As an Old Jack Daw and a Young Jack Daw Vere a valking out together, As you very vell know what birds vill do That are of the same feather; Says the Old Jack Daw to the Young Jack Daw, I vo'n't valk another stride, For I sees a cow in yonder mead-ow, So let us get up and ride. As the Old Jack Daw and the Young Jack Daw Vere a riding up a top of the cow, Says the Young Jack Daw to the Old Jack Daw, I can ride as vell as thou; Says the Old Jack Daw to the Young Jack Daw, Vhy you can't ride half so vell; Then, says the Young Jack Daw to the Old Jack Daw, If I can't, vhy then I vill cut a great swell. As the Old Jack Daw and the Young Jack Daw Vere going on with their dispute, Says the Old Jack Daw to the Young Jack Daw, I vishes as how you'd be mute; Says the Young Jack Daw to the Old Jack Daw, I vo'n't, for I'll kick up a row; Why then, says the Old Jack Daw to the Young Jack Daw, Vhen the Old Jack Daw saw the Young Jack Daw, He vas sorry for vhat he had done; Says the Old Jack Daw to the Young Jack Daw, Oh! indeed, it was only in fun; Says the Young Jack Daw to the Old Jack Daw, I'll go home and I'll tell my mammy; Vhy then, says the Old Jack Daw to the Youn, Jack Daw, If I care for the old witch, d--me. MORAL. Attend, all good people, both old and young, To vhat I vould say to you now, And whenever you goes for to valk out together, Don't get up a top of a cow; And, like the poor dicky birds, quarrel and figat, Lest you gets a bloody nose; You may be sent home in the wery same plight, With a nastiness over your clothes. ........ OH, THEN I THINK OF THEE, DEAR LOVE. OH! not when other eyes may read My heart upon my cheek, Oh! not when other ears can hear, Dare I of love to speak! But when the stars rise from the sea, Oh! then I think of thee! When o'er the olives of the dell And when upon the rose the dew And buds close upon the chestnut tree,- Oh! then I think of thee! ........ IRISH PROVIDENCE. Air-" The Sprig of Shellelagh." My darling, says Pat, to his spouse on his lap, At this present moment we're not worth a rap, With our faces so lean, and our duds on cur backs, For if Providence minds to send legs to your chairs, Sure he'll never forget to send fathers for heirs- So to him and Old Nick I kick babies and you- HARK! HARK! THE JOY-INSPIRING HORN. HARK! hark! the joy-inspiring horn And echoes through the dale; Nor gates nor hedges can impede She faints, she falls, she dies! ........ THE TEAR. (Byron.) WHEN friendship or love Our sympathies move; When truth, in a glance, should appear, The lips may beguile But the test of affection's a tear. Too oft is a smile But the hypocrite's wile, Mild Charity's glow, Shows the soul from barbarity clear; Compassion will melt Is Glory's romantic career; And bathes every wound with a tear. Renouncing the gore-crimsoned spear; Sweet scene of my youth, But thy spire was scarce seen through a tear. Though my vows I can pour My Mary, to love once so dear; She rewarded those vows with a tear. By another possessed, Her name still my heart must revere; With a sigh I resign What I once thought was mine, And forgive her deceit with a tear. Ye friends of my heart, Ere from you I depart, This hope to my breast is more near; As ye pass by the tomb May no marble bestow Which the children of Vanity rear; ........ THE CHURCHWARDENS' DINNER. OH! what a fine sight is a churchwardens' dinner, more: I'm sure t'must give pleasure, yes e'en to a sinner, To see how they stuff for the good of the poor. Now, you take the chair, he'll attend to the table; And I'll be the steward till dinner is o'er; Our Vice has much virtue, I'm sure that he's able And willing to carve for the good of the poor. SPOKEN.] Now, gentlemen, with your permission, Mr. Guzzlewine shall take the chair. Bravo! Yes, yes. Gentlemen, in returning thanks for the honour done me, I can only say-I can only sayupon my soul I'm very much obliged to you. Bravo! bravo! bravo! That's what I call a short speech and a merry one. Vell, that's just what I wishes for in my liquor; I loves a drop of something short. I say, Jack, when do you think the dinner will come up? To-morrow morning, perhaps. Sir, I am disgusted with your insinivation. My dear Mr. Fullboy, you'll get a crick in your neck if you keep sitting with your back to the door. Thank'e, sir, it's the only thing I have been fright ened of for a long time. Then, sir, I can only say that you are not a jolly fellow, or you would never be frightened at a draught. Your draught, sir, is dry wit, and wants something to wet it. Then look out for the wine;-but here comes the dinner. Silence, gentlemen, for Non nobbis. Non what, sir? Non nobbis. Non the devil! There's an ignorant dog to call grace the devil. Silence! silence! for Oh! what a fine sight, &c. Pray walk up that leg, sir, and hoist me the poor. Alderman Gobble takes turtle and sherry : Here, bring me some wine, waiter, you keep the door. Our president, Guzzlewine's, drank himself merry, But all this is done for the good of the poor. SPOKEN.] Pray, sir, can you tell me what I've got on my plate? The wing of a fowl, sir. Then I can only say that it's a foul wing. Lord! sir, that was a merry thought. Yes, and if you wait a bit, that gentleman has got another. Where? Why, sticking in his throat. Sir, I vishes as how you vouldn't shake your floury head so when you eat, for roast goose doesn't vant a dredger. Sir, how dare you insinuate that I have flour in my head. I insinuate, sir, that you've got nothing in your head. Order, order, gentlemen; being all plain men, we don't want any flowry language here. No; but let me tell you, sir, ill-bred men, when they talk about flour, are enough to make any man crusty. I ax your pardon, sir, but I had no idea you was a baker. 'There's Mr. Dipwell, the tallow-chandler, sitting with nothing before him: what will you please to take, sir? A little bit of any thing fat, sir. Mr. Fitwell, the shoemaker, what shall I help you to? A little bit of that eel pie, if you please. What do you wish for, Doctor Preachaway? A good sole, sir. He! he! he! that's werry droll, -soles and eels. Now, gentlemen, I'll ask you a riddle : -Why does a clergyman and a shoemaker resemble each other? I don't know, sir. Do you, sir? No. Do you, sir? No. Why, then, I'll tell you; because they both endeavour to mend the understanding. Is it? well, What a fine sight, &c. The cloth now removed, and the president, rising, Proposes a toast which was oft drank before; Some drink it with spirits, some swallow't with wine in, But all that they drink's for the good of the poor. Now merriment reigning, they argue grave matter, Bring the poor on the carpet-themselves on the floor; Talk of charity sermons in outrageous clatter, poor. SPOKEN.] Gentlemen, in rising to give the health of our worthy wicker, I can only say that I am giving that of a good man, (bravo!) -a man that is eager to benefit both his own and every body else's soul and body; -a man that never flinches from a two-hours' sermon, or a two-pint bottle; -a man that wishes to benefit and bring even his curate into practice, by letting him do all the church business throughout the year, while he himself, gentlemen, is generously lying in bed, or resting from the hard effects of a drinking bout, which has made him unfit for any thing in the world but a bishop. It is useless to say more, gentlemen; so here is the Rev. Dr. Graspall, with three times three. Mr. Drinkaway, sir, you've cracked a bottle. Well, sir, what of that; I intends to crack a dozen before I leaves the room. Holloa! where's the chairman? Why, lying under the table, with the parish-clerk's foot in his mouth. Then I can only say, that he is very near a calf. Oh! what a fine sight, &c. ........ O SAY NOT WOMAN'S LOVE IS BOUGHT. (Pocock.) OH! say not woman's love is bought When first her gentle bosom knows Ah, no, the love that first can warm, ....... THE SOLDIER'S ADIEU. (Dibdin.) ADIEU, adieu, my only life! My honour calls me from thee; Remember thou'rt a soldier's wife, Those tears but ill become thee: What though, by duty, I am called Where thundering cannons rattle, Where valour's self might stand appalled, When on the wings of thy dear love, To heaven above, Thy fervent orisons are flown; Shall call a guardian angel down, My safety thy fair truth shall be, Assured when on the wings of love, Enough, with that benignant smile, We have cast-iron gates and lamp-posts, Whose wife kicks up a terrible row, sir, Make a cast-iron tongue for my spouse, sir. We have cast-iron fenders and grates, Wish her dear hubby's head to adorn, sir, 'Twill be easy to have a pair made Of beautiful cast-iron horns, sir. Tol, lol, lol, &c. game, And Truth kick'd aside to give credence to lies. Then, there's little Wainscot, the carpenter's son, Will tell you strange stories, and swear he has read so; Which found to be false, says, " as sure as a gu, "That lying fellow the cobbler said so." Then, there's Barbarossa, the shaver, will spin Then, the butcher, the baker, the grocer, and Are as full of reports as an egg's full of meat, And, should they but hear we have taken a ship, Will tell you, and swear it, we've taken a fleet' Yet, when it's discovered such news is a lie, And more are found hatching where others have bred so, To get off with credit, then comes the old cry, Between so-and-so, when, oh! terrible case, When again it was said, with a stare and a why, "That lying fellow, the cobbler, said so." "So my sons from your crackers no mischief shall "Whilst, snug in their club-room they jovially "The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine. Next, Momus got up, with his risible phiz, And swore with Apollo he'd cheerfully join"The full tide of harmony still shall be his, "But the song, and the catch, and the laugh, dread, twine shall be mine. "Then, Jove, be not jealous "Of these honest fellows.". WE'LL GANG TO KIRK AWA'. Is always wooing me: For we will gang to kirk, my love, My father's grown a crabbed man, But let them scold, and let them frown, For we will gang to kirk, &c. My granny's kind, and takes our part And Jamie's hopes are joined to mine, To pray she may not die: For, while we have a friend in her, We fear no mickle din; Still Jamie fondly whispers me, "Hoot! dinna care a pin!" For we will gang to kirk, &0. ........ ARISE! AND BLOW THE TRUMPET, ARISE! and blow the trumpet, Fame! To realms and worlds unknown: The solemn temple's cloud-capt towers, We help the poor in time of need, ........ MR. LARRY O'GALLIGAN MAC FUSLE'S AMOURS. Air-" Paddy O'Carrol." OCH, when I was a gossoon so merry and frisky, No smaller, do you see, than a large water-log, |