ÆäÀÌÁö À̹ÌÁö
PDF
ePub
[merged small][ocr errors]

ACCOUNT OF THE MOTLEY SOCIETY.

SIR, THE object of the present is to give you some short account of a society to which I belong, and of which I am president, as I hope and trust it will not prove uninteresting to you and your readers.

We call ourselves by the name of "The Motley Society," because, as our chief object is to make discoveries of all kinds, we think it proper to admit people of all sorts, ranks, and denominations, in order that we may meet with the greater variety of opinions. It was established about six months ago, and already consists of upwards of fifty members, of some of the most conspicuous of which I shall now proceed to give you an

account.

The first on the list, sir, is your humble servant; of whom, you must excuse me, if I take no farther notice, except that I am universally allowed to be the cleverest fellow among them, and am consequently treated with all due deference and respect.

The next is an old officer, by name Captain Grumble, who, early in life, ran away from his guardian, and entered into the regiment of foot. By degrees he was promoted to the rank of captain, not on account of any merits of his own, as he was never present at any engagement, having purposely fallen ill six times to avoid fighting; but, because the officers above him having nobly lost their lives in the service of their country, he stepped into their places as a matter of course. However, he himself takes care to tell us, that it was in consequence of his having performed prodigious feats of valour at the dreadful battle of Soon after his

last promotion a peace was concluded, and as no more vacancies took place in his regiment for the space of six months, he advanced not a step higher, and immediately fancied that his valuable services had been overlooked, and accordingly left the army in disgust, and has ever since been living upon half-pay. He is always boasting of his heroism; but, very fortunately, has so bad a memory, that he never recollects the

names of places where these said deeds, "surpassing human knowledge," were performed; thus rendering it impossible for us absolutely to deny them, by producing proof to the contrary. He is, moreover, very obstinate, very fond of contradiction, and cannot bear being contradicted himself. However, we manage to keep him in tolerable order, by every now and then threatening to horsewhip him, as he is a most thorough coward.

Mr. Hubble-Dubble is another of our members. This gentleman places his whole delight in filling his stomach, (which by the bye is a very capacious one,) and merely belongs to our society for the purpose of passing away the leisure time between tea and supper. He sits and smokes the whole evening, and like the philosophers of old, says little, but, contrary to their practice, thinks less. The only subject he can discourse upon is eating and drinking, and if once he gets upon this topic, it is difficult to make him stop.

Our next member is Mr. Stiff, a linen-draper by birth, and buck by profession. He merely associates with us "low born beings" for the purpose of having a quiz, and during the whole time of our meeting, (which lasts three hours) is occupied in adjusting his shirt collar, and surveying himself from top to toe, always taking care to place himself directly opposite a large glass, which reaches from the ceiling to the floor of the room.

These, sir, are among the most conspicuous characters; and the rest consist of a wit, a lawyer, a hatter, a coal-heaver, a barge-man, a lamplighter, a butler, a footman, a Jew, a Turk, &c. &c. whom I may perhaps introduce to your notice at a future period.

The following are our rules and regulations:

1. That every member subscribe what he likes, not less than one half-penny, or more than ten-pence three farthings.

2. That no person whatsoever be refused admittance into the society who wishes to become a member.

3. But that, in order to prevent disputes, no two people of the same trade or profession be admitted.

4. That no member speak like an orator, making use of the figures of rhetoric, but express himself as clearly, and in as few words as possible, as the object of the society is utility alone.

5. That every member speak sitting cross-legged, holding his left foot in his right hand.

6. That no strangers be admitted, for fear they should be tempted to laugh, and accordingly be kicked out of the room.

I shall conclude this letter merely by observing, that I hope my delineation of their characters will give you and your readers as much pleasure, as the originals have done, and still do afford to, sir, your humble servant, HUMILIS.

DETACHED THOUGHTS.

"THE real lamp of Aladdin is that on the merchant's desk. All the genii, white, olive, or black, who people the atmosphere of earth, it puts in motion at the antipodes. It builds palaces in the wilderness, and cities in the forest; and collects every splendour, and every refinement of luxury, from the fingers of subservient toil. Kings of the east are slaves of the lamp: the winds blow, the seas roll, only to work the behest of

its master.

"If, in works of fine literature, there be a deficiency of taste and genius, the critic has a right to complain; if, in historical and scientific compilations, he discovers a want of research and a want of industry, he is justified in resenting it as a want of honesty; but, in works, where the author comes forward with an account of what he has himself seen in distant countries, if he finds any new information, instead of cavilling at the manner in which it may be conveyed, he ought to learn and be thankful."

"A greater quantity of praise, of conspicuity, of noisy gratitude, must be awarded in favour of those men who have the forethought, and take the trouble, to bring over useful animals and plants. Lucullus has been immortalized for introducing to Rome the cherry-tree; and shall we reserve no recompense, not at least a parsley wreath, for the brow of him who will introduce the American hen, that lays eggs in the Christmas holidays?"

"They have a bad custom, in arbitrary governments, of licensing books; they have also a custom of fixing the sum at which they shall be sold. Our English publishers are proving that this custom is not quite so bad."

"Where printing is unknown, tradition supplies the place of recorded experience: it is there, in fact, the most perfect form of preserving the inferences drawn by our ancestors from their local observation. It is entitled to the same sort of deference and obedience which we Europeans shew, in many questions of morals, to the opinion of the higher classes, or of the world, where our sacred books, and our moral philosophers, have decided differently from the world. It does not follow that a prevailing practice is wrong, because the motive for it has not been translated into words, and intelligibly recorded. But now that we print about every thing, and about nothing more frequently or more usefully than the moral habits of the several people of the earth, every nation in its turn is put upon the defensive, and obliged to account for its practices, or to abandon them. The authority of ridicule is a counterpoise to the authority of tradition. Laughter is, in alinost all cases, a retrograde motion of traditional impressions. The satirist, the comic writer, the novelist, so soon as they can diffuse, in the language of the Hindoos, their criticisms, can cause to be dropped, by imitation, whatever practice was learned by imitation, unless there is a reason in nature, a cause founded in the circumstances of the time and place, for such practice. Ridicule is never successful against a rational practice, because men return to it for the same reasons which occasioned its institution; they learn again, experimentally, what they had left off from ignorance of the motives which led to its adoption; they come again a posteriori to the usage which an a priori syllogist had exploded. If they record their experience when they resume their usage, ridicule not only can never triumph again, but cannot even be brought to bear against such usage. We can no more laugh at a proposal to reverse actions wisely willed, than at a paralytic stroke."

A. A. R.

« ÀÌÀü°è¼Ó »