DESCRIPTION OF AN AUTHOR'S BEDCHAMBER. WHERE the Red Lion flaring o'er the way, Invites each passing stranger that can pay; Where Calvert's butt, and Parsons' black champagne, Regale the drabs and bloods of Drury-lane; 5 There in a lonely room, from bailiffs snug, The Muse found Scroggen stretch'd beneath a rug; A window, patch'd with paper, lent a ray, That dimly show'd the state in which he lay; The sanded floor that grits beneath the tread; 10 The humid wall with paltry pictures spread: The royal game of goose was there in view, And the twelve rules the royal martyr drew; The seasons, fram'd with listing, found a place, And brave prince William show'd his lamp-black face: 15 The morn was cold, he views with keen desire The rusty grate unconscious of a fire; With beer and milk arrears the frieze was scor'd, And five crack'd teacups dress'd the chimney board; A nightcap deck'd his brows instead of bay. 20 A cap by night-a stocking all the day! 5 10 15 20 THE DOUBLE TRANSFORMATION. A TALE. SECLUDED from domestic strife, Jack Book-worm led a college life; A fellowship at twenty-five Made him the happiest man alive; He drank his glass and cracked his joke, Such pleasures, unalloy'd with care, Could Cupid's shaft at length transfix O had the archer ne'er come down To ravage in a country town! Miss frown'd, and blush'd, and then was-married. Need we expose to vulgar sight The raptures of the bridal night? 25 30 35 40 45 50 Let it suffice, that each had charms; The honey-moon like lightning flew, The fifth was friendship mix'd with bliss: But still the worst remain'd behind, Skill'd in no other arts was she, 'Tis true she dress'd with modern grace, But when at home, at board or bed, To be a dull domestic friend? Could any curtain-lectures bring To decency so fine a thing? In short, by night, 'twas fits or fretting; 55 60 65 70 75 Fond to be seen, she kept a bevy Of powder'd coxcombs at her levy; The 'squire and captain took their stations, Jack suck'd his pipe, and often broke A sigh in suffocating smoke; While all their hours were pass'd between Thus as her faults each day were known, Or thins her lip, or points her nose: How wide her mouth, how wild her eyes! He knows not how, but so it is, Her face is grown a knowing phiz; And, though her fops are wond'rous civil, Now, to perplex the ravell'd noose, Promis'd to hold them on for life, And, rifling ev'ry youthful grace, 80 Left but the remnant of a face. The glass, grown hateful to her sight, Reflected now a perfect fright: Each former art she vainly tries To bring back lustre to her eyes. 85 In vain she tries her paste and creams, To smooth her skin, or hide its seams; Her country beaux and city cousins, Lovers no more, flew off by dozens: The 'squire himself was seen to yield, 90 And even the captain quit the field. Poor Madam, now condemn'd to hack 95 Jack soon was dazzl'd to behold For tawdry finery is seen 100 A person ever neatly clean : No more presuming on her sway, |