Joseph S. Your very obedient.

Sir Oliver S. Sir, your most obsequious. Joseph S. You may depend upon hearing from me, whenever I can be of service.

Sir Oliver S. Sweet sir, you are too good! Joseph S. In the mean time I wish you health and spirits.

Sir Oliver S. Your ever grateful and perpetual humble servant.

Joseph S. Sir, yours as sincerely.

Sir Oliver S. Charles, you are my heir!

[Aside. Exit.

Joseph S. This is one bad effect of a good character; it invites application from the unfortunate, and there needs no small degree of address to gain the reputation of benevolence without incurring the expense. The silver ore of pure charity is an expensive article in the catalogue of a man's good qualities; whereas the sentimental French plate I use instead of it makes just as good a show, and pays no tax.

Enter RowLEY.

Rowley. Mr. Surface, your servant: I was apprehensive of interrupting you, though my business demands immediate attention, as this note will inform you.

Joseph S. Always happy to see Mr. Rowley.

[Reads the letter.]—Sir Oliver Surface!—My uncle arrived!

Rowley. He is, indeed: we have just parted -quite well, after a speedy voyage, and impatient to embrace his worthy nephew.

Joseph S. I am astonished!-William! stop Mr. Stanley, if he's not gone.

Rowley. Oh! he's out of reach, I believe. Joseph S. Why did you not let me know this when you came in together?

Rowley. I thought you had particular business; but I must be gone to inform your brother, and appoint him here to meet your uncle. He will be with you in a quarter of an hour.

Joseph S. So he says. Well, I am strangely overjoyed at his coming.Never, to be sure, was any thing so damned unlucky. [Aside. Rowley. You will be delighted to see how well he looks.

Joseph S. Ah! I'm rejoiced to hear itJust at this time!

[Aside. Rowley. I'll tell him how impatiently you expect him.

Joseph S. Do, do; pray give my best duty and affection. Indeed, I cannot express the sensations I feel at the thought of seeing him.

VOL. II.

K

-Exit RowLEY.]-Certainly his coming just at this time is the cruellest piece of ill-fortune! [Exit.

SCENE II.

Sir PETER TEAZLE'S.

Enter Mrs. CANDOUR and MAID.

Maid. Indeed, ma'am, my lady will see nobody at present.

Mrs. Can. Did you tell her it was her friend Mrs. Candour?

Maid. Yes, ma'am; but she begs you will excuse her.

Mrs. Can. Do go again, I shall be glad to see her, if it be only for a moment, for I am sure she must be in great distress. [Exit MAID.] Dear heart, how provoking! I'm not mistress of half the circumstances! We shall have the whole affair in the newspapers, with the names of the parties at length, before I have dropped the story at a dozen houses.

Enter Sir BENJAMIN BACKBITE.

Oh, Sir Benjamin! you have heard, I sup

pose

Sir Benj. B. Of Lady Teazle and Mr. Surface

Mrs. Can. And Sir Peter's discovery

Sir Benj. B. O! the strangest piece of business, to be sure!

Mrs. Can. Well, I never was so surprised in my life. I am so sorry for all parties, indeed.

Sir Benj. B. Now, I don't pity Sir Peter at all: he was so extravagantly partial to Mr. Surface.

Mrs. Can. Mr. Surface! Why, 'twas with Charles Lady Teazle was detected.

Sir Benj. B. No, no, I tell you-Mr. Surface is the gallant.

Mrs. Can. No such thing! Charles is the man. 'Twas Mr. Surface brought Sir Peter on purpose to discover them.

it

Sir Benj. B. I tell you I had it from oneMrs. Can. And I have it from one

Sir Benj. B. Who had it from one, who had

Mrs. Can. From one immediately

-but

here comes Lady Sneerwell; perhaps she knows the whole affair.

Enter Lady SNEERWELL.

Lady Sneer. So, my dear Mrs. Candour, here's a sad affair of our friend Lady Teazle.

Mrs. Can. Ay, my dear friend, who would have thought

Lady Sneer. Well, there is no trusting appearances; though, indeed, she was always too lively for me.

Mrs. Can. To be sure, her manners were a little too free: but then she was so young! Lady Sneer. And had, indeed, some good qualities.

Mrs. Can. So she had, indeed. But have you heard the particulars?

Lady Sneer. No; but every body says that Mr. Surface

Sir Benj. B. Ay, there; I told you Mr. Surface was the man.

Mrs. Can. No, no: indeed the assignation was with Charles.

Lady Sneer. With Charles! You alarm me, Mrs. Candour!

Mrs. Can. Yes, yes, he was the lover. Mr. Surface, to do him justice, was only the informer.

Sir Benj. B. Well, I'll not dispute with you, Mrs. Candour; but, be it which it may, I hope that Sir Peter's wound will not

Mrs. Can. Sir Peter's wound! O, mercy! I didn't hear a word of their fighting.

Lady Sneer. Nor I, a syllable.