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THE DOUBLE TRANSFORMATION:

A TALE.

SECLUDED from domestic strife,
Jack Bookworm led a college life;
A fellowship at twenty-five,
Made him the happiest man alive;
He drank his glass, and crack'd his joke,
And freshmen wonder'd as he spoke.

Such pleasures, unalloy'd with care, Could any accident impair? Could Cupid's shaft at length transfix Our swain arriv'd at thirty-six ? O had the archer ne'er come down Το ravage in a country town, Or Flavia had been content to stop At triumphs in a Fleet-street shop! O had her eyes forgot to blaze, Or Jack had wanted eyes to gaze! 0! -But let exclamation cease. Her presence banish'd all his peace: So, with decorum all things carried, Miss frown'd, and blush'd, and then was-married.

Need we expose to vulgar sight The raptures of the bridal night? Need we intrude on hallow'd ground,

Or draw the curtains clos'd around?
Let it suffice, that each had charms :
He clasp'd a goddess in his arms;
And, though she felt his usage rough,
Yet in a man 'twas well enough.

The honey-moon like lightning flew :
The second brought its transports too.
A third, a fourth, were not amiss,
The fifth was friendship mix'd with bliss:
But, when a twelvemonth pass'd away,
Jack found his goddess made of clay :
Found half the charms that deck'd her face
Arose from powder, shreds, or lace;
But still the worst remain'd behind,
That very face had robb'd her mind

Skill'd in no other arts was she, But dressing, patching, repartee; And, just as humour rose or fell, By turns a slattern, or a belle; "Tis true she dress'd with modern grace, Half naked at a ball or race; But when at home, at board or bed, Five greasy night-caps wrapp'd her head. Could so much beauty condescend To be a dull domestic friend?

Could any curtain-lectures bring
To decency so fine a thing?
In short, by night 'twas fits or fretting;
By day 'twas gadding or coquetting.
Fond to be seen, she kept a bevy
Of powder'd coxcombs at her levee :
The 'squire and captain took their stations,
And twenty other near relations;
Jack suck'd his pipe, and often broke
A sigh in suffocating smoke;
While all their hours were past between
Insulting repartee or spleen.

Thus as her faults each day were known,
He thinks her features coarser grown:
He fancies every vice she shews,

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Or thins her lip, or points her nose:
Whenever rage or envy rise,

How wide her mouth, how wild her eyes!
He knows not how, but so it is,

Her face is grown a knowing phiz; And, though her fops are wondrous civil, 'He thinks her ugly as the devil.

Now, to perplex the ravell'd noose,
As each a different way pursues,
While sullen or loquacious strife
Promised to hold them on for life,
That dire disease, whose ruthless power
Withers the beauty's transient flower,
Lo! the small pox, whose horrid glare
Levell'd its terrors at the fair;
And, rifling every youthful grace,
Left but the remnant of a face.

The glass grown hateful to her sight,
Reflected now a perfect fright;
Each former art she vainly tries,
To bring back lustre to her eyes.
In vain she tries her paste and creams,
To smooth her skin, or hide its seams;
Her country beaux and city cousins,
Lovers no more, flew off by dozens;

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THE LOGICIANS REFUTED.

(In imitation of Dean Swift.)

LOGICIANS have but ill defin'd
As rational the human mind:
Reason, they say, belongs to man;
But let them prove it if they can.
Wise Aristotle and Smiglesius,
By ratiocinations specious,
Have strove to prove with great precision,'
With definition and division,
Homo est ratione præditum;
But for my soul I cannot credit 'em,
And must in spite of them maintain,
That man and all his ways are vain;
And that this boasted lord of nature,
Is both a weak and erring creature ;
That instinct is a surer guide,
Than reason, boasting mortals' pride;
And that brute beasts are far before 'em,
Deus est anima brutorum.

Who ever knew an honest brute

At law his neighbour prosecute,
Bring action for assault and battery,
'Or friends beguile with lies and flattery?
O'er plains they ramble unconfin'd,
No politics disturb their mind;
'They eat their meals, and take their sport,
Nor know who's in or out at court.
They never to the levee go,
To treat as dearest friend a foe:
They never importune his grace,
Nor ever cringe to men in place;
.Nor undertake a dirty job,
Nor draw the quill to write for Bob.
Fraught with invective they ne'er go,
To folks at Paternoster row:
No judges, fiddlers, dancing-masters,
No pickpockets, or poetasters,
Are known to honest quadrupeds;
No single brute his fellow leads,

Brutes never meet in bloody fray,
Nor cut each other's throats for pay.
Of beasts, it is confess'd, the ape
Comes nearest us in human shape
Like man he imitates each fashion,
And malice is his ruling passion:
But both in malice and grimaces,
A courtier anv ape surpasses.
Behold him, numbly, cringing wait
Upon the minister of state:
View him soon after to inferiors
Aping the conduct of superiors:
He promises with equal air,
And to perform takes equal care.
He in his turn finds imitators :
At court the porters, lacqueys, waiters,
Their masters' manners still contract,
And footmen, lords, and dukes can act
Thus at the court, both great and small
Behave alike, for all ape all.

ON A

BEAUTIFUL YOUTH STRUCK BLIND BY

LIGHTNING.

(Imitated from the Spanish.)

SURE 'twas by Providence design'd,
Rather in pity than in hate,
That he should be, like Cupid blind,
To save him from Narcissus' fate.

STANZAS ON WOMAN.

WHEN lovely woman stoops to folly,

And finds too late that men betray,
What charm can soothe her melancholy,
What art can wash her guilt away?

The only art her guilt to cover,

To hide her shame from every eye,
To give repentance to her lover,

And wring his bosom-is to die.

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