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1st Gent. Let it come where it will, I'll hold 2d Boy. Mr Humphry Hump is not her you fifty pounds 'tis false.
you'll find him upon the Dutch walk. Free. 'Tis done.
Trade. Mr Freeman, I give you many thanks 2d Gent. I'll lay you a brace of hundreds upon for your kindnessthe same.
Free. I fear you'll repent, when you know all. Free. I'll take vou.
[Aside 4th Stock. 'Egad, I'll hold twenty pieces 'tis Trade. Will you dine with me? not raised, sir.
Free. I'm engaged at Sack but's; adieu. Free. Done with you, too.
[Erit FREE. Trade. I'll lay any man a brace of thousands Trade. Sir, your humble servant. Now I'll see the siege is raised.
what I can do upon Change with my news. Free. The Dutch merchant is your man to
[Exit Trade take in.
[Aside to TRADELOVE. Trade. Does not he know the news?
SCENE II.—The tadern. Free. Not a syllable; if he did, he would bet a hundred thousand pounds as soon as one pen
Enter FREEMAN and COLONEL. ny; he's plaguy rich, and a mighty man at wa- Free. Ha, ha, ha! The old fellow swallowed gers.
TO TRADELOVE. the bait as greedily as a gudgeon. Trade. Say you so~'Egad, i'll bite him, if Col. I have him, faith, ha, ha, ha!-His two possible. Are you from Holland, sir?
thousand pounds secure-If he would keep his Col. Ya, mynheer.
money, he must part with the lady, ha, ha! Trade. Had you the news before you came a- What came of your two friends ? they performed way?
their part very well; you should have brought Col. What believe you, mynheer ?
them to take a glass with us. Trade. What do I believe? Why, I believe Free. No matter, we'll drink a bottle together that the Spaniards have actually raised the siege another time. I did not care to bring them hiof Cagliari.
ther; there's no necessity to trust them with the Col. What duyvel's news is dat? Tis niet main secret, you know, colonel. waer, mynheer-'tis no true, sir.
Col. Nay, that's right, Freeman. Trade. 'Tis so true, mynbeer, that I'll lay you two thousand pounds upon it. You are sure the
Enter SACKBUT. letter may be depended upon, Mr Freeman? Sack. Joy, joy, colonel ! the luckiest accident
Free. Do you think I would venture my mo- in the world! ney, if I were not sure of the truth of it?
Col. What sayest thou? [Aside to TRADELOVE. Sack. This letter does your business. Col. Two duysend pound, mynheer, 'tis ga- Col. (Reads.] • To Obadiah Prim, hosier, near daen- dis gentleman sal bold de gelt.
* the building called the Monument, in London.' [Gives FREEMAN money.
Free. A letter to Prim! How came you by it? Trade. With all my heart--this binds the Sack. Looking over the letters our post-woman wager
brought, as I always do, to see what letters are Free. You have certainly lost, mynheer, the directed to my house (for she can't read, you biege is raised indeed.
must know), I espied this directed to Prim, so Col. Ik gelov't niet, mynheer Freeman, ik sal paid for it among the rest; I have given the old ye dubbled ionden, if you please.
jade a pint of wine on purpose to delay time, till Free. I am let into the secret; therefore, won't you see if the letter be of any service; then I'll win vour money.
seal it up again, and tell I took it by mistake; Trade. Ha, ha, ha! I have snapt the Dutch- I have read it, and fancy you'll like the project. man, faith, ha, ha! this is no ill day's work. Read, read, colonel. Pray, may I crave your name, mynheer?
Col. (Reads.] “ Friend Prim, there is arrived Col. Młyn naem, mynbeer! myn naem is Jan from Pennsylvania one Simon Pure, a leader of Van Timtaintirelercletta Heer Van Fainwell. the faithful, who hath sojourned with us eleven
Trade. Zounds, 'tis a damned long name, I days, and hath been of great comfort to the shall never remember it-Myn heer van, Tim, brethren. He intendeth for the quarterly meetTim, TimWhat the devil is it?
• ing in London; I have recommended him to thy Free. Oh! never heed, I know the gentleman,“ house. I pray thee treat him kindly, and let and will pass my word for twice the sum. thy wife cherish him, for he's of weakly constiTrade. That's enough.
“tution--- he will depart from us the third day; Col. You'll hear of me sovner than you'll wish, which is all from thy friend in the faith, old gentleman, I fancy. [Aside.] You'll come to
AMINADAB HOLDFAST.' Sackbut's, Freeman?
[Erit Col. Ha, ha! excellent! I understand you, landlord; Free. Immediately. [Aside to the Col. I am to persovate this Simon Pure, am I noti 1st Man. Humphry Hump here?
Suck. Don't you like the hint?
Col. Admirably well !
Col. Mr Proteus ratherFree. Tis the best contrivance in the world, if the right Simon gets not there before you- From changing shape, and imitating Jove,
Col. No, no; the quakers never ride post; he I draw the happy omens of my love. can't be here before to-morrow at soonest : do I'm not the first young brother of the blade, you send and buy me a quaker's dress, Mr Sack- Who made his fortune in a masquerade. but; and suppose, Freeman, you should wait at
[Exit COLONEL. the Bristol coach, that if you see any such person, you might contrive to give me notice.
Enter TRADELOVE. Free. I will—the country dress and boots, are Free. Zounds ! Mr Tradelove, we're bit, it chey ready? Sack. Yes, yes ; every thing, sir.
Trade. Bit, do you call it, Mr Freeman ! I am Free. Bring them in then. (Erit Sack.] Thou ruined.- -Pox on your news ! must dispatch Periwinkle first remember his Free. Pox on the rascal that sent it me!uncle, sir Toby Periwinkle, is an old batchelor of Trade. Sent it you! Why Gabriel Skioflint has seventy-five-that he has seven hundred a year, been at the minister's, and spoke with him, and most in abbey-land-that he was once in love he has assured him 'tis every syllable false; he with your mother, shrewdly suspected by some received no such express. to be your 'father—that you have been thirty Free. I know it: I this minute parted with years his steward—and ten years his gentleman — my friend, who protested he never sent me any remember to improve these hints.
such letter- Some roguish stock-jobber has Col. Never fear; let me alone for that but done it, on purpose to make me lose my money what's the steward's name?
that's certain : I wish I knew who he was; I'd Free. His name is Pillage.
make him repent it, I have lost three hundred Col. Enough-Enter SACKBUT with clothes.] pounds by it. - Now for the country put
[Dresses. Trade. What signifies your three hundred Free. Egad, landlord, thou deservest to have pounds, to what I have lost? There's two thouthe first night's lodging with the lady for thy fide- sand pounds to that Dutchman with a cursed lity; what say you, colonel ? shall we settle a club long name, besides the stock I bought : the dehere? you'll make one?
vil ? I could tear my flesh-I must never shew my Col. Make one! I'll bring a set of honest of- face upon 'Change more ;
-for, by my soul, ficers, that will spend their money as freely to I can't pay it. the king's health, as they would their blood in his Free. I am heartily sorry
for it! What can I service.
serve you in? Shall I speak to the Dutch merSack. I thank you, colonel; here, here. chant, and try to get you time for the payment?
(Bell rings. Exit SACK. Trade. Time! Ads heart, I shall never be able Col. So, now for my boots. (Puts on boots.] to look up again. Shall I find you here, Freeman, when I come Free. I am very much concerned that I was back?
the occasion, and wish I could be an instrument Free. Yesor I'll leave word with Sackbut of retrieving your misfortune; for my own, I vawhere he may send for me--Have you the writ- lue it not. Adso! a thought comes into my head, ings, the will and every thing?
that, well improved, may be of service. Col All, all !
Trade. Ah! there's no thought can be of any
service to me, without paying the money, or runEnter SackBUT.
ning away. Suek. Zounds! Mr Freeman! yonder 'is Trade- Free. How do we know? What do you think love in the damnedest passion in the world-He of my proposing Mrs Lovely to him. He is a swears you are in the house-he says you told single man—and I heard him say, he had a mind him you were to dine here.
to marry an English woman-nay, more than Free. I did so ; ha, ha, ha! he has found him- that, he said somebody told him you had a pretty self bit already.
ward-he wished you had betted her instead of Col. The devil! he must not see me in this your money. dress.
Trade. Ay, but he'd be hanged before he'd Sack. I told him I expected you here, but you take her instead of the money; the Dutch are were not come yet
too covetous for that. Besides, he did not know Pree. Very well make you haste out, colonel, that there were three of us, I suppose? and let me alone to deal with him : where is he? Free. So much the better; you may venture Sack.' In the King's Head.
to give him your consent, if he'll forgive you the Col. You remember what I told you?
wager: It is not your business to tell him, that Free. Ay, ay, very well
. Landlord, let him your consent will signify nothing. know I am come in and now, Mr Pillage, Trade. That's right, as you say; but will he do success attend you !
[Exit SACKBUT. it, think you!
Free. I can't tell that; but I'll try what I can you Pillage. —Pray, Mr Pillage, when did my do with bim-He has promised to meet me uncle die? here an hour hence; I'll feel his pulse, and let Col. Monday last, at four in the morning. you know: if I find it feasible, I'll send for you; About two he signed his will, and gave it into if not, you are at liberty to take what measures my hands, and strictly charged me to leave Coyou please.
ventry the moment he expired, and deliver it to Trade. You must extol her beauty, double her you with what speed I could: I have obeyed him, portion, and tell him I have the entire disposal of sir, and there is the will. [Gives it to Per. her, and that she can't marry without my consent; Per. 'Tis very well; I'll lodge it in the Com
—and that I am a covetous rogue, and will mons. never part with her without a valuable conside- Col. There are two things which he forgot to ration.
insert; but charged me to tell you, that he deFree. Ay, ay; let me alone for a lye at a sired you'd perform them as readily as if you had pinch.
found them written in the will—which is, to reTrade. 'Egad, if you can bring this to bear, move his corpse, and bury him by his father at Mr Freeman, I'll make you whole again ; I'll pay St Paul's, Covent-Garden, and to give all his serthe three hundred pounds you lost, with all my vants mourning. soul.
Per. That will be a considerable charge; a pox Free. Well, I'll use my best endeavours- of all modern fashions ! (Aside. Well, it shall Where will
be done. Mr Pillage, I will agree with one of Trade. At home; pray Heaven you prosper- death's fashion-mongers, called an undertaker, to If I were but the sole trustee now, I should not go down, and bring up the body. fear it. Who the devil would be a guardian, Col. I hope, sir, I shall have the honour to
If, when cash runs low, our coffers t'enlarge, serve you in the same station I did your worthy We can't, like other stocks, transser our charge? uncle; I have not many years to stay behind him,
[Exit TRADELOVE. and would gladly spend them in the family, where Free. Ha, ha, ha !-He has it.
I was brought up-[Weeps.]-He was a kind and (Exit FREEMAN. tender master to me.
Per. Pray, don't grieve, Mr Pillage, you shall SCENE III—Changes to PERIWINKLE's house. hold your place, and every thing else which you
held under my uncle.—You make me weep to see Enter PERIWINKLE on one side, and Footman you so concerned. (Weeps.] He lived to a good on the other.
age, and we are all mortal. Foot. A gentleman from Coventry inquires for Col. We are so, sir; and, therefore, I must beg
you to sign this lease : you'll find sir Toby has taPer. From my uncle, I warrant you; bring ken particular notice of it in his will — I could him up-This will save me the trouble, as not get it time enough from the lawyer, or he had well as the expence, of a journey.
signed it before he died.
[Gives him a paper.
Per. A lease! for what?
Col. I rented a hundred a-year of sir Toby up
on lease, which lease expires at Lady-day next. Col. Is your name Periwinkle, sir?
I desire to renew it for twenty years—that's all, Per. It is, sir.
Col. I am sorry for the message I bring-My Per. Let me see! (Looks over the lease. old master, whom I served these forty years, Col. Matters go swimmingly, if nothing interclaims the sorrow due from a faithful servant to vene!
Aside. an indulgent master,
[Weeps. Per. Very well-Let's see what he says in his Per. By this I understand, sir, my uncle, sir will about it, Toby Periwinkle, is dead?
[Lays the lease upon the table, and looks Col. He is, sir, and he has left you heir to
on the will. seven hundred a-year, in as good abbey-land as Col. He's very wary; yet I fancy I shall be too ever paid Peter-pence to Rome.--I wish you cunning for him.
[Aside, long to enjoy it; but my tears will flow when I Per. Ho, here it is—The farm lying—now in think of my master. [Weeps.] Ah! he was a possession of Samuel Pillage suffer him to regood man- -he has not left many of his new his lease—at the same rent–Very well, Mr fellows the poor lament him sorely. Pillage, I see my uncle does mention it, and I'll Per. I pray, sir, what office bore you? perform his will
. Give me the lease—[COLONEL Col. I was his steward, sir.
gives it him ; he looks upon it, and lays it upon Per. I have heard him mention you with much the table.] Pray you step to the door, and call for respect; your name is
a pen and ink, Mr Pillage. Col. Pillage, sir.
Col. I have a pen and ink in my pocket, sir. Per. Ay, Pillage; I do remember he called [Pulls out an ink-horn.] I never go without thats
Per. I think it belongs to your profession- Trade. Ay, Heer Van Fainwell, I never heard (He looks upon the pen, while the COLONEL such a confounded name in my life-Here's changes the lease, and lays down the contract.] his health, I say. I doubt this is but a sorry pen, though it may Free. With all
heart. serve to write my name.
[Writes. Trade. Faith, I never expected to have found Col. Little does he think what he sigus. so generous a thing in a Dutchman.
Aside. Free. Oh, he has nothing of the Hollander in Per. There is your lease, Mr Pillage. [Gives his temper- -except an antipathy to monarchy. him the paper.] Now I must desire you to make As soon as I told him your circumstances, he what haste you can down to Coventry, and take replied, he would not be the ruin of any man for care of every thing, and I'll send down the un- the world—and immediately made this proposal dertaker for the body; do you attend it up, and himself—Let him take what time he will for whatever charge you are at, I'll repay you. 'the payment,' said he; or, if he'll give me his
Col. You have paid me already; I thank you, ward, I'll forgive him the debt.' sir.
Aside. Trade. Well, Mr Freeman, I can't but thank Per. Will you dine with me?
you— 'Egad you have made a man of me again! Col. I would rather not; there are some of and if ever I lay a wager more, may I rot in a my neighbours whom I met as I came along, gaol ! who leave the town this afternoon, they told me, Free, I can assure you, Mr Tradelove, I was and I should be glad of their company down. very much concerned, because I was the occaPer. Well, well, I won't detain you.
sion—though very innocently, I protest. Col. I don't care how soon I am out. [Aside. Trade. I dare swear you was, Mr Freeman. Per. I will give orders about mourning. Col. You will have cause to mourn, when you
Enter a Fiddler. know your estate imaginary only. [Aside.
Fid. Please to have a lesson of music, or a You'll find your hopes and cares alike are
song, gentlemen! vain,
Free. Song? aye, with all our hearts; have In spite of all the caution you have ta'enFortune rewards the faithful lover's pain.
you a very merry one?
Fid. Yes, sir; my wife and I can give you a. [Erit. merry dialogue.
[Here is the song. Per. Seven hundred a year ! I wish he had Trade. 'Tis very pretty, faith. died seventeen years ago :—What a valuable Free. There's something for you to drink, collection of rarities might I have had by this friend; go, lose no time. time!-I might have travelled over all the known Fid. I thank you, sir.
[Erit. parts of the globe, and made my own closet rival the Vatican at Rome. - Odso, I have a
Enter Drawer and Colonel, dressed for the good mind to begin my travels now;- let me
Dutch merchant. see-I am but sixty! My father, grandfather, and great grandfather, reached ninety odd;-1 Col. Ha, Mynheer Tradelove, Ik ben sorry have almost forty years good :—Let me consider! voor your troubles-maer Ik sal you easie mawhat will seven hundred a year amount to in- ken, Ik will de gelt nie hebbenay! in thirty years, I'll say but thirty--thirty Trade. I shall for ever acknowledge the oblitimes seven, is seven times thirty- -that is-- gation, sir. just twenty-one thousand pounds---'tis a great Free. But you understand upon what condideal of money.--I may very well reserve sixteen tion, Mr Tradelove; Mrs Lovely. hundred of it for a collection of such rarities as Col. Ya, de frow sal al te regt setten, Mynwill make my name famous to posterity ;-----I heer. would not die like other mortals, forgotten in a Trade. With all my heart, Mynheer; you shall year or two, as my uncle will be---No,
have my consent to marry her freelyWith nature's curious works I'll raise my fame, Free. Well, then; as I am a party concerned That men, till Doom's-day, may repeat my between you, Mynheer Jan Van Timtamtirelire
[Erit. letta Heer Van Fainwell shall give you a dis
charge of your wager under his own hand, and SCENE IV.-Changes to a tavern. you shall give him your consent to marry Mrs
Lovely under yours.
-that is the way to aFREEMAN and TRADELOVE over a bottle.
void all manner of disputes hereafter. Trade. Come, Mr Freeman, here's Mynheer Col. Ya, weeragtig. Jan Van Tim, Tam, Tanı-shall never think of Trade. Aye, aye, so it is, Mr Freeman; I'II that Dutchmau's name.
give it under mine this minute. (Sits down to write. Free. Mynheer Jan Van Timtamtirelireletta Col. And so Ik sal.
(Does the same. Heer Van Fainwell.
Free, So ho, the bouse !
heer? Had Ik dat gewoeten, Ik soude eaven met
you geweest syn. Bid your master come up-I'll see there be wit- Sack. But Mr Tradelove is the principal, and nesses enough to the bargain.
[Aside. he can do a great deal with the rest, sir.
Free. And he shall use his interest, I promise Enter SackBUT.
you, mynheer. Sack. Do you call, gentlemen ?
Trade. I will say all that ever I can think on Free. Aye, Mr Sackbut; we shall want your to recommend you, mynheer; and, if you please, hand here
I'll introduce you to the lady. Trade. There, Mynheer, there's my consent, Col. Well, dat is waer-Maer ye must first as amply as you can desire; but you must insert spreken of myn to de frow, and to oudere genyour own name, for I know not how to spell it; tlemen. I have left a blank for it,
Free. Aye, that's the best way, and then I and [Gives the Colonel a paper. the Heer Van Fainwell will meet you there. Col. Ya Ik sal dat well doen
Trade. I will go this moment, upon honourFree. Now, Mr Sackbut, you and I will wit- Your most obedient humble servant-My speakness it.
[They write. ing will do you little good, Mynheer, ha, ha, ha! Col. Daer, Mynheer Tradelove, is your dis- we have bit you, faith, ha, ha! charge.
[Gives a paper. Trade. Be pleased to witness this receipt, too,
Well, my debt's discharged, and for the man, gentlemen.
He has my consent to get her, if he can. [FREEMAN and SACKBUT put their hands.
[E.cit. Free. Aye, aye, that we will.
Col. Ha, ha, ha! this was a masterpiece of Col. Well, Mynheer, ye most meer doen, ye contrivance, Freeman. most myn voorsprach to de frow syn.
Free. He hugs himself with his supposed good Free. He means you must recommend him to fortune, and little thinks the luck’s on our side! the lady.
but come, pursue the fickle goddess while she's Trude. That I will, and to the rest of my bro- in the mood-Now, for the quaker. ther guardians.
Col. That's the hardest task. Col Wat, voor, de duyvel, heb you meer
Of all the counterfeits performed by man, guardians ?
A soldier makes the simplest puritan. Trade. Only three, Mynheer.
Ereunt. Col. What donder heb ye myn betrocken Myn
SCENE 1.-PRIM's house.
deed, there was more design than goodness in the
pinch'd cap. Enter Mrs Prim and Mrs Lovely, in quaker's Mrs Prim. Go, thou art corrupted with readdresses, meeting ing lewd plays, and filthy romances
-good for Mrs Prim. So, now I like thee, Anne; art thou nothing but to lead youth into the high-road of not better without thy monstrous hoop-coat and fornication. Ah! I wish thou art not already too patches ?-If Heaven should make thee so many familiar with the wicked ones! black spots upon thy face, would it not fright Mrs Love. Too familiar with the wicked ones? thee, Anne?
Pray, no more of those freedoms, madam-I Mrs Love. If it should turn your inside out- am familiar with none so wicked as yourself :ward, and shew all the spots of your hypocrisy, How dare you thus talk to me! you, you, you, 'twould fright me worse !
unworthy woman you ! (Bursts into tears. Mrs Prim. My hypocrisy! I scorn thy words,
Enter TRADELOVE. Anne; I lay no baits.
Mrs Love. If you did, you'd catch no fish. Trade. What, in tears, Nancy? What have you
Mrs Prim. Well, well, make thy jests—but I'd done to her, Mrs Prim, to make her weep? have thee to know, Anne, that I could have Mrs Love. Done me! I admire I keep my catched as many fish (as thou call'st them) in my senses among you; but I will rid myself of your time, as ever thou didst with all thy fool-traps tyranny, if there be either law or justice to be about thee-If admirers be thy aim, thou wilt had- -I'll force you to give me up my liberty: have more of them in this dress than the other- Mrs Prim. Thou hast more need to weep for The men, take my word for't, are more desirous thy sins, Anne-Yea, for thy manifold sins. to see what we are most careful to conceal. Mrs Love. Don't think that I'll be still the fool
Mrs Love. Is that the reason of your formality, which you have made me. No, I'll wear what I Mes Prim? Truth will out: I ever thought, in- please go when and where I please and