I went on. Well, what news fince I left you? How ftand matters between you and Lydia?

Abf. Faith, much as they were; I have not feen her fince our quarrel; however, I expect to be recalled every hour.

Faulk. Why don't you perfuade her to go off. with you at once?

Abf. What, and lofe two-thirds of her fortune? You forget that, my friend.-No, no, I could have brought her to that long ago.

Faulk. Nay then, you trifle too long—if you are fure of her, propofe to the aunt in your own character, and write to Sir Anthony for his confent,

Abf. Softly, foftly, for though I am convinced my little Lydia would elope with me as Enfign Beverley, yet am I by no means certain that he would take me with the impediment of our friend's confent, a regular humdrum wedding, and the reverfion of a good fortune on my fide; no, no, I must prepare her gradually for the difcovery, and make myself neceffary to her, before I risk it.-Well, but Faulkland, you'll dine with us to-day at the Hotel?

Faulk. Indeed I cannot; I am not in fpirits to be of fuch a party.