have us bring? Do you suppose any lady ever came to India, who brought along with her friends or fortune?

Sir Luke. No, my dear; and what is worse, she seldom leaves them behind.

Lady. No matter, Sir Luke; but, if I delivered to you a good character

Sir Luke. Yes, my dear, you did; and, if you were to ask me for it again, I can't say I could give it you,

Lady. How uncivil! how unlike are your manners to the manners of my Lord Flint!

Sir Luke. Ay, you are never so happy as when

Lady. I don't remember it.

Sir Luke. But I do; and shall remember it as long as I live. The first time I saw you was in the garden of the Dutch envoy; you were looking through a glass at the sun; I immediately began to make love to you, and the whole affair was settled while the eclipse lasted; just one hour, eleven minutes, and three seconds.

Lady. But what is all this to my age? Sir Luke. Because I know you were at that time near seventeen; and without one qualification, except your youth, and your fine clothes.

Lady. Sir Luke, Sir Luke, this is not to be borne! Sir Luke. Oh, yes! I forgot; you had two letters of recommendation from two great families in England.

Lady. Letters of recommendation?

Sir Luke. Yes; your character. That, you know, is all the fortune we poor Englishmen, situated in India, expect with a wife, who crosses the sea at the hazard of her life, to make us happy.

Lady. And what, but our characters, would you

tion of him. A disagreeable, nay, a very dangerous man; one is never sure of one's self in his presence; he carries every thing he hears to the ministers of our suspicious Sultan; and I feel my head shake whenever I am in his company.

Lady. How different does his lordship appear to me! To me he is all politesse.

Sir Luke. Politesse! how should you understand what is real politesse? You know your education was very much confined.

Lady. And if it was confined? I beg, Sir Luke, you will cease these reflections; you know, they are what I can't bear. (Walks about in a passion.) Pray, does not his lordship continually assure me, I might be taken for a countess, were it not for a certain little groveling toss I have caught with my head, and a certain little confined hitch in my walk; both which I learnt of you; learnt by looking so much at you.

Sir Luke. And now, if you don't take care, by looking so much at his lordship, you may catch some of his defects.

Lady. I know of very few he has.

Sir Luke. I know of many; besides those he

assumes.

Lady. Assumes?

Sir Luke. Yes; do you suppose he is as forgetful as he pretends to be? No, no; but, because he is a favourite with the Sultan, and all our great men, he thinks it genteel or convenient to have no memory; and yet, I'll answer for it, he has one of the best in the universe.

Lady. I don't believe your charge.

Sir Luke. Why, though he forgets his appointments with his tradesmen, did you ever hear of his forgetting to go to court when a place was to be disposed of? Did he ever make a blunder, and send a bribe to a man out of power? Did he ever forget to kneel before the prince of this island, or to look in his highness's presence like the statue of patient resignation in humble expectation?

Lady. Dear Sir Luke

Sir Luke. Sent from his own country in his very infancy, and brought up in the different courts of petty, arbitrary princes here in Asia, he is the slave of every rich man, and the tyrant of every poor one. Lady. "Petty princes!" 'tis well his highness, our Sultan, does not hear you.

Sir Luke. 'Tis well he does not; don't you repeat what I say: but you know how all this fine country is harassed and laid waste by a set of princes; Sultans, as they style themselves, and I know not what; who are for ever calling out to each other, "That's mine," and "That's mine;" and " You have no business here," and "You have no business there;" and " I have business every where." (Strutting.) Then, "Give me this," and "Give me that" and "Take this," and "Take that." (Makes signs of fighting.)

Lady. A very elegant description, truly.

Sir Luke. Why, you know 'tis all matter of fact: and Lord Flint, brought up from his youth among these people, has not one trait of an Englishman about him: he has imbibed all this country's cruelty; and, I dare say, would mind no more seeing me hung up by my thumbs, or made to dance upon a red hot gridiron

Lady. That is one of the tortures I never heard of. O! I should like to see that, of all things! Sir Luke. Yes, by keeping this man's company, you'll soon be as cruel as he is; he will teach you every vice. A consequential, grave, dull-and yet with that degree of levity which dares to pay addresses to a woman, even before her husband's

face.

Lady. Did not you declare, this minute, his lordship had not a trait of his own country about him? Sir Luke. Well, well; as you say, that last is a trait of his own country.

Enter Servant and LORD FLINT.

Serv. Lord Flint. [Exit Servant. Lady. My lord, I am extremely glad to see you; we were just mentioning your name. Lord. Were you, indeed, madam? You do me great honour.

Sir Luke. No, my lord; no great honour.
Lord. Pardon me, Sir Luke.

Sir Luke. But, I assure you, my lord, in what I said, I did myself a great deal.

Lady. Yes, my lord; and I'll acquaint your lordship what it was. (Going up to him.)

Sir Luke. (Pulling her aside.) Why, you would not inform against me, sure? Do you know what would be the consequence? My head must answer it. (Frightened.)

Lord. Nay, Sir Luke, I insist upon knowing. Sir Luke. (To her.) Hush! hush! No, my lord; pray, excuse me your lordship, perhaps, may think what I said did not come from my heart; and I assure you, upon my honour, it did. Lady. O, yes; that I am sure it did.

Lady. Yes, my lord; and we should be happy to find your lordship of the party. Lord. Engaged out to dinner?" Egad! very likely; very likely: but, if I am, I have positively forgotten where.

Lady. We are going to

Lord, No; I think, now you put me in mind of it-I think, I have company to dine with me. I am either going out to dinner, or have company to dine with me; but I really can't tell which. However, my people know; but I can't recollect. Sir Luke. Perhaps your lordship has dined; can you recollect that? Lord. No, no; I have not dined. What's [fasted? Lady. Perhaps, my lord, you have not breakLord. O, yes; I've breakfasted: I think so; but, upon my word, these things are very difficult to remember.

o'clock?

Sir Luke. They are, indeed, my lord; and I wish all my family would entirely forget them.

Lord. What did your ladyship say was o'clock? Lady. Exactly twelve, my lord.

Lord. Bless me! I ought to have been somewhere else, then; an absolute engagement; I have broke my word; a positive appointment.

Lady. Shall I send a servant?

Lord. No, no, no, no; by no means. It can't be helped now; and they know my unfortunate failing: besides, I'll beg their pardon; and, I trust, that will be ample satisfaction.

Lady, You are very good, my lord, not to leave us.

Lord. I could not think of leaving you so soon; the happiness I enjoy in your society is

extreme

SO

Sir Luke That were your lordship to go away now, you might never remember to come again.

Enter Servant.

Serv. A gentleman, sir, just landed from on board an English vessel, says, he has letters to present to you.

Sir Luke. Shew him in. [Exit Servant.] He left it behind, too, perhaps. has brought his character, too, I suppose; and

Enter MR. TWINEALL, in a fashionable undress.

Twi. Sir Luke, I have the honour of presenting to you-(gives letters). -one from my Lord Cleland, one from Sir Thomas Shoestring, one from Colonel Frill.

Sir Luke. (Aside.) Who, in the name of wonder, have my friends recommended? (Reads, while Lord Flint and the Lady talk apart.) No; as I live, be is a gentleman, and the son of a lord. (Going to Lady Tremor.) My dear, that is a gentleman, notwithstanding his appearance. Don't laugh; but let me introduce you to him.

Lady. A gentleman! Certainly: I did not look at him before; but now I can perceive it,

Sir Luke. Mr. Twineall, give me leave to introduce Lady Tremor to you, and my Lord Flint: this, my lord, is the Honourable Mr. Twineall, from England, who will do me the favour to remain in my house till he is settled to his mind in some post here. (They bow.) I beg your pardon, sir, for the somewhat cool reception Lady Tremor and I at first gave you; but, I dare say, her ladyship was under the same mistake as myself; and, I must own, I took you at first sight for something very different from the person you prove to be: for, really, no English ships having arrived in this harbour for these five years past, and the dress of

English gentlemen being so much altered since that time

Twi. But, I hope, Sir Luke, if it is, the alteration meets with your approbation.

Lady. Oh! it is extremely elegant and becoming. Sir Luke. Yes, my dear, I don't doubt but you think so; for, I remember, you used to make your favourite monkey wear just such a jacket, when he went out a visiting.

Twi. Was he your favourite, madam? Sir, you are very obliging. (Bowing to Sir Luke.)

Sir Luke. My lord, if it were possible for your lordship to call to your remembrance such a trifle Lady. Dear Sir Luke-(Pulling him.)

Lord. Egad! I believe I do call to my remembrance. (Gravely considering.) Not, I assure you, sir, that I perceive any great resemblance; or, if it was so I dare say it is merely in the dress; which, I must own, strikes me as most ridiculous; very ridiculous, indeed.

Twi. My lord!

Lord. I beg pardon, if I have said anything that-Lady Tremor, what did I say?-make my apology, if I have said anything improper; you know my unhappy failing. (Goes up the stage.)

Lady. (To Twineall.) Sir, his lordship has made a mistake in the word "ridiculous," which I am sure he did not mean to say; but, he is apt to make use of one word for another. His lordship has been so long out of England, that he may be said, in some measure, to have forgotten his native language.

Twi. You have perfectly explained, madam. Indeed, I ought to have been convinced, without your explanation, that, if his lordship made use of the word ridiculous, even intentionally, that the word had now changed its former sense, and was become a mode to express satisfaction; or he would not have used it, in the very forcible manner he did, to a perfect stranger.

Sir Luke. What, Mr. Twineall, have you new fashions for words, too, in England, as well as for dresses? and are you equally extravagant in their adoption?

Lady. I never heard, Sir Luke, but that the fashion of words varied, as well as the fashion of every thing else.

Twi. But what is most extraordinary, we have now a fashion, in England, of speaking without any words at all.

Lady. Pray, sir, how is that?

Sir Luke. Ay, do, Mr. Twineall, teach my wife to do without words, and I shall be very much obliged to you; it will be a great accomplishment. Even you, my lord, ought to be attentive to this

fashion.

Twi. Why, madam, for instance; when a gentleman is asked a question, which is either troublesome or improper to answer, he does not say he won't answer it, even though he speaks to an inferior; but he says, "Really, it appears to me, e-e-e-e-e -(mutters and shrugs)—that is, mo-mo-mo-momo-(mutters)-if you see the thing for my part -te-te-te-te-and that's all I can tell about it at present."

Sir Luke. And you have told nothing.
Twi. Nothing upon earth.

Lady. But mayn't one guess what you mean? Twi. Oh, yes; perfectly at liberty to guess. Sir Luke. Well, I'll be shot, if I could guess. Twi. And again; when an impertinent pedant asks you a question, which you know nothing about, and it may not be convenient to say soyou answer, boldly, Why really, sir, my opinion is, that the Greek poet-he-he-he-he-(mutters)we-we-we-we-you see; if his ideas were-and if the Latin translator-mis-mis-mis-mis--(shrugs)—— that I should think-in my humble opinion. But the doctor may know better than I."

Twi. "There, now you have it; there it is: but don't say a word about it; or, if you do, don't say it came from me.'

Lady. Why, you have not told a word of the story!

Twi. But that your auditor must not say to you; that's not the fashion; he never tells you that; he may say "You have not made yourself perfectly clear;" or, he may say, "He must have the matter more particularly pointed out somewhere else;" but that is all the auditor can say with good breeding. Lady. A very pretty method, indeed, to satisfy curiosity! Enter Servant.

Sir Luke. Mr. Haswell, how do you do? Hasw. Sir Luke, I am glad to see you. Lady Tremor, how do you do? (He bows to the rest.)

Lady. Oh, Mr. Haswell, I am extremely glad you are come; here is a young adventurer, just arrived from England, who has been giving us such a strange account of all that's going on there. Hasw. Sir, you are welcome to India. (Sir Luke whispers Haswell.) Indeed! his son. Lady. Do, Mr. Haswell, talk to him; he can give you great information.

Hasw. I am glad of it; I shall then hear many things I am impatient to become acquainted with. (Goes up to Twineall.) Mr. Twineall, I have the honour of knowing your father extremely well; he holds his seat in parliament still, I presume? Twi. He does, sir.

Hasu. And your uncle, Sir Charles? Twi. Both, sir; both in parliament still. Hasw. Pray, has any act in behalf of the poor clergy taken place?

Twi. In behalf of the poor clergy, sir? I'll tell you; I'll tell you, sir. As to that act-concerning —(shrugs and mutters)-em-em-em-em-the committee-em-em-ways and means-hee-hee-tete-te-(Sir Luke, Lady, and Lord Flint, laugh.) My father and my uncle both think so, I assure you.

Hasw. Think how, sir? Sir Luke. Nay, that's not good breeding; you must ask no more questions.

Hasw. Why not?

Sir Luke. Because-we-we-we-we-(mimics) he knows nothing about the matter. Hasw. What! not know?

Twi. Yes, sir, perfectly acquainted with every thing that passes in the house; but, I assure you, that when parliamentary business is reported-By the by, Sir Luke, permit me, in my turn, to make a few enquiries concerning the state of this country. (Sir Luke starts, and fixes his eyes suspiciously on Lord Flint.)

Sir Luke. Why, one does not like to speak much about the country one lives in. But, Mr. Haswell, you have been visiting our encampments; you may tell us what is going on there.

Lady. Pray, Mr. Haswell, is it true that the Sultan cut off the head of one of his wives the other day, because she said to him, "I won't?" Sir Luke. Do, my dear, be silent. Lady. I won't.

[of me!

Sir Luke. Oh, that the Sultan had you instead

Lady. And with my head off, I suppose? Sir Luke. No, my dear; in that state, I should have no objection to you myself.

Lady. (Aside to Sir Luke.) Now, I'll frighten you ten times more. But, Mr. Haswell, I am told there are many persons suspected of disaffection to the present Sultan, who have been lately, by his orders, arrested, and sold to slavery; notwithstanding there was no proof against them produced. Hasw. Proof! in a state such as this, the charge is quite sufficient.

Sir Luke. (In apparent agonies, wishing to turn the discourse.) Well, my lord, and how does your lordship find yourself this afternoon? this morning, I mean. Bless my soul! why, begin to be as forgetful as your lordship. (Smiling and fawning.) Lady. How I pity the poor creatures!

Sir Luke. (Aside to Lady.) Take care what you say before that tool of state; look at him, and tremble for your head.

Lady. Look at him, and tremble for your own. And so, Mr. Haswell, all this is true? and some persons of family, too, I am told, dragged from their homes, and sent to slavery, merely on suspicion? Hasw. Yet, less do I pity those, than some, whom prisons and dungeons, crammed before, are yet prepared to receive.

Lord. Mr. Haswell, such is the Sultan's pleasure. Sir Luke. Will your lordship take a turn in the garden? it looks from this door very pleasant. Does not it, my lord?

Lady. But pray, Mr. Haswell, has not the Sultan sent for you to attend at his palace this morning? Hasw. He has, madam. Lady. There! I heard he had; but Sir Luke said not. I am told, he thinks himself under the greatest obligations to you.

Hasw. The report has flattered me; but, if his highness should think himself under obligations, I can readily point a way by which he may acquit himself of them.

Lady. In the meantime, I am sure you feel for those poor sufferers.

Hasw. (With stifled emotion.) Sir Luke, good morning to you. I called upon some trifling business, but I have out-staid my time, and therefore I'll call again in a couple of hours. Lady Tremor, good morning; my lord; Mr. Twineall. [Bows, and exit. Twi. Sir Luke, your garden does look so divinely beautiful

Sir Luke. Come, my lord, will you take a turn in it? Come, Mr. Twineall; come, my dear. (Taking her hand.) I can't think what business Mr. Haswell has to speak to me upon; for my part, I am quite a plain man, and busy myself about no one's affairs, except my own; but, I dare say, your lordship has forgotten all we have been talking about.

Lord. If you permit me, Sir Luke, I'll hand Lady Tremor.

Sir Luke. Certainly, my lord, if you please; come, Mr. Twineall, and I'll conduct you. [Exeunt. ACT II.

SCENE I.-An Apartment at Sir Luke Tremor's. Enter TWINEALL and MEANRIGHT. Twi. My dear friend, after so long a separation, how devilish unlucky that you should, on the very day of my arrival, be going to set sail for another part of the world! yet, before you go, I must beg a favour of you. You know Sir Luke and bis family perfectly well, I dare say?

Mean. think so, I have been in his house near six years.

Twi. The very person on earth I wanted. Sir Luke has power here, I suppose? a word from him might do a man some service, perhaps?

Mean. Why, yes; I don't know a man who has more influence at a certain place.

Twi. And Lady Tremor seems a very clever gentlewoman. Mean. Very.

Twi. And I have a notion they think me very clever.

Mean. I dare say they do.

Twi. Yes; but I mean very clever.
Mean. No doubt.

Twi. But, my dear friend, you must help me to make them think better of me still; and when my fortune is made, I'll make your's; for when I once become acquainted with people's dispositions, their little weaknesses, foibles, and faults, I can wind, twist, twine, and get into the corner of every one's heart, and lie so snug, they can't know I'm there till they want to pull me out, and find 'tis impossible.

Mean. Excellent talent!

Twi. Is not it? And now, my dear friend, do you inform me of the secret dispositions and propensities of every one in this family, and that of all their connexions? What lady values herself upon one qualification, and what lady upon another? What gentleman will like to be told of his accomplishments, or what man would rather hear of his wife's or his daughters? or of his horses, or of his dogs! Now, my dear Ned, acquaint me with all this; and, within a fortnight, I will become the most necessary rascal; not a creature shall know how to exist without me.

Mean. Why, such a man as you ought to have made your fortune in England.

Twi. No; there, my father and my three uncles monopolized all the great men themselves, and would never introduce me where I was likely to become their rival. This, this is the very spot for me to display my genius. But then I must first penetrate the people, unless you will kindly save me that trouble. Come, give me all their characters; all their little propensities; all their whims; in short, all I am to praise, and all I am to avoid praising, in order to endear myself to them. (Takes out tablets.) Come; begin with Sir Luke.

Mean. Sir Luke values himself more upon personal bravery, than upon anything.

Twi. Thank you, my dear friend; thank you. (Writes.) Was he ever in the army?

Mean. Ob, yes; besieged a capital fortress a few years ago: and now, the very name of a battle, or a great general, tickles his vanity; and he takes all the praises you can lavish upon the subject as compliments to himself.

Twi. Thank you; thank you, a thousand times. (Writes.) I'll mention a battle very soon. Mean. Not directly.

Twi. Oh, no; let me alone for time and place. Go on, my friend; go on: her ladyship— Mean. Descended from the ancient kings of Scotland.

Twi. You don't say so?

Mean. And though she is so nicely scrupulous as never to mention the word genealogy, yet I have seen her agitation so great, when the advantages of high birth have been extolled, that she could scarcely withhold her sentiments of triumph; which, in order to disguise, she has assumed a disdain for all "vain titles, empty sounds, and idle pomp."

Twi. Thank you, thank you; this is a most excellent trait of the lady's. (Writes.) "Pedigree of the kings of Scotland." Oh, I have her at once. Mean. Yet, do it nicely; oblique touches, rather than open explanations.

Twi. Let me alone for that.

Mean. She has, I know, in her possession; but I dare say she would not shew it you; nay, on the contrary, would affect to be highly offended, were you to mention it; and yet, it certainly would