not abuse him: he may chance to hear seek, and I don't see who is out of the of it again, I promise you. secret.-Shall I beg your ladyship to Charles S. Why, you won't tell inform me? Not a word! Brother, will him? you be pleased to explain this matter? Sir Peter T. No-but-this way. What! is Morality dumb too?—Sir Egad, I'll tell him.-[Aside.] Hark'ee Peter, though I found you in the dark, -have you a mind to have a good perhaps you are not so now! All laugh at Joseph ? mute!-Well-though I can make Charles S.1 should like it of all nothing of the affair, I suppose you things. perfectly understand one another

Sir Peter T. Then, i'faith, we will so I'll leave you to yourselves -I'll be quit with him for dis-[Going.] Brother, I'm sorry to find covering me-He had a girl with him you have given that worthy man when I called.

Charles S. What! Joseph? you jest. Sir Peter T. Hush! a little French milliner-and the best of the jest is -she's in the room now. Charles S. The devil she is! Sir Peter T. Hush! I tell you![Points. Charles S. Behind the screen! 'Slife, let's unveil her!

cause for so much uneasiness.-Sir Peter! there's nothing in the world so noble as a man of sentiment!

[Exit CHARLES. (They stand for some time looking at each other.)

Joseph S. Sir Peter-notwithstanding - I confess that appearances are against me- if you will afford me

Sir Peter T. No, no-he's coming your patience-I make no doubt-you sha'n't, indeed!

but I shall explain every thing to your

Charles S. O, egad, we'll have a satisfaction. peep at the little milliner!

Sir Peter T. Not for the world-Joseph will never forgive me

-

and

Sir Peter T. If you please, sir, JosephS. The fact is, sir, that Lady Teazle, knowing my pretensions to Charles S. I'll stand by you— your ward Maria-I say, sir, — Lady Sir Peter T. Odds, here he is-(Jo-Teazle, being apprehensive of the SEPH SURFACE enters just as CHARLES jealousy of your temper SURFACE throws down the screen) knowing my friendship to the family Charles S. Lady Teazle, by all that's-She, sir, I say—called here — in wonderful! Sir Peter T. Lady Teazle, by all pretensions-but on your comingthat's damnable! being apprehensive as I said-of Charles S. Sir Peter, this is one of your jealousy-she withdrew—and the smartest French milliners I ever this, you may depend on it, is the saw. Egad, you seem all to have been whole truth of the matter. diverting yourselves here at hide and

order that I might explain these

Sir Peter T. A very clear account,

upon iny word; and I dare swear the As for that smooth-tongued hypolady will vouch for every article of it. crite, who would have seduced the Lady T. For not one word of it, Sir wife ofhistoo credulous friend, while Peter!

Sir Peter T. How! don't you think it worth while to agree in the lie? Lady T. There is not one syllable of truth in what that gentleman has told you.

Sir Peter T. I believe you, upon my soul, ma'am!

Joseph S. [Aside.]-Sdeath, madam, will you betray me?

Lady T. Good Mr. Hypocrite, by your leave, I'll speak for myself.

he affected honourable addresses to his ward--Ibehold him now ina light so truly despicable, that I shall never again respect myself for having listened to him. [Exit Lady TEAZLE. Joseph. S. Notwithstanding all this, Sir Peter, Heaven knows

Sir Peter T. That you are a villain! and so I leave you to your conscience. Joseph S. You are too rash, Sir Peter; you shall hear me. -The man who shuts out conviction by refusing [Exeunt Sir PETER and SURFACE talking.

Sir Peter T. Ay, let her alone, sir; toyou'll find she'll make out a better story than you, without prompting.

Lady T. Hear me, Sir Peter!-I came hither on no matter relating to your ward, and even ignorant of this gentleman's pretensions to her. But I came seduced by his insidious arguments,at least to listen to his pretended passion, if not to sacrifice your honour to his baseness.

Sir Peter T. Now, I believe,the truth is coming indeed!

Joseph S. The woman's mad!

Lady T. No,sir,-she has recovered her senses, and your own arts have furnished her with the means. Sir Peter, I do not expect you to credit me —but the tenderness you expressed for me, when I am sure you could not think I was a witness to it, has penetrated so to my heart, that had I left the place without the shame of this discovery, my future life should have spoken the sincerity of my gratitude.

Enter JOSEPH SURFACE and Servant. Joseph S. Mr. Stanley!—and why should you think I would see him? you must know he comes to ask something.

Serv. Sir, I should not have let him in, but that Mr. Rowley came to the door with him.

Joseph S. Pshaw! blockhead! to suppose that I should now be in a temper to receive visits from poor relations!

-Well, why don't you show the

fellow up?

Serv. I will, sir.- -Why, sir,it was not my fault that Sir Peter discovered my lady

Joseph S. Go, fool! [Exit SERVANT.] -Sure Fortune never played a man

of my policy such a trick before. My of that domestic sort which never character with Sir Peter, my hopes stirs abroad at all.

with Maria, destroyed in a moment! Rowley.I doubt you'll find it so;-but I'm in a rare humour to listen to other he's coming. I mustn't seem to interpeople's distresses! I sha'n't be able to rupt you; and you know immediately bestow even a benevolent sentiment as you leave him,Icome in to announce on Stanley. So! here he comes, and your arrivalin your real character. Rowley with him. I must try to re- Sir Oliver S. True; and afterwards cover myself, and put a little charity you'll meet me at Sir Peter's. into my face, however. [Exit. Rowley. Without losing a moment. Enter Sir OLIVER SURFACE and [Exit. Sir Oliver S. I don't like the comROWLEY. plaisance of his features.

Sir Oliver S. What! does he avoid us! That was he, was it not?

Enter JOSEPH SURFACE. Joseph S. Sir, I beg you ten thousand pardons for keeping you a moment waiting-Mr. Stanley, I presume.Sir Oliver S. At your service. Joseph S. Sir, I beg you will do me

the honour to sit down-I entreat you, sir!

Sir Oliver S. Dear sir- there's no occasion too civil by half! [Aside. Joseph S. I have not the pleasure of knowing you, Mr. Stanley ; but I am extremely happy to see you look so well. You were nearly related to my mother, I think, Mr. Stanley? Sir Oliver S. I was, sir; so nearly that my present poverty, I fear,maydo discredit to her wealthy children,else I should not have presumed to trouble you.

Joseph S. Dear sir, there needs no apology: he that is in distress, though a stranger,has a right to claim kindred with the wealthy. I am sure wish I was of that class, and had it in my power to offer you even a small

I

Sir Oliver S. And his, I presume, is relief.

and now I feel it doubly culpable, since it has deprived me of the pleasure of serving you, Mr. Stanley, as my heart dictates.

Sir Oliver S. If your uncle, Sir Oli-blame; it was an amiable weakness: ver, were here, I should have a friend. however, I don't pretend to defend it, Joseph S.I wish he was, sir, with all my heart: you should not want an advocate with him, believe me, sir. Sir Oliver S. I should not need one, my distresses would recommend me. But I imagined his bounty would-Then, sir, you can't assist me? enable you to become the agent of his charity.

Joseph S. My dear sir, you were strangely misinformed. Sir Oliver is a worthy man, a very worthy man; but avarice, Mr. Stanley, is the vice of age. I will tell you, my good sir, in confidence, what he has done for me has been a mere nothing; though people, I know, have thought otherwise, and, for my part, I never chose to contradict the report.

Sir Oliver S. Dissembler! [Aside.]

Joseph S. At present, it grieves me to say, I cannot; but, whenever I have the ability, you may depend upon hearing from me.

Sir Oliver S. I am extremely sorry—

Joseph S. Not more than I, believe me;-to pity without the power to relieve, is still more painful than to ask and be denied.

Sir Oliver S. Kind sir, your most obedient humble servant. Sir Oliver S. What! has he never Joseph S. You leave me deeply aftransmitted you bullion rupees-fected, Mr. Stanley. William, be pagodas? ready to open the door.

--

Joseph S. O, dear sir, nothing of the kind:-No,'no-a few presents now and then-china, shawls, congou tea, avadavats, and Indian crackers little more, believe me.

Sir Oliver S. Here's gratitude for twelve thousand pounds!— Avadavats and Indian crackers!

[Aside.

Joseph S. Then, my dear sir, you have heard, I doubt not, of the extravagance of my brother: there are very few would credit what I have done for that unfortunate young man. Sir Oliver S. Not I, for one! [Aside. Joseph S. The sums I have lent him! --Indeed I have been exceedingly to

Sir Oliver S. O, dear sir, no ceremony.

Joseph S. Your very obedient.. Sir Oliver S. Sir, your most obsequious.

Joseph S. You may depend upon hearing from me, whenever I can be of service.

Sir Oliver S. Sweet sir, you are too good!

Joseph S. In the mean time I wish you health and spirits.

Sir Oliver S. Your ever grateful and perpetual humble servant. Joseph S. Sir, yours as sincerely. Sir Oliver S. Charles, you are my heir! [Aside. Exit.

Rowley. You will be delighted to see how well he looks.

Joseph S. Ah! I'm rejoiced to hear it [Aside.

Rowley. I'll tell him how impatiently you expect him.

Joseph. S. This is one bad effect of a good character; it invites application from the unfortunate, and there needs no small degree of address to gain the-Just at this time! reputation of benevolence without incurring the expense. The silver ore of pure charity is an expensive article Joseph S. Do, do; pray give my best in the catalogue of a man's good qua-duty and affection. Indeed, I cannot lities; whereas the sentimental French express the sensations I feel at the plate I use instead of it makes just as thought of seeing him. — [Exit good a show, and pays no tax. ROWLEY.] Certainly his coming just at this time is the cruellest piece of ill-fortune!

Enter ROWLEY.

Rowley. Mr. Surface, your servant: I was apprehensive of interrupting you, though my business demands immediate attention, as this note will inform you.

Joseph S. Always happy to see Mr. Rowley. [Reads the letter.-Sir Oliver Surface!-My uncle arrived! Rowley. He is, indeed: we have just parted-quite well, after a speedy voyage, and impatient to embrace his worthy nephew.

SCENE II.

Sir PETER TEAZLE'S.

[Exit.

Mrs. Can. Do go again, I shall be Joseph S.I am astonished!-William! glad to see her, if it be only for a mostop Mr. Stanley, if he's not gone. ment, for I am sure she must be in Rowley. Oh! he's out of reach, I be- great distress. [Exit MAID.] Dear lieve. heart, how provoking! I'm not misJoseph S. Why did you not let me tress of half the circumstances! We know this when you came in to- shall have the whole affair in the gether? newspapers, with the names of the Rowley. I thought you had parti-parties at length, before I have dropcular business;-but I must be gone ped the story at a dozen houses. to inform your brother, and appoint Enter Sir BENJAMIN BACKBITE. him here to meet your uncle. He will Oh, Sir Benjamin! you have heard, I be with you in a quarter of an hour. suppose

Joseph S. So he says. Well, I am Sir Benj. B. Of lady Teazle and Mr. strangely overjoyed at his coming.-Surface

Never, to be sure, was any thing so Mrs. Can. And Sir Peter's discovedamned unlucky. [Aside.\ry