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John. In her own room, sir. Honey. Tell her to come here--and lark ye, John! while Mr. Ledger stays, I am not at home to any body else.
[Exit John. Ledg. Not at home !—are those your ways?-If I was to give such a message to my servant, I should expect a commission of bankruptoy out against me the next day.
Honey. Ay, you men of large dealings-it was so with me, when I was in business. -But where's this girl? what can she be aboat?- -My beauty, do slep yourself, and send her here immediately.
Mrs. H. I will, my sweeting !-Mr. Ledger, your servant!--B'ye, dearest!
[Exit. Honey. Ha, ha! you see, Mr. Ledger! you see what you are to come to--but I beg pardon-I quite forgot -have you breakfasted?
Ledg. Breakfasted! ay, four hours ago, and done an hundred tickets since, over a dish of coffee, at Jonathan's. Let me see, [Pulling out his Watch] bless my soul, it's eleven o'clock! I wish miss would come.It's transfer-day.-I must be at the bank, before twelve, without fail. Honey. Oh, here she comes.
Enter POLLY. Come, child! where have you been all this time? Well, sir, I'll leave you together.--Polly, you'llba, ha, ha!Your servant, Mr. Ledger, your servant! [Erit. Polly and Ledger remain—they stand at a
great Distance from each other. Polly. [Aside] What a monster of a man!- -Wbat will the frightful creature say to me!--I am now, for all the world, just in the situation of poor Clarissa, ---and the wretch is ten times uglier than Soames himself.
Ledg. Well, miss!
Polly. [Aside] He speaks! what shall I say to him? -Suppose I have a litile sport with him.- I will. I'll indulge myself with a few airs of distant flirtation at
first, and then treat him like a dog. I'll use him worse than Nancy Howe ever did Mr. Hickman.---Pray, sir, [To Ledger] did you ever read the History of Emilia?
Ledg. Not I, miss, not I.-I have no time to think of such things, not 1.-1 bardly ever read any thing, except the Daily Advertiser, or the List at Lloyd'snor write neither, except it's my name now and thenI keep a dozen clerks for nothing in the world else but to write.
Polly. A dozen clerks!-Prodigious !
Ledg. Ay, a dozen clerks. Business must be done, miss !--We have large returns, and the balance must be kept on the right side you know.--In regard to last year now--Our returns from the first of January to the last of December, fifty-nine, were to the amount of sixty thousand pounds sterling. We clear, upon an average, al the rate of twelve per cent. the twelves in sixty thousand, and you may make a pretty good guess at our net profits.
Polly. Net profits !
Ledg. Ay, miss, net profils—Simeon and Ledger are names as well known as any in the Alley, and good for as much at the bottom of a piece of
paper.maller for that ---- you must know that I have an account to seltle with you, miss.-You're on the debtor side in my books, I can tell you, miss.
Polly. In your debt, Mr. Ledger!
Polly. I hate to be in debt of all thingsme discharge you at once--for I can'i endure to be donn'd.
Ledg. Not so fast, miss! nol so fast. Right reckoning makes long friends- -Suppose now
we should compound this matter, and strike a balance in favour of both parties.
Polly. How d’ye mean? Mr. Ledger !!
Ledg. Why then, in plain English, miss, I love your --I'll marry you—My uncle Simeon and Mr. Honeycombe have settled the inatter belween them
-I am foud of the matol—and hope you are the saine--There's the sum total.
-pray let Polly. Is it possible that I can have any charms for Mr. Ledger?
Ledg. Charms! miss; you are all over charms.-I like you, I like your person, your family, your fortune I like you altogether--the Omniums-Eh, miss!
-I like the Omniums—and don't care how large a premiom I give for them.
Polly. Lord, sir!
Ledg. Come, miss, let's both set our hands to it, and sign and seal the agreement, without loss of time or hindrance of business.
Polly. Not so fast, sir, not so fast.-Right reckoning makes long friends, you know—Mr. Ledger!
Polly. After so explicit and polite a declaration on your part, you will expect, no doubt, some suitable retorns on mine.
Ledg. To be sure, miss, to be sure—ay, ay, let's examine the per contra.
Polly. What you have said, Mr. Ledger, has, I take it for granted, been very sincere.
Ledg. Very sincere, upon iny credit, miss !
Polly. For my part thien, I'must declare, however unwillingly
Ledg. Out with it, miss!
Polly. That the passion I entertain for you is equally strong
Ledg. Oh brave!
Polly. Your sight is shocking to me, your conversation odious, and your passion contemptible-
Ledg. Mighty well, miss, mighty well!
Polly. You are a vile book of arithmetic, a table of pounds, shillings, and pence-You are uglier than a figure of eight, and more tiresome than the multiplication-table. There's the sum total.
Ledg. Very fine, very fine, miss!--Mr. Honeycombe shall know this. He'll bring you below par again, 1 warrant you.
[Exit. Polly. Ha, ha, ha!--There he goes ! -Ha, ha, ha! I have ont-topped them all-Miss Howe, Narcissa, Clarinda, Polly Barnes, Sophy Willis, and all of them. None of them ever treated an odious fellow with half so much spirit.—– This would make an excellent chapter in a new novel.- -But here comes papa-in a violent passion, no doubt.--No matter. --It will only furnish materials for the next chapter.
Enter HONEYCOMBE. Honey. What is the meaning of this extraordinary behaviour? How dare you treat Mr. Ledger so ill, and behave so undatifully to your papa and mamma?-You are a spoilt child-Your mamma and I have been too fond of your
Polly. Lord! papa, how can you be so angry with me?
-I am as dutiful as any girl in the world.But there's always an uproar in the family about marrying the daughter; and now poor I must suffer in my turn.
Honey. Hark ye, miss !-Why did not you receive Mr. Ledger as your lover? Polly. Lover!
-Oh, dear papa! he has no more of a lover about him! He never so much as cast one Janguishing look towards me, never once prest my hand, or struck his breast, or threw himself at my feet, or
-Lord! I read such a delightful declaration of love in the new novel this morning! First, papa, sir George Trueman
Honey. Devil take sir George Trueman!hese cursed novels have turned the girl's head-misn't Mr. Ledger a husband of your papa and mami e's providing? and ar'n't they the properest persons to dispose of you?
Polly. Dispose of ine! See there now!-Why you have no notion of these things, papa !--Your head's so full of trade and commerce, thai you would dispose of your daughter like a piece of merchandise-But my
Whenever a poor
heart is my own property, and at nobody's disposal but my own.--Sure, you would not consign me, like a bale of silk, lo Ledger and Co.-Eh! papa!
Honey. Her impudence amazes me.-You're an ondutiful
Polly. Not at all undutiful, papa!- -But I hate Mr. Ledger.--I can't endure the sight of bim-Nay more; to tell you the whole truth, my heart is devoted to another. I bave an insoperable passion for him; and nothing shall shake my affection for my dear Mr. Scribble.
Honey. Mr. Scribble!-Who's Mr. Scribble?-I'll turn you out of doors.--I'll have you confin'd to your chamber--Get out of my sight - I'll have you lock'd up this instant.
Polly. Lock'd ap! I thought so. girl refuses to marry any horrid creature her parents provide for ber, then she's to be lock'd up inmediately.
-Poor Clarissa! Poor Sophy Western! I am now going to be trealed just as you have been before me.
Honey. Those abominable books!--But you shall have no more novels–Get along, I say–No pen and ink to scrawl letters--Why don't you go?
---Nor no trusty companion.- Get along-l'll have you lock'd
this instant, and the key of your chamber shall be in your mamma's custody.
Polly. Indeed, papa, you need not give my mamma so much trouble.
( bave Honey. Get along, I say.
Polly. I have read of such things as ladders of ropes
Honey. Out of my sight!
Polly. Or of escaping out of the window, by lying the sheets together --Or of throwing one's-self into the street upon a feather-bed
Honey. I'll turn you out of doors--