Abs. Really, sir, you have the advantage of me :-I don't remember ever to have had the honour-my name is Saunderson, at your service. Sir Anth. Sir, I beg your pardon-I took you-hey ?— why, zounds! it is-Stay-[Looks up to his face.] So, soyour humble servant, Mr. Saunderson? Why, you scoundrel, what tricks are you after now? Abs. Oh, a joke, sir, a joke. I came here on purpose to look for you, sir? Sir Anth. You did! well, I am glad you were so lucky :— but what are you muffled up so for ?-what's this for ?— hey! Abs. 'Tis cool, sir; isn't it ?-rather chilly somehowbut I shall be late-I have a particular engagement. Sir Anth. Stay Why, I thought you were looking for me?-Pray, Jack, where is 't you are going? Abs. Going, sir! Sir Anth. Ay, where are you going? Abs. Where am I going? Sir Anth. You unmannerly puppy! Abs. I was going, sir, to-to-to-to Lydia-sir, to Lydia-to make matters up if I could; and I was looking for you, sir, to-to Sir Anth. To go with you, I suppose.-Well, come along. Abs. Oh zounds! no, sir, not for the world !-I wished to meet with you, sir,-to-to-to-You find it cool, I'm sure, sir-you'd better not stay out. Sir Anth. Cool !-not at all.-Well, Jack-and what will you say to Lydia ? Abs. Oh, sir, beg her pardon, humour her-promise and vow but I detain you, sir-consider the cold air on your gout. Sir Anth. Oh, not at all-not at all! I'm in no hurry.-Ah! Jack, you youngsters, when once you are wounded here [Putting his hand to CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE'S breast] Hey! what the deuce have you got here? Abs. Nothing, sir-nothing. Sir Anth. What's this ?-here's something damned hard. Abs. Oh, trinkets, sir! trinkets !—a bauble for Lydia! Sir Anth. Nay, let me see your taste.-[Pulls his coat open, the sword falls.] Trinkets !—a bauble for Lydia !— Zounds sirrah, you are not going to cut her throat, are you? -- Abs. Ha ha ha! I thought it would divert you, sir, though I didn't mean to tell you till afterwards. Sir Anth. You didn't ?-Yes, this is a very diverting trinket, truly! Abs. Sir, I'll explain to you. You know, sir, Lydia is romantic, devilish romantic, and very absurd of course : now, sir, I intend, if she refuses to forgive me, to unsheath this sword, and swear-I'll fall upon its point, and expire at her feet! Sir Anth. Fall upon a fiddlestick's end !-why, I suppose it is the very thing that would please her.-Get along, you fool! Abs. Well, sir, you shall hear of my success—you shall hear.-O Lydia! forgive me, or this pointed steel-says I. Sir Anth. O booby! stab away and welcome—says she.Get along and damn your trinkets! [Exit CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE Enter DAVID, running Dav. Stop him! stop him! Murder! Thief! Fire Stop fire! Stop fire !-O Sir Anthony-call! call! bid 'm stop! Murder! Fire! Sir Anth. Fire! Murder !-Where ? Dav. Oons! he's out of sight! and I'm out of breath! for my part! O Sir Anthony! why didn't you stop him? why didn't you stop him? Sir Anth. Zounds! the fellow's mad!-Stop whom? Stop Jack? Dav. Ay, the captain, sir !-there's murder and slaughter Sir Anth. Murder! Dav. Ay, please you, Sir Anthony, there's all kinds of murder, all sorts of slaughter to be seen in the fields: there's fighting going on, sir-bloody sword-and-gun fighting! Sir Anth. Who are going to fight, dunce? Dav. Everybody that I know of, Sir Anthony :-everybody is going to fight, my poor master, Sir Lucius O'Trigger, your son, the captain Sir Anth. Oh, the dog! I see his tricks.-Do you know the place? Dav. King's-Mead-Fields. Sir Anth. You know the way? Dav. Not an inch but I'll call the mayor-aldermenconstables-churchwardens-and beadles-we can't be too many to part them. Sir Anth. Come along-give me your shoulder! we 'll get assistance as we go-the lying villain !-Well, I shall be in such a frenzy!-So-this was the history of his trinkets! I'll bauble him! [Exeunt SCENE III. King's-Mead-Fields Enter SIR LUCIUS O'TRIGGER and ACRES, with pistols Acres. By my valour! then, Sir Lucius, forty yards is a good distance. Odds levels and aims !-I say it is a good distance. Upon Sir Luc. Is it for muskets or small field-pieces? my conscience, Mr. Acres, you must leave those things to me.-Stay now-I'll show you.-[Measures paces along the stage.] There now, that is a very pretty distance-a pretty gentleman's distance. Acres. Zounds! we might as well fight in a sentry-box! I tell you, Sir Lucius, the farther he is off, the cooler I shall take my aim. Sir Luc. Faith! then I suppose you would aim at him best of all if he was out of sight! Acres. No, Sir Lucius; but I should think forty or eightand-thirty yards Sir Luc. Pho! pho! nonsense! three or four feet between the mouths of your pistols is as good as a mile. Acres. Odds bullets, no!-by my valour! there is no merit in killing him so near: do, my dear Sir Lucius, let me bring him down at a long shot :—a long shot, Sir Lucius, if you love me! Sir Luc. Well, the gentleman's friend and I must settle that. But tell me now, Mr. Acres, in case of an accident, is there any little will or commission I could execute for you? Acres. I am much obliged to you, Sir Lucius-but I don't understand Sir Luc. Why, you may think there's no being shot at without a little risk-and if an unlucky bullet should carry a quietus with it—I say it will be no time then to be bothering you about family matters. Acres. A quietus ! Sir Luc. For instance, now-if that should be the case -would you choose to be pickled and sent home ?-or would it be the same to you to lie here in the Abbey ?— I'm told there is very snug lying in the Abbey. Acres. Pickled 1-Snug lying in the Abbey !-Odds tremors Sir Lucius, don't talk so! Sir Luc. I suppose, Mr. Acres, you never were engaged in an affair of this kind before? Acres. No, Sir Lucius, never before. Sir Luc. Ah! that's a pity !-there's nothing like being used to a thing.-Pray now, how would you receive the gentleman's shot? Acres. Odds files !-I've practised that-there, Sir Lucius-there.-[Puts himself in an attitude.] A side-front, Odd! I'll make myself small enough: I'll stand hey? edgeways. Sir Luc. Now you're quite out-for if you stand so when I take my aim[Levelling at him Acres. Zounds! Sir Lucius are you sure it is not cocked ? Sir Luc. Never fear. Acres. But-but-you don't know-it may go off of its own head! Sir Luc. Pho! be easy. Well, now if I hit you in the body, my bullet has a double chance-for if it misses a vital part of your right side-'twill be very hard if it don't succeed on the left! Acres. A vital part! Sir Luc. But, there-fix yourself so-[Placing him]—let him see the broad-side of your full front-there-now a ball or two may pass clean through your body, and never do any harm at all. Acres. Clean through me !—a ball or two clean through me.! Sir Luc. Ay-may they-and it is much the genteelest attitude into the bargain. Acres. Look'ee! Sir Lucius-I'd just as lieve be shot in an awkward posture as a genteel one; so, by my valour ! I will stand edgeways. Sir Luc. [Looking at his watch.] Sure they don't mean to disappoint us-Hah!-no, faith-I think I see them coming. Acres. Hey-what !-coming ! Sir Luc. Ay.-Who are those yonder getting over the stile ? Acres. There are two of them indeed!-well-let them come-hey, Sir Lucius -we-we-we-we-won't run. Sir Luc. Run!. Acres. No-I say we won't run, by my valour! Sir Luc. What the devil's the matter with you? Acres. Nothing-nothing-my dear friend-my dear Sir Lucius-but I-I-I don't feel quite so bold, somehow, as I did.' Sir Luc. O fyl-consider your honour. Acres. Ay-true-my honour. Do, Sir Lucius, edge in a word or two every now and then about my honour. Sir Luc. Well, here they're coming. [Looking Acres. Sir Lucius-if I wa'n't with you, I should almost think I was afraid. If my valour should leave me !— Valour will come and go. Sir Luc. Then pray keep it fast, while you have it. Acres. Sir Lucius I doubt it is going-yes-my valour is certainly going! it is sneaking off!- fe it oozing: out as it were at the palms of my hands !!! Sir Luc. Your honour-your honour.-Here they are. Acres. O mercy !—now-that I was safe at Clod-Hall! or could be shot before I was aware! Enter FAULKLAND and CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE Sir Luc. Gentlemen, your most obedient. Hah !-what, Captain Absolute -So, I suppose, sir, you are come here, just like myself to do a kind office, first for your friendthen to proceed to business on your own account. Acres. What, Jack —my dear Jack !→my dear friend! Abs. Hark'ee, Bob, Beverley's at hand. Sir Luc. Well, Mr. Acres-I don't blame your saluting the gentleman civilly.-[To FAULKLAND.] So, Mr. Beverley, if you'll choose your weapons, the captain and I will measure the ground. Faulk. My weapons, sir!. Acres. Odds life! Sir Lucius, I'm not going to fight Mr. Faulkland; these are my particular friends. Sir Luc. What, sir, did you not come here to fight Mr. Acres ? Faulk. Not I, upon my word, sir. Sir Luc. Well, now, that 's mighty provoking! But I |