"tain't there, 'tain't here and 'tis there,' a-foolin' many a gawkin' chap outen his money. Wa'al, for years at all these races a little hoss named Waxy had been winnin' all the stakes every time. Bets war ten to one on him agin the whole track, an' he allers come out ahead. Wa'al, when I war a-workin' one day as usual with my thimbles, I noticed the ugliest, scrawniest, long-legged, sharp-hipped lookin' critter led on the track I ever saw; and he war called Wee Hawk. I soon found he war entered agin Waxy, and as the people thought it war for a joke, big odds war offered agin him. I looked him all over, an' though he war a hard-lookin' cuss of the hoss kind, I noticed thar war fire in his eye, an' he war winkin' like as if he'd been thar before. I looked at my pile, and thinks I to myself, 'Now if I bet on Waxy an' win, it won't amount to much; but if I bet on Wee Hawk an' win, I'll hev a pile worth talkin' of.' I looked agin at old Wee Hawk, an' seein' the fire in his eye a-flashin' more an' more, I concluded I'd risk it. Wa'al, when old Wee Hawk war brought out alongside Waxy, you oughter heard the gnyin' the crowd give his rider. 'Take 'im off,''Look out for crows,' 'Fasten some hay on a stick ahead of his nose,' and the like, war heard on every side. All this time Waxy war prancin' around, everybody feelin' sure he'd win. Wa'al, as I war a-sayin', when they war led out to start, Wee Hawk began to ruffle his feathers, and, as the sayin' is, 'snuff the battle from afar,' an' it took three men to hold him. An' when the jedge said 'Go!' you oughter seen old Wee Hawk a-straightenin' out his long legs an' neck, an' lightin' out as if he war another Pegasus or Hippogriff, which, as I've heard, war great racin' hosses in old times. Waxy war nowbar, an' come out more than six lengths behind Wee Hawk. The fellers who had been yellin' to give him to the crows war not crowin' so much when they found they had to hand over to me, and it war the worst beat crowd you ever saw. Wa'al now, Mr. Wise, I never did see a man look so much like a hoss as you do like Wee Hawk; an' though I can't vote for you, I'll bet my pile on you."

Mr. Wise laughed heartily at the comparison, and the result soon proved that the "fire war thar." W. F. WISE.

AN ANECDOTE OF ROBERT BRECKINRIDGE'S YOUTH. THIS amusing anecdote was told me a few years ago by an intimate friend of the noted divine:

It seems that Dr. Robert Breckinridge lost his father in his early childhood, so that his training was left entirely to his mother, who was a little woman with a large mind and wonderful will power; consequently she and her son Robert often had cause for disagreement, when she not infrequently came out second best. When he was about five, one of these encounters occurred. One day, when Mrs.

Breckinridge was particularly busy, Robert or course became unusually rampagious.

His mother stood him as long as possible, then she said, "Robert, if you do or say another crooked thing this evening, I will punish you well, sir."”

She left, and heard nothing more from him for some hours, when, on going upstairs, she stumbled upon Robert, whom she saw lying on the top stair twisted in the most horrible shape. His face was frightfully drawn as though in pain, and he muttered something inaudibly. Mrs. B. became greatly alarmed, and called a servant to carry the child to her room. There she begged him to tell her, if he could, what hurt him, whereupon he jumped up in bed, laughed in her face, and shrieked, "Ram's horn!-ram's horn! You told me, mamma, if I said or did another crooked thing you would punish me, and I have said and done the crookedest I know-ram's horn. So there!" So saying, he got up and fled.

The sequel to the story I did not hear, but let us hope that when Mrs. Breckinridge caught him he received the whipping he so richly deserved. From what I have heard of her character, I think he did. CABELLA.

SOMETHING NEW IN THE LAW.

SENATOR VANCE claims that the people of North Carolina are the most law-abiding people in the world, and to prove it tells of a newly appointed justice of the peace who on a public occasion, when a fight was about to commence, commanded the peace, and preserved it by rushing between two combatants, drawing a knife a foot in length, and threatening instant death to the man that should violate the public peace.

I know (writes a correspondent) of an incident which illustrates admirably the love of justice which animates our excellent body of magistrates, as well as their ingenuity in threading the mazes of the law, and arriving at its true meaning and intent.

A newly appointed J. P. in one of our eastern counties was trying a civil case of much difficulty, in which the law appeared to be involved in considerable doubt. On one side was Lawyer B, contending that the law was dead in favor of his client; on the other was Lawyer H-, who was equally as positive that the law was clearly on the other side. The Court was in great doubt for a time, but a lucky idea occurred to its mind. "Gentlemen," said the Court, "the facts in this case are well ascertained, but the law seems to be doubtful. The attorneys on each side have stated what the law is, but they do not agree. The Court decides that as the facts are established by the oaths of witnesses, the law must be established in like manner. The Court requires each attorney to swear that the law is what he has asserted it to be."

One of the attorneys took the required oath

Our new J. P. declares that he has discovered a plan of getting at the truth of the law never thought of by Coke or Blackstone.

IN Bellevue Hospital, where patients are treated without charge, and at the expense of New York city, an old colored man was recently discharged after the cure of his knee, injured by falling down-stairs. He was very dignified and polite, and he took pride in his literary accomplishments. During his convalescence he spent much of the time in composing and sending letters to his friends outside. The following letter from him was received at the hospital after his discharge. It was addressed to his attending physician:

NEW YORK Sept -1884

MY DEAR DR.-It is with much Solicitude and Alacrity that has compelled me to take my pen in hand to write you these few lines hoping that you are into a perfect state of health and also very Supercilious. Sir, may I have the pleasure of asking you to Pardon and Forgive me of my Stubbornness: in leaving the

Hospital with out first having Seen you before taking my departure from the Institution. I was very sory after a-while in which I reflected thinking that you had been so kind to me during my sickness that I must truly say without the least Adulation that your Dexterity and Illustrious duty was quite attentive to me: at the time at which the Operation took place and after; however Dr. William: please when it is commodious to your complacency: I will be very much obliged. My Hypothesis leads me to think there is still a little disconnection in my knee but I has at present a very strong momentum, although at night and morning it pains me with very much Acrimony. Doctor I hope you are not angry with me for there is no ungratefulness on my part. If there is, I beg to be excused at that time when I leaved the ward I was not into a proper state of my mind owing to that it is over one year since the injury of my knee, and what little moneys I had it was all spent so I was non compus mentus at that time. Dr. William I wish you a happy valediction at Christmas and I also hope that where you sojourn or where your domicile is I hope also that you may have as many cases and practise that you can attend to

"Hills," as he called his place, when the following conversation ensued:

"Well, Sam, what do you think?" "Sometimes one thing, jedge, an' sometimes 'nother."

"But, Sam, they have nominated me as County Judge."

"They might 'a done wuss, jedge. Howsomenever, don't holler till yer outen the woods."

The judge was duly elected, and on his next visit to the Hills thereafter announced the fact unctuously to Sam, who was in the woods, maul in hand.

"Well, Sam, I am elected by a large majority. What do you think of that?”

"Well, jedge, down in our parts where I was raised, when we wanted a stopper, 'n' hadn' any cork, we ginnerally took a corn cob." The judge passed on; Sam resumed his mauling.

I VENTURE (says a correspondent) to send you a pure specimen of crushing contemptuous

scorn.

In our lunatic asylum at Swe had, a few years ago, as medical superintendent and general manager, a pompous, self-sufficient old doctor with a very gushing manner and great obsequiousness to any visitor whom he might deem worth cultivating. It was more than suspected that this paternal and benevolent manner did not always characterize his intercourse with the patients, but was donned only on state occasions.

He had several hobbies, and would bore a visitor dreadfully with his overdone politeness and unceasing stream of talk about the institution and his wonderful management thereof.

On one occasion, after having been trotted all over the building by him to my great disgust, as I had called on business, and my time was precious, we were approaching his own private apartments, and on opening a door discovered a young woman of quiet, lady-like appearance seated in a small parlor, and gazing through the window, with a fixed expression of weary sadness, on the beautiful view of woods and lawn and river without.

I did not realize she was a patient, and there was no occasion whatever for the doctor to disturb her. He spoke to her, however, in his blandest way, no doubt with a view of properly impressing me, and said, "Well, Jane, and how are we this morning?"

She did not reply, but continued her sad and touching gaze.

He repeated the question, and added, "Come, Jane, surely you know who I am?"

She dropped the arm which had supported her head, turned slowly to look at him, and said, with a sigh of weary scorn, "Oh yes; you -you are the urbane and gentlemanly superintendent."

The doctor and I left immediately.

Tony. "No OFFENSE; BUT QUESTION FOR QUESTION IS ALL FAIR, YOU KNOW."-She Stoops to Conquer, Act I., Scene 2. From drawing by E. A. Abbey.