tured the heart he ought to have it so: and while Hope pictures to us a adored. flattering scene of future bliss, let us Abs. Well, Jack, we have both tasted deny its pencil those colours which the bitters, as well as the sweets, of are too bright to be lasting.—When love with this difference only, that hearts deserving happiness would you always prepared the bitter cup unite their fortunes, Virtue would for yourself, while I— crown them with an unfading garLydia. Was always obliged to me land of modest hurtless flowers; but for it, hey! Mr. Modesty?—But come, ill-judging Passion will force the no more of that—our happiness is gaudier rose into the wreath, whose now as unallayed as general. thorn offends them, when its leaves Julia. Then let us study to preserve are dropt! three years, within a bit, under his with Justice Credulous, our innhonour, in the Royal Inniskillions, keepers use us most scurvily. By my and I never will see a sweeter tem-halbert, their treatment is such, that pered gentleman, nor one more free if your spirit was willing to put up with his purse. I put a great sham- with it, flesh and blood could by no rock in his hat this morning, and I'll means agree; so we humbly petition be bound for him he'll wear it, was that your honour would make an end it as big as Steven's Green. of the matter at once, by running 4th Sol. I say again then you talk away with the justice's daughter, or like youngsters, like militia strip- else get us fresh quarters,-hem! lings: there's a discipline, look'ee, in hem! all things, whereof the serjeant must be our guide; he's a gentleman of houses use you ill? words; he understands your foreign lingo, your figures, and such like auxiliaries in scoring. Confess now for a reckoning, whether in chalk or writing, ben't he your only man? Lieut. Indeed! Pray which of the 1st Sol. There's the Red Lion an't half the civility of the old Red Lion. 2d Sol. There's the White Horse, if he wasn't casehardened, ought to be ashamed to show his face. Cor. Why the serjeant is a scholar Lieut. Very well; the Horse and the to be sure, and has the gift of reading. Lion shall answer for it at the QuarSerj. Good soldiers, and fellow-ter Sessions. gentlemen, if you make me your spokesman, you will show the more judgment; and let me alone for the argument. I'll be as loud as a drum, and point blank from the purpose. All. Agreed, agreed. Serj. The two Magpies are civil enough; but the Angel uses us like devils, and the Rising Sun refuses us light to go to bed by. Lieut. Then, upon my word, I'll have the Rising Sun put down, and Cor. O faith! here comes the lieuten- the Angel shall give security for his ant; now, serjeant. good behaviour; but are you sure Serj. So then, to order. - Put on you do nothing to quit scores with your mutiny looks; every man them? grumble a little to himself, and some of you hum the deserter's march. Enter LIEUTENANT. Cor. Nothing at all, your honour, unless now and then we happen to fling a cartridge into the kitchen fire, Lieut. Well, honest lads, what is it or put a spatterdash or so into the you have to complain of? Sol. Ahem! hem! soup; and sometimes Ned drums up and down stairs a little of a night. Lieut. Oh, all that's fair: but hark'ee, lads, I must have no grumb Serj. So please your honour, the very grievance of the matter is this: -ever since your honour differed ling on St. Patrick's day; so here, take this, and divide it amongst you. But observe me now,-show yourselves men of spirit, and don't spend sixpence of it in drink. Doctor. So, then, the case of her fortune is desperate, hey? Lieut. Oh, hang fortune,-let that take its chance; there is a beauty in Serj. Nay, hang it, your honour, sol-Lauretta's simplicity, so pure a bloom diers should never bear malice; we upon her charms. must drink St. Patrick's and your honour's health. Doctor. So there is, so there is. You are for beauty as nature made her, All. Oh, damn malice! St. Patrick's hey! No artificial graces, no cosmetic and his honour by all means. varnish, no beauty in grain, hey! Cor. Come away, then, lads, and Lieut. Upon my word, doctor, you first we'll parade round the Market- are right; the London ladies were alcross, for the honour of King George. ways too handsome for me; then they 1st Sol. Thank your honour. Come are so defended, such a circumvallaalong; St. Patrick, his honour, and tion of hoop, with a breast-work of strong beer for ever! [Exit SOLDIERS. whalebone, that would turn a pistolLieut. Get along, you thoughtless bullet, much less Cupid's arrows,vagabonds! yet, upon my conscience, then turret on turret on top, with 'tis very hard these poor fellows stores of concealed weapons, under should scarcely have bread from the pretence of black pins, and above soil they would die to defend. Enter DOCTOR ROSY. Ah, my little Doctor Rosy, my Galen a-bridge, what's the news? all, a standard of feathers that would do honour to a knight of the Bath. Upon my conscience, I could as soon embrace an Amazon, armed at all points. Doct. Right, right, my Alexander— my taste to a tittle. Doctor. All things are as they were, my Alexander; the justice is as violent as ever: I felt his pulse on the Lieut. Then, doctor, though I admatter again, and, thinking his rage mire modesty in women, I like to see began to intermit, I wanted to throw their faces. I am for the changeable in the bark of good advice, but it rose; but with one of these quality would not do. He says you and your Amazons, if their midnight dissipacut-throats have a plot upon his life, tions had left them blood enough to and swears he had rather see his raise a blush, they have not room edaughter in a scarlet fever than in nough in their cheeks to show it. To the arms of a soldier. be sure, bashfulness is a very pretty thing; but, in my mind, there is nothing on earth so impudent as an everlasting blush. Lieut. Upon my word the army is very much obliged to him. Well, then, I must marry the girl first, and ask his consent afterwards. Doct. My taste, my taste― Well, Lauretta is none of these-Ah! Iry's wife in the kingdom. Why, she never see her but she puts me in mind could decypher a prescription, and of my poor dear wife. invent the ingredients, almost as well as myself: then she was such a hand Lieut. Ay, faith; in my opinion she can't do a worse thing. Now he is at making foreign waters!—for Selt going to bother me about an old hag zer, Pyrmont, Islington, or Chalybeate, she never had her equal; and her Bath and Bristol springs exceeded the originals.—Ah, poor Dolly! she fell a martyr to her own discoveries. Lieut. How so, pray? Doct. Oh, poor Dolly! I never shall see her like again; such an arm for a bandage-veins that seemed to invite the lancet. Then her skin, smooth Doct. Poor soul! her illness was ocand white as a gallipot; her mouth as casioned by her zeal in trying an imround and not larger than the mouth provement on the Spa-water, by an of a penny phial; her lips conserve infusion of rum and acid. of roses; and then her teeth-none of Lieut. Ay, ay, spirits never agree your sturdy fixtures- ache as they with water-drinkers. would, it was but a small pull, and Doct. No, no, you mistake. Rum out they came. I believe I have drawn agreed with her well enough; it was half a score of her poor dear pearls-not the rum that killed the poor dear (weeps)-but what avails her beau-creature, for she died of a dropsy. ty? Death has no consideration-Well, she is gone never to return, and one must die as well as another. has left no pledge of our loves beLieut. Oh, if he begins to moralise-hind. No little babe, to hang like a [Takes out his snuff-box]. Doct. Fair and ugly, crooked or straight, rich or poor-flesh is grass -flowers fade! Lieut. Here, doctor, take a pinch, and keep up your spirits. Doct. True, true, my friend; grief can't mend the matter-all's for the best; but such a woman was a great loss, lieutenant. Lieut. To be sure, for doubtless she had mental accomplishments equal to her beauty. Doct. Mental accomplishments! she would have stuffed an alligator, or pickled a lizard, with any apotheca label round papa's neck. Well, well, Lieut. Right, right; an apothecary ready: the clothes are at my house, Jades, and become scarlet as well as and I have given you such a character the fighting folks. that he is impatient to have you: he Lau. Psha! you know, mamma, I swears you shall be his body-guard. hate militia officers; a set of dunghill Well, I honour the army, or I should cocks with spurs on heroes never do so much to serve you. scratch'd off a church door-clowns Lieut. Indeed I am bound to you in military masquerade, wearing the for ever, doctor; and when once I'm dress without supporting the characpossessed of my dear Lauretta, I will ter. No, give me the bold upright endeavour to make work for you as fast as possible. Doct. Now you put me in mind of my poor wife again. Lieut. Ah, pray forget her a little: we shall be too late. Doct. Poor Dolly! Lieut. O, the devil! Doct. Kings, lords, and common SCENE II. youth, who makes love to-day, and his head shot off to-morrow. Dear! to think how the sweet fellows sleep on the ground, and fight in silk stockings and lace ruffles. Bri. Oh, barbarous ! to want a husband that may wed you to-day, and be sent the Lord knows where before night; then in a twelvemonth perhaps to have him come like a Colossus, with one leg at New York and the other at Chelsea Hospital. Lau. Then I'll be his crutch,mamma. Bri. No, give me a husband that knows where his limbs are, though he want the use of them:—and if he should take you with him, to sleep in baggage-cart, and stroll about the camp like a gipsy, with a knapsack and two children at your back;— then, by way of entertaiument in the evening,to make a party with the ser a : Enter LAURETTA and BRIDGet. Lau. I repeat it again, mamma, officers are the prettiest men in the world, and Lieutenant O'Connor is jeant's wife to drink bohea tea, and the prettiest officer I ever saw. play at all-fours on a drum-head: Bri. For shame, Laura! how can you 'tis a precious life, to be sure. talk so?—or if you must have a mili- Lau. Nay, mamma, you shouldn't fary man, there's Lieutenant Plow, be against my lieutenant, for I heard or Captain Haycock, or Major Dray, him say you were the best natured and the brewer, are all your admirers; [best looking woman in the world. and though they are peaceable, good Bri. Why, child, I never said but kind of men, they have as large cock-that Lieutenant O'Connor was a very |