wart, it can neither be blown nor worn with satisfaction, | fair prospect of the matter being hushed up and settled and is only possessed by men as little in proportion as the without war. excressence itself. Napoleon gave small-nosed men a particularly wide berth-and there was reason. There are modifications of all these varieties; and, indeed, a great proportion of all the noses may be termed modifications. We have the "bottle nose," the "carbuncle nose," the "rum-blossom nose, "the "squab nose, "the "flat nose," and the nose with the knob at the end. The next to the last named embraces the African nose. A wide nostril denotes a deep, full chest. A very red and highly-inflamed nose is significant of "apple-jack," "which is a "weakness." Washington had a very fine, wide-ridged Grecian nose. The Greeks are generally supposed to have Grecian noses. Wellington had a remarkable Roman nose, and most Romans have them likewise. John Randolph and Tristam Burgess had aquiline noses. "Turn-up" and " noses are not commonly sported by great men." Louis Napoleon is on his high-heeled boots; his baby has been baptized by a Cardinal, sent by the Pope expressly for the purpose; the Napoleon dynasty is considered established, and the French Emperor is regarded as the foremost sovereign in Europe. The political volcanoes of Italy are still throwing up smoke, but the eruption is not yet. The threatened invasion of Mexico by Spain is given up, and the ships of war have returned from Vera Cruz to Havana. Mexico has agreed to pay up certain Spanish claims, which the fleet went to enforce. President Comonfort is in funds now to do it, having confiscated most of the church property in the country, which produces a revenue of nearly twenty millions of dollars. Nicaragua is fulfilling the adage, that "revolutions The gallant Walker is still in the never go backward." pug ascendant, and is unquestionably opening up a new and He apimportant era in the history of Central America. pears to be the man for the times. The people of Nicaragua regard him as their deliverer from selfish and tyranniAt our last dates they had cal rulers and civil wars. elected him President by a very large majority of votes. A race of people-thank Heaven becoming extinctcalled Yankees, have succeeded in converting the nose into a musical instrument, of wondrous power but somewhat deficient in sweetness. It is not commonly considered so good as the natural organ, and it is to be fervently hoped will in time be disused. We have only to fancy the human countenance divested of the nose, to agree with Moses that the nasal appendage is " very good in its place." The advocates of Aaron's theory are becoming rare. A GLANCE ALL ROUND. "ORDER reigns in Warsaw;" but the Russians are rebuilding some of their fortifications and defenses in a manner that seems to indicate, that while they put their trust in God they mean "to keep their powder dry." In the meantime the Emperor is turning his attention to internal improvements and the arts of peace. John Bull has wisely concluded not to fly in a passion and pitch into Brother Jonathan because Minister Crampton was summarily sent home. John even has no idea of dismissing Mr. Dallas. Mr. Crampton is made the scapegoat, and the enlistment difficulty is settled. The Central American dispute, John still thinks, is a fair quarrel, and offers to leave it out" to a third party to say how it shall be settled. But an awful rumpus had occurred between John and Jonathan at the last dates from London, which bid fair for a short time to knock all other quarrels into a cocked hat. A member of Jonathan's family went to the Queen's levee, or public reception, wearing a yellow vest and black cravat. The master of ceremonies had the great presence of mind and self-possession to stop the horrid looking "critter" at the door, and sent him off before he got inside to frighten the Queen. But it was evident the Queen had a narrow escape; and as soon as the thing became known out of doors London boiled over with excitement. The "Thunderer" roared, and all the lesser papers, Tray, Blanche and Sweetheart, barked at the yellow vest and black "hankercher." It is said he will now model the Government after that of the United States. Rivas had retired from the Presidency In California the people are in the midst of a revolution, some account of which may be found in the preceding pages. LIFE IN THE SOUTH WEST...... No. VI. BY ROBUR. LAW IN THE BACKWOODS. ONE who has never traveled through the immense forests that extend over a large portion of Uncle Sam's" farm, and more especially that portion usually called the South-west, has much to see of life and character not to be met with elsewhere, and little dreamed of by those who bud and bloom in the dust of our great cities. Here are to be found the hunter and trapper, who have not, perhaps, been within the limits of a city since childhood, have never seen the wonders of steam, or even heard of the mighty telegraph; for what cares he for such things, so long as he can boast that he "owns the best dog, and shoots the best rifle in these diggings?" Contented to live in a small log cabin, his wants are but few, and easily gratified, and seldom or never living near another habitation, the stranger is ever a welcome guest at his simple board. There are few men so set in their principles or opinions as these sturdy foresters; and I regret to say they have little regard for either time or dates. Indeed, with most of them, principles never change-once a Jackson man always a Jackson man. I was told of one instance which throws the persevering consistency of our good old Long Island Jackson men quite into the shade. One resolute old democrat, who had made it a matter of principle to be on hand "at the polls" on every Presidential election since the time of Gen. Jackson's administration, and havWhen John understood that the Ministering the most unbounded admiration for that old hero, he had left with the yellow vest, he looked quite aghast. Mr. regularly cast his vote for his re-election, even after the Dallas, however, writes home to Mr. Marcy that there is a old General had been dead for years. The Queen, however, showed good pluck, for no sooner was she told of what had happened at the door, than she intimated that she wasn't "afeared," and ordered the master of ceremonies to let the man in. But it was too late; the man had gone, and the American Minister had gone with him. At last, however, on going to the polls on one occasion | have decided the case against him. O'Toole at once obwith his Jackson vote in his hand, he was thrown quite jected to the question being answered. The Judge insisted aback by a neighbor, who declared to him, upon his honor, O'Toole was obstinate in his refusal, saying such a course that old Hickory had been dead these seven years. Our was contrary to all law and justice. sturdy Democrat was puzzled for a while to know how to get along with his principles. But after retiring a short time, he returned again to the charge with a new ballot in his hand, written out in full, "for General Jackson's executors and administrators." The Judge said it wasn't; and finally, after much talk in the same strain, he adjourned the Court for dinner, saying if he did not then answer the question he would give the case against him. On leaving the Court-room, my friend took the Judge by It was once my good fortune to travel through a part the arm, and leading him to his horse, took from his sadof the interior of Florida in company with a young law-die-bags a flask of whisky, and started for the house, yer, whom I will call O'Toole, he being of Irish descent, where we sat down to drink and chat. The Judge, howand overflowing with the social wit and humor so charac-ever, did not seem disposed to be very sociable in spite of teristic of his countrymen, and withal, possessing a mind all of O'Toole's efforts. His dignity had been evidently of deep penetration, he was an excellent judge of human wounded; he had been touched in a tender part, had nature. In the course of our journey he told me he had been put down on a point of LAW-and that, too, in the promised an old acquaintance, a hunter, whom he occa- presence of those by whom he had been hitherto looked sionally visited for the sake of a week's shooting, to deupon as an oracle. 'Twas more than human nature could fend him in a suit that had been brought against him for endure. his participation "in a free fight," and in which he had come off ahead. Said he, "If you have never seen a trial in the backwoods there is some rare sport in store for you, and which only one fresh from the city can fully appreciate." As it did not take me out of the way, I readily consented to join him; and jogging on at an easy pace, letting our horses go pretty much as they pleased, in a few hours we came in view of a log cabin, before which several horses were fastened, and a little further on was to be seen another cabin of rather more prepossessing appearance. "There," " said O'Toole, "where you see the horses in front of the door, is the court-house, and I think the Judge (they are very jealous of the tule) must be already there, for it is later than I had any idea of," looking at his watch. As we drew near, several rough, good-natured looking fellows thronged to the door to greet us, and I found my friend was a great favorite with them all. After a hearty welcome, there was a loud rap within, and the court was called to order. Let me describe the room. At the upper end was placed a small rough pine desk, or table, about three feet square, and behind it sat a man apparently fifty years of age, of portly form, and with a broad, bald head, and cheeks so round and rosy that they seemed like two ripe apples. Nature gave him a mouth that was originally clothed with smiles, but which had evidently been screwed down to a becoming gravity more in accordance with the dignified position the possessor now occupied. A pair of dark, green spectacles, with wide silver bows, rested upon his forehead, and before him, on the small pine desk, was a much worn and dirty copy of "Blackstone's Commentaries." Upon a bench, directly in front of this grave and important personage, sat, in mute admiration, some half dozen stalwart fellows, each with a rifle resting on his arm, and a hunting dog curled upon the floor between his legs, and I soon seated myself upon a log that was placed on end directly back of this group The Court being called to order, the Judge gravely called upon the plaintiff to state his case, which he did in a very plain, wholesome manner, calling upon one of the half dozen on the forward bench to verify it, at every resting point Upon finishing, he was cross-questioned by O'Toole with all the gravity imaginable. The defendant then arose, and began to give his version o the case, but was interrupted by the Judge who asked him a question, which, had he answered truly would O'Toole soon saw how matters stood, and that his case was a desperate one, unless he could repair the wrong he had so carelessly inflicted; and therefore he said, “Now, Judge, you don't mean to say you intend giving the case against me, do you?" "Yes; you would not let Jones answer my question, and I shall therefore decide against you." "But," said O'Toole, as he winked to me, “if he answers you when the Court opens this afternoon, Judge?" "O, that would make a difference," said he gravely, "and I should then consider the question in a dizerent light." "After finishing our meal of corn bread and roast potatoes, we took another drink on O'Toole's proposing the health of his Honor, Judge B." The Judge looked very wise, and as pleased as he could without compromising his dignity, and we soon adjourned to the "Court-room." When the Court was opened, O'Toole arose, and fixing his eyes on the Judge, with a very grave face, he said in substance as follows: "Since this Court adjourned, your Honor, (placing great emphasis upon your Honor,) I have thought over the point of law in question this morning, and find that I was greatly mistaken, and entirely in the wrong; that your Honor was perfectly right, and that my client must answer any questions your Honor may see fit to put to him." His Honor bowed very complacently, and with much gravity repeated the question, and was immediately answered by the defendant, who fatally committed himself. The Judge, putting on the wide-bowed spectacles, began slowly to turn over the leaves of the volume before him, "Blackwood's Commentaries," and in a few minutes arose and said, that after weighing both sides of the question, both legally and morally, he gave his decision for the defendant. But at the same time, with a stern countenance, he warned him if he was ever brought up before him again, on a like charge, he would decide against him! CIRCULAR TO THE SMITHS, SPECIALLY JOHN. WE yield to the request of the respectable indvidual to publish the following circular to the universal Smith family in America. At the same time we deny any dispo sition on our part to give a "boost" into the acknowledged ranks of "codfish aristocracy" to every straggler whose "ignoble blood Has crept through scoundrels ever since the flood;" but the respectable "Sir John Smith" we consider fairly entitled to an honorable exception. He has acquired property, and has risen in the world; and having been seized with a laudable desire to climb his "old ancestral tree," in pursuit of family relics, with a view of forming a coat of arms to decorate the panel of his coach, we cheerfully give publicity to his quaint circular. Editor.] TO THE SMITH FAMILIES IN AMERICA. The subcriber, being desirous to collect the historical incidents pertaining to the numerous family, to which he is prou to belong, in order that what may be found therein of a valuable and worthy character may be published to the world, al in crder, moreover, that he may be able to collect and prepare ritable armorial bearings for the panel of his carriage, takes this method of asking of his kinsmen in America all the desired information. I have an indistinct recollection of having seen once, in the loft of my father's bern, a panel inscribed with a figure, evidently a baton of office, which profane observers pronounced a trowell, most likely from envy; beside this there was a segment of a circle, supposed to represent an Egyptian symbol, but I do not deny the common people perceived therein a horse-shoe--and various other symbols, too numerous to mention, wherein, I doubt not, great families' dignities were intimated. Now, this panel of which I speak was, without doubt, the remains of an an cient coach belonging to some one of the Smiths, although my son John, Junior-(his father having been John, grandfather likewise, thereby rendering our pedigree exceedingly difficult to reach,) my son John, I say, supposed he beheld in this venerable relic the side of what is technically called a monopede, or vulgarly a wheelbarrow. But this is owing to the irreverence of Juvenile America I find John Smith was one of the men who signalized themselves among the Indians, in the early settlement of the country, in Virginia. He was a mighty warrior, and an enterprising man in several ways. Prior to this John Schmidt, from a collateral branch in the Low Countries, had taken up his residence in Nieu-Nederlandt, otherwise New York. Joen Smigt had settled with the Swedes, in Connecticut, John Smythe in Pennsylvania, and Juan Smyt among the Spaniards of Florida. Indeed, I trace our family in each and all of the early Colonies, the name becoming modified by the people with whom they sojourned. I find the family was one of respect, and one of wealth. Indeed, by calculation I find that about one-tenth of the property of the country is in the hands of the John Smiths, and nearly half the honors thereof are divided among the same, so that an emulation exists to bear the cognomen of John Smith. Under these circumstances, I desire all persons bearing the name of Smith to address me, in the City of New York, post-paid, informing me as follows: What time did your ancestors come to this country? If sent, what procured them such distinguished honor? What profession did they follow? What trade or handicraft? Where did they settle themselves? How many were christened by the name of John? How many have distinguished themselves by notable deeds to which we would award family honors and distinctions? How many have distinguished themselves by means which we do not care to have bruited about? i JUDICIAL WIT.-Lord Bacon tells of his father, Sir Nich olas, that when appointed a Judge on the Northern Circuit, he was by one of the malefactors mightily importuned for to save his life; which, when nothing he had said did avail, he at length desired his mercy on account of kindred. "Prithee," said my Lord Judge, "how came that in?" "Why, if it please you, my lord, your name is Bacon and mine is Hog, and in all ages Hog and Bacon have been so near kindred that they are not to be separa"Aye, but," replied Lord Bacon, "you and I cannot be kindred, except you be hanged; for Hog is not Bacon until it is well hanged." ted." establishment, and, having looked at the handkerchiefs, constructed an out-and-out dromedary, and it is exhibited inquired the price. "Fifty cents apiece," politely replied the shopkeeper. "Very well," said the lady, "you may do me up a dozen "' nightly to crowds of delighted spectators. A spotted body, properly humped, and a well-manufactured head, propelled, as large as life, and three or four times as natural, by two men inside. Their legs only appear to the public as furnishing forth the animal's lower limbs, and nankeen pantaloons essentially assist the illusion. The camel is The handkerchiefs were cut off and delivered to the led in by a little fellow in flowing clothes and a turban, lady, who gave the shopkeeper a three-dollar bill. "Beg pardon, Madam; but I-ah-told you the handkerchiefs were fifty cents apiece; that is-ah-six dollars per dozen." "To be sure, I understood as much arithmetic as that. Six dollars is the price; half of six is three-that is half price I think they are cheap enough. Good day, Sir." The lady shut the door. The shopkeeper opened his eyes. For five minutes he stood still as a stump, gazing vacantly at the window; then, biting his lips, and coloring very red, he gently removed the card pinned to the hankerchiefs, and resolved to announce no more goods as "selling at half price." Sidney Smith says: "Most London dinners evap orate in whispers to one's next neighbor. I make it a rule never to speak to mine, but fire across the table; though I broke the rule once, when I heard a lady who sat next to me, in a low, sweet voice, say: "No gravy, Sir." I had never seen her before, but I turned suddenly around and said: "Madam, I have been looking all my life for a person who disliked gravy; let us swear eternal friendship." A GHOST IN LOVE.-An English paper relates the following story: A farmer who had lately become a widower, was aroused at midnight by the loud barking of his dog. On going to it the animal displayed extreme terror, whereupon the farmer took his gun and proceeded to an inspection. All at once he saw a phantom, clothed in a white who puts him through his paces in a highly accomplished manner, and whirls him finally off to the inspiriting music of a polka executed by the orchestra, the four legs keeping time in a correct measure. Just under the camel's head is a small window! Out of this window, while the show is going on and the points of the beast are being lustrated, suddenly issues the head of the man whose talents are developed in the hind legs! My God!' he says, what a role is this to put me into! The hind legs of a camel! Here, you keeper, give me a pinch of snuff, or I'll smother! Twouldn't be so bad if I had a decent man in the fore legs--but he's a bete, and stupid, andsint got no conversational powers, and smells disagreeably when he's warm! What a devlish piece to be sure, and I suppose it will have a great run just my luck! Keep me swinging this infernal tail for a fortnight! And in goes his head as suddenly as it came out, as the keeper raps the hind parts of the camel, and the polka commences. This, with the explanations of the keeper, which are ridiculous beyond expression, keep up a perfect roar of laughter, but more consummate nonsense cannot be imagined. WIT OF CHARLES LAMB.-The inimitable English essayist spent a large portion of his life as a clerk in the employment of the East India Company. The regular routine of clerkly business ill-suited the literary taste and wayward though innocent habits of our author. Once, at the India House, one in authority said to him: "I have remarked, Mr. Lamb, that you are very late n the morning." "Yes, sir," replied the wit, "but I gɔ away early in the afternoon." The oddness of the excuse silenced the reprover, who turned away with a smile. our possession.] AN IRISH SAILOR'S FRAYER.-An honest Hibernian tar, who was a great favorite with the gallant Nelson, used to pray in these words every night when he went to his hammock: "God be thanked I never killed a man, nor no man God bless the world, and success to the sheet, rise behind the hedge. The farmer turned deadly From the cabin scrap-book of a British zaval officer, in pale, and his limbs shook with dismay. He, however, contrived to ejaculate: If you come from God, speak; if from the devil, vanish!" "Wretch exclaimed the phantom, I am your deceased wife. come from the grave to warn you not to marry Maria A, to whom you are making love. The only woman to succeed me is Henrietta B. Marry her, or persecution and eternal torment shall be your doom!" This strange address from the goblin, instead of dismaying the farmer, restored his courage He accordingly rushed on the ghostly visitor, and, stripping off its sheet, discovered the fair Henrietta B herself, looking extremely foolish. It is said that the farmer, admiring the girl's trick, has had the banns published for his marriage with her. Judge Kellogg, a venerable citizen of Michigan, arrived in Washington last week. It was his first visit to the Federal Capital and when the cars stopped he was a little uncertain where he was; hut as he noticed that all the passengers were leaving the cars, he followed suit. As he entered the main hall of the depot, he saw a man engaged in caning another ferociously all over the room. "When I saw that," says the Judge, "I knew I was in Washington immediately." PLAYING THE HIND LEGS OF A CAMEL.-The Paris corre spondent of the Boston Post tells the following funny story: "The man that plays the hind legs of the camel at the Folies Nouvelles Theater is just now the most talked-of individual in Paris. The circus has its elephants which ⚫ stand on their heads, and gesticulate with their trunks. and gambol in various massive ways; and there are wild beast shows without number throughout the city. So the Folies Nouvelles, always up to the mark, caused to be ever killed me. [From the same } ENGLISH INCOME TAX.-The following curious return was made to the Commissioners of the Income Tax, in the year 1801, at Shrewsbury. "I, A B- do declare, I have but little money to s] are; 1 little house, 1 little maid, 2 little boys, 2 little trade, 2 little land, 2 do. money to command. I have children three [From the same.] THE OLD MAN'S ANSWER TO THE COLLEGE BOYS.-Three students of Eton College were walking together one day, when they met an old man on the road, and wishing to pass a joke upon him, the first said: "Good morning, Father Abraham " the second said, "Good morning, Father Isaac ;" the third said, "Good morning. Father Jacob." The old man looked at them gravely, and replied, "I am neither Abraham, nor Isaac, nor Jacob. but Saul, the son of Kish, seeking his father's asses, and, lo! he has found them." MANKIND had been plodding for centuries on, But a change was at hand-on a far distant shore Yet the world gave no thought to the fast-growing boy. 'Till it rang like a clarion over the sea- The cheek of Oppression grew pale at the cry, And he openly vowed that the youngster should die. "Fine fashions, indeed," cried the dotard in rage, "When a boy in his teens gets ahead of the age!"— But the Yankee laughed slyly the panic to see, And shouted still louder, "Lo, all men are free!" "LO, ALL MEN ARE FREE!" answered valley and plain And the old hoary mountains re-echoed again. The winds caught the sound, and afar o'er the wave |