mons. leave Coventry the moment he expired; and deliver it to you with what speed I could; I have obeyed him, Sir, and there is the will. Gives it to PERIWINKLE. Per. 'Tis very well; I'll lodge it in the ComCol. F. There are two things which he forgot to insert, but charged me to tell you, that he desired you'd perform them as readily as if you had found them written in the will, which is to remove his corpse, and bury him by his father, at St. Paul's, Covent Garden, and to give all his servants mourning. Per. That will be a considerable charge; a-ay; in thirty years, I say but thirty-thirty pox of all modern fashions. [Aside.] Well! it shall be done, Mr. Pillage, I will agree with one of death's fashion-mongers, called an undertaker, to go down, and bring up the body. Col. F. I hope, Sir, I shall have the honour to serve you in the same station I did your worthy uncle: I have not many years to stay behind him, and would gladly spend them in the family, where I was brought up.-[Weeps.] -He was a kind and tender master to me. Per. Pray don't grieve, Mr. Pillage, you shall hold your place, and every thing else which you held under my uncle-You make me weep to see you so concerned. [Weeps.] He lived to a good old age, and we are all mortal. Col. F. We are so, Sir, and therefore I must beg you to sign this lease: you'll find, Sir Toby has taken particular notice of it in his will-I could not get it time enough from the lawyer, or he had signed it before he died. Per. A lease! for what? [Gives him a Paper. Col. F. I rented a hundred a year farm from Sir Toby upon lease, which lease expires at Lady-day next. I desire to renew for twenty years that's all, Sir. Per. Let me see. [Looks over the lease.] Very well-Let me see what he says in his will about it. [Lays the lease upon the table, and looks on the will.] Ho, here it is-The farm lying now in possession of SAMUEL PILLAGE suffer him to renew his lease-at the same rent. -Very well, Mr. Pillage, I see my uncle does mention it, and I'll perform his will.Give me the lease. [COLONEL gives it him, he looks upon it, and lays it upon the table.] Pray you step to the door, and call for pen and ink, Mr. Pillage. Col. F. I have a pen and ink in my pocket, Sir, [Pulls out an ink-horn.] I never go with out that. Per. I think it belongs to your profession. [He looks upon the pen while the COLONEL changes the lease and lays down the contract.] I doubt this is but a sorry pen, though it may serve to write my name. [Writes. Col. F. Little does he think what he signs. [Aside. Per. There is your lease, Mr. Pillage. [Gives him the paper.] Now I must desire you to make what haste you can down to Coventry, and take care of every thing, and I'll send down the undertaker for the body; do you attend it up, and whatever charges you are at I'll repay you. Col. F. You have paid me already, I thank you, Sir. [Aside. Per. Will you dine with me? Col. F. I would rather not: there are some of my neighbours whom I met as I came along, who leave the town this afternoon, they told and I should be glad of their company me, down. Per. Well, well, I won't detain you. I will give orders about mourning. [Exit COLONEL.] Seven hundred a year! I wish he had died seventeen years ago:what a valuable collection of rarities might I have had by this time! -I might have travelled over all the known parts of the globe, and made my own closet rival the Vatican at Rome-Odso, I have a good mind to begin my travels now-let me see-I am but sixty: my father, grandfather, and great grandfather, reached ninety odd; I have almost forty years good: let me consider! what will seven hundred a year amount to in times seven is seven times thirty-that is just twenty-one thousand pounds--'tis a great deal of money-I may very well reserve sixteen hundred of it for a collection of such rarities as will make my name famous to posterity-I would not die like other mortals, forgotten in a year or two, as my uncle will be-No, With nature's curious works I'll raise my fame, That men till doomsday may repeat my name. SCENE IV.-A Tavern. [Exit. FREEMAN and TRADELOVE over a bottle. Heer Van Feignwell. heard such a confounded name in my life- Free. With all my heart. so generous a thing in a Dutchman. Free. As soon as I told him your circumstances, he replied, he would not be the ruin of any man for the world-and immediately what time he will for the payment, said he; made this proposal himself. Let him take or, if he'il give me his word, I'll forgive him the debt. Trade. Well, Mr. Freeman, I can but thank you. 'Egad, you have made a man of me again! and if ever I lay a wager more, may I rot in jail. Free. I assure you, Mr. Tradelove, I was very much concerned, because I was the occasion, though very innocently, I protest. Trade. I dare swear you was, Mr. Freeman. Enter Colonel Feignwell, dressed as a Dutch merchant. Col. F. Ha, mynheer Tradelove, Ik been soory voor your troubles-maer Ik sal you easie maken, Ik will de gelt die hebben Trade. I shall for ever acknowledge the obligation, Sir. Free. But you understand upon what condition, Mr. Tradelove; Miss Lovely. Col. F. Ya, de frow sal al te regt setten, mynheer. Trade. With all my heart, mynheer; you shall have my consent to marry her freely. Free. Well then, as I am a party concerned between you, mynheer Jan Van Timtam irelereletta Heer Van Feignwell shall give you a discharge of your wager under his own hand--and you shall give him your consent to marry Miss Lovely under yours-that is the way to avoid all manner of disputes hereafter. Col. F. Ya, weeragtig. S Trade. Ay, ay, so it is, Mr. Freeman: I'll Col. F. And so Ik sal. Enter DRAWER. Bid your master come up-I'll see there be witnesses enough to the bargain. Enter SACKBUT. Sack. Do you call, gentlemen? [Aside. and patches? If heaven should make thee so many black spots upon thy face, would it not fright thee, Anne? Miss L. If it should turn you inside outward, and show all the spots of your hypocrisy, 'twould fright me worse! Mrs. P. My hypocrisy! I scorn thy words, Anne: I lay no baits. Miss L. If you did, you'd catch no fish. Mrs. P. Well, well, make thy jests-but I'd have thee to know, Anne, that I could have catched as many fish (as thou call'st them) in Free. Ay, Mr. Sackbut, we shall want your my time, as ever thou didst with all thy fool hand here. Trade. There, mynheer, there's my consent as amply as you can desire; but you must insert your own name, for I know not how to spell it: I have left a blank for it. ness it. [Gives the COLONEL a paper. Col. F. Ya, Ik sal dat well doenFree. Now, Mr. Sackbut, you and I will wit[They write. Col. F. Daer, mynheer Tradelove, is your discharge. [Gives him a paper. Trade. Be pleased to witness this receipt too, gentlemen. [FREEMAN and SACKBUT put their hands. Free. Ay, ay, that we will. Col. F. Well, mynheer, ye most meer doen, ye most myn voorsprach to de frow syn. Free. He means you must recommend him to the lady traps about thee. Miss L. Is that the reason of your formality, Mrs. Prim? Truth will out: 1 ever thought, indeed, there was more design than godliness in the pinched cap. Mrs. P. Go, thou art corrupted with reading lewd plays, and filthy romances-Ah! I wish thou art not already too familiar with the wicked ones. Miss L. Too familiar with the wicked ones! Pray, no more of these freedoms, Madam-I am familiar with none so wicked as yourselfHow dare you thus talk to me! you, you, you, unworthy woman, you. [Bursts into tears. Enter TRADEelove. Trade. What, in tears, Nancy? What have you done to her, Mrs. Prim, to make her Trade. That I will, and to the rest of my bro-weep? ther guardians. Col. F. Wat voor, de duyvel heb you meer guardians? Trade. Only three, mynheer. Col. F. What donder heb ye myn betrocken, mynheer?-Had Ik dat gewoeten, Ik soude eaven met you geweest syn. Sack. But Mr. Tradelove is the principal, and he can do a great deal with the rest, Sir. Free. And he shall use his interest, I promise you, mynheer. Trade. I will say all that ever I can think on to recommend you, mynheer; and if you please, I'll introduce you to the lady. Col. F. Well, dat is waer-Maer ye must first spreken of myn to de frow, and to oudere gentlemen. Free. Ay, that's the best way-and then I and the Heer Feignwell will meet you there. Trade. I will go this moment, upon honour. Your most obedient humble servant. My speaking will do you little good, mynheer: ha, ha! we have bit you, faith: ha, ha! Well-my delt's discharg'd, and as for Nan, He has my consent to get her, if he can. [Exit. Col. F. Ha, ha, ha! this was a masterpiece of contrivance, Freeman. Free. He hugs himself with his supposed good fortune, and little thinks the luck's on our side! But come, pursue the fickle goddess, while she's in the mood-Now for the quaker. Col. F. That's the hardest task. Of all the counterfeits perform'd by mar, ACT V. [Exeunt. SCENE I.-An Apartment in PRIM's House. MRS. PRIM and MISS LOVELY, in Quaker's dresses, meeting. Mrs. P. So, now I like thee, Anne: art thou not better without thy monstrous hoop-coat Miss L. Done to me! I admire I keep my senses among you; but I will rid myself of your tyranny, if there be either law or justice to be had. I'll force you to give me up my liberty. Mrs. P. Thou hast more need to weep for thy sins, Anne-Yea, for thy manifold sins. Miss L. Don't think that I'll be still the fool which you have made me. No, I'll wear what I please-go when and where I please-and keep what company I think fit, and not what you shall direct-I will. Trade. For my part, I do think all this very reasonable, Miss Lovely; 'tis fit you should have your liberty, and for that very purpose I am come. Enter PERIWINKLE and OBADIAH PRIM, with a letter in his hand. Per. I have bought some black stockings of your husband, Mrs. Prim, but he tells me the glover's trade belongs to you; therefore, I pray you look me out five or six dozen of mourning gloves, such as are given at funerals, and send them to my house. Obad. My friend, Periwinkle, has got a good windfall to-day-seven hundred a year. Mrs. P. I wish thee joy of it, neighbour. Obad. This letter recommendeth a speaker; Trade. We must marry her, Mr. Prim. Obad. Why truly, if we could find a husband worth having, I should be as glad to see her married as thou wouldst neighbour. Per. Well said, there are but few worth hav- | Was there ever such a swarm of caterpillars ing. Trade. I can recommend you a man now, that I think you can none of you have an objection to! Enter SIR PHILIP MODELOVE. Per. You recommend? Nay, whenever she marries, I'll recommend the husbandSir P. What, must it be a whale, or a rhinoceros, Mr. Periwinkle? ha, ha, ha! Per. He shall be none of the fops at your end of the town, with full perukes and empty skulls,-nor yet any of our trading gentry, who puzzle the heralds to find arms for their coaches. No, he shall be a man famous for travels, solidity, and curiosity-one who has searched into the profundity of nature! When heaven shall direct such a one, he shall have my consent, because it may turn to the benefit of mankind. Miss L. The benefit of mankind! What, would you anatomize me? Sir P. Ay, ay, Madam, he would dissect you. to blast the hopes of a woman! [Aside.] A harder task than what the poets tell Enter SERVANT. Obid. The woman is mad. Sir P. So are you all, in my opinion. [Exit. Obad. Friend Tradelove, business requireth my presence. Trade. Oh, I shan't trouble you-Pox take Trade. Or, pore over you through a micros-him for an unmannerly dog-However, I have cope, to see how your blood circulates from kept my word with my Dutchman, and I'll the crown of your head to the sole of your foot introduce him too for all you. -ha, ha! but I have a husband for you, a man that knows how to improve your fortune; one that trades to the four corners of the globe. Miss L. And would send me for a venture perhaps. Trade. One that will dress you in all the pride of Europe, Asia, Africa, and America -a Dutch merchant, my girl. Sir P. A Dutchman!, ha, ha! there's a husband for a fine lady.-Ya frow, will you meet myn slapen-ha, ha! he'll learn you to talk the language of the hogs, Madam, ha, ha! Trade. He'll teach you that one merchant is of more service to a nation than fifty coxcombs. "Tis the merchant makes the belle.How would the ladies sparkle in the box, without the merchant? the Indian diamond the French brocade! the Italian fan! the Flanders lace! the fine Dutch holland! how would they vent their scandal over the teatables? and where would your beaux have Champagne to toast their mistresses, were it not for the merchant? Obad. Verily, neighbour Tradelove, thou dost waste thy breath about nothing-All that thou hast said tendeth only to debauch youth, and fill their heads with the pride and luxury of this world.-The merchant is a very great friend to Satan, and sendeth as many to his dominions as the Pope. Per. Right; I say, knowledge makes the man. Obad. Yea, but not thy kind of knowledge -it is the knowledge of truth-Search thou for the light within, and not for baubles, friend. Miss L. Ah, study your country's good, Mr. Periwinkle, and not her insects.-Rid you of your homebred monsters, before you fetch any from abroad.-I dare swear you have maggots enough in your own brain to stock all the virtuosos in Europe with butterflies. Sir P. By my soul, Miss Nancy's a wit. Obad. That is more than she can say of thee, friend.-Lookye, 'tis in vain to talk; when I meet a man worthy of her, she shall have my leave to marry him. Enter COLONEL, in a Quaker's habit. Obad. Friend Pure, thou art welcome: how is it with friend Holdfast, and all friends in Bristol? Timothy Littleworth, John Slenderbrain, and Christopher Keepfaith? Col. F. A goodly company! [Aside.] They are all in health, I thank thee for them. Obad. Friend Holdfast writes me word, how do all friends there? that thou camest lately from Pennsylvania: Col. F. What the devil shall I say? I know just as much of Pennsylvania as I do of Bristol.. [Aside. Obad. Do they thrive? Col. F. Yea, friend, the blessing of their good works fall upon them. Enter MRS. PRIM and MISS LOVELY. O'ad. Sarah, know our friend Pure. Mrs. P. Thou art welcome. [He salutes her. Col. F. Here comes the sum of all my wishes-How charming she appears even in that disguise! [Aside. Obad. Why dost thou consider the maiden so attentively, friend? Col. F. I will tell thee: about four days ago I saw a vision-This very maiden, but in vain attire, standing on a precipice, and heard a voice which called me by my name-and bid me put forth my hand and save her from the pit. I did so, and methought the damsel grew unto my side. Mrs. P. What can that portend? Obad. The damsel's conversion-I am persuaded. Miss L. That's false, I'm sure- [Aside. Obad. Wilt thou use the means, friend Pure? Col. F. Means! what means? is she not thy daughter, already one of the faithful? Mrs. P. No, alas! she's one of the ungodly. Obad. Pray thee mind what this good man will say unto thee: he will teach thee the way thou shouldst walk, Anne. Miss L. I know my way without his instruction: I hoped to have been quiet when once I had put on your odious formality here. Col. F. Then thou wearest it out of comMiss L. Provided he be of the faithful-pulsion, not choice, friend? Miss L. Thou art in the right of it, friend-|plain the other article unto thee: In the meanMrs. P. Art thou not ashamed to mimic the while, be thou dutiful to our friend Prim. good man! Ah! thou stubborn girl. Miss L. I shall obey thee in every thing. [OBADIAH comes forward. Obad. Oh, what a prodigious change is here! thou hast wrought a miracle, friend! Anne, how dost thou like the doctrine he hath preached? Col. F. Mind her not; she hurteth not meIf thou wilt leave her alone with me, I will discuss some few points with her, that may perchance soften her stubbornness, and melt her into compliance. Obad. Content: I pray thee put it home to her.-Come, Sarah, let us leave the good man with her. Miss L. [Catching hold of PRIM; he breaks loose; exeunt OBAD. and MRS. P.] What, do you mean to leave me with this old enthusiastical canter? don't think, because I complied with your formality, to impose your ridiculous doctrine upon me. Col. F. I pray thee, young woman, moderate thy passion. Miss L. I pray thee, walk after thy leader, you will but lose your labour upon me.-These wretches will certainly make me mad! Col. F. I am of another opinion! the spirit telleth me I shall convert thee, Anne. Miss L. 'Tis a lying spirit, don't believe it. Col. F. Say'st thou so? Why then thou shalt convert me, my angel. [Catching her in his arms. Miss L. [Shrieks.] Ah! monster, hold off, or I'll tear thy eyes out. Col. F. Hush! for heaven's sake-dost thou not know me? 1 am Feignwell. Miss L. Feignwell! Re-enter OBADIAH PRIM. Oh, I'm undone! Prim here--I wish with all my soul I had been dumb. Obad. What is the matter? why didst thou shriek out, Anne? Miss L. Shriek out! I'll shriek and shriek again, cry murder, thieves, or any thing, to drown the noise of that eternal babbler, if you leave me with him any longer. Obad. Was that all? Fie, fie, Anne. Col. F. No matter, I'll bring down her stomach, I'll warrant thee-Leave us, I pray thee? Obad. Fare thee well. Verily, I was afraid the flesh had got the better of the spirit. [Exit. Col. F. My charming lovely woman! [Embraces her. Miss L. What meanest thou by this disguise, Feignwell? Col. F. To set thee free, if thou wilt perform thy promise. Miss L. Make me mistress of my fortune, and make thy own conditions. Miss L. So well, that I could talk to him for ever, methinks-1 am ashamed of my former folly, and ask your pardon. Col. F. Enough, enough, that thou art sorry: he is no pope, Anne. Obad. True, I am no pope, Anne. Verily, thou dost rejoice me exceedingly, friend: will it please thee to walk into the next room, and refresh thyself?-Come, take the maiden by the hand. Col. F. We will follow thee. Serv. There is another Simon Pure, inquireth for thee, master. [Aside. Col. F. The devil there is. Obad. Another Simon Pure! I do not know him, is he any relation of thine? Col. F. No, friend, I know him not.-Pox take him: I wish he were in Pennsylvania again, with all my soul. [Aside. Miss L. What shall I do? Col. F. Humph! then one of us must go down, that's certain.-Now, impudence assist me. Enter SIMON Pure. [Aside. Obad. What is thy will with me, friend? Simon. Didst thou not receive a letter from Aminadab Holdfast, of Bristol, concerning one Simon Pure? Obad. Yes, and Simon Pure is already here, friend. Col. F. And Simon Pure will stay here, friend, if it be possible. [Aside. Simon. That's an untruth, for I am he. Col. F. Take thou heed, friend, what thou dost say: I do affirm that I am Simon Pure. Simon. Thy name may be Pure, friend, but not that _Pure. Col. F. Yea, that Pure which my good friend, Aminadab Holdfast, wrote to my friend Prim about: the same Simon Pure that came from Pennsylvania, and sojourned in Bristol eleven days: thou wouldst not take my name from me, wouldst thou?-till I have done with it. [Aside. Simon. Thy name! I am astonished!' Col. F. At what? at thy own assurance? [Going up to him, SIMON PURE starts back. Simon. Avaunt, Satan, approach me not: I defy thee, and all thy works. Miss L. Oh, he'll out-cant him.-Undone, undone for ever. [Aside. Col. F. This night shall answer all my wishes. See here I have the consent of three of thy guardians already, doubt not but Prim will make the fourth. [OBADIAH listening. Obad. I would gladly hear what arguments the good man useth to bend her. [Aside. Col. F. Hark thee, friend, thy sham will Miss L. Thy words give me new life, me-not take-Don't exert thy voice, thou art too thinks. well acquainted with Satan to start at him, thou wicked reprobate-What can thy design be here? Obad. What do I hear? Miss L. Thou best of men, heaven meant to bless me sure, when I first saw thee. Obad. He hath mollified her; O wonderful conversion! Col. F. [Softly.] Ha! Prim listening.-No more, my love, we are observed: seem to be edified, and give 'em hopes that thou wilt turn quaker, and leave the rest to me. [Aloud.] I am glad to find that thou art touched with what I said unto thee, Anne; another time I will ex Enter a SERVANT, who gives PRIM a letter. Obad. One of these must be a counterfeit, but which I cannot say. Col. F. What can that letter be? Simon. Thou must be the devil, friend, that's certain; for no human power can speak so great a falsehood. Obad. This letter sayeth that thou art better acquainted with that prince of darkness, than Obad. Dost thou hear this? [Pointing at the COLONEL. Col. F. Ah! thou wicked one-now I consider thy face, I remember thou didst come up in the leathern conveniency with me-thou hadst a black bob-wig on, and a brown camlet coat with brass buttons.-Canst thou deny it, ha? Simon. Yes, I can, and with a safe conscience, too, friend. Obad. Verily, friend, thou art the most impudent villain I ever saw. Miss L. Nay, then, I'll have a fling at him. Aside.] I remember the face of this fellow at BathAy, this is he that picked my lady Raffle's pocket in the grove-Don't you remember that the mob pumped you, friend?————— This is the most notorious rogue Simon. What does provoke thee to seek my life? Thou wilt not hang me, wilt thou, wrongfully? Obad. She will do thee no hurt, nor thou shalt do me none; therefore get thee about thy business, friend, and leave thy wicked course of life, or thou mayest not come off so favourably every where. Simon, I pray thee, put him forth. Col. F. Go, friend, I would advise thee, and tempt thy fate no more. Simon. Yes, I will go; but it shall be to thy confusion; for I shall clear myself; I will return with some proofs that shall convince thee, Obadiah, that thou art highly imposed on. Exit. Col. F. Then there will be no staying for me, that's certain-what the devil shall I do? [Aside. Obad. What monstrous works of iniquity are there in this world, Simon? Col. F. Yea, the age is full of vice'Sdeath, I am so confounded I know not what to say. [Aside. Obad. Thou art disordered, friend-art thou not well? the spirit resisteth the vanities of this world, but the flesh is rebellious, yea, the flesh-I greatly fear the flesh, and the weakness thereof-hum Obad. The maid is inspired. [Aside.] Prodigious! The damsel is filled with the spirit -Sarah. Enter MRS. PRIM. change in our beloved Anne. I came to tell Mrs. P. I am greatly rejoiced to see such a thee, that supper stayeth for thee. spirit longeth for more delicious meat!-fain methinks-that I must be subject to the will Obad. What a revelation is here! This is certainly part of thy vision, friend; this is the maiden's growing unto thy side: ah! with sent, could I give thee her fortune too-but what willingness should I give thee my conthou wilt never get the consent of the wicked ones. thy hand, good Obadiah Prim, and now be Miss L. I see, I see! the spirit guiding of see myself within thy arms, my friend and hold thou art signing thy consent-and now I and flesh of thy flesh. [Embracing him.] Hum— brother, yea, I am become bone of thy bone, both-friend Prim, thou must consent; there's Mrs. P. The spirit hath greatly moved them no resisting of the spirit! Obad. Fetch me the pen and ink, Sarahand my hand shall confess its obedience to the spirit. [Exit MRS. PRIM. Col. F. I wish it were over. [Aside. Re-enter MRS. PRIM, with pen and ink. Miss L. I tremble lest this quaking rogue should return, and spoil all. Aside. spirit prompteth, and I will sign it. Obad. Here, friend, do thou write what the [COL. F. sits down. Col. F. [Reads.] This is to certify to all whom Col. F. My spirit is greatly troubled, and it may concern, that I do freely give all my right something telleth me, that though I have and title in Anne Lovely to Simon Pure, and my wrought a good work in converting this full consent that she shall become his wife accordmaiden, this tender maiden, yet my labouring to the form of marriage. Witness my hand. will be in vain; for the evil spirit fighteth Obad. That's enough-give me the pen. against her and I see, yea, I see with the eye of my inward man, that Satan will re-buffet her again, whenever I withdraw myself from her, and she will, yea, this very damsel will return again to that abomination from whence I have retrieved her, as it were, yea, as if it were out of the jaws of the fiend. Miss L. I must second him. [Aside.] What meaneth this struggling within me? I feel [Signs it. Enter BETTY, running to Miss LOVELY. Betty. Oh! Madam, Madam, here's the quaking man again: he has brought a coachman, and two or three more. Miss L. Ruined past redemption! |