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SCENE V-A Village Alehouse Door. Nursing in bosom a treacherous viper ; Pan is discovered sitting at a table, with a tan- Here's a fine dance-but'tis he pays the piper. kard, pipes, and tobacco before him; his bag
[Ereunt, pipes lying by him.
SCENE VI.- A Wood and Lawn near SILENO'S Pan. Jupiter wenches and drinks,
A tender slow symphony: DAPHNE crosses, me-
lancholy and silent; Nysa watching her. Juno rates him,
Nysa. O ho; is it $0—Miss Daphne in the And grates him,
dumps ? And leads his highness a weary life; Mum-snug's the word—I'll lead her such a I have my lass,
Shall make her stir her stumps.
To all her secret haunts,
Like a shadow I'll follow and watch her;
And, faith, mamma shall hear on't if I catch Yet cringe to his haridan's furbelow;
Daph. La; how my heart goes pit-a-pat;
what thumping, Dam. There sits the old soaker, his pate E'er since my father brought us home this troubling little
bumpkin. How the world wags, so he gets drink and
He's as tight a lad to see to,
[ter. And to him I'll prove true blue. Tickled by his guitar-they scorn your chan- Though my sister cast a hawk's eye, AIR.
I defy what she can do ;
He o'erlook'd the little doxy,
I'm the girl he means to woo.
Hither I stole out to meet him,
He'll no doubt my steps pursue ;
If the youth prove true, I'll fit him ;
If he's false-I'll fit him too.
Pol. Think o'the devil—'tis said,
He's at your shoulder-
This wench was running in my head,
And pop-behold her.
Lovely nymph, assuage my anguish:
At your feet a tender swain,
Prays you will not let him languish,
One kind look would ease his pain.
Did you know the lad who courts you,
He not long needs sue in vain :
Prince of song, of dance, of sports-you
Scarce will meet his like again.
Daph. Sir: you're such an olio
Of perfection in folio, sluts frantic !
No damsel can resist you: Both in their tantrums, for yon cap'ring antic.
Your face so attractive, But I'll go seek 'em all-and if I find 'em,
Limbs so supple and active, I'll drive 'em-as if old Nick were behind'em.
That, by this light, [Going.
At the first sight,
I could have run and kiss'd you.
If you can caper, as well as you modulate,
With the addition of that pretty face, Mysis. Sure I shall run with vexation dis- Pan, who was held by our shepherds' a god tracted,
o'late, To see my purposes thus counteracted!
Will be kick'd out, and you set in his This way, or that way, or which way soever,
place. All things run contrary to my endeavour. His beard so frowsy, bis gestures so awkward Daughters projecting,
are, Their rnin and shame,
And his bagpipe has so drowsy a drone, Fathers neglecting
That if they find you, as I did, no backwarder, The care of their fame ;
You may count on all the girls as your own. will fall
(ACT IT. Mysis. (From within.] Pol, Pol, make haste, Would she yield now-I swear by the lord come hither.
The moment madam's coffin'd-her I'll marry. Oh! rot your old lungs of leather.
O what pleasures will abound,
Let earth cover her,
We'll dance over her,
Oh how happy should I be,
Would little Nysa pig with me!
How I'd mumble her,
Touze and tumble her,
Would little Nysa pig with me!
Nysa. Young birds alone are caught with
At your base scheme I laugh. [chaff, DUET.
Mid. Yet take my vows.Daph. My minikin Miss, do you fancy that Nysa. I would not take your bond, Sir, Pol
Mid. Half my estateCan ever be caught by an infant's Nysa. No, nor the whole--my fond Sir. Nysa. Can you, Miss Maypole, suppuse he
[Erit. shall ? Mid. Well, master Poll I'll tickle, In love with the giantess of Guild
For him, at least, I have a rod in picDaph. Pigmy elf,
When he's in limbo,
[kle: Nysa. Colossus itself,
Not thus our hoity-toity miss Both. You will lie till you're mouldy upon
Will stick her arms a-kimbo. the shelf. Dapk. You stump o'th' gutter, you hop o’my
Enter Pan. thumb,
Pan. So, 'squire, well met-I flew to know A husband for you must from Lilliput
your business. Nysa. You stalking steeple, you gawky stag, Mid. Why, Pan, this Pol we must bring him Your husband must come from Brob
on his knees. dignag.
Pan. That were a feat indeed; -a feat to Daph. Sour grapes,
brag on. Nysa. Lead apes;
Mid. Let's home-we'll there concert it as Both.I'll humbleyourvanity,MistressTrapes.
we wag on; Daph. Miss, your assurance,
I'll make him skipNysa. And, Miss, your high airs
Pan. As St. George did the dragon. Daph. Is
past all endurance, Nysa. Are at their last prayers.
[Exeunt. Daph. No more of these freedoms, Miss
SCENE II.-A Lawn before Midas' House. Nysa, I beg. Nysa. Miss Daphne's conceit must be low
Enter Nysa. er'd a peg:
Nysa. Good lack! what is come o'er me! Daph. Poor spite!
Daphne has stepp'd before me!
Envy and love devour me,
Pol dotes upon her phiz hard! Nysa. Rare sport!
'Tis that sticks in my gizzard. Daph. Do show your teeth, spitfire, do, but Midas appears now iwenty times more hideous: you can't bite;
Ah, Nysa, what resource ?
And turn a nun,
In these greasy old tatters
His charms brighter shine :
Then his guitar he clatters
With tinkling, divine:
But my sister,
Ah! he kiss'd her,
And me he pass'a by;
Of the fellow's
Bad taste and blind eye. (Exit.
SCENE III.--Midas' Parlour.
Midas, Mysis, and Pan, discovered in consulta-
tion over a large bowl of punch, pipes, and A miss can you lack
tobacco, Who have a wife already ?
Mid. Come, Pan, your toast Mid. Ay, ay, there's the cursebut she is, Pan. Here goes our noble umpire. old and sickly ;
Mysis. And Pol's defeat-I'll pledge it in a And would my Nysa grant the favour quickly, bumper,
Mid. Hang him, in every scheme that whelp Sil. Name her not, hag of Endor, has cross'd us.
What knew she of thee but thy coffers? Mysis. Sure he's the devil himself;
‘Dam. And shall this ditch-born whelp, this Pan. Or Doctor Faustus.
jack-an-apes, Mysis. Ah! squire--for Pan would you By dint of congees and of scrapes— but stoutly stickle,
Sil. These are thy slanders and that canThis Pol would soon be in a wretched pickle.
ker'd hag's Pan. You reason right
Dam. A thing made up of pilfer'd rags; Mid. His toby I shall tickle.
Sil. Richer than thou with all thy brags Mysis. Look, 'squire, I've sold my butter, Of tlocks, and herds, and money bags. here the price is
In perfection he'll find out a flaw; nobis.
With black he will paint,
Make a de'il of a saint,
And change to an owl a maccaw.
Dam. Can a father pretend to be wise,
Who his friend's good advice would de-
Who, when danger is nigh, [spise ?
Throws his spectacles by,
And blinks through a green girl's eyes?
Sil. You're an impudent pimp and a grub. 'Blood, he shall fly his country that's enough. Dam. You are fool'd by a beggarly scrub; Pan. Well said, my lad of wax.
Your betters you snub. Mid. Let's end the tankard,
Sil. Who will lend me a club, I have no head for business till I've drank hard.
This insolent puppy to drub? Pan. Nor have my guts brains in them till
You're an impudent pimp and a grub, they're addle,
Dam. You're cajol'd by a beggarly scrub, When I'm most rocky, I best sit my saddle. Sil. Who will rot in a powdering tub, Mid. Well, come, let's take one bouze, and Dam. Whom the prince of impostors I dub; roar a catch,
Sil. A guinea for a club, Then part to our affairs.
Dam. You're bald pate you'll rub, Pan. A match.
Sil. This muckworm to drub. Mysis. A match.
Dam. When you find that your cub,
Sil. Rub off, sirrah, rub, sirrah, rub.
Dam. Is debauch'd by a whipp'd syllabub. Mid. Master Pol
(Exeunt. And his toll de roll loll,
Enter Mysis, attended by Daphne and Nysa. I'll buffet away from the plain, Sir. Pan. And I'll assist
Mysis. Soh! you attend the trial—we shall
drive hence Your worship's fist
With all my might and main, Sir. Your vagabond-
Sil. I smoke your foul contrivance.
Daph. Ah, Nys, our fate depends upon this
issue Mid. I'll bluff,
Nysa. Dapb-for your sake my claim I here Pan. I'll rough,
forego; Mys. I'll huft,
And with your Pol much joy I wish you.. Mid. I'll cuff,
Daph. O, gemini, say'st thou me so ? All. And I'll warrant we pepper his Dear creature, let me kiss you. jacket.
Nysa. Let's kneel, and beg his stay, papa Mid. For all his cheats,
will back us.
Daph. Mamma will storm.
Nysa. What then? she can but whack us.
Daph. Mother, sure you never
From my favour
So sweet a swain;
None so clever
E'er trod the plain.
Nysa. Father, hopes you gave her,
Don't deceive her,
Can you leave her
Sunk for ever
In pining care ?
Haste and save her
From black despair.
Daph. Think of his modest grace, Sil. My Daph, a wife for thee; the 'squire's
His voice, shape, and face; base pander!
Nysa. Hearts alarming, To the plantations sooner would I send her. Daph. Bosoms warming, Dam. Sir, your good wife approv'd my Nysa. Wrath disarming, offers.
Daph. With his soft lay:
Nysa. He's so charming,
Dam. Masters, will you abide by this conAy, let him stay,
dition ? Both. He's so charming, &c.
Pan. I ask no better.
Pol. I'm all submission.
Pan. Strike up, sweet Sir.
Pol. Sir, I attend your leisure.
Mid. Pan, take the lead,
Pan. Since 'tis your worship’s pleasure.
A pox on your pother about this or that; Dam. Must Pan resign to this fop his em- Your shrieking or squeaking, a sharp or á flat; ployment? joyment?
I'm sharp by my bumpers, you're a flat, masMust I to him yield of Daph the en- So here goes a set-to at toll de roll loll.
ter Pol; Mysis. Ne'er while a tongue I brandish, Fop outlandish
When beauty her rack of poor lovers would Daph shall blandish.
[scamper; Dam. Will you reject my income,
And after Miss Will-o'the-Wisp the fools Herds and clinkum?
Ding dong, in sing song, they the lady extol: Sil. Rot and sink 'em.
Pray what's all this fuss for, but-toll de Dam. Midas must judge.
Mankind are a medley- -a chance-medley Mysis. You lie.
[chase: Dam. You lie,
All start in full cry, to give dame Fortune Mysis.
There's catch as catch can, hit or miss, luck is Dam. You lie, you lie.
And luck's the best tune of life's toll de roll Enter Midas, enraged, attended ly a crowd of I've done, please your worship, 'tis rather Nymphs and Swains.
too long; Mid. Peace, ho! Is hell broke loose? what
[Mid. Not at all.] means this jawing ?
I only meant life is but an old song: Under my very nose this clapper-clawing ! The world's but a tragedy, comedy, droll; AIR.
Where all act the scene of toll de roll roll. What the devil's here to do,
Mid. By jingo, well perform’d for one of Ye loggerheads and gipsies?
(visage? Sirrah you, and hussy you,
Now, hang dog, don't you blush to show your And each of you tipsy is :
Pol. Why, master Midas, for that matter, But I'll as sure pull down your pride as
'Tis enough to dash one, A gun, or as I'm justice Midas.
To hear the arbitrator,
In such unseemly fashion,
One of the candidates bespatter,
With so much partial passion.
(Midas falls asleep. Mid. I'm given to understand that you are
AIR. all in a pother here; Disputing whether Pan or Pol shall pipe to Ah,
happy hours, how fleeting, you another year.
'Ye danc'd on down away ; Do you think your clumsy ears so proper to
When, my soft vows repeating, decide, as
At Daphne's feet I lay! The delicate ears of justice Midas ?
But from her charms when sunder'd,
As Midas' frowns presage,
Each hour will seem a hundred;
Each day appear an age. ble ?
Mid. Silence-this just decree, all at your Enter Pol and Pan, severally.
Obedient hear-else I shall use you very ill. Oh, here comes Pol and Pan-now stint your gabble. [squabble,
Pan shall remain,
Pol quit the plain.
Chorus. O, tremendous, &c. 1'11 be treated
Mid. All bow with me to mighty PanLike the sophi on his throne;
[himIn my presence,
No pouting--and with festal chorus crown Scoundrel peasants
[The crowd form two ranks beside the chair, Shall not call their souls their own. and join in the Chorus, whilst Midas crowns My behest is,
him with bays. He who best is, Shall be fix'd musician chief;
Chorus. See triumphant sits the bard, Ne'er the loser
Crown'd with bays, his due reward; Shall show nose here,
Exil'd Pol shall wander far ;
Exild, twang his faint guitar;
While with echoing shouts of praise, Chorus. O tremendous, &c.
We the bagpipe's glory raise.
Mid. 'Tis well. What keeps you here,
FINALE. you ragamuflin?
Apol. Thou, a Billingsgate quean, Go trudge- -or do you wait for a good cuf.
[To Mysis. Pol. Now all attend
Thou, a pandar obscene, (Throws off his disguise, and appears
With strumpets and bailiffs shall class; as APOLLO.
Thou, driven from man, [To Midas. The wrath of Jove for rapine,
Shalt wander with Pan;
[ass, &c. Corruption, lust, pride, fraud, there's no
He a stinking old goat, thou an ass, an escaping
Be thou squire-his estate [TO SILENO. Tremble, thou wretch; thou stretch'd thy
To thee I translate. utmost tether;
To you his strong chests, wicked mass; Thou and thy tools shall go to pot together.
[TO' DAPHNE and NYSA. AIR.
Live happy, while 1,
Recall'd to the sky,
Make all the gods laugh at Midas.
Daph. Sil. Nysa, To the bright god of day,
together with the Let us dance, sing, and Thy scurvy decree,
play For Pan against me,
Daph. Now, critics, lie snug,
Not a hiss, groan, or shrug ; On our marrow-bones we fall.
Remember the fate of Midas, Mysis. Be merciful.
Midas; Dam. Be pitiful.
Remember the fate of Midas. Mid. Forgive us, mighty Sol.- -Alas! alas!
Chorus. Now, critics, lie snug, &c.
other Nymphs und Claphanás every lad with