Marl. Yes, sir: supper, sir: I begin to feel an appetite. I shall make devilish work to-night in the larder, I promise you.

Hard. (Aside.) Such a brazen dog sure never my eyes beheld. (To him.) Why really, sir, as for supper, I can't well tell. My Dorothy and the cook settle these things between them. I leave these kind of things entirely to them.

Marl. You do, do you?

Hard. Entirely. By the by, I believe they are in actual consultation, upon what's for supper, this moment, in the kitchen

Marl. Then I beg they'll admit me as one of their privycouncil. It's a way I have got. When I travel, I always choose to regulate my own supper. Let the cook be called. No offence, I hope, sir.

Hard. O no, sir, none in the least; yet, I don't know how, our Bridget, the cook-maid, is not very communicative upon these occasions. Shou'd we send for her, she might scold us all out of the house.

Hast. Let's see the list of the larder, then, I ask it as a favour. I always match my appetite to my bill of fare.

Marl. (To Hardcastle, who looks at them with surprise.) Sir, he's very right, and it's my way, too.

Hard. Sir, you have a right to command here. Roger, bring us the bill of fare for to-night's supper. I believe it's drawn out. Your manner, Mr. Hastings, puts me in mind of my uncle, Colonel Wallop. It was a saying of his, that no man was sure of his supper till he had eaten it.

Hast. (Aside.) All upon the high ropes! His uncle a colonel! we shall soon hear of his mother being a justice of the peace. But let's hear the bill of fare.

Marl. (Perusing.) What's here? For the first course; for the second course; for the dessert. The devil, sir, do you think we have brought down the whole joiner's company, or the corporation of Bedford, to eat up such a supper? Two or three things, clean and comfortable, will do.

Hast. But let's hear it.

Marl. (Reading.) For the first course, at the top, a pig, and pruin-sauce.

Hast. Damn your pig, I say.

Marl. And damn your pruin-sauce, I say.

Hard. And yet, gentlemen, to men that are hungry, pig, with pruin-sauce, is very good eating.

Marl. At the bottom, a calf's tongue and brains.

Hast. Let your brains be knocked out, my good sir; I don't like them.

Marl. Or you may clap them on a plate by themselves; I do.

Hard. (Aside.) Their impudence confounds me. (To them.) Gentlemen you are my guests, make what alterations you please. Is their any thing else you wish to retrench, or alter, gentlemen?

Marl. Item. A pork pie, a boiled rabbit and sausages, a florentine, a shaking pudding, and a dish of tiff―taff-taffety cream!

Hast. Confound your made dishes. I shall be as much at a loss in this house as at a green and yellow dinner at the French ambassador's table. I'm for plain cating.

Hard. I'm sorry, gentlemen, that I have nothing you like; but if there be any thing you have a particular fancy to

Marl. Why, really, sir, your bill of fare is exquisite, that any one part of it is full as good as another. Send us what you please. So much for supper: and now to see that our beds are aired, and properly taken care of.

Hard. I entreat you'll leave all that to me. You shall not stir a step.

Marl. Leave that to you! I protest, sir, you must excuse me: I always look to these things myself.

Hard. I must insist, sir, you'll make yourself easy on that head.

(Aside.) A very

Marl. You see I'm resolved on it. troublesome fellow this as ever I met with.

Hard. Well, sir, I'm resolved at least to attend you. (Aside.) This may be modern modesty, but I never saw any thing look so like old-fashioned impudence. [Exeunt Marl. and Hard.

Hastings solus.

Hast. So I find this fellow's civilities begin to grow troublesome. But who can be angry at those assiduities which are meant to please him? Ha! what do I see? Miss Neville, by all that's happy!

Enter Miss Neville.

Miss Nev. My dear Hastings! To what unexpected good fortune, to what accident, am I to ascribe this happy meeting? Hast. Rather let me ask the same question, as I could never have hoped to meet my dear Constance at an inn.

Miss Nev. An inn! sure you mistake! My aunt, my guardian, live here. What could induce you to think this house an inn?

Hast. My friend, Mr. Marlow, with whom I came down, and I have been sent here as to an inn, I assure you. A young fellow, whom we accidently met at a house hard by, directed us hither.

Miss Nev. Certainly it must have been one of my hopeful cousin's tricks, of whom you have heard me talk so often, ha! ha ha ha!

Hast. He whom your aunt intends for you? He of whom I have such just apprehensions?

Miss Nev. You have nothing to fear from him, I assure you You'd adore him, if you knew how heartily he despises me.

My aunt knows it too, and has undertaken to court me for him; and actually begins to think she has made a conquest.

Hast. Thou dear dissembler! You must know, my Constance, I have just seized this happy opportunity of my friend's visit here, to get admittance into the family. The horses that carried us down are now fatigued with their journey; but they'll soon be refreshed; and then, if my dearest girl will trust in her faithful Hastings, we shall soon be landed in France; where, even among slaves, the laws of marriage are respected.

Miss Nev. I have often told you, that though ready to obey you, I yet should leave my little fortune behind with reluctance. The greatest part of it was left me by my uncle, the India director, and chiefly consists in jewels. I have been for some time persuading my aunt to let me wear them. I fancy I am very near succeeding. The instant they are put into my possession, you shall find me ready to make them and myself your's.

Hast. Perish the baubles! Your person is all I desire. In the mean time, my friend Marlow must not be let into his mistake; I know the strange reserve of his temper is such, that if abruptly informed of it, he would instantly quit the house, before our plan was ripe for execution.

Miss Nev. But how shall we keep him in the deception? Miss Hardcastle is just returned from walking; what if we still continue to deceive him?This, this way [They confer.

Enter Marlow.

Marl. The assiduities of these good people teaze me beyond bearing. My host seems to think it ill manners to leave me alone, and so he claps not only himself but his old fashioned wife on my back. They talk of coming to sup with us too; and then, I supppose, we are to run the gauntlet through all the rest of the family-What have we got here?—

Hast. My dear Charles! Let me congratulate you!-The most fortunate accident!-Who do you think is just alighted? Marl. Cannot guess.

Hast. Our mistresses, boy, Miss Hardcastle and Miss Neville. Give me leave to introduce Miss Constance Neville to your acquaintance. Happening to dine in the neighbourhood, they called, on their return, to take fresh horses here. Miss Hardcastle has just stept into the next room, and will be back in an instant. Was'nt it lucky? eh!

Marl. (Aside.) I have just been mortified enough of all conscience, and here comes something to complete my embarrass

ment.

Hast. Well, but was'nt it the most fortunate thing in the world?

Marl. Oh! yes. Very fortunate-a most joyful encounterBut our dresses, George, you know are in disorder-What if we

should postpone the happiness till to-morrow?-To morrow, at her own house-It will be every bit as convenient-And rather more respectful--To-morrow let it be. [Offering to go.

Miss Nev. By no means, sir. Your ceremony will displease her. The disorder of your dress will shew the ardour of your impatience; besides, she knows you are in the house, and will permit you to see her.

Marl. O! the devil! how shall I support it! Hem! hem!. Hastings, you must not go. You are to assist me, you know. I shall be confoundedly ridiculous. Yet, hang it! I'll take courage. Hem!

Hast. Pshaw, man! it's but the first plunge, and all's over. She's but a woman, you know.

Marl. And of all women, she that I dread most to encounter. Enter Miss Hardcastle, as returning from walking, a bonnet, &c.

Hast. (Introducing him.) Miss Hardcastle, Mr. Marlow, I'm proud of bringing two persons of such merit together, that only want to know, to esteem each other.

Miss Hard. (Aside.) Now for meeting my modest gentleman with a demure face, and quite in his own manner. (After a pause, in which he appears very uneasy and disconcerted.) I'm glad of your safe arrival, sir-I'm told you had some accidents by the way.

Marl. Only a few, madam. Yes, we had some. Yes, madam, a good many accidents; but should be sorry--madam—or rather glad of any accidents-that are so agreeably concluded. Hem !

Hast. (To him.) You never spoke better in your whole life. Keep it up, and I'll ensure you the victory.

Miss Hard. I'm afraid you flatter, sir. You, that have seen so much of the finest company, can find little entertainment in an obscure corner of the country.

Marl. (Gathering courage.) I have lived, indeed, in the world, madam; but I have kept very little company. I have been an observer upon life, madam, while others were enjoying it.

Miss Nev. But that, am told, is the way to enjoy it at last. Hast. (To him.) Cicero never spoke better. Once more, and you are confirmed in assurance for ever.

Marl. (To him.) Hem! Stand by me, then, and when I'm down, throw in a word or two to set me up again.

Miss Hard. An observer like you upon life, were, I fear, disagreeably employed, since you must have had much more to censure than to approve.

Marl. Pardon me, madam. I was always willing to he amused. The folly of most people is rather an object of mirth than uneasiness.

Hast. (To him.) Bravo, Bravo. Never spoke so well in your whole life. Well! Miss Hardcastle, I see that you and

Mr. Marlow are going to be very good company. I believe our being here will but embarrass the interview.

Marl. Not in the least, Mr. Hastings. We like your company of all things. (To him.) Zounds! George, sure you won't go how can you leave us?

Hast. Our presence will but spoil conve nversation, so we'll retire to the next room. (To him.) You don't consider, man, that we are to manage a little tête-à-tête of our own. [Exeunt.

Miss Hard. (After a pause.) But you have not been wholly an observer, I presume, sir: the ladies, I should hope, have employed some part of your addresses.

Marl. (Relapsing into timidity.) Pardon me, madam, I— I-I-as yet have studied-only-to-deserve them.

Miss Hard. And that, some say, is the very worst way to obtain them.

Marl. Perhaps, so, madam. But I love to converse only with the more grave and sensible part of the sex-But I'm afraid I grow tiresome.

Miss Hard. Not at all, sir; there is nothing I like so much as grave conversation myself; I could hear it for ever. Indeed, I have often been surprised how a man of sentiment could ever admire those light, airy pleasures, where nothing reaches the heart.

Marl. It's a disease-of the mind, madam. In the variety of tastes there must be some, who, wanting a relish-for-um

u-um.

Miss Hard. I understand you, sir. There must be some, who, wanting a relish for refined pleasures, pretend to despise what they are incapable of tasting.

Marl. My meaning, madam, but infinitely better expressed. And I can't help observing-a

Miss Hard. (Aside.) Who could ever suppose this fellow impudent upon some occasions? (To him.) You were going to observe, sir

Marl. I was observing, madam-I protest, madam, I forget what I was going to observe.

Miss Hard. (Aside.) I vow, and so do I. (To him.) You were observing, sir, that in this age of hypocrisy, something about hypocrisy, sir.

Marl. Yes, madam in this age of hypocrisy there are few who, upon strict enquiry, do not—a—a

Miss Hard. I understand you perfectly, sir.

Marl. (Aside.) Egad! and that's more than I do myself. Miss Hard. You mean that, in this hypocritical age, there are few that do not condemn in public what they practise in private, and think they pay every debt to virtue when they praise it.

Marl. True, madam; those who have most virtue in their mouths have least of it in their bosoms. But I'm sure I tire you, madam.