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Fan. Thy art! prithee, no more of that.- Sir Geo. What dost thou think? Look ye, I know you are a cheat as much as I Abi. Think, sir! think !—Troth I don't know am. And if thou'lt keep my counsel, I'll give what to think. Pray, sir, howthee ten broad pieces.
Sir Geo. No questions, good Abigail ; thy cuSir Geo. I am not mercenary. Young man, I riosity shall be satisfied in due time. Where's scorn thy gold. Fan. rii make them up twenty
Abi. Oh, I'm so frighted—and so gladSir Geo. Avaunt! and that quickly, or I'll Sir Geo. Where's your lady, I ask you ? raise such an apparition as shall
Abi. Marry, I don't know where I am myself Fan. An apparition, old gentleman! you - I can't forbear weeping for joymistake your man; I'm not to be frighted with Sir Geo. Your lady? I say, your lady? I must bugbears!
bring you to yourself with one pinch more. Sir Geo. Let me retire but for a few moments, Abi
. Oh, she has been talking a good while and I will give thee such a proof of my art with the steward.
Fan. Why, if thou hast any hocus-pocus tricks Sir Geo. Then he has opened the whole story to play, why canst thou not do them here? to her. I'm glad he has prepared her. Oh,
Sir Geo. The raising of a spirit requires cer- here she comes ! tain secret mysteries to be performed, and words to be muttered in private
Enter Lady Trueman, followed by VELLUM. Fan. Well, if I see through your trick, will Lady True. Where is he? Let me fly into his you promise to be my friend?
life ! my soul ! my husband! Sir Geo. I will — Attend and tremble ! Sir Geo. Oh, let me catch thee to my heart,
[Erit. dearest of women! Fan. A very solemn old ass! but I smoke Lady True. Are you, then, still alive, and are him-he has a mind to raise his price upon me. you here! I can scarce believe my senses ! Now I could not think this slut would have used me am I happy indeed! thus. I begin to grow horribly tired of my drum. Sir Geo. My heart is too full to answer thee. I wish I was well rid of it. However, I have Lady True. Was ever woman so blessed ! to got this by it, that it has driven off Tinsel for find again the darling of her soul, when she good and all : I shan't have the mortification to thought him lost for ever! to enter into a kind see my mistress carried off by such a rival.- of second marriage with the only man, whom she Well, whatever happens, I must stop this old was ever capable of loving ! fellow's mouth; I must not be sparing in hush- Sir Geo. May it be as happy as our first! I money. But here he comes.
desire no more. Believe me, my dear, I want Enter Sır GEORGE in his own habit.
words to express those transports of joy and ten
derness, which are every moment rising in my Ha! what's that ! Sir George Trueman! This heart whilst I speak to thee. can be no counterfeit. His dress, his shape, his face, the very wound of which he died! Nay,
Enter Seroants. then, 'tis time to decamp.
But. Just as the steward told us, lads! Look Sir Geo. Ha, ha, ha! Fare you well, good sir you there, if he ben't with my lady already! George. The enemy has left me master of the Gard. He, he, he! what a joyful night will field, here are the marks of my victory. This this be for madam. drum will I hang up in my great hall, as the tro- Coach. As I was coming in at the gate, a phy of the day.
strange gentleman whisked by me; but he took Enter ABIGAIL.-SIR GEORGE stands with his I did not see master before me, I should have
to his heels, and made away to the George. If hand before his face, in a musing posture.
sworn it had been his honour ! Abi. Yonder he is. O my conscience, he has Gard. Hast thou given orders for the bells to driven off the conjurer! Mr Fantome, Mr Fan- | be set a ringing ? tome ! I give you joy, I give you joy! What do Coach. Never trouble thy head about thát; it you think of your thousand pounds now? Why is done. does not the man speak?
Sir Geo. [To LADY TRUEMAN.] My dear, I [Pulls him by the sleeve. long as much to tell you my whole story, as you Sir Geo. Ha!
do to hear it. In the mean while, I am to look [Taking his hands from his face. upon this as my wedding-day. I'll have nothing Abi. Oh 'tis my master !
[Shrieks. but the voice of mirth and feasting in my house. [Running away, he catches her. My poor neighbours and my servants shall reSir Geo. Good Mrs Abigail, not so fast. joice with me. My hall shall be free to every
Abi. Are you alive, sir? He has given my one, and let my cellars be thrown open. shoulder such a cursed tweak! they must be real But. Ah, bless your honour, may you never fingers; I feel them, I'm sure,
Coach. The same good man that he ever was. Sir Geo. Vellum, I hope you are not displeaGard. Whurra!
sed with the gift I make you? Sir Geo. Vellum, thou hast done me much ser- Vel. The gift is two-fold. I receive from you vice to-day. I know thou lovest Abigail; but A virtuous partner, and a portion, coo; she's disappointed in a fortune. I'll make it up For which, in humble wise, I thank the to both of you. I'll give thee a thousand pounds
donours : with her. It is not fit there should be one sad And so we bid good-night to both your heart in my house to-night.
ho-nours. Abi. Mr Vellum, you are a well-spoken man :
(Exeunt omnes pray, do you thank my master and my lady.
SCENE I.-A tavern.
why, she is the talk and pity of the whole town;
and it is the opinion of the learned, that she must COLONEL FAINWELL and FREEMAN oder
die a maid. a bottle.
Col. Say you so ? That's somewhat odd, in this Free. Come, colonel, his majesty's health. You charitable city. She's a woman, ! hope? are as melancholy as if you were in love! I wish Free. For aught I know, but it had been as some of the beauties of Bath han't snapt your well for her, had nature made her any other part heart.
of the creation. The man who keeps this house Col. Why, faith, Freeman, there is something served her father; he is a very honest fellow, in't; I have seen a lady at Bath, who has kindled and may be of use to you; we'll send for him to such a flame in me, that all the waters there can't take a glass with us : he'll give you her whole quench.
history, and 'tis worth your hcaring. Free. Women, like some poisonous animals, Col. But may one trust hiin? carry their antidote aboat them-Is she not to Free. With your life : I have obligations be bad, colonel ?
enough upon him to make him do any thing: I Col. That's a difficult question to answer; how- serve him with wine.
Knocks. ever, I resolve to try: perhaps you may be able Col. Nay, I know him very well myself. I to serve me; you merchants know one another. once used to frequent a club that was kept here. The lady told me herself she was under the charge of four persons.
Draw. Gentlemen, d’ye
Col. Do you know any of this lady's guardians, she might be sure never to do so, he left her Freeman ?
in the care of four men, as opposite to each Free. Yes, I know two of them
ly rule, and three months in a year she is obliged
to be subject to each of their humours, and they Enter SACKBUT.
are pretty different, I assure you. She is just Here comes one will give you an account of come from Bath. them all. Mr Sackbut, we sent for you to take Col. 'Twas there I saw her. a glass with us. 'Tis a maxim among the friends Sack. Aye, sir; the last quarter was her beau of the bottle, that as long as the master is in guardian's. She appears in all public places ducompany, one may be sure of good wine. ring his reign.
Sack. Sir, you shall be sure to have as good Col. She visited a lady who hoarded in the wine as you send in. Colonel, your most hum- same house with me: I liked her person, and ble servant; you are welcome to town.
found an opportunity to tell her so." She repliCol. I thank you, Mr Sackbut.
ed, she had no objection to mine; but if I could Sack. I am as glad to see you as I should a not reconcile contradictions, I must not think of hundred tun of French claret, custom free. My her; for that she was condemned to the caprice service to you, sir. [Drinks.] You don't look of four persons, who never yet agreed in any one so merry as you used to do; arn't you well, co- thing, and she was obliged to please them all. lonel?
Sack. 'Tis most true, sir; I'll give you a short Free. He has got a woman in his head, land- description of the men, and leave you to judge lord; can you help him?
of the poor lady's condition. One is a kind of Sack. If 'tis in my power, 1 shan't scruple to virtuoso; a silly, half-witted fellow, but positive my friend.
and surly, fond of every thing antique and foCol. 'Tis one perquisite of your calling. reign, and wears his clothes of the fashion of the
Sack. Aye, at t'other end of the town, where last century; doats upon travellers, and believes you officers use, women are good forcers of more of sir John Mandeville than he does of the trade; a well-customed house, a handsome bar- Bible. keeper, with clean, obliging drawers, soon get the Col. That must be a rare odd fellow ! master an estate; but our citizens seldom do Sack. Another is a 'Change-broker; a fellow any thing but cheat within the walls. But as that will out-lye the devil for the advantage of to the lady, colonel; point you at particulars? or stock, and cheat his father that got him, in a have you a good Champagne stomach ? Are you bargain : he is a great stickler for trade, and in full pay, or reduced, colonel ?
hates every man that wears a sword. Col. Reduced, reduced, landlord.
Free. He is a great admirer of the Dutch maFree. To the miserable condition of a lover! nagement, and swears they understand trade
Sack. Pish! that's preferable to half-pay; a better than any nation under the sun. woman's resolution may break before the peace : Sack. The third is an old beau, that has May push her home, colonel ; there's no parlying with in his fancy and dress, but December in his face the fair sex.
and his heels: he admires all the new fashions, Col. Were the lady her own mistress, I have and those must be French; loves operas, balls, some reasons to believe I should soon command masquerades, and is always the most tawdry of in chief.
the whole company on a birth-day. Free. You know Mrs Lovely, Mr Sackbut? Col. These are pretty opposite to one another,
Sack. Know her! Aye, poor Nancy: I have truly; and the fourth, what is he, landlord ? carried her to school many a frosty morning. - Sack. A very rigid quaker, whose quarter beAlas! if she's the woman, I pity yon, colonel : gan this day. I saw Mrs Lovely go in, not aher father, my old master, was the most whimsi- bove two hours ago-sir Philip set her down.-cal, out-of-the-way tempered man I ever heard What think you now, colonel; is not the poor of, as you will guess by his last will and testa- lady to be pitied?
This was his only child: and I have Col. Aye, and rescued too, landlord. heard him wish her dead a thousand times.
Free. In my opinion, that's impossible. Col. Why so?
Col. There is nothing impossible to a lover.Sack. He hated posterity, you must know, and What would not a man attempt for a fine woman wished the world were to expire with himself.- and thirty thousand pounds? Besides, my honour He used to swear, if she had been a boy, he is at stake; I promised to deliver her, and she would have qualified him for the opera.
bid me win her and wear her. Free. 'Twas a very unnatural resolution in a Sack. That's fair, faith. father.
Free. If it depended upon knight-errantry, I Suck. He died worth thirty thousand pounds, should not doubt your setting free the damsel ; which he left to his daughter, provided she mar- but to have avarice, impertinence, hypocrisy, ried with the consent of her guardians; but that and pride, at once to deal with, requires more
cunning than generally attends a man of honour. / mind : but here's to your success, colonel. Col. My fancy tells me I shall come off with
[Drinks: glory. I am resolved to try, however. Do you Col. 'Tis something out of the way, I confess; know all the guardians, Mr Sackbut?
but fortune may chance to smile, and I succeedk Sack. Very well, sir; they all use my house. Come, landlord, let me see those clothes. Free
Col. And will you assist me, it occasion re- man, I shall expect you'll leave word with Mr quires ?
Sackbut where one may find you upon occasion ; Sack. In every thing I can, colonel.
and send my Indian equipage immediately; d'ye Free. I'll answer for him; and whatever I hear? serve you in, you may depend on. I know Mr Free. Immediately.
[Erit. Periwinkle and Mr Tradelove; the latter has a Col. Bold was the man who ventured first to very great opinion of my interest abroad. I
sea, happened to have a letter from a correspondent But the first venturing lovers bolder were. two hours before the news arrived of the French | The path of love's a dark and dangerous ways king's death : I communicated it to him: upon Without a landmark, or one friendly star, which he bought all the stock he could, and what And he that runs the risque deserves the fair. with that, and some wagers he laid, he told me
[Erit. he had got to the tune of five hundred pounds; so that I am much in his good graces.
SCENE II.-Prim's house. Col. I don't know but you may be of service to me, Freeman.
Enter Mrs Lovely, and her maid BETTY. Free. If I can, command me, colonel.
Col. Isn't it possible to find a suit of clothes Bet. Bless me, madam! Why do you fret and ready made at some of these sale-shops fit to rig tease yourself so ? This is giving them the advanout a bean, think you, Mr Sackbut?
tage, with a witness. Sack. O, bang them-No, colonel; they keep Mrs Love. Must I be condemned all my life nothing ready made that a gentleman would be to the preposterous humours of other people, and seen in: but I can fit you with a suit of clothes, pointed at by every boy in town? Oh! I could if you'd make a figure-Velvet and gold brocade tear my flesh, and curse the hour I was born-They were pawned to me by a French count, Isn't it monstrously ridiculous, that they should who had been stript at play, and wanted money desire to impose their quaking dress upon me at to carry him home; he promised to send for them, these years? When I was a child, no matter but I have not heard any thing of him.
what they made me wear; but nowFree. He has not fed upon frogs long enough Bet. I would resolve against it, madam; I'd yet to recover his loss; ha, ha!
see them hanged before I'd put on the pinched Col. Ha, ha! Well, the clothes will do, Mr cap again. Backbut; though we must have three or four fel- Mrs Love. Then I must never expect one molows in tawdry liveries: they can be procured, I ment's ease : she has rung such a peal in my ears hope?
already, that I shan't have the right use of them Free. Egad! I have a brother come from the this month. What can I do? West Indies that can match you; and, for expe
Bet. What can you not do, if you will but dition-sake, you shall have his servants: there's a give your mind to it? Marry, madam. black, a tawney-moor, and a Frenchmar; they Mrs Love. What! and have my fortune go to don't speak one word of English, so can make no build churches and hospitals ? mistake.
Bet. Why, let it go. If the colonel loves you, Col. Excellent! Egad! I shall look like an as he pretends, he'll marry you without a fortune, Indian prince. First, I'll attack my beau guar- madam; and, I assure you, a colonel's lady is no dian; where lives he?
despicable thing; a colonel's post will maintain Sack. Faith, somewhere about St James; you like a gentlewoman, madam. though, to say in what street, I cannot; but any Mrs Love. So, you would advise me to give chairman will tell you where sir Philip Mode- up my own fortune, and throw myself upon the love lives.
colonel's ? Free. Oh! you'll find him in the Park at ele- Bet. I would advise you to make yourself ven every day; at least, I never pass through at easy, madam. that hour without seeing him there. But what Mrs Love. That's not the way, I'm sure. No, do you intend ?
no, girl; there are certain ingredients to be min Col. To address him in his own way, and find gled with matrimony, without which I may as what he desigus to do with the lady.
well change for the worse as the better. When Free. And what then ?
the woman has fortune enough to make the man Col. Nay, that I cannot tell; but I shall take happy, if he has either honour or good manners, 'my measures accordingly.
he'll make her easy. Love makes but a slovenly Sack. Well, 'us a mad undertaking, in my figure in a house, where poverty keeps the door. VOL. II.