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Mid. Half my estate
Mid. Let's end the tankard,
Pan. Nor have my guts brains in them till they're
When I'm most rocky, I best sit my saddle.
Mid. Well, come, let's take one boose, and roar
Then part to our affairs.
[a catch, Pan. A match. Enter Pan.
Mysis. A match. Pan. So, squire, well met-I flew to know your TRIO.-MIDAS, PAN, and Mysis. business.
Mid. Master Pol Mid. Why, Pan, this Pol, we must bring him on his knees.
And his tol de rol lol, Pan. That were a feat indeed ;-a feat to brag on.
ru buffet away from the plain, sir. Mid. Let's home-we'll there concert it o'er a
Pan. And I'll assist
Your worship’s fist flaggon; I'll make him skip
With all my might and main, sir. Pan. As St. George did the dragon. [Exeunt.
Mysis. And I'll have a thump,
Though he is so plump,
And makes such a wounded racket. SCENE II.-A Lawn before Midas's house.
Mid. I'll bluff,
Pan. I'll rough,
Mysis. ru huff, Nysa. Good lack! wbat is come o'er me?
Mid. I'll cuff, Daphne has stepp'd before me!
All. And I'll warrant we pepper his jacket. Envy and love devour me.
Mid. For all his cheats, Pol dotes upon her phiz hard!
And wenching feats, "Tis that sticks in my gizzard.
He shall rue on his knees 'em; Midas appears now twenty times more hideous:
Or skip by goles, Ah, Nysa, wbat resource? a cloister.
As high as Paul's
Like ugly witch on besom.
Arraigned he shall be.
Of treason to me!
Pan. And I with my davy will back it,
Mid. rl snare,
Mysis, Pul tear,
Al. O rare!
And I'll warrant we pepper his jacket.
Scene IV.-A Landscape.
Enter Sileno and DAMÆTAS, in warm argument.
Sil. My Daph, a wife for thee; the 'squire's Bad taste and blind eye. [Exit.
To the plantations sooner would I send her.
Dam. Sir, your good wife approv'd my offers.
Sil. Name her not, bag of Endor, MIDAS, Mysis, and Pan, discovered in consultation What knew she of thee but thy coffers ?
over a large bowl of punch, pipes, and tobacco. Dam. And shall this ditch-born whelp, this jackMid. Come, Pan, your toast.
anapes, Pan. Here goes our noble umpire.
By dint of congees and of scrapesMysis. And Pol's defeat-I'll pledge it in a Sil. These are thy slanders and that canker'd hag's. bumper.
Dam. A thing made up of pilfer'd rags! Mid. Hang bim, in every scheme that whelp has
Sil. Richer than thou with all thy brags
Of flocks, and herds, and money bags.
DUETT.-SILENO and DAMÆTAS. Mysis. Ah, 'squire--for Pan would you but Sil. If a rival thy character draw, stoatly stickle,
In perfection he'll find out a flaw; This Pol would soon be in a wretched pickle.
With black he will paint, Pan. You reason right,
Make a de'il of a saint, Mid. His toby I shall tickle.
And change to an owl a maccaw. Mysis. Look, 'squire, I've sold my butter; here Dam. Can a father pretend to be wise, the price is
Who his friend's
good advice would despise? At your command, do but this job for Mysis.
Who, when danger is nigh, Count 'em—six guineas and an old Jacobus;
Throws his spectacles by, Keep Pan, and shame that scape-grace coram nobis.
And blinks through a green girl's eyes?
Sil. You're an impudent pimp and a grub.
Dam. You are fooľd by a beggarly scrub;
Your beiters you snub.
Sil. Who will lend me a club,
This insolent puppy to drub?
You're an impudent pimp and a grub,
Dam. You're cajold by a beggarly scrub,
Sil. Who will rot in a powdering tub,
Sil. A guinea for a club,
Dam. You're bald pate you'U rub,
What the devil's here to do,
Ye loggerheads and gópsias?
Sirrah you, and hussy you, Dam. Is debauch'd by a whipp'd syllabub.
And each of you tipsy is;
But I'll as sure pull down your pride as Enter Mysis, attended by DAPHNE and NYSA.
A gun, or as I'm justice Midas. Mysis. Soh! you attend the trial-we shall drive
Chorus. O, tremendous justice Midas! Your vagabond
Who shall oppose wise justice Midas?
here; Daph. O, gemini, say'st thou me so?
Disputing whether Pan or Pol shall pipe to you anoDear creature, let me kiss you. Nysa. Let's kneel, and beg his stay, papa will Do you think your clumsy ears so proper to decide, as
The delicate ears of justice Midas? Daph. Mamma will storm.
0, tremendous, &c. Nysa. What then! she can but whack us.
Mid. So, you allow it then-ye mobbish rabble? QUINTETTO.
Enter APOLLO and Pan. Daphne, NYSA, MYSIS, SILENO and DAMÆTAS. Oh, here comes Pol and Pan-now stint your gabble. Daph. Mother, sure you never
Fetch my great chair-I'll quickly end this squabble.
Now I'm seated,
I'll be treated
Like the Sophi on his throne;
In my presence,
Shall not call their souls their own.
My behest is,
He who best is,
Shall be fir'd musician chief ;
Ne'er the loser
Shall show nose here,
But be transported like a thirf.
O tremendous, &c.
Dam. Masters, will you abide by this condition ? Daph. Bosoms warming,
Pan. I ask no better. Nysa. Wrath disarming,
Apo. I'm all submission. Daph. With his soft lay:
Pan. Strike up, sweet sir.
Apo. Sir, I attend your leisure.
Mid. Pan, take the lead.
Pan. Since 'tis your worship’s pleasure.
A plague on your pother about this or that,
Your shrieking or squeaking, a sharp or a flat: Could see him swing,
I'm sharp by my bumpers, you're a flat, master Pol; For his badness.
So here goes a set-lo at tol de rol lol. Sil. 'Tis no such thing.
When beauty her rack of poor lovers would hamper, Dam. Must Pan resign to this fop his employ- | And after miss Will-o'the-Wisp the fools scamper; ment?
Ding dong, in sing song, they the lady extol: Must I to him yield of Daph the enjoy- Pray what's all this fuss for, but--tol de rol lol?
Mankind are a medleyma chance-medley race:
All start in full cry, to give dame Fortune chase:
There's catch as catch can, hit or miss, luck is all, Dam. Will you reject my income,
And luck's the best tune of life's tol de rol lol.
I've done, please your worship, 'tis rather too long!
Mid. Not at all. Mysis. And Pol must fly:
Pan. I only meant life is but an old song ; Sil. Zounds, Pol sha'n't budge:
The world's but a tragedy, comedy, droll; Mysis. You lie.
Where all act the scene of tol de rol lol. Dam. You lie.
Peasants. A Pan!-a Pan! Mysis.
Mid. By jingo, well perform'd for one of his age; Dam. You lie, you lie.
Now, hang dog, don't you blush to show your visage? Sil.
Apo. Why, master Midas, for that matter,
"l'is enough to dash one, Enter MIDAs, enraged, attended by a crowd of
To bear the arbitrator,
In such unseemly fashion, Mid. Peace, ho! Is bell broke loose? what means One of the candidates bespatter, this jawing?
With so much partial passion. Coder my very nose this clapper-clawing !
(Midas fulls asleep.)
The wrath of Jove, for rapine,
Corruption, lust, pride, fraud, there's no escaping.
Tremble, thou wretch; thou stretch'd thy utmost
Thou and thy tools shall go to pot together.
Dunce, I did but sham,
For Apollo I am,
God of music, and king of Parnass;
Thy scurvy decree,
For Pan against me,
I reward with the ears of an ass.
(Midas's wig falls off, and he appears with the ears Pan shall remain,
of an ass.)
Mid. Detected, balk'd, and small,
Mysis. Be merciful. No pouting--and with festal chorus crown bim
Dam. Be pitiful.
Mid. Forgive us, mighty Sol. Alas! alas ! (The Crowd form two ranks beside the chair, and join in the chorus, whilst Midas crowns him with bays.
FINALE.-APOLLO. He is then carried round the stage, the dancers leading the way to the Chorus.)
Thou, a Billingsgate quean;
Thou, a pandar obscene, (To Damætas.) Chorus. See triumphant sits the bard,
With strumpets and bailiffs skall class:
Thou, driven from man,
(To Midas.) Erild Pol shall wunder far;
Shall wander with Pan;
He a stinking old goat, thou an ass, an ass, &c.
To thee I translate.
To you his strong chests, wicked mass; Mid. 'Tis well. What keeps you here, you raga
(To Daphne and Nysa.) muslin?
Live happy, while I, Go trudge- e-or do you wait for a good cuffing? Recall d to the sky, Apo. Now all attend
Make all the gods laugh at Midas. (Throws off his disguise, and appears as Apollo.)
Chorus. Jove in his chair, &c.
OR, THE ORPHAN PROTECTED;
Pie. Knew what? How you fix your eyes on Scene I.-A Room in the palace of Harancour.-A thatwhole-length portrait of a Boy hangs in the centre Dup. Do I? of the room.
Pié. Yes; you never pass through the room
without pausing on that portrait. Enter DUPRE and PIERRE.
Dup. Not half an hour ago, I saw him start from Dup. Don't you be so inquisitive.
his frame, and stand before me. Pié. Don't you be so sarly.
Pie. What do yon mean? Are you crazy? Dup. I won't be tormented.
Dup. I believe, it was only a dream. Perhaps Pie. Come, come, Dupré ; fellow-servants should he lives. be communicative, and tell one another every thing Pie. Lives! what lives? Why, look, man, 'lis that passes in the family.
but a picture. Dup. And, if they did, woe betide some families.
Enter DARLEMONT. Pie. Dupré, what is the meaning of all this Dar. How now? What are you doing? mystery?
Pie. Only looking at this picture, sir. Dup. Why do you nail your eyes on me thus ? I Dar. That picture! and why are you looking at won't be wormed and sifted. What is it you want it? to pick out of me?
Pie. By Dupré's account, it ought to be a miracle ; Pie. I want to know the meaning of your private he says, he saw it start from its frame, and stand nterviews with my master's father: admitted to his before him. loset, doors locked, cautionings—whisperings. Dar. Fellow! take care, take care; I have my suspicions. Pie. Why, didn't you say so, Dupré ? Dup. Saspicions! of what?
Dar. Begone! [Exit Pierre.] Are you mad, Pie. Of no good, I promise you.
Dupré ? Dup. Why, what do you suspect ?
Dup. Almost, I am. Pie. To be plain with you, that you are aiding Dar. How dare you bint at what must be eternd abetting your old master to make his son, my nally concealed ? oung master, miserable: in short, you are making Dup. Dare? The sinner dreads no tyrant but his
match for him with the first President's daughter, own conscience. gainst bis will.
Dar. Let that portrait be removed. Dup. Oh! is that all you know?
Dup. No, that it never shall be. Pie. All! and isn't that enough?
Dar. Ha! Dup. Yes-no; I could almost wish the whole Dup. Frown on : there it shall remain, and daily orld knew-Ab! (Looking at the portrait.) haunt us,
Dar. Again this insolence? Romember, villain, improper medioines were administered to him, or that you are my slave.
that his constitution sunk under the efforts for his Dup. I do; and I remember, too, that you are cure, I know not; but there, in a short time, he mine : accomplices in guilt are, of necessity, the died in the arms of Dupré, who accompanied my slaves of each other.
father on this journey. Dar. I must contain myself. (Aside.) I see, I Pie. Tbat's the secret; now I vo longer wonder, see, Dupré, that neither my gifts, nor my promises, that I so often catch Dupré gazing on that picture have satisfied you ; however, I have been tbinking of the young Count. of you : leave me. You will soon find that you St. A. Do you ? 'Tis only natural in him : this are not forgotten.
youth was the last remaining branch of an illustrious Dup. I wish I were ; but you and I can never be family, which Dupré had long faithfully served. forgotten; even in the grave we shall be remem- | My por Julio! He once saved my life; how bered, only to be cursed, despised, and hated. (Exit. bravely he exposed himself for me! Never, never
Dar. Must I hold wealth, reputation, nay, life will his image quit my heart. I see him at the moitself, perhaps, at the disposal of this dotard ? ment of his departure ; dumb as he was, his form His slave! While he spoke it, audacious as the rep- spoke moving eloquence; every look was so affectile toad, he dared to fix his brazen eyes upon me. tionate, every action so expressive! Dear, dear, Let him accuse. Am I not Darlemont, possessor lamented Julio! he crushed me into his very heart, of the fortune and the power of Harancour? Where as if he had foreknown, and would have told me, is the man who will venture to support his accusa- that that embrace was to be our last. Ah! were tion?
he pow alive, I should enjoy his tender and endear. Re-enter Pierre.
ing friendship; and my father, less opulent, would Besides, my son's marriage with the President's not then oppose my anion with Marianne. daughter, will, I hope Why are you loitering Pie. But you say, sir, you have never get told there?
[in. this lady that you love her; how, then, do you Pie. Sir, I am only waiting till my master comes
know what ber thoughts of you may be? Dar. What, is he abroad so early? Something
St. A. I cannot mistake them: our mutual tredisturbs him.
mours when we meet; my faultering voice, ber Pie. Yes, sir; indeed, something or other seems downcast eyes; and other thousand, thousand delito disturb every soul in the house. (Going.)
cious proofs of sympathizing thoughts. Dar. What's that you say ? Come bither, Pierre;
Pie. You know best, sir; but, for my part, I you know the deference due to your master's father; should wish for more substantial proofs; besides, be faithful, and you shall profit by it. I must have her motherno prying-mark me, no babbling; talk not of me, St. A. Born of a noble family, is, if possible, nor my atiairs. As for Dupré, at times, you see, more haughty than my father; but her son has a he raves; he has lost his senses; be grows old. complete empire over her affections: be is my Pie. In your service, sir.
friend; he cannot but have discovered that I love Dar. And, therefore, what would be panished in his sister; and, as our intimacy daily strengthens, another, I overlook in him. Pay no regard to his I must presuine that he approves my pretensions. wanderings, except, observe me, should you think Dom. (Without.) I'll just deliver my message my. them extraordinary, to inform me of them ;--me self. alone, no other, not even my son. I bave my rea- Pie. Hosh! here comes their gossiping footman, sons; which are not for you to inquire into. Obey old Dominique. Now, sir, if you wish to know the me, and depend on my bounty.
[Exiť. | lady's real sentiments, only let me set his tongue Pie. Your bounty? Humph! that may be well running, and he will tell you, in his own chuokling, enough; but the devil take your pride. A few
all that he sees, and hears. years ago, this grand signior was but a petty mer
Enter DOMINIQUE. chant; and now
Ha! Good morning, friend Dominique. What Enter ST. ALME.
brings you to our house? St. A. Was not that my father?
Dom. Good day, good day, friend! So, sir! (to Pie. Yes, sir; you seem as much rulled as he St. Alme) you're an early stirrer. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
I saw you just now, I saw you; ha, ba, ha! St. A. My soul is on the rack ; yet, I am re- St. X. Saw me? solved: this hated marriage never can, never shall Dom. Yes, I did; pacing backwards and for take place. No; never, never will I renounce wards, under my young lady's window; ha, ha, ha! thee, my lovely Marianne!
St. A. I was only taking the morning air, I do Pie. Then, sir, you must renounce your father's assure you, Dominique. favout and fortune.
Dom. Ha, ha, ha!
Domidaughter of a man, whose memory is honoured and nique? beloved? The sister of a man of virtae and of ta- Dom. Why, that I'd take the morning air my. lents ?-of Franval, the most renowned advocate self, old as I am, if I hoped to see a young, bloomof Toulouse?
ing, lovely_ha, ha, ha!--But, no, fast as a chareb; Pie. True, sir; but his talents are the only de- she was up till two o'clock this morning practising pendenee of her and her mother.
the song, that somebody made on her recovery (sig. St. A. While my father was but a merchant, he nificantly)-Ha, ha, ha! and at last went to bed, I would have thoughit himself honoured by my mar- dare say, only to dream of the author-ha, ha, ha! riage with the daughter of the Seneschal Franval; St. A. Your frankness and good bumour forbid but, since he has inherited the estates of his ne dissimulation; yes, Dominique, I adore your charmphew and ward, the unhappy Count of Harancour, ing mistress. his nature seems changed; and he now listens only Pie. Ay, that he does; the more's his misfors to the dictates of his ambition.
tune, Pie. Ab! the old servants of the family often Dom. Misfortune! and pray, sir, why so? talk of the young Count of Harancour; they say, Pie. Because I can see very well, and so do ron, he had the misfortune to be deaf and dumb. too, Dominique, that your young lady does not care
St. A. 'Tis true, he had. Poor boy! my father a straw for my master. took him to Paris about eight years ago, in hopes Dom. Yon can see it, can yon? Lord! what a that this afllietion might be removed; and, whether clear-sighted wiseacre thou art! Ha, ha, ha!