ÆäÀÌÁö À̹ÌÁö
PDF
ePub

Mir. [Discovering himself] No, my fair angel, but let me repent; here on my knees behold the criminal that vows repentance his.tia! no concern upon her?

Enter OLD MIRABEL.

Old Mir. Where, where's this counterfeit

nun?

Ori. Madness! confusion! I'm ruined!

Mir. What do I hear? [Puts on his hood.] What did you say, Sir?

Old Mir. I say she's a counterfeit, and you may be another, for aught I know, Sir; I have lost my child by these tricks, Sir.

Mir. What tricks, Sir?

Old Mir. By a pretended trick, Sir. A contrivance to bring my son to reason, and it has made him stark mad; I have lost him and a thousand pounds a year.

Mir. [Discovering himself.] My dear father, I'm your most humble servant,

Old Mir. My dear boy, welcome ex inferis, my dear boy; 'tis all a trick, she's no more a nun than I am.

[blocks in formation]

that's all.

ness.

Ori. Shame and confusion, love, anger, and disappointment, will work my brain to mad[Exit. Mir. Ay, ay, throw by the rags, they have served a turn for us both, and they shall e'en go off together.

[Exit, throwing away the habit.

SCENE III.-OLD MIRABEL'S House.

Enter DURETETE, with a letter. Dur. [Reads.] My rudeness was only a proof of your humour, which I have found so agreeable, that I own myself penitent, and willing to make any reparation upon your first appearance to BISARRE.

Mirabel swears she loves me, and this confirms it; then farewell gallantry, and welcome revenge; 'tis my turn now to be upon the sublime; I'll take her off, I warrant her. Enter BISARRE.

Well, mistress, do you love me?

Bis. I hope, Sir, you will pardon the modesty of

Dur. Of what? of a dancing devil?-Do you love me, I say?

Bis. Perhaps I

Dur. What?

Bis. Perhaps I do not.

Dur. Ha! abused again! Death, woman, I'll

Bis. Hold, hold, Sir; I do, I do!

Dur. Confirm it then by your obedience; stand there, and ogle me now, as if your heart, blood, and soul, were like to fly out at your eyes-First, the direct surprise. [She looks full upon him.] Right; next the deux yeux par oblique. [She gives him the side glance.] Right; now depart and languish. [She turns from him and looks over her shoulder.] Very well; now sigh. [She sighs.] Now drop your fan on purpose. She drops her fan.] Now take it up again: Come now, confess your faults; are you not a proud-say after me. Bis. Proud.

Dur. Impertinent. Bis. Impertinent. Dur. Ridiculous. Bis. Ridiculous. Dur. Flirt.

Bis. Puppy.

Dur. Zoons! woman, don't provoke me; we are alone, and you don't know but the devil may tempt me to do you a mischief; ask my pardon immediately.

Bis. I do, Sir; I only mistook the word. Dur. Cry then; have you got e'er a handkerchief? Bis. Yes, Sir.

Dur. Cry, then, handsomely; cry like a queen in a tragedy.

[She pretends to cry, bursts out a laughing. Enter six LADIES, laughing.

[blocks in formation]

hear me.

Bis. Will you ever attempt a lady's honour again?

Dur. If you please to let me get away with my honour, I'll do any thing in the world. Bis. Will you persuade your friend to marry mine?

Dur, O yes, to be sure.

Bis. And will you do the same by me? Dur. Burn me if I do, if the coast be clear.

[Exit. Bis. Ha, ha, ha! Come, ladies, we'll go make an end of our tea. [Exeunt.

Enter MIRABEL and OLD MIRABEL. Mir. Your patience, Sir. I tell you I won't marry; and though you send all the bishops in France to persuade me, I shall never believe their doctrine against their practice. You would compel me to that state, which I have heard you curse yourself, when my mother and you have battled it for a whole week together.

Old Mir. Never but once, you rogue, and that was when she longed for six Flanders mares: ay, Sir, then she was breeding of you, which showed what an expensive dog I should have of you.

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

Enter PETIT. Well, Petit, how does she now?

Pet. Mad, Sir, con pompos-Ay, Mr. Mirabel, you'll believe that I speak truth now, when I confess that I have told you hitherto nothing but lies; our jesting is come to a sad earnest, she's downright distracted.

Re-enter BISARRE.

Bis. Where is this mighty victor?—The great exploit is done; go triumph in the glory of your conquest, inhuman, barbarous man! O Sir, [To OLD MIRABEL.] your wretched ward has found a tender guardian of you; where her young innocence expected protection, here has she found her ruin.

Old Mir. Ay, the fault is mine, for I believe that rogue wont marry, for fear of begetting such another disobedient son as his father did. I have done all I can, Madam, and now can do no more than run mad for company. [Cries.

Enter DUGARD, with his sword drawn. Dug. Away! Revenge, revenge. Old. Mir. Patience, patience, Sir. [OLD MIRABEL holds him.] Bob, draw. [Aside. Dug. Patience! The coward's virtue, and the brave man's failing, when thus provoked -Villain!

Mir. Your sister's frenzy shall excuse your madness; and to show my concern for what she suffers, I'll bear the villain from her brother.-Put up your anger with your sword; I have a heart like yours, that swells at an affront received, but melts at an injury given; and if the lovely Oriana's grief be such a moving scene, 'twill find a part within this breast, perhaps as tender as a brother's.

Dug. To prove that soft compassion for her grief, endeavour to remove it.-There, there, behold an object that's infective; I cannot view her, but I am as mad as she.

Enter ORIANA; they place her in a chair.

A sister that my dying parents left with their last words and blessing to my care. Sister, dearest sister.

Old Mir. Ay, poor child, poor child, d'ye

know me?

Ori. You! you are Amadis de Gaul, Sir; Oh! oh my heart! Were you never in love, fair lady? And do you never dream of flowers and gardens?—I dream of walking fires, and tall gigantic sights. Take heed, it comes now -What's that? Pray stand away I have seen that face sure.-How light my head is!" Mir. What piercing charms has beauty even in madness-Come, Madam, try to repose a little.

Ori. I cannot; for I must be up to go to church, and I must dress me, put on my new gown, and be so fine, to meet my love. Hey, ho! Will not you tell me where my heart lies buried?

Mir. My very soul is touched--Your hand, my fair.

Ori. How soft and gentle you feel! I'll tell you your fortune, friend.

Mir. How she stares upon me! Ori. You have a flattering face; but 'tis a fine one I warrant you have five hundred mistresses-Ay, to be sure, a mistress for every guinea in his pocket-Will you pray for me? I shall die to morrow-And will you ring my passing-bell?

Mir. Do you know me, injured creature?

Ori. No, but you shall be my intimate acquaintance-in the grave. [Weeps. Mir. O tears, I must believe you; sure there's a kind of sympathy in madness; for tossed with storms of passion, that I could even I, obdurate as I am, do feel my soul so cry for help as well as she. [Wipes his eyes. Ori. What, have you lost your lover? No, you mock me; I'll go home and pray.

Mir. Stay, my fair innocence, and hear me senses to their place, restore 'em to their charown my love so loud that I may call your ming, happy functions, and reinstate myself into your favour.

Bis. Let her alone, Sir, 'tis all too late; she trembles, hold her; her fits grow stronger by her talking; don't trouble her, she don't know

you, Sir.

loves to see him for all that. Old. Mir. Not know him! what then? she

Re-enter Duretete.

Dur. Where are you all? What the devil! melancholy, and I here! Are ye sad, and such a ridiculous subject, such a very good jest, among you, as I am?

Mir. Away with this impertinence; this is no place for bagatelle; I have murdered my honour, destroyed a lady, and my desire of reputation is come at length too late: see there. Dur. What ails her? Mir. Alas! she's mad.

Dur. Mad! dost wonder at that? By this light, they're all so; they're cozening mad; they're brawling mad; they're proud mad; just now came from a whole world of mad women, that had almost-What, is she dead? Mir. Dead! heavens forbid.

Dur. Heavens further it; for 'till they be as cold as a key, there's no trusting them: you're never sure that a woman's in earnest, till she is nailed in her coffin. Shall I talk to her? Are you mad, mistress?

Bis. What's that to you, Sir? Dur. Oons, Madam, are you there? [Exit, running. Mir. Away, thou wild buffoon; how poor lies and my own I here disclaim; this lady's and mean this humour now appears? His folfrenzy has restored my senses, and was she perfect now, as once she was (before you all speak it,) she should be mine; and as she is, my tears and prayers shall wed her.

Dug. How happy had this declaration been some hours ago.

Bis. Sir, she beckons to you, and waves us to go off; come, come, let's leave 'em. [Exeunt all but MIR and ORI.

Ori. Oh, Sir. Mir. Speak, my charming angel, if your dear senses have regained their order; speak, fair, and bless me with the news.

Ori. First, let me bless the cunning of my sex, and that happy counterfeited frenzy that has restored to my poor labouring breast the dearest, best beloved, of men.

of joy, and carry round your spacious orbs the Mir. Tune, all ye spheres, your instruments happy sound of Oriana's health; her soul, whose harmony was next to yours, is now in tune again; the counterfeiting fair has played the fool.

She was so mad to counterfeit for me ;
I was so mad to pawn my liberty:
But now we both are well, and both are free.
Ori. How, Sir, free?

Mir. As air, my dear bedlamite; what, marry a lunatic? Lookye, my dear, you have counterfeited madness so very well this bout, that you'll be apt to play the fool all your life long. Here, gentlemen.

Ori. Monster! you won't disgrace me? Mir. O'my faith, but I will; here, come in, gentlemen.-A miracle! a miracle! the man's dispossessed, the devil's vanished.

183 Dur. Hoity-toity; did Phillis inspire you with all this?

Mir. Ten times more; the play-house is the element of poetry, because the region of beauty; the ladies, methinks, have a more inspiring triumphant air in the boxes than any where else; they sit commanding on their wo-thrones with all their subject slaves about them: their best clothes, best looks, shining jewels, sparkling_eyes, the treasure of the Re-enter OLD MIRABEL and DUGARD. world in a ring. I could wish that my whole life long were the first night of a new play. Old Mir. Bless us, was she possessed? Dur. The fellow has quite forgot his jourMir. With the worst of demons, Sir, a mar-ney. [Aside.] Have you bespoke post horses? riage-devil, a horrid devil. Mr. Dugard, don't Mir. Grant me but three days, dear Captain, be surprised. I promised my endeavours to one to discover the lady, one to unfold myself, cure your sister; no mad doctor in Christen- and one to make me happy; and then I'm dom could have done it more effectually. Take yours to the world's end. her into your charge; and have a care she don't relapse; if she should, employ me not again, for I am no more infallible than others of the faculty; I do cure sometimes.

Ori. Your remedy, most barbarous man, will prove the greatest poison of my health; for though my former frenzy was but counterfeit, I now shall run into a real madness.

[Exit: OLD MIRABEL follows. Dug. This was a turn beyond my knowledge; I'm so confused, I know not how to resent it. [Exit. Mir. What a dangerous precipice have I 'scaped! Was not I just now on the brink of destruction?

Enter DURETete.

Oh, my friend, let me run into thy bosom; no lark, escaped from the devouring pounces of a hawk, quakes with more dismal apprehension. Dur. The matter, man!

Mir. Marriage, hanging; I was just at the gallows' foot, the running noose about my neck, and the cart wheeling from me.-Oh-I shan't be myself this month again.

Dur. Did not I tell you so? They are all

alike, saints or devils.

Mir. Ay, ay; there's no living here with security; this house is so full of stratagem and design, that I must abroad again.

Dur. With all my heart, I'll bear thee company, my lad; I'll meet you at the play; and we'll set out for Italy to-morrow morning. Mir. A match; I'll go pay my compliment of leave to my father presently.

Dur. I'm afraid he'll stop you.

Mir. What, pretend a command over me after his settlement of a thousand pounds a

year upon me? No, no, he has passed away
his authority with the conveyance; the will of
a living father is chiefly obeyed for the sake of
the dying one.
[Exeunt.

[blocks in formation]

Dur. Hast thou the impudence to promise thyself a lady of her figure and quality in so short a time?

Mir. Yes, Sir-I have a confident address, no disagreeable person, and five hundred louis-d'ors in my pocket.

Dur. Five hundred louis-d'ors! You an't mad?

Mir. I tell you she's worth five thousand; one of her black brilliant eyes is worth a diamond as big as her head. I compared her necklace with her looks, and the living jewels out-sparkled the dead one by a million.

Dur. But you have owned to me, that abating Oriana's pretensions to marriage, you loved her passionately; then how can you I wander at this rate?

Mir. I longed for a partridge t'other day off the king's plate; but d'ye think, because I could not have it, I must eat nothing?

Enter ORIANA in Boy's clothes, with a letter.
Ori. Is your name Mirabel, Sir?
Mir. Yes, Sir.

Ori. A letter from your uncle in Picardy.
[Gives the letter.

testant gentleman, who, flying for his religion,
Mir. [Reads.] The bearer is the son of a Pro-
left me the charge of this youth-A pretty
boy-He's fond of some handsome service, that
may afford him opportunity of improvement:
your cure of him will oblige, Yours.
Hast a mind to travel, child?

Ori. 'Tis my desire, Sir; I should be pleased to serve a traveller in any capacity.

Mir. A hopeful inclination; you shall along with me into Italy as my page.

Dur. I don't think it safe; the rogue's
[Noise without.] too handsome- -The play's
done, and some of the ladies come this way.
Enter LAMORCE, with her train borne up
by a PAGE.

Mir. Duretete, the very dear identical, she.
Dur. And what then?

Mir. Why 'tis she.

Dur. And what then, Sir?

Mir. Then! Why-Lookye, sirrah, the
first piece of service I put upon you, is to fol-
low that lady's coach and bring me word
where she lives.
[TO ORIANA,

afraid of losing myself.
Ori. I don't know the town, Sir, and am
Mir. Pshaw!

Lam. Page, what's become of all my

people?

Page. I can't tell, Madam; I can see no sign of your ladyship's coach.

Lam. That fellow is got into his old pranks,

and fallen drunk somewhere; none of the vants home, and do you stay; 'tis a foolish footmen there? country boy, that knows nothing but inno

Page. Not one, Madam.

Lam. These servants are the plague of our lives; what shall I do?

Mir. By all my hopes, fortune pimps for me; now, Duretete, for a piece of gallantry. Dur. Why, you won't sure?

Mir. Won't, brute! Let not your servants' neglect, Madam, put your ladyship to any inconvenience, for you can't be disappointed of an equipage whilst mine waits below; and would you honour the master so far, he would be proud to pay his attendance.

Dur. Ay, to be sure. [Aside. Lam. Sir, I won't presume to be troublesome, for my habitation is a great way off. Dur. Very true, Madam, and he's a little engaged; besides, Madam, a hackney-coach will do as well, Madam.

Mir. Rude beast, be quiet! [To DURETETE.] The further from home, Madam, the more occasion you have for a guard-pray, Madam

Lum. Lard, Sir- [She declines his entreaties. Dur. Ah! the devil's in his impudence; now he wheedles, she smiles; he flatters, she simpers; he swears, she believes; he's a rogue, and she's a w in a moment. [Aside. Mir. Without there! my coach; Duretete, wish me joy. [Hands the Lady out. Dur. Wish you safe home! Here, you little Picard, go follow your master, and he'll lead

you-

Ori. Whither, Sir?

Dur. To the academy, child: 'tis the fashion, with men of quality, to teach their pages their exercise-go.

Ori. Won't you go with him too, Sir? that woman may do him some harm, I don't like her.

Dur. Why, how now, Mr. Page, do you start up to give laws of a sudden? do you pretend to rise at court, and disapprove the pleasure of your betters? Lookye, sirrah, if ever you would rise by a great man, be sure to be with him in his little actions: and, as a step to your advancement, follow your master immediately, and make it your hope that he goes to a bagnio.

Öri. Heavens forbid!

[Exit. Dur. Now would I sooner take a cart in company of the hangman, than a coach with that woman: what a strange antipathy have I taken against these creatures; a woman to me is aversion upon aversion, a cheese, a cat, a breast of mutton, the squalling of children, the grinding of knives, and the snuff of a [Exeunt.

candle.

de

SCENE II-A Handsome Apartment. Enter MIRABEL and LAMORCE. Lam. To convince me, that your service was something more than good breeding, please to lay out an hour of your company upon my sire, as you have already upon my necessity. Mir. Your desire, Madam, has only prevented my request: my hours! make 'em yours, Madam, eleven, twelve, one, two, three, and all that belong to those happy minutes.

Lam. But I must trouble you, Sir, to dismiss your retinue, because an equipage at my door, at this time of night, will not be consistant with my reputation.

Mir. By all means, Madam, all but one little boy-Here, page, order my coach and ser

cence.

Lam. Innocence, Sir? I should be sorry if you made any sinister constructions of my freedom.

Mir. O Madam, I must not pretend to remark upon any body's freedom, having so entirely forfeited my own.

Lam. Well, Sir, 'twere convenient towards our easy correspondence, that we entered into a free confidence of each other, by mutual declaration of what we are, and what we think of one another.-Now, Sir, what are you?

Mir. In three words, Madam-I am a gentleman, I have five hundred pounds in my pocket, and a clean shirt on.

Madam, the in

Lam. And your name isMir. Mustapha.-Now, ventory of your fortunes. Lam. My name is Lamorce; my birth noble; I was married young, to a proud, rude, sullen, impetuous fellow; the husband spoiled the gentleman; crying ruined my face, till at last I took heart, leaped out of a window, got away to my friends, sued my tyrant, and recovered my fortune--I lived from fifteen to twenty to please a husband; from twenty to forty I'm resolved to please myself, and from thence upwards I'll humour the world.

Mir. Ha, ha, ha! I rejoice in your good fortune with all my heart.

Lam. O, now I think on't, Mr. Mustapha, you have got the finest ring there, I could scarcely believe it right; pray let me see it.

Mir. Hum! Yes, Madam, 'tis, 'tis rightbut, but, but, but, but it was given me by my mother, an old family ring, Madam, an oldfashioned family ring.

Lam. Ay, Sir-If you can entertain yourself for a moment, I'll wait on you immediately.

[Exit.

Mir. Certainly the stars were in a strange intriguing humour when I was born-Ay, this night should I have had a bride in my arms, and that I should like well enough: but what should I have to-morrow night? The same. And what next night? The same. And what next night? The very same. Soup for breakfast, soup for dinner, soup for supper, and soup for breakfast again-But here's variety. [Runs towards the door.

Enter four BRAVOES with LAMORCE, MIRABEL starts back.

She comes, she comes-Hum, hum-Bitch— Murdered, murdered, to be sure! The cursed strumpet! To make me send away my servants-Nobody near me! These cut-throats always make sure work. What shall I do? I have but one way. [Aside.] Are these gentlemen your relations, Madam?

Lam. Yes, Sir.

Mir. Gentlemen, your most humble servant; Sir, your most faithful; yours, Sir, with all my heart; your most obedient-come, gentlemen. [Salutes all round.] Please to sit no ceremony, next the lady, pray, Sir. [All sit.

Lam. Well, Sir, and how d'ye like my friends?

Mir. O, Madam, the most finished gentlemen! I was never more happy in good company in my life; I suppose, Sir, you have travelled?

[blocks in formation]

1 Bra. In a western barge, Sir. Mir. Ha, ha, ha! very pretty; facetious, pretty, gentleman!

Lam. Ha, ha, ha! Sir, you have got the prettiest ring upon your finger there

Mir. Ah! Madam, 'tis at your service, with all my heart. [Offering the ring. Lam. By no means, Sir, a family ring! [Takes it. Mir. No matter, Madam. Seven hundred pounds, by this light. [Aside. 2 Bra. Pray, Sir, what's o'clock? Mir. Hum! Sir, I have left my watch at home.

2 Bra. I thought I saw the string of it just

now

Mir. Od's my life, Sir, I beg your pardon; here it is but it don't go. [Puts it up. Lam. O dear, Sir, an English watch; Tompion's, I presume.

Mir. D'ye like it, Madam?-no ceremony'tis at your service, with all my heart and soul -Tompion's! Hang ye.

[Aside. 1 Bra. But, Sir, above all things, I admire the fashion and make of your sword-hilt. Mir. I'm mighty glad you like it, Sir. 1 Bru. Will you part with it, Sir? Mir. I won't sell it.

1 Bra. Not sell it, Sir?

Mir. No, gentlemen-but I'll bestow it with all my heart. [Offers it. 1 Bra. O, Sir, we rob you. Mir. That you do, I'll be sworn. [Aside.] I have another at home, pray, Sir-Gentlemen, you're too modest; have I any thing else that you fancy? Sir, will you do me a favour? [To the first BRAVO.] am extremely in love with that wig which you wear; will you do me the favour to change with me?

1 Bra. Lookye, Sir, this is a family wig, and I would not part with it; but if you like itMir. Sir, your most humble servant. [They change wigs. 1 Bra. Madam, your most humble slave. [Goes up foppishly to the Lady, and salutes her.

2 Bra. The fellow's very liberal; shall we murder him? [Apart. 1 Bra. No, no! I want but a handsome pretence to quarrel with him, for you know we must act like gentlemen. Here, some wine[Wine brought.] Sir, your good health.

[Pulls MIRABEL by the nose. Mir. Oh! Sir, your most humble servant; a pleasant frolic enough, to drink a man's health, and pull him by the nose: ha, ha, ha! the pleasantest pretty-humoured gentleman. Lam. Help the gentleman to a glass. [MIR. drinks. 1 Bra. How d'ye like the wine, Sir? Mir. Very good o' the kind, Sir: but I tell ye what, I find we're all inclined to be frolicsome, and 'egad, for my own part, I was never more disposed to be merry; let's make a night on't, ha!-This wine is pretty, but I have such Burgundy at home.-Lookye, gentlemen, let me send for half a dozen flasks of my Burgundy; I defy France to match it;-Twill make us all life, all air, pray, gentleman. 2 Bra. Eh! Shall us have his Burgundy? [Apart. 1 Bra. Yes, faith, we'll have all we can; here call up the gentleman's servant. [Apart.] -What think you, Lamorce?

Lam. Yes, yes. [Apart.] Your servant is a foolish country boy, Sir; he understands nothing but innocence.

[blocks in formation]

[Exit.

1 Bra. Sir, you were pleased to like my wig, have you any fancy for my coat?-Lookye, Sir, it has served a great many honest gentlemen very faithfully.

Mir. The insolence of these dogs is beyond their cruelty. [Aside.

Lam. You're melancholy, Sir.

Mir. Only concerned, Madam, that I should have no servant here but this little boyhe'll make some confounded blunder, I'll lay my life on't; I would not be disappointed of my wine for the universe.

Lam. He'll do well enough, Sir; but supper's ready; will you please to eat a bit, Sir? Mir. O, Madam, I never had a better stomach in my life.

Lam. Come then-we have nothing but a plate of soup.

Mir. Ah! The marriage soup I could dispense with now.

[Aside; exit, handing the Lay. 2 Bra. Shall we despatch him?

3 Bra. To be sure. I think he knows me. 1 Bra. Ay, ay, dead men tell no tales; I ha'n't the confidence to look a man in the face after I have done him an injury, therefore we'll murder him. [Exeunt.

SCENE III-OLD MIRABEL'S House.

Enter DURFTETE.

Dur. My friend has forsaken me, I have abandoned my mistress, my time lies heavy upon my hands, and my money burns in my pocket.-But now I think on't, my myrmidons are upon duty to-night; I'll fairly stroll down to the guard, and nod away the night with my honest lieutenant over a flask of wine, a good story, and a pipe of tobacco. [Going off. Enter BISARRE.

Bis. Who comes there? Stand! Dur. Hey dey, now she's turned dragoon. Bis. Lookye, Sir, I'm told you intend to travel again.—I design to wait on you as far as Italy.

Dur. Then I'll travel into Wales.
Bis. Wales! What country's that?

Dur. The land of mountains, child, where you're never out of the way, 'cause there's no such thing as a high road.

Bis. Rather always in a high road, 'cause you travel all upon hills;-but be't as it will, I'll jog along with you.

Dur. But we intend to sail to the East Indies.

« ÀÌÀü°è¼Ó »