ing out of the bondage of a virgin state-A woman cann't do what she will properly, 'till she's married. Sir Har. Did you hear what she said to your wife? Enter Aunt, before a service of dishes. Aunt. So, Mr Bridegroom, pray take that napkin, and serve your spouse to-day, according to custom. Humph. Mrs Clerimont, pray know my aunt. Mrs Cler. Madam, I must beg your pardon; I cann't possibly like all that vast load of meat that you are sending in to table-besides, 'tis so offensvely sweet, it wants that haut-goût we are so delighted with in France. Aunt. You'll pardon it, since we did not expect you. Who is this? [Aside. Mrs Cler. Oh, madam, I only speak for the future, little saucers are so much more polite— Look ye, I'm perfectly for the French way, whene'er I'm admitted, I take the whole upon me. Sir Har. The French, madam!—I'd have you to know Mrs Cler. You'll not like it at first, out of a natural English sullenness, but that will come upon you by degrees-When I first went into France, I was mortally afraid of a frog, but in a little time I could eat nothing else, except sallads. Aunt. Eat frogs! have I kiss'd one that has eat frogs-paw! paw! Mrs Cler. Oh, madam—A frog and a sallad are delicious fare-'tis not long come up in France itself, but their glorious monarch has introduced the diet which makes 'em so spiritual-He eradicated all gross food by taxes, and for the glory of the monarch sent the subject a-grazing; but I fear I defer the entertainment and diversion of the day. Humph. Now, father, uncle-before we go any further, I think 'tis necessary we know who and who's together then I give either of you two hours to guess which is my wife'tis not my cousin so far I'll tell you. -And Sir Har. How! What do you say? But oh! -you mean she is not your cousin now-she's nearer a-kin; that's well enough--Well said, Numps-Ha, ha, ha! Humph. Oh ho! what, beat a married man! hold him, Mr Clerimont, brother Pounce, Mr Wife; nobody stand by a young married man! [Runs behind FAINLOVE. Sir Har. Did not the dog say, brother Pounce? What, is this Mrs Ragoût-this Madam Clerimont? Who the devil are you all, but especially who the devil are you two? [Beats HUMPHRY and FAINLOVE off the stage, foliowing. Tip. [Aside.] Master Pounce, all my niece's fortune will be demanded now for I suppose that red-coat has her-Don't you think that you and I had better break. Pounce. You may as soon as you please, but 'tis my interest to be honest a little longer. Tip. Well, Biddy, since you would not accept of your cousin, I hope you ha'n't disposed of yourself elsewhere. Niece. If you'll for a little while suspend your curiosity, you shall have the whole history of my amour, to this my nuptial day, under the title of the loves of Clerimont and Parthenissa. Tip. Then, madam, your portion is in safe hands Capt. Come, come, old gentleman, 'tis in vain to contend; here's honest Mr Pounce shall be my engineer, and I warrant you, we beat you out of all your holds. Aunt. What, then, is Mr Pounce a rogue? he must have some trick, brother; it cannot be; he must have cheated t'other side, for I'm sure he's honest. [Apart to TIPKIN. Cler. Sen. Mr Pounce, all your sister has won of this lady she has honestly put into my hands, and I'll return it her, at this lady's particular request. [TO POUNCE. Pounce. And the thousand pounds you promised in your brother's behalf, I'm willing should be hers also. Capt. Then go in, and bring 'em all back to make the best of an ill game; we'll eat the dinner and have a dance together, or we shall transgress all form. Re-enter FAINLOVE, HUMPHRY, and Sir HARRY. Sir Har. Well, since you say you are worth something, and the boy has set his heart upon you, I'll have patience till I see further. Pounce. Come, come, Sir Harry, you shall find my alliance more considerable than you imagine; the Pounces are a family that will always have money, if there's any in the world--Come, fiddlers. [Dance here. Capt. You've seen th' extremes of the domes tic life, EPILOGUE. BRITONS, who constant war, with factious rage, The songs, (their selves confess,) from Rome they bring, And 'tis high mass, for aught you know, they sing. Husbands, take care! the danger may come nigher, The women say their eunuch is a friar.. But is it not a serious ill to see Europe's great arbiters so mean can be; Passive, with an affected joy to sit, Suspend their native taste of manly wit; Neglect their comic humour, tragic rage, For known defects of Nature, and of age? Arise, from shame, ye conquering Britons, rise! Let Anna's soil be known for all its charms; THE CONSCIOUS LOVERS. BY STEELE. PROLOGUE. To win your hearts and to secure your praise The praise he seeks from worthier motives springs, Such praise, as praise to those that give it brings. Your aid, most humbly sought, then Britons lend, And lib'ral mirth like lib'ral men defend; Ye modest, wise, and good! ye fair! ye brave! To-night the champion of your virtues save, Redeem from long contempt the comic name, And judge politely for your country's fame. ACT I. SCENE I.-Sir JOIN BEVIL's House. Humph. Yes, sir: I believ'd you had something of moment to say to me. Sir J. B. Let me see, Humphrey; I think it is now full forty years, since I first took thee to be about myself. Humph. I think, sir, it has been an easy forty years, and I have pass'd 'em without much sickness, care, or labour. Sir J. B. Thou hast a brave constitution: you are a year or two older than I am, sirrah. Humph. You have ever been of that mind, sir. Sir J. B. You knave, you know it; I took thee for thy gravity and sobriety in my wild years. Humph. Ah, sir! our manners were form'd from our different fortunes, not our different ages: wealth gave a loose to your youth, and poverty put a restraint upon mine. Sir J. B. Well, Humphrey, you know I have been a kind master to you; I have us'd you, for the ingenuous nature I observed in you from the beginning, more like an humble friend than a servant. Humph. I humbly beg you'll be so tender of me as to explain your commands, sir, without any farther preparation. Sir J. B. I'll tell thee, then. In the first place, this wedding of my son's in all probability (shut the door) will never be at all. Humph. How, sir, not be at all! for what reason is it carried on in appearance? with whom he converses, that he is never assuming, never prefers himself to others, nor is ever guil ty of that rough sincerity which a man is not called to, and certainly disobliges most of his ac quaintance. To be short, Humphrey, his repu tation was so fair in the world, that old Sealand, the great India merchant, has offer'd his only daughter, and sole heiress to that vast estate of his, as a wife for him. You may be sure I made no difficulties; the match was agreed on, and this very day named for the wedding. Humph. What hinders the proceeding? Sir J. B. Don't interrupt me. You know I was, last Thursday, at the masquerade; my son, you may remember, soon found us out-he knew his grand-father's habit, which I then wore; and though it was in the mode in the last age, yet the maskers, you know, follow'd us as if we had been the most monstrous figures in that whole assembly. Humph. I remember, indeed, a young man of quality in the habit of a clown that was particularly troublesome. Sir J. B. Right-he was too much what he seem'd to be. You remember how impertinently he follow'd and teased us, and' would know who we were. Humph. I know he has a mind to come into that particular. [Aside. Sir J. B. Ay, he followed us till the gentleman who led the lady in the Indian mantle présented that gay creature to the rustic, and bid him (like Cymon in the fable) grow polite, by falling in love, and let that worthy old gentleman alone, meaning me. The clown was not reform'd, but rudely persisted, and offer'd to force off my mask; Sir J. B. Honest Humphrey, have patience, and with that the gentleman throwing off his own, I'll tell thee all in order. I have myself in some appeared to be my son, and in his concern for part of my life lived indeed with freedom, but I me, tore off that of the nobleman: at this they hope without reproach: now I thought liberty seized each other, the company called the guards, would be as little injurious to my son, therefore and in the surprise the lady swoon'd away; upon as soon as he grew towards man I indulg'd him which my son quitted his adversary, and had now in living after his own manner. I know not how no care but of the lady-when raising her in otherwise to judge of his inclination; for what his arms," Art thou gone," cry'd he, "for ever can be concluded from a behaviour under re--forbid it, Heav'n!"-She revives at his known straint and fear? But what charms me above all expression is, that my son has never in the least action, the most distant hint or word, valued himself upon that great estate of his mother's, which, according to our marriage-settlement, he has had ever since he came to age. Humph. No, sir; on the contrary, he seems afraid of appearing to enjoy it before you or any belonging to you. He is as dependent and resign'd to your will as if he had not a farthing but what must come from your immediate bounty, You have ever acted like a good and generous father, and he like an obedient and grateful son. Sir J. B. Nay, his carriage is so easy to all voice-and with the most familiar, though modest gesture, hangs in safety over his shoulders weeping, but wept as in the arms of one before whom she could give herself a loose, were she not under observation: while she hides her face in his neck, he carefully conveys her from the in France. Now this unexpected and public discovery of my son's so deep concern for herHumph. Was what, I suppose, alarm'd Mr Sealand, in behalf of his daughter, to break off the match. Sir J. B. You are right-he came to me yesterday, and said he thought himself disengaged from the bargain, being credibly informed my son was already marry'd, or worse, to the lady at the masquerade. I palliated matters, and insisted on our agreement: but we parted with little less than a direct breach between us. Humph. Well, sir, and what notice have you taken of all this to my young master? Sir J. B. That's what I wanted to debate with you-I have said nothing to him yet-But look ye, Humphrey, if there is so much in this amour his that he denies upon my summons to marry, I have cause enough to be offended; and then, by my insisting upon his marrying to-day, I shall know how far he is engaged to this lady in masquerade, and from thence only shall be able to take my measures; in the mean time, I would have you find out how far that rogue his man is let into his secret-he, I know, will play tricks as much to cross me as to serve his master. Humph. Why do you think so of him, sir? I believe he is no worse than I was for you at your son's age. Sir J. B. I see it in the rascal's looks. But I have dwelt on these things too long: I'll go to my son immediately, and while I'm gone, your part is to convince his rogue, Tom, that I am in earnest. I'll leave him to you. Exit. Humph. Well, tho' this father and son live as well together as possible, yet their fear of giving each other pain is attended with constant mutual uneasiness. I am sure I have enough to do to be honest, and yet keep well with them both; but they know I love 'em, and that makes the task less painful however.-Oh, here's the prince of poor coxcombs, the representative of all the better fed than taught!-Ho, ho, Tom! whither so,gay and so airy this morning? Enter TOM, singing. Tom. Sir, we servants of single gentlemen are another kind of people than you domestic ordinary drudges that do business; we are rais'd above you: the pleasures of board wages, taverndinners, and many a clear gain; vails, alas! you never heard or dreamt of. for Humph. Thou hast follies and vices enough a man of ten thousand a-year, tho' it is but as t'other day that I sent for you to town to put you into Mr Sealand's family, that you might learn a little before I put you to my young master, who is too gentle for training such a rude thing a as you were into proper obedience.- -You then pull'd off your hat to every one you met in the street, Jike a bashful, great, awkward cub as you were. But your great oaken cudgel, when you were a booby, became you much better than that dangling stick at your button, now you are fop, that's fit for nothing except it hangs there 8 to be ready for your master's hand when you are impertinent. Tom. Uncle Humphrey, you know my master scorns to strike his servants; you talk as if the world was now just as it was when my old master and you were in your youth-when you went to dinner because it was so much o'clock, when the great blow was given in the hall at the pantry door, and all the family came out of their holes in such strange dresses and formal faces as you see in the pictures in our long gallery in the country. Humph. Why, you wild rogue! Tom. You could not fall to your dinner till a formal fellow in a black gown said something over the meat, as if the cook had not made it ready enough. Humph. Sirrah, who do you prate after?despising men of sacred characters! I hope you never heard my young master talk so like a profligate. Tom. Sir, I say you put upon me when I first came to town about being orderly, and the doctrine of wearing shams to make linen last clean a fortnight, keeping my clothes fresh, and wearing a frock within doors.. Humph. Sirrah, I gave you those lessons be cause I suppos'd at that time your master and you might have din'd at home every day, and cost you nothing; then you might have made you a good family servant; but the gang you have frequented since at chocolate-houses and taverns, in a continual round of noise and extra vagance Tom. I don't know what you heavy inmates call noise and extravagance; but we gentlemen who are well fed, and cut a figure, sir, think it a fine life, and that we must be very pretty fellows who are kept only to be looked at. Humph. Very well, sir-I hope the fashion of being lewd and extravagant, despising of decency and order, is almost at an end, since it is arrived at persons of your quality. queer Tom. Master Humphrey, ha, ha! you were an unhappy lad to be sent up to town in such days as you were. Why now, sir, the lackeys are the men of pleasure of the age, the top gamesters; and many a laced coat about town have had their education in our party-colour'd regiment.-We are false lovers, have a taste of music, poetry, billet-doux, dress, politics, ruin damsels; and when we are weary of this lewd town, and have a mind to take up, whip into our masters' wigs and linen, and marry fortunes. Humph. Hey-day! Tom. Nay, sir, our order is carried up to the highest dignities and distinctions: step but into the Painted Chamber-and by our titles you'd take us all for men of quality-then again, come down to the Court of Requests, and you shall see us all laying our broken heads together, for the good of the nation; and though we never carry a question nemine contradicente, yet, this. I can say with a safe conscience, (and I wish every gentleman of our cloth could lay his hand upon his |