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Yet he was kind, or, if severe in aught, In these, ere triflers half their wish obtain,
The love he bore to learning was in fault; The toiling pleasure sickens into pain :
The village all declared how much he knew, And e'en while fashion's brightest arts decoy,
'Twas certain he could write, and cipher too; The heart distrusting asks, if this be joy?
Lạnds he could measure, terms and tides presage,

Ye friends to truth, ye statesmen who survey And e'en the story ran—that he could gauge:

The rich man's joys increase, the poor's decay, In arguing too, the parson own'd his skill

, For e'en though vanquish’d, he could argue still; Between a splendid and a happy land.

'Tis yours to judge, how wide the limits stand While words of learned length, and thund'ring Proud swells the tide with loads of freighted ore, sound,

And shouting folly hails them from her shore; Amazed the gazing rustics ranged around,

Hoards e'en beyond the miser's wish abound, And still they gazed, and still the wonder grew,

And rich men flock from all the world around. That one small head could carry all he knew.

Yet count our gains. This wealth is but a name, But past is all his fame. The very spot That leaves our useful products still the same. Where many a time he triumph'd, is forgot.- Not so the loss. The man of wealth and pride Near yonder thorn, that lifts its head on high, Takes up a space that many poor supplied; Where once the sign-post caught the passing eye, Space for his lake, his park's extended bounds, Low lies that house where nut-brown draughts Space for his horses, equipage and hounds: inspired,

The robe that wraps his limbs in silken sloth, Where gray-beard mirth, and smiling toil retired, Has robb’d the neighb’ring fields of half their Where village statesmen talk'd with looks profound,

growth; And news much older than their ale went round. His seat, where solitary sports are seen, Imagination fondly stoops to trace

Indignant spurns the cottage from the green; The parlour splendours of that festive place; Around the world each needful product flies, The white-wash'd wall, the nicely sanded floor, For all the luxuries the world supplies. The Farnish'd clock that click'd behind the door; While thus the land adorn'd for pleasure, all The chest contrived a double debt to pay, In barren splendour feebly waits the fall. A bed by night, a chest of drawers by day; The pictures placed for ornament and use,

As some fair female, unadorn'd and plain, The twelve good rules, the royal game of goose;

Secure to please while youth confirms her reign, The hearth, except when winter chill'd the day, Slights every borrow'd charm that dress supplies, With aspin boughs, and flowers and fennel gay,

Nor shares with art the triumph of her eyes; While broken tea-cups, wisely kept for show,

But when those charms are past, for charms are frail, Ranged o'er the chimney, glisten'd in a row.

When time advances, and when lovers fail,

She then shines forth, solicitous to bless, Vain transitory splendours! could not all

In all the glaring impotence of dress.
Reprieve the tottering mansion from its fall ?

Thus fares the land, by luxury betray'd;
Obscure it sinks, nor shall it more impart In nature's simplest charms at first array'd,
An hour's importance to the poor man's heart; But verging to decline, its splendours rise,
Thither no more the peasant shall repair, Its vistas strike, its palaces surprise ;
To sweet oblivion of his daily care;

While, scourged by famine from the smiling land, No more the farmer's news, the barber's tale,

The mournful peasant leads his humble band; No more the woodman's ballad shall prevail; And while he sinks, without one arm to save, No more the smith his dusky brow shall clear, The country blooms—a garden, and a grave. Relax his pond'rous strength, and learn to hear; The host himself no longer shall be found

Where then, ah! where shall poverty reside, Careful to see the mantling bliss go round;

To’scape the pressure of contiguous pride? Nor the coy maid, half willing to be prest,

If to some common's fenceless limits stray'd, Shall kiss the cup to pass it to the rest.

He drives his flock to pick the scanty blade, Yes! let the rich deride, the proud disdain,

Those fenceless fields the sons of wealth divide,

And e'en the bare-worn common is denied.
These simple blessings of the lowly train,
To me more dear, congenial to my heart,

If to the city sped—What waits him there?
One native charm, than all the gloss of art: To see profusion that he must not share;
Spontaneous joys, where nature has its play, To see ten thousand baneful arts combined
The soul adopts, and own their first-born sway; To pamper luxury and thin mankind;
Lightly they frolic o'er the vacant mind, To see each joy the sons of pleasure know,
Unenvied, unmolested, unconfined.

Extorted from his fellow-creature's woe. But the long pomp, the midnight masquerade, Here, while the courtier glitters in brocade, With all the freaks of wanton wealth array'd, There the pale artist plies the sickly trade;

Here, while the proud their long-drawn pomps dis. And shuddering still to face the distant deep, play,

Return'd and wept, and still return'd to weep. There the black gibbet glooms beside the way. The good old sire, the first prepared to go The dome where pleasure holds her midnight reign, To new-found worlds, and wept for others' woe; Here, richly deck'd, admits the gorgeous train; But for himself in conscious virtue brave, Tumultuous grandeur crowns the blazing square, He only wished for worlds beyond the grave. The rattling chariots clash, the torches glare, His lovely daughter, lovelier in her tears, Sure scenes like these no troubles e'er annoy! The fond companion of his helpless years, Sure these denote one universal joy!

Silent went next, neglectful of her charms, Are these thy serious thoughts?—Ah, turn thine And left a lover's for her father's arms. eyes

With louder plaints the mother spoke her woes, Where the poor houseless shivering female lies. And blest the cot where every pleasure rose; She once, perhaps, in village plenty blest, And kiss'd her thoughtless babes with many a tear, Has wept at tales of innocence distrest;

And clasp'd them close, in sorrow doubly dear; Her modest looks the cottage might adorn, While her fond husband strove to lend relief Sweet as the primrose peeps beneath the thorn; In all the silent manliness of grief. Now lost to all, her friends, her virtue fled, Near her betrayer's door she lays her head, O luxury! thou curst by Heaven's decree, And pinched with cold, and shrinking from the How ill exchanged are things like these for thee! shower,

How do thy potions with insidious joy, With heavy heart deplores that luckless hour, Diffuse their pleasures only to destroy! When idly first, ambitious of the town,

Kingdoms by thee, to sickly greatness grown, She left her wheel and robes of country brown. Boast of a florid vigour not their own;

At every draught more large and large they grow, Do thine, sweet AUBURN, thine, the loveliest train, A bloated mass of rank unwieldy woe; Do thy fair tribes participate her pain?

Till sapp'd their strength, and every part unsound, E'en now, perhaps, by cold and hunger led, Down, down they sink, and spread a ruin round. At proud men's doors they ask a little bread!

E'en now the devastation is begun, Ah, no! To distant climes, a dreary scenc,

And half the business of destruction done;
Where half the convex world intrudes between, E'en now, methinks, as pondering here I stand,
Through torrid tracts with fainting steps they go, I see the rural virtues leave the land,
Where wild Altama murmurs to their woe. Down where yon anchoring vessels spreads the sail,
Far different there from all that charmed before, That idly waiting flaps with every gale,
The various terrors of that horrid shore ; Downward they move, a melancholy band,
Those blazing suns that dart a downward ray Pass from the shore, and darken all the strand.
And fiercely shed intolerable day;

Contented toil, and hospitable care,
Those matted woods where birds forget to sing, And kind connubial tenderness are there;
But silent bats in drowsy clusters cling; And piety with wishes placed above,
Those poisonous fields with rank luxuriance And steady loyalty, and faithful love.

And thou, sweet Poetry, thou loveliest maid,
Where the dark scorpion gathers death around;

Still first to fly where sensual joys invade; Where at each step the stranger fears to wake Unfit in those degenerate times of shame, The rattling terrors of the vengeful snake; To catch the heart, or strike for honest fame; Where crouching tigers wait their hapless prey, Dear charming nymph, neglected and decried, And savage men more murderous still than they; My shame in crowds, my solitary pride. While oft in whirls the mad tornado flies, Thou source of all my bliss, and all my woe, Mingling the ravaged landscape with the skies,

That found'st me poor at first, and keep’st me so; Far different these from every former scene,

Thou guide, by which the nobler arts excel, The cooling brook, the grassy vested green,

Thou nurse of every virtue, fare thee well! The breezy covert of the warbling grove,

Farewell, and oh! where'er thy voice be tried, That only sheltered thefts of harmless love. On Torno's cliffs, or Pambamarca's side,

Whether where equinoctial fervours glow, Good Heaven! what sorrows gloomed that part- Or winter wraps the polar world in snow, ing day

Still let thy voice, prevailing over time, That call’d them from their native walks away; Redress the rigours of th' inclement clime; When the poor exiles, every pleasure past, Aid, slighted truth, with thy persuasive strain, Hung round the bowers, and fondly look'd their last, Teach erring man to spurn the rage of gain ; And took a long farewell, and wished in vain Teach him, that states of native strength possest, For seats like these beyond the western main; Though very poor, may still be very blest;


That trade's proud empire hastes to swift decay, My life on't, this had kept her play from sinking As ocean sweeps the labour'd mole away; Have pleased our eyes, and saved the pain of While self-dependent power can time defy,

thinking: As rocks resist the billows and the sky.

Well, since she thus has shown her want of skill,
What if I give a masquerade?-I will.
But how? ay, there's the rub! (pausing]-I've got

my cue;

The world's a masquerade! the masquers, you,


[To Boxes, Pit, and Gallery. Say, cruel Iris, pretty rake,

Lud! what a group the motley scene discloses Dear mercenary beauty,

False wits, false wives, false virgins, and false What annual offering shall I make

spouses! Expressive of my duty ?

Statesmen with bridles on; and close beside 'em, My heart, a victim to thine eyes,

Patriots in party-colourd suits that ride 'em. Should I at once deliver,

There Hebes, turn'd of fifty, try once more Say, would the angry fair one prize

To raise a flame in Cupids of threescore: The gift, who slights the giver ?

These in their turn, with appetites as keen,

Deserting fifty, fasten on fifteen. A bill, a jewel, watch or toy,

Miss, not yet full fifteen, with fire uncommon, My rivals give-and let 'em;

Flings down her sampler, and takes up the woman; If gems, or gold, impart a joy,

The little urchin smiles, and spreads her lure, I'll give them—when I get 'em.

And tries to kill, ere she's got power to cure :

Thus 'tis with all—their chief and constant care I'll give—but not the full-blown rose, Or rose-bud more in fashion :

Is to seem every thing—but what they are. Such short-lived offerings but disclose

Yon broad, bold, angry spark, I fix my eye on, A transitory passion.

Who seems t'have robb'd his vizor from the lion;

Who frowns, and talks, and swears, with round I'll give thee something yet unpaid,

parade, Not less sincere, than civil :

Looking, as who should say, dam'me! who's afraid?, I'll give thee-ah! too charming maid,

(Mimicking. I'll give thee-to the devil.

Strip but this vizor off, and sure I am
You'll find his lionship a very lamb.

Yon politician, famous in debate,
EPITAPH ON DR. PARNELL. Perhaps, to vulgar eyes, bestrides the state;
This tomb, inscribed to gentle PARNELL's name, He turns old woman, and bestrides a broom.

Yet, when he deigns his real shape t'assume,
May speak our gratitude, but not his fame,
What heart but feels his sweetly moral lay,

Yon patriot, too, who presses on your sight,
That leads to truth through pleasure's flow'ry And seems to every gazer

, all in white


If with a bribe his candour you attack, way! Celestial themes confess'd his tuneful aid;

He bows, turns round, and whip—the man in And Heaven, that lent him genius, was repaid.

black ! Needless to him the tribute we bestow,

Yon critic, too-but whither do I run? The transitory breath of fame below:

If I proceed, our bard will be undone ! More lasting rapture from his works shall rise,

Well then a truce, since she requests it too: While converts thank their poet in the skies.

Do you spare her, and I'll for once spare you.





What? five long acts and all to make us wiser? Enter Mrs. Buikley, who courtesies very low as beginning Our authoress sure has wanted an adviser.

to speak. Then enter Miss Catley, who stands sull beforo Had she consulted me, she should have made

her, and courtesies to the Audience. Her moral play a speaking masquerade; Warm'd up each bustling scene, and in her rage Hold, ma'am, your pardon. What's your busiHave emptied all the green-room on the stage.

ness here?










Where are the chiels? Ah! Ah, I well discern The Epilogue.

The smiling looks of each bewitching bairn.

Air--A bonny young lad is my Jockey. The Epilogue ?

I'll sing to amuse you by night and by day,

And be unco merry when you are but gay; Yes, the Epilogue, my dear.

When you with your bagpipes are ready to play, MRS. BULKLEY.

My voice shall be ready to carol away Sure you mistake, ma'am. The Epilogue, I bring it.

With Sandy, and Sawney, and Jockey,

With Sawney, and Jarvie, and Jockey. Excuse me, ma'am. The author bid me sing it.

Ye gamesters, who, so eager in pursuit, Ye beaux and belles, that form this splendid ring, Make but of all your fortune one va toute: Suspend your conversation while I sing. Ye jockey tribe, whose stock of words are few,

"I hold the odds.—Done, done, with you, with you." MRS. BULKLEY. Why, sure the girl's beside herself! an Epilogue Ye barristers, so fluent with grimace, of singing,

“My lord, —Your lordship misconceives the case. » A hopeful end indeed to such a blest beginning Doctors, who cough and answer every misfortuner, Besides, a singer in a comic set

"I wish I'd been call'd in a little sooner: Excuse me, ma'am, I know the etiquette.

Assist my cause with hands and voices hearty,

Come end the contest here, and aid my party. What if we leave it to the house?


The house !-Agreed.

Ye brave Irish lads, hark away to the crack,

Assist me, I pray, in this woful attack;

For sure I don't wrong you, you seldom are slack, MRS. BULKLEY.

When the ladies are calling, to blush and hang back. And she whose party's largest shall proceed.

For you're always polite and attentive, And first, I hope you'll readily agree

Still to amuse us inventive, I've all the critics and the wits for me;

And death is your only preventive: They, I am sure, will answer my commands:

Your hands and your voices for me. Ye candid judging few, hold up your hands.

MRS. BULKLEY. What! no return ? I find too late, I fear,


, madam, what if, after all this sparring, That modern judges seldom enter here.

We both agree, like friends, to end our jarring? MISS CATLEY.

I'm for a different set.—Old men whose trade is And that our friendship may remain unbroken,
Still to gallant and dangle with the ladies. What if we leave the Epilogue unspoken?

Who mump their passion, and who, grimly smiling, Agreed.
Still thus address the fair with voice beguiling.


Turn my fairest, turn, if ever

MRS. BULKLEY. Strephon caught thy ravish'd eye,

And now with late repentance, Pity take on your swain so clever,

Un-epilogued the poet waits his sentence.
Who without your aid must die.

Condemn the stubborn fool who can't submit
Yes, I shall die, hu, hu, hu, hu,

To thrive by flattery, though he starves by wit.
Yes, I shall die, ho, ho, ho, ho,


Da capo.


Let all the old pay homage to your merit ;

Give me the young, the gay, the men of spirit.
Ye travell’d tribe, ye macaroni train,

Of French friseurs and nosegays justly vain,
Who take a trip to Paris once a year

THERE is a place, so Ariosto sings,
To dress, and look like awkward Frenchmen here; A treasury for lost and missing things :
Lend me your hands.-O fatal news to tell, Lost human wits have places there assign'd them,
Their hands are only lent to the Heinelle. And they who lose their senses, there may find them.

But where's this place, this storehouse of the age? Ay, take your travellers—travellers indeed! The Moon, says he ;-but I affirm, the Stage: Give me my bonny Scot, that travels from the At least in many things, I think, I see Tweed.

His lunar, and our mimic world agree.

But hold—let me pause_don't I hear you pro

nounce, This tale of the bacon's a damnable bounce? Well, suppose it a bounce-sure a poet may try,

a By a bounce now and then, to get courage to fly.

Both shine at night, for, but at Foote's alone,
We scarce exhibit till the sun goes down.
Both prone to change, no settled limits fix,
And sure the folks of both are lunatics.
But in this parallel my best pretence is,
That mortals visit both to find their senses;
To this strange spot, rakes, macaronies, cits,
Come thronging to collect their scatter'd wits.
The gay coquette, who ogles all the day,
Comes here at night, and goes a prude away.
Hither the affected city dame advancing,
Who sighs for operas, and doats on dancing,
Taught by our art her ridicule to pause on,
Quits the ballet, and calls for Nancy Dawson.
The gamester too, whose wit's all high or low,
Oft risks his fortune on one desperate throw,
Comes here to saunter, having made his bets,
Finds his lost senses out, and pays his debts.
The Mohawk too_with angry phrases stored,
As “Dam'me, sir," and "Sir, I wear a sword;"
Here lesson'd for a while, and hence retreating,
Goes out, affronts his man, and takes a beating.
Here comes the sons of scandal and of news,
But find no sense--for they had none to lose.
Of all the tribe here wanting an adviser,
Our author's the least likely to grow wiser ;
Has he not seen how you your favour place
On sentimental queens and lords in lace?
Without a star, a coronet, or garter,
How can the piece expect or hope for quarter?
No high-life scenes, no sentiment :-the creature
Still stoops among the low to copy nature.
Yes, he's far gone :—and yet some pity fix,
The English laws forbid to punish lunatics. *

But, my lord, it's no bounce: I protest in my turn,
It's a truth—and your lordship may ask Mr. Burn.*
To go on with my tale—as I gazed on the haunch,
I thought of a friend that was trusty and staunch,
So I cut it, and sent it to Reynolds undrest,
To paint it, or eat it, just as he liked best.
Of the neck and the breast I had next to dispose;
Twas a neck and a breast that might rival Mon-

But in parting with these I was puzzled again,
With the how, and the who, and the where, and

the when.
There's H-d, and C-y, and H-rth, and H-ff,
I think they love venison-I know they love beef.
There's my countryman, Higgins-Oh! let him

For making a blunder, or picking a bone.
But hang it—to poets who seldom can eat,
Your very good mutton is a very good treat;
Such dainties to them their health it might hurt,
It's like sending them ruffles, when wanting a shirt.
While thus I debated, in reverie centred,
An acquaintance, a friend as he call'd himself

, en-
An under-bred, fine spoken fellow was he,
And he smil'd as he look'd at the venison and mc.
"What have we got here?—Why this is good

eating! Your own, I suppose-or is it in waiting ?" “Why whose should it be?" cried I with a flounce; "I get these things often"_but that was a bounce: “Some lords, my acquaintance, that settle the na

tion, Are pleased to be kind—but I hate ostentation."




“ If that be the case then," cried he, very gay, Thanks, my lord, for your venison, for finer or fatter "I'm glad I have taken this house in my way. Never ranged in a forest, or smoked in a platter.

To-morrow you take a poor dinner with me; The haunch was a picture for painters to study,

No words I insist on't-precisely at three; The fat was so white, and the lean was so ruddy; We'll have Johnson, and Burke, all the wits will Though my stomach was sharp, I could scarce

be there; help regretting

My acquaintance is slight, or I'dask my Lord Clare. To spoil such a delicate picture by eating:

And, now that I think on't, as I am a sinner! I had thoughts, in my chambers to place it in view, We wanted this venison to make out a dinner. To be shown to my friends as a piece of virtû;

What say you—a pasty? it shall, and it must, As in some Irish houses, where things are so so,

And my wife, little Kitty, is famous for crust. One gammon of bacon hangs up for a show;

Here, porter—this venison with me to Mile-end: But for eating a rasher of what they take pride in, No stirring—I beg-my dear friend—my dear They'd as soon think of eating the pan it is fried in.


Thus snatching his hat, he brush'd off like the wind, * This Epilogue was given in MS. by Dr. Goldsinith to Dr.

And the porter and eatables followed behind. Percy (late Bishop of Dromore); but for what comedy it was intended te not remembered.

Lord Clare's nephew

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