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it is to show his neglect of me.-Mr. Loveless, I must speak with you.—Ha! Townly again! How I am persecuted I
Enter COLONEL TOWNLY
Col. Town. Madam, you seem disturbed.
Col. Town. Whatever be the cause, I would to Heaven it were in my power to bear the pain, or to remove the malady.
Aman. Your interference can only add to my distress.
Col. Town. Ah, madam, if it be the sting of unrequited love you suffer from, seek for your remedy in revenge ; weigh well the strength and beauty of your charms, and rouse up that spirit a woman ought to bear. Disdain the false embraces of a husband. See at your feet a real lover ; his zeal may give him title to your pity, although his merit cannot claim your love. Love. So, so, very fine, i' faith !
[Aside Aman. Why do you presume to talk to me thus ? Is this your friendship to Mr. Loveless ? I perceive you will compel me at last to acquaint him with your treachery.
Col. Town. He could not upbraid me if you were.—He deserves it from me ; for he has not been more false to you than faithless to me.
Aman. To you ?
Col. Town. Yes, madam ; the lady for whom he now deserts those charms which he was never worthy of was mine by right; and, I imagined too, by inclination. Yes, madam, Berinthia, who now
Aman. Berinthia! Impossible !
Col. Town. 'Tis true, or may I never merit your attention. She is the deceitful sorceress who now holds your husband's heart in bondage.
Aman. I will not believe it.
Col. Town. By the faith of a true lover, I speak from conviction. This very day I saw them together, and overheard
Aman. Peace, sir ! I will not even listen to such slanderthis is a poor device to work on my resentment, to listen to your insidious addresses. No, sir, though Mr. Loveless may be capable of error, I am convinced I cannot be deceived so grossly in him as to believe what you now report ; and for Berinthia, you should have fixed on some more probable person for my riyal than her who is my relation and my friend : for while I am myself free from guilt, I will never believe that love can beget injury, or confidence create ingratitude.
Col. Town. If I do not prove to you
Aman. You never shall have an opportunity. From the artful manner in which you first showed yourself to me I might have been led, as far as virtue permitted, to have thought you less criminal than unhappy; but this last unmanly artifice merits at once my resentment and contempt.
[Erit Col. Town. Sure there's divinity about her; and she has dispensed some portion of honour's light to me; yet can I bear to lose Berinthia without revenge or compensation ? Perhaps she is not so culpable as I thought her. I was mistaken when I began to think lightly of Amanda's virtue, and may be in my censure of my Berinthia. Surely I love her still, for I feel I should be happ to find myself in the wrong.
Re-enter LOVELESS and BERINTHIA
Ber. Your servant, Mr. Loveless.
Ber. Don't you think we steal forth two contemptible creatures ?
Love. Why, tolerably so, I must confess.
Ber. And do you conceive it possible for you ever to give Amanda the least uneasiness again ?
Love. No, I think we never should indeed.
Ber. Wel why, monster, you don't pretend that I ever entertained a thought ?
Love. Why then, sincerely and honestly, Berinthia, there is something in my wife's conduct which strikes me so forcibly, that if it were not for shame, and the fear of hurting you in her opinion, I swear I would follow her, confess my
or, and trust to her generosity for forgiveness.
Ber. Nay, pr'ythee, don't let your respect for me prevent you; for as my object in trifling with you was nothing more than to pique Townly, and as I perceive he has been actuated by a similar motive, you may depend on 't I shall make no mystery of the matter to him.
Love. By no means inform him ; for though I may
choose to pass by his conduct without resentment, how will he presume to look me in the face again ?
Ber. How will you presume to look him in the face again?
Love. He, who has dared to attempt the honour of my wife !
Ber. You, who have dared to attempt the honour of his mistress ! Come, come, be ruled by me, who affect more levity than I have, and don't think of anger in this cause. A readiness to resent injuries is a virtue only in those who are slow to injure.
Love. Then I will be ruled by you; and when you shall think proper to undeceive Townly, may your good qualities make as sincere a convert of him as Amanda's have of me.
-When truth 's extorted from us, then we own the robe of virtue is a sacred habit.
Could woman but our secret counsels scan-
SCENE II.-A Room in SIR TUNBELLY CLUMSY'S House
Enter Miss HOYDEN, NURSE, and Tom FASHION Fash. This quick despatch of the chaplain's I take so kindly, it shall give him claim to my favour as long as I live, I assure you.
Miss Hoyd. And to mine too, I promise you.
Nurse. I most humbly thank your honours ; and may your children swarm about you like bees about a honeycomb !
Miss Hoyd. Ecod, with all my heart—the more the merrier, I say–ha, nurse ?
Lory. One word with you, for Heaven's sake.
[Taking TOM FASHION hastily aside Fash. What the devil 's the matter ?
Lory. Sir, your fortune 's ruined if you are not married. Yonder 's your brother arrived, with two coaches and six horses, twenty footmen, and a coat worth fourscore pounds
so judge what will become of your lady's heart.
Fash. Is he in the house yet ?
Lory. No, they are capitulating with him at the gate. Sir Tunbelly luckily takes him for an impostor; and I have told him that we have heard of this plot before.
Fash. That's right.—[Turning to Miss HOYDEN.) My dear, here's a troublesome business my man tells me of, but don't be frightened ; we shall be too hard for the rogue. Here's an impudent fellow at the gate (not knowing I was come hither incognito) has taken my name upon him, in hopes to run away with you.
Miss Hoyd. Oh, the brazen-faced varlet ! it's well we are married, or may be we might never have been so.
Fash. [Aside.) Egad, like enough.—[Aloud.) Pr’ythee, nurse, run to Sir Tunbelly, and stop him from going to the gate before I speak with him.
Nurse. An't please your honour, my lady and I had best lock ourselves up till the danger be over.
Fash. Do so, if you please.
Miss Hoyd. Not so fast; I won't be locked up any more, now I'm married.
Fash. Yes, pray, my dear, do, till we have seized this rascal. Miss Hoyd. Nay, if you 'll pray me, I'll do any thing.
[Exit with NURSE Fash. Hark you, sirrah, things are better than you imagine. The wedding 's over. Lory. The devil it is, sir !
[Capers about Fash. Not a word—all 's safe—but Sir Tunbelly don't know it, nor must not yet. So I am resolved to brazen the brunt of the business out, and have the pleasure of turning the impostor upon his lordship, which I believe may easily be done.
Enter SIR TUNBELLY CLUMSY
Did you ever hear, sir, of so impudent an undertaking ?
Sir Tun. Never, by the mass ; but we 'll tickle him, I 'll warrant you.
Fash. They tell me, sir, he has a great many people with him, disguised like servants.
Sir Tun. Ay, ay, rogues enow, but we have mastered them. We only fired a few shot over their heads, and the regiment scoured in an instant.—Here, Tummas, bring in your prisoner.
Fash. If you please, Sir Tunbelly, it will be best for me not to confront the fellow yet, till you have heard how far his impudence will carry him.
Sir Tun. Egad, your lordship is an ingenious person. Your lordship then will please to step aside.
Lory. (Aside.] 'Fore heaven, I applaud my master's modesty !
[Exit with Tom FASHION
Enter SERVANTS, with LORD FOPPINGTON disarmed
Sir Tun. Come, bring him along, bring him along.
Lord Fop. What the plague do you mean, gentlemen ? is it fair time, that you are all drunk before supper ?
Sir Tun. Drunk, sirrah! here's an impudent rogue for you now. Drunk or sober, bully, I'm a justice o' the peace, and know how to deal with strollers.
Lord Fop. Strollers !
Sir Tun. Ay, strollers. Come, give an account of yourself. What's your name? where do you live? do you pay scot and lot ? Come, are you a freeholder or a copyholder ?
Lord Fop. And why dost thou ask me so many impertinent questions ?
Sir Tun. Because I'll make you answer 'em, before I have done with you, you rascal you !
Lord Fop. Before Gad, all the answers I can make to them is, that you are a very extraordinary old fellow, stap my vitals !
Sir Tun. Nay, if thou art joking deputy lieutenants, we know how to deal with you.-Here, draw a warrant for him immediately.
Lord Fop. A warrant ! What the devil is 't thou would'st be at, old gentleman ?
Sir Tun. I would be at you, sirrah, (if my hands were not tied as a magistrate,) and with these two double fists beat your teeth down your throat, you dog you !
[Driving him Lord Fop. And why wouldst thou spoil my face at that rate ?
Sir Tun. For your design to rob me of my daughter, villain.
Lord Fop. Rob thee of thy daughter! Now do I begin to believe I am in bed and asleep, and that all this is but a dream. Pr’ythee, old father, wilt thou give me leave to ask thee one question ?