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Another Apartment in SIR JOHN's House.
Enter LADY MARY OLDBOY, MR. JESSAMY leading her.
Lady M. O. 'Tis all in vain, my dear-set me down any where; I can't go a step further-I knew, when Mr. Oldboy insisted upon my coming, that I should be seized with a meagrim by the way; and it's well I did not die in the coach.
Jess. But, pr'ythee, why will you let yourself be affected with such trifles-Nothing more common than for young women of fashion to go off with low fellows.
Lady M. O. Only feel, my dear, how I tremble! Not a nerve but what is in agitation; and my blood runs cold, cold!
Jess. Well, but, Lady Mary, don't let us expose ourselves to those people! I see there is not one of the rascals about us, that has not a grin upon his
Lady M. O. Expose ourselves, my dear! ther will be as ridiculous as Hudibras, Quixote.
Your faor Don
Enter SIR JOHN FLOWERDALE and COLONEL
Sir J. F. I give you my word, my good friend and neighbour, the joy I feel upon this occasion is greatly allayed by the disappointment of an alliance with your family; but I have explained to you how things have
happened-You see my situation; and, as you are kind enough to consider it yourself, I hope you will excuse it to your son.
Lady M. O. Sir John Flowerdale, how do you do? You see we have obeyed your summons; and I have the pleasure to assure you, that my son yielded to my entreaties with very little disagreement: in short, if I may speak metaphorically, he is content to stand candidate again, notwithstanding his late repulse, when he hopes for an unanimous election.
Col. O. My lady, you may save your rhetoric; for the borough is disposed of to a worthier member. Jess. What do you say, sir?
Enter LIONEL and CLARISSA.
Sir J. F. Here are my son and daughter.
Sir J. F. Believe me, madam, it is not for want of -a just sense of Mr. Jessamy's merit, that this affair has gone off on my side: but the heart is a delicate thing; and after it has once felt, if the object is meritorious, the impression is not easily effaced; it would therefore have been an injury to him, to have given him in appearance what another in reality pos
Jess. Upon my honour, upon my soul, Sir John, I am not the least offended at this contre temps-Pray, Lady Mary, say no more about it.
Col. O. Tol, lol, lol, lol.
Sir J. F. But, my dear Colonel, I am afraid, after all, this affair is taken amiss by you; yes, I see you are angry on your son's account; but let me repeat it, I have a very high opinion of his merit.
Col. O. Ay! that's more than I have. Taken amiss! I don't take any thing amiss; I never was in better spirits, or more pleased, in my life.
Sir J. F. Come, you are uneasy at something, Colonel?
Col. O. Me! gad I am not uneasy-Are you a justice of peace? Then you could give me a warrant, cou'dn't you? You must know, Sir John, a little accident has happened in my family since I saw you last, you and I may shake hands-Daughters, sir, daughters! Yours has snapped at a young fellow, without your approbation; and how do you think mine has served me this morning ?-only run away with the scoundrel I brought to dinner here yesterday.
Sir J. F. I am excessively concerned.
Col. O. Now I'm not a bit concerned-No, damn me, I am glad it has happened; yet, thus far, I'll confess, I should be sorry, that either of them would come in my way, because a man's temper may sometimes get the better of him, and I believe, I should be tempted to break her neck, and blow his brains out.
Clar. But pray, sir, explain this affair,
Col. O. I can explain it no farther-Dy, my daughter Dy, has run away from us.
Enter DIANA and HARMAN.
Diana. No, my dear papa, I am not run away; and upon my knees, I entreat your pardon for the folly I have committed; but, let it be some alleviation, that duty and affection were too strong to suffer me to carry it to extremity: and, if you knew the agony I have been in, since I saw you last
Lady M. O. How's this?
Har. Sir, I restore your daughter to you; whose fault, as far as it goes, I must also take upon myself; we have been known to each other for some time; as Lady Richly, your sister, in London, can acquaint you
Col. O. Dy, come here-Now, you rascal, where's your sword? if you are a gentleman, you shall fight me; if you are a scrub, I'll horsewhip you-Draw, sirrah-Shut the door there; don't let him escape.
Har. Sir, don't imagine I want to escape; I am extremely sorry for what has happened, but am ready to give you any satisfaction you think proper.
Col. O. Follow me into the garden then-Zounds! I have no sword about me-Sir John Flowerdalelend us a case of pistols, or a couple of guns; and, come and see fair play.
Lady M. O. Mr. Oldboy, if you attempt to fight, I shall expire.
Sir J. F. Pray, Colonel, let me speak a word to you in private.
Col. O. Slugs and a sawpit
Jess. Why, Miss Dy, you are a perfect heroine for a romance- And pray who is this courteous
Lady M. O. Oh, sir, you, that I thought such a pretty behaved gentleman!
Jess. What business are you of, friend?
Har. My chief trade, sir, is plain dealing; and, as that is a commodity you have no reason to be very fond of, I would not advise you to purchase any of it by impertinence.
Col. O. And is this what you would advise me to?
Sir J. F. It is indeed, my dear old friend; as things are situated, there is, in my opinion, no other prudent method of proceeding; and it is the method I would adopt myself, was I in your case.
Col. O. Why, I believe you are in the right of itsay what you will for me then.
Sir J. F. Well, young people, I have been able to use a few arguments, which have softened my neighbour here; and in some measure pacified his resentment. I find, sir, you are a gentleman, by your connexions?
Har. Sir, till it is found that my character and family will bear the strictest scrutiny, I desire no favour. And, for fortune--
Col. O. Oh, rot your fortune! I don't mind that—I
know you are a gentleman, or Dick Rantum would not have recommended you. And so, Dy, kiss and friends.
Jess. What, sir, have you no more to say to the man who has used you so ill?
Col. O. Used me ill!-that's as I take it-he bas done a mettled thing; and, perhaps, I like him the better for it; it's long before you would have spirit enough to run away with a wench.-Harman, give me your hand; let's hear no more of this now.-Sir John Flowerdale, what say you? shall we spend the day together, and dedicate it to love and harmony? Sir J. F. With all my heart.
Lionel. Come then, all ye social pow'rs,
Shed your influence o'er us,
And Lionels for ever find
Clarissas to reward them.
Clar. Love, thy godhead I adore,
Those idols, wealth, or fashion.
Why the plague should men be sad,
Grave, or gay, or vex'd, or glad,