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Sneer. But isn't it odd they never were taken notice of, not even by the commander-in-chief ?
Puff. O lud, sir ! if people, who want to listen or overhear, were not always connived at in a tragedy, there would be no carrying on any plot in the world.
Dang. That's certain !
Puff. But take care, my dear Dangle ! the morning-gun is going to fire.
[Cannon fires Dang. Well, that will have a fine effect !
Puff. I think so, and helps to realise the scene.—[Cannon twice.] What the plagued three morning gunsthere never is but one |--Ay, this is always the way at the theatre : give these fellows a good thing, and they never know when to have done with it.—You have no more cannon to fire ?
Und. Promp. [Within.] No, sir.
Puff. It shows that Tilburina is coming ;-nothing introduces you a heroine like soft music. Here she comes !
Dang. And her confidant, I suppose ?
Puff. To be sure ! Here they are—inconsolable to the minuet in Ariadne !
* Enter TILBURINA and CONFIDANT
Bid Nature's voice and Nature's beauty rise ;
Puff. Your white handkerchief, madam l
Tilb. I thought, sir, I wasn't to use that till heart-rending
Puff. O yes, madam, at the finches of the grove, if you please. Tilb.
Nor lark, Linnet, nor all the finches of the grove ! [Weeps” Puff. Vastly well, madam! Dang. Vastly well, indeed !
* Tilb. For, O, too sure, heart-rending woe is now
The lot of wretched Tilburina !"
Dang. Oh -'tis too much!
"Con. Be comforted, sweet lady; for who knows,
But Heaven has yet some milk-white day in store?
Thy tender youth as yet hath never mourn'd
Dang. That 's certain !
Con. But see where your stern father comes :
It is not meet that he should find you thus.”
Puff. Hey, what the plague what a cut is here! Why, what is become of the description of her first meeting with Don Whiskerandos—his gallant behaviour in the sea-fight-and the simile of the canary-bird ?
Tilb. Indeed, sir, you 'll find they will not be missed.
It is not meet that he should find you thus.
Is this a time for maudling tenderness,
Like a clipp'd guinea, trembles in the scale?
I see the fleets approach-I see
Puff. Now, pray, gentlemen, mind. This is one of the most useful figures we tragedy writers have, by which a hero or heroine, in consideration of their being often obliged to overlook things that are on the stage, is allowed to hear and see a number of things that are not.
Sneer. Yes; a kind of poetical second-sight!
I see their decks
I see-I see-what soon you 'll see
The Spanish fleet thou canst not see-because
- It is not yet in sight!” Dang. Egad, though, the governor seems to make no allowance for this poetical figure you talk of.
Puff. No, a plain matter-of-fact man;---that 's his character.
“ Tilb. But will you then refuse his offer?
Gov. I must-I will—I can-I ought I do.
Tilb. His liberty is all he asks.”
Puff. Egad, sir, I can't tell ! Here has been such cutting and slashing, I don't know where they have got to myself. Tilb. Indeed, sir, you will find it will connect very well.
“-And your reward secure." Puff. Oh, if they hadn't been so devilish free with their cuttings here, you would have found that Don Whiskerandos has been tampering for his liberty, and has persuaded Tilburina to make this proposal to her father. And now, pray observe the conciseness with which the argument is conducted. Egad, the pro and con goes as smart as hits in a fencing-match. It is indeed a sort of small-sword logic, which we have borrowed from the French.
"Tilb. A retreat in Spain !
Gov. Outlawry here!
Puff. There you see
-she threw in Tilburina, Quick, parry quarte with England !-Hal thrust in tierce a title parried by honour. Hal a pension over the arm |--put by by conscience. Then flankonade with a thousand pounds -and a palpable hit, egad !
Tilb. Canst thou
Reject the suppliant, and the daughter too
The father softens—but the governor
Dang. Ay, that antithesis of persons is a most established figure.
'Tis well,—hence then, fond hopes,--fond passion, hence.
Duty, behold I am all over thine-
Enter DON FEROLO WHISKERANDOS
Puff. O dear, ma'am, you must start a great deal more than that! Consider, you had just determined in favour of duty—when, in a moment, the sound of his voice revives your passion-overthrows your resolution-destroys your obedience. If you don't express all that in your start, you do nothing at all.
Tilb. Well, we 'll try again!
We meet? why are thy looks averse ? what means
That falling tear-that frown of boding woe?
But thou art false, and Whiskerandos is undone !
I make you all a present to the winds;
Puff. The wind, you know, is the established receiver of all stolen sighs, and cast-off griefs and apprehensions.
Tilb. Yet must we part Istern duty seals our doom :
Though here I call yon conscious clouds to witness,
And friend to me!
Well, if-we must-we must-and in that case
Puff. Heyday! here's a cut 1-What, are all the mutual protestations out ?
Tilb. Now, pray, sir, don't interrupt us just here : you ruin our feelings.
Puff. Your feelings but zounds, my feelings, ma'am! Sneer. No; pray don't interrupt them.
“ Whisk. One last embrace.
Tilb. Now,-farewell for ever.
Puff. 'Sdeath and fury |-Gad's life lsir ! madam ! if you go out without the parting look, you might as well dance out. Here, here !
Con. But pray, sir, how am I to get off here?
Puff. You ! pshaw! what the devil signifies how you get off I edge away at the top, or where you will—[Pushes the CONFIDANT off.) Now, ma'am, you see
Tilb. We understand you, sir.
“Ay, for ever.