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I'll keep

Miss Hardcastle. I never knew half his merit from the tree. I was never so happy before. My ill now. He shall not go, if I have power or art to boy takes after his father, poor Mr. Lumpkin, exdetain him. I'll still preserve the character in actly. The jewels, my dear Con, shall be yours which I stooped to conquer, but will undeceive my incontinently. You shall have them. Isn't he a papa, who, perhaps, may laugh him out of his sweet boy, my dear? You shall be married toresolution.

(Exit. morrow, and we'll put off the rest of his education,

like Dr. Drowsy's sermons, to a fitter opportunity. Enter TONY, MISS NEVILLE. Tony. Ay, you may steal for yourselves the next time. I have done my duty. She has got the jewels again, that's a sure thing; but she believes Diggory. Where's the 'Squire? I have got a let. it was all a mistake of the servants.

ter for your worship. Miss Nerille. But my dear cousin, sure you Tony. Give it to my mamma. She reads all my won't forsake us in this distress? If she in the least letters first. suspects that I am going off, I shall certainly be Diggory. I had orders to deliver it into your locked up, or sent to my aunt Pedigree's which is own hands. ten times worse.

Tony. Who does it come from? Tony. To be sure, aunts of all kinds are damn Diggory. Your worship mun ask that o' the ed bad things. But what can I do? I have got letter itself. you a pair of horses that will fly like Whistle Tony. I could wish to know though. jacket; and I'm sure you can't say but I have court [Turning the letter and gazing on it. ed you nicely before her face. Here she comes, Miss Neville (aside). Undone! undone! A let. we must court a bit or two more, for fear she ter to him from Hastings. I know the hand. If should suspect us.

my aunt sees it, we are ruined for ever, ( They retire, and seem to fondle. her employed a little if I can. [To Mrs. Hard

castle.) But I have not told you, madam, of my Enter MRS. HARDCASTLE.

cousin's smart answer just now to Mr. Marlow. Mrs. Hardcastle. Well, I was greatly fluttered We so laughed—You must know, madam—This to be sure. But my son tells me it was all a mis- way a little, for he must not hear us. take of the servants. I shan't be easy, however,

(They confer. till they are fairly married, and then let her keep Tony (still gazing). A damned cramp piece of her own fortune. But what do I see ? fondling penmanship, as ever I saw in my life. I can read together as I'm alive. I never saw Tony so spright- your print hand very well. But here there are ly before. Ah! have I caught you my pretty such handles, and shanks, and dashes, that one Joves ? What! billing, exchanging stolen glances can scarce tell the head from the tail. " To Anand broken murmurs? Ah!

thony Lumpkin, esquire.” It's very odd, I can Tony. As for murmurs, mother, we grumble read the outside of my letters, where my own name a little now and then to be sure. But there's no is, well enough. But when I come to open it, it's love lost between us.

all-buzz. That's hard, very hard; for the inMrs. Hardcastle. A mere sprinkling, Tony, side of the letter is always the cream of the corupon the flame, only to make it burn brighter. respondence. Miss Neville. Cousin Tony promises to give us

Mrs. Hardcastle. Ha! ha! ha! Very well, very more of his company at home. Indeed, he shan't well. And so my son was too hard for the phileave us any more. It won't leave us, cousin To- losopher. ny, will it?

Miss Neville. Yes, madam; but you must hear Tony. O! it's a pretty creature. No, I'd sooner the rest, madam. A little more this way, or he leave my horse in a pound, than leave you when you may hear us. You'll hear how he puzzled him smile upon one so. Your laugh makes you so be- again. coming.

Mrs. Hardcastle. He scems strangely puzzled Miss Neville. Agreeable cousin! Who can help now himself, methinks. admiring that natural humour, that pleasant, broad, Tony (still gazing). A damned up and down red, thoughtless, –{patting his cheek] ah! it's a hand, as if it was disguised in liquor. (Reading.) bold face.

Dear sir,—Ay, that's that. Then there's an M, Mrs. Hardcastle. Pretty innocence!

and a T, and an S, but whether the next be an Tony. I'm sure I always loved cousin Con's izzard, or an R, confound me, I can not tell. hazel eyes, and her pretty long fingers, that she

Mrs. Hardcastle. What's that, my dear? Can Swists this way and that over the haspicolls, like a I give you any assistance ? parcel of bobbins.

Miss Neville. Pray, aunt, let me read it. No Mrs. Hardcastle. Ay, he would charın the bird body reads a cramp hand better than I. ( Twitch


ing the letter from him.) Do you know who it

Enter HASTINGS. is from? Tony. Can't tell, except from Dick Ginger, the

Hastings. So, sir, I find by my servantthat feeder.

you have shown my letter, and betrayed us. Was Miss Neville. Ay, so it is. (Pretending to this well done, young gentleman ? read.] Dear 'Squire, hoping that your’e in health, Tony. Here's another. Ask miss there, who as I am at this present. The gentlemen of the betrayed you? Ecod, it was her doing, not mine. Shake-bag club has cut the gentlemen of the

Enter MARLOW. Goose-green quite out of feather. The odds

-odd battle -um-long fighting-um Marlond. So I have been finely used here among - here, here, it's all about cocks and fighting; it's you. Rendered contemptible, driven into ill-man of no consequence, here, put it up, put it

up ners, despised, insulted, laughed at. (Thrusting the crumpled letter upon him.) Tony. Here's another. We shall have old Bed.

Tony. But I tell you, miss, it's of all the conse- lam broke loose presently. quence in the world. I would not lose the rest of Miss Neville. And there, sir, is the gentlemer: it for a guinea. Here, mother, do you make it to whom we all owe every obligation. out. Of no consequence !

Marlow. What can I say to him? a mere boy, [Giving Mrs. Hardcustle the letter. an idiot, whose ignorance and age are a protection. Mrs. Hardcastle. How's this! (Reads.) “Dear Hastings. A poor contemptible booby, that 'Squire, I'm now waiting for Miss Neville, with a would but disgrace correction. post-chaise and pair at the bottom of the garden, Miss Nerille. Yet with cunning and malice but I find my horses yet unable to perform the enough to make himself merry with all our embarjourney. I expect you'll assist us with a pair of rassments. fresh horses, as you promised. Dispatch is neces Hastings. An insensible cub. sary, as the hag (ay, the hag) your mother will Marlow. Replete with tricks and mischief. otherwise suspect us. Yours, Hastings." Grant Tony. Baw! dam’me, but I'll fight you both, me patience: I shall run distracted! My rage one after the other—with baskets. chokes me.

Marlow. As for him, he's below resentment. Miss Neville. I hope, madam, you'll suspend But your conduct, Mr. Hastings, requires an ex. your resentment for a few moments, and not im- planation : you knew of my mistakes, yet would pute to me any impertinence, or sinister design, not undeceive me. that belongs to another.

Hastings. Tortured as I am with my own disMrs. Hardcastle (courtesying very low). Fine appointments, is this a time for explanations ? It spoken madam, you are most miraculously polite is not friendly, Mr. Marlow. and engaging, and quite the very pink of courtesy Marlow. But, sirand circumspection, madam. [Changing her Miss Neville. Mr. Marlow, we never kept on tone.) And you, you great ill-fashioned oaf, with your mistake, till it was too late to undeceive you. scarce sense enough to keep your mouth shut:

Enter SERVANT. were you, too, joined against me? But I'll defeat all your plots in a moment.

As for you, ma

Servant. My mistress desires you'll get ready dam, since you have got a pair of fresh horses immediately, madam. The horses are putting to. ready, it would be cruel to disappoint them. So, Your hat and things are in the next room. We if you please, instead of running away with your are to go thirty miles before morning. spark, prepare, this very moment, to run off with

(Exit Servant. Your old aunt Pedigree will keep you se Miss Neville. Well, well; l'll come presently. cure, I'll warrant me. You too, sir, may mount Marlou (to Hastings). Was it well done, sir, vour horse, and guard us upon the way. Here, to assist in rendering me ridiculous ? To hang me Thomas, Roger, Diggory! I'll show you, that I wish out for the scorn of all my acquaintance ? Depend you better than you do yourselves. (Exit. upon it, sir, I chall expect an explanation.

Miss Nerille. So now I'm completely ruined. Hastings. Was it well done, sir, if you're upon Tony. Ay, that's a sure thing.

chat subject, to deliver what I intrusted to yourself, Miss Nerille. What better could be expected to the care of another, sir ? from being connected with such a stupid fool,—and Miss Neville. Mr. Hastings. Mr. Marlow. after all the nods and signs I made him? Why will you increase my distress by this ground

Tony. By the laws, miss, it was your own less dispute? I implore, I entreat youcleverness, and not my stupidity, that did your business. You were so nice and so busy with your

Enter SERVANT. Shake-bags and Goose-greens, that I thought you Servant. Your cloak, madam. My mistress is could never be making believe.


(Erit Servant.


support this?


Miss Neville. I come Pray be pacified. If Il

Enter SIR CHARLES and HARDCASTLE. i save you thus, I shall die with apprehension.

Hardcastle. Ha! ha! ha! The peremptory tone Enter SERVANT.

in which he sent forth his sublime commands! Serdant. Your fan, muff, and gloves, madam. Sir Charles. And the reserve with which I supThe horses are waiting.

pose he treated all your advances. Miss Neville, 0, Mr. Marlow, if you knew Hardcastle. And yet he might have seen somewhat a scene of constraint and ill-nature lies before thing in me above a common innkeeper, too. me, I am sure it would convert your resentment Sir Charles. Yes, Dick, but he mistook you for into pity.

an uncommon innkeeper; ha! ha! ha! Marlo. I'm so distracted with a variety of pas Hardcastle. Well, I'm in too good spirits to sions, that I don't know what I do. Forgive me, think of any thing but joy. Yes, my dear friend, madam. George, forgive me. You know my this union of our families will make our personal hasty temper, and should not exasperate it. friendships hereditary, and though my daughter's

Hastings. The torture of my situation is my fortune is but smallonly excuse.

Sir Charles. Why, Dick, will you talk of forMiss Neville. Well, my dear Hastings, if you tune to me? My son is possessed of more than a have that esteem for me that I think, that I am competence already, and can want nothing but a sure you have, your constancy for three years will good and virtuous girl to share his happiness, and but increase the happiness of our future connexion. increase it. If they like each other, as you say 11

they do Mrs. Hardcastle (within). Miss Neville. Con Hardcastle. If, man! I tell you they do like each stance, why Constance, I say.

other. My daughter as good as told me so. Miss Neville. I'm coming. Well, constancy, Sir Charles. But girls are apt to flatter themremember, constancy is the word. (Exit. selves, you know. Hastings. My heart! how can I

Hardcastle. I saw him grasp her hand in the To be so near happiness, and such happiness! warmest manner myself; and here he comes to put

Marlow (to Tony). You see now, young gen- you out of your ifs, I warrant him. tleman, the effects of your folly. What might be amusement to you, is here disappointment, and even distress,

Marlou. I come, sir, once more, to ask pardon Tony (from a reverie). Ecod, I have hit it: for my strange conduct. I can scarce reflect on it's here. Your hands. Yours and yours, my my insolence without confusion. poor Sulky.-My boots there, ho!—Meet me two Hardcastle. Tut, boy, a trifle. You take it too hours hence at the bottom of the garden; and if gravely. An hour or two's laughing with my you don't find Tony Lumpkin a more good-na- daughter will set all to rights again. She'll never tured fellow than you thought for, I'll give you like you the worse for it. leave to take my best horse, and Bet Bouncer into Marlow. Sir, I shall be always proud of her ap. the bargain. Come along. My boots, ho!

probation. (Eseunt. Hardcastle. Approbation is but a cold word, Mr.

Marlow; if I am not ceived, you have something more than approbation thereabouts. You take me?

Marlow. Really, sir, I have not that happiness. ACT V.

Hardcastle. Come, boy, I'm an old fellow, and

know what's what as well as you that are youngEnter HASTINGS and SERVANT.

er. I know what has passed between you: but Hastings. You saw the old lady and Miss Ne- mum. ville drive off, you say?

Marlow, Sure, sir, nothing has passed between Sercant. Yes, your honour. They went off in us but the most profound respect on my side, and a post-coach, and the young 'Squire went on horse- the most distant reserve on hers. You don't think back. They're thirty miles off by this time. sir, that my impudence has been passed on all the

Hastings. Then all my hopes are over. rest of the family?

Sertant. Yes, sir. Old Sir Charles is arrived. Hardcastle. Impudence ! No, I don't say that He and the old gentleman of the house have been not quite impudence—though girls like to be playlaughing at Mr. Marlow's mistake this half hour. ed with, and rumpled a little too, sometimes. But They are coming this way.

she has told no tales, I assure you. Hastings. Then I must not be seen. So now Marlow. I never gave her the slightest cause. to my fruitless appointment at the bottom of the Hardcastle. Well, well, I like modesty in its garden. This is about the time.

place well enough. But this is over-acting, young



gentleman. You may be open. Your father and Miss Hardcastle. As most professed admirers I will like you the better for it.

do: said some civil things of my face; talked mucb Marlow. May I die, sir, if I ever

of his want of merit, and the greatness of mine ; Hardcastle. I tell you, she don't dislike you ; and mentioned his heart, gave a short tragedy speech, as I'm sure you like her

and ended with pretended rapture. Marlow. Dear sir-I protest, sir

Sir Charles. Now I'm perfectly convinced inHardcastle. I see no reason why you should deed. I know his conversation among women to not be joined as fast as the parson can tie you. be modest and submissive : this forward canting Marlow. But hear me, sir

ranting manner by no means describe him; and I Hardcastle. Your father approves the match, I am confident, he never sat for the picture. admire it; every moment's delay will be doing Miss Hardcastle. Then, what, sir, if I should mischiel, som

convince you to your face of my sincerity ? if you Marlow. But why won't you hear me ? By all and my papa, in about half an hour, will place that's just and true, I never gave Miss Hardcastle yourselves behind that screen, you shall hear him the slightest mark of my attachment, or even the declare his passion to me in person. most distant hint to suspect me of affection. We Sir Charles. Agreed. And if I find him what had but one interview, and that was formal, mod- you describe, all my happiness in him must have est, and uninteresting.

an end.

[Erit. Hardcastle (aside). This fellow's formal modest Miss Hardcastle. And if you don't find him impudence is beyond bearing.

what I describe-I fear my happiness must never Sir Charles. And you never grasped her hand, have a beginning.

(Exeunt. or made any protestations ?

Marlow. As Heaven is my witness, I came down in obedience to your commands; I saw the lady without emotion, and parted without reluctance. I hope you'll exact no further proofs of my duty, nor prevent me from leaving a house in which I suffer

Hastings. What an idiot am I, to wait here so many mortifications.

(Exit. for a fellow who probably takes a delight in mortiSir Charles. l'm astonished at the air of sin. fying me. He never intended to be punctual, and cerity with which he parted.

I'll wait no longer. What do I see? It is he! Hardcastle. And I'm astonished at the delibe- and perhaps with news of my Constance. rate intrepidity of his assurance.

Enter TONY, booted and spattered. Sir Charles. I dare pledge my life and honour upon his truth.

Hastings. My honest 'Squire! I now find Hardcastle. Here comes my daughter, and l you a man of your word. This looks like friendwould stake my happiness upon her veracity. ship.

Tony. Ay, I'm your friend, and the best friend Enter MISS HARDCASTLE.

you have in the world, if you knew but all. This Hardcastle. Kate, come hither, child. Answer riding by night, by the by, is cursedly tiresome. It us sincerely and without reserve: has Mr. Marlow has shook me worse than the basket of a stagemade you any professions of love and affection? coach.

Miss Hardcastle. The question is very abrupt, Hastings. But how? where did you leave your sir! But since you require unreserved sincerity, 1 fellow-travellers? Are they in safety? Are they think he has.

housed? Hardcastle (to Sir Charles). You see.

Tony. Five and twenty miles in two hours and Sir Charles. And pray, madam, have you and a half is no such bad driving. The poor beasts my son had more than one interview?

have smoked for it: Rabbit me, but I'd rather ride Miss Hardcastle. Yes, sir, several.

forty miles after a fox than ten with such varment, Hardcastle (to Sir Charles). You see, | Hastings. Well, but where have you left the

Sir Charles. But did he profess any attach- ladies? I die with impatience. ment?

Tony. Left them! Why where should I leave Miss Hardcastle. A lasting one.

them but where I four them. Sir Charles. Did he talk of love?

Hastings. This is a riddle. Miss Hardcastle. Much, sir.

Tony. Riddle me this then. What's that goes Sir Charles. Amazing! and all this formally. round the house, and round the house, and never Miss Hardcastle. Formally.

touches the house ? Hardcastle. Now, my friend, I hope you are Hastings. I'm still astray. matistied.

Tony. Why, that's it, mon. I have led them Sir Charles. And how did he behave, madam ? astray. By jingo, there's not a pond or a slougts

within five miles of the place but they can tell the safraid.—Is that a man that's galloping behind us? taste of.

No; it's only a tree.—Don't be afraid. Hastings. Ha! ha! ha! I understand: you Mrs. Hardcastle. The fright will certainly kill took them in a round, while they supposed them- me. selves going forward and so you have at last Tony. Do you see any thing like a black hat orought them home again.

moving behind the thicket? Tony. You shall hear. I first took them down Mrs. Hardcastle. Oh, death! Feather-Bed-Lane, where we stuck fast in the Tony. No; it's only a cow. Don't be afraid, nud.--I then rattled them crack over the stones of mamma, don't be afraid. Up-and-down Hill.—I then introduced them to Mrs. Hardcastle. As I'm alive, Tony, I see a the gibbet on Heavy-Tree Heath; and from that, man coming towards us. Ah! I'm sure on't. If with a circumbendibus, 1 fairly lodged them in the he perceives us we are undone. horse-pond at the bottom of the garden.

Tony (aside). Father-in-law, by all that's unHastings. But no accident, I hope ? lucky, come to take one of his night walks. (To

Tony. No, no, only mother is confoundedly her] Ah! it's a highwayman with pistols as long frightened. She thinks herself forty miles off. as my arm. A damn'd ill-looking fellow. She's sick of the journey; and the cattle can Mrs. Hardcastle. Good Heaven defend us! He scarce crawl. So if your own horses be ready, approaches.. you may whip off with cousin, and I'll be bound Tony. Do you hide yourself in that thicket, and that no soul here can budge a foot to follow you. leave me to manage him. If there be any danger,

Hastings My dear friend, how can I be I'll cough, and cry hem. When I cough, be sure grateful?

to keep close. Tony. Ay, now it's dear friend, noble 'Squire.

(Mrs. Hardcastle hides behind a tree in Just now, it was all idiot, cub, and run me through

the back scene. the guts. Damn your way of fighting, I say.

Enter HARDCASTLE. After we take a knock in this part of the country, we kiss and be friends. But if you had run me

Hardcastle. I'm mistaken, or I heard voices of through the guts, then I should be dead, and you people in want of help. Oh, Tony, is that you? I might go kiss the hangman.

did not expect you so soon back. Are your moHastings. The rebuke is just. But I must ther and her charge in safety ? hasten to relieve Miss Neville : if you keep the

Tony. Very safe, sir, at my aunt Pedigree's. old lady employed, I promise to take care of the Hem. young one.

Mrs. Kardcastle (from behind). Ah, death! I Tony. Never fear me. Here she comes. Va- find there's danger. nish! (Erit Hastings.) She's got from the ponch

Hardcastle. Forty miles in three hours; sure and draggled up to the waist like a mermaid.

that's too much, my youngster.

Tony. Stout horses and willing minds make

short journeys, as they say. Hem. Mrs. Hardcastle. Oh, Tony, I'm killed ! Shook! Mrs. Hardcastle (from behind). Sure he'll do Battered to death. I shall never survive it. That the dear boy no harm. last jolt, that laid us against the quickset hedge, Hardcastle. But I heard a voice here; I should has done my business.

be glad to know from whence it came. Tony. Alack, mamma, it was all your own Tony. It was I, sir, talking to myself, sir. I was fault. You would be for running away by night, saying that forty miles in four hours was very good without knowing one inch of the way. going. Hem. As to be sure it was. Hem. I

Mrs. Hardcastle. I wish we were at home have got a sort of cold by being out in the air. again. I never met so many accidents in so short We'll go in if you please. Hem. a journey. Drenched in the mud, overturned in a Hardcastle. But if you talked to yourself you ditch, stuck fast in a slough, jolted to a jelly, and did not answer yourself. I'm certain I heard two at last to lose our way. Whereabouts do you think voices, and am resolved (raising his voice] to find we are, Tony?

the other out. Tony. By my guess we should come upon Mrs. Hardcastle (from behind). Oh! he's Crackskull Common, about forty miles from home. coming to find me out. Oh!

Mrs. Hardcastle. O lud! O lud! The most Tony. What need you go, sir, if I tell you? notorious spot in all the country. We only want Hem. I'll lay down my life for the trutlı-hema robbery to make a complete night on't. I'll tell you all, sir.

[Detuining him. Tony. Don't be afrai«, mamma, don't be Hardcastle. I tell you I will not be detained. I afraid. Two of the five that kept here are hanged, insist on seeing. It's in vain to expect I'll believe and the other three may not find us.

Don't be you.


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