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Faulk. 'Twas but your fancy, Julia. I was Jul. Oh, you torture me to the heart! I can. rejoiced to see you-to see you in such health: not bear it! Sure I had no cause for coldness?
Faulk. I do not mean to distress you: If I Jul. Nay, then, I see you have taken something loved you less, I should never give you any ill: You must not conceal from me what it is. uneasy moment. I would not boast, yet let
Faulk. Well, then, shall I own to you, that me say, that I have neither age, person, or my joy at hearing of your health and arrival character, to found dislike on; my fortune here, by your neighbour Acres, was somewhat such, as few ladies could be charged with indamped, by his dwelling much on the high discretion in the match. 0, Julia! when love spirits you had enjoyed in Devonshire; on your receives such countenance from prudence, mirth-your singing-dancing—and I know nice minds will be suspicious of its birth. not what! For such is my temper, Julia, that I Jul. I know not whither your insinuations should regard every mirthful moment, in your would tend; but, as they seem pressing to inabsence, as a treason to constancy. The mu- sult me, I will spare you the regret of having tual tear, that steals down the cheek of part. done so—I have given you no cause for this ! ing lovers, is a compact, that no smile shall
[Exit in tears. live there till they meet again.
Faulk. In tears ? stay, Julia--stay but for a Jul. Must I never cease to tax my Faulkland moment–The door is fastened !Julia, my with this teazing, minute caprice? Can the soul ! but for one moment!-I hear her sobbing! idle reports of a silly boor weigh, in your 'Sdeath! what a brute am I to use her thus! breast, against my tried affection ?
-Yet stay-Ay, she is coming now: how little Faulk. They have no weight with me, Julia : resolution there is in woman! how a few No, no, I am happy, if you have been so-yet soft words can turn them !-No, zounds ! she's only say that you did not sing with mirth,--say not coming, nor don't intend it, I suppose ! that you thought of Faulkland in the dance. This is not steadiness, but obstinacy! "Yet I
Jul. I never can be happy in your absence. deserve it. What, after so long an absence, to If I wear a countenance of content, it is to quarrel with her tenderness ! 'twas barbarous show that my mind hoids no doubt of my and unmanly !--I should be ashamed to see Faulkland's truth. Believe me, Faulkland, 1 her now. I'll wait till her just resentment is mean not to upbraid you when I say, that I abated, and when I distress her so again, may have often dressed sorrow in smiles, lest my I lose her for ever!
[Exit. friends should guess whose unkindness had caused my tears.
SCENE III.-Mrs. MALAPROP's Lodgings. Faulk. You were ever all goodness to me! Mrs. MALAPROP, with a letter in her hand, and Oh, I am a brute, when I but admit a doubt
CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE. of your true constancy!
Jul. If ever, without such cause from you as Mrs. M. Your being Sir Anthony's son, capI will not suppose possible, you find my affec- tain, would itself be a sufficient accommodations veering but a point, may I become a pro- tion; but, from the ingenuity of your appearverbial scotf for levity and base ingratitude ! ance, I am convinced you deserve the charac
Faulk. Ah, Julia ! that last word is grating to ter here given of you. me! I would I had no title to your gratitude ! Capt. Å. Permit me to say, Madam, that, as Search your heart, Julia: perhaps what you I never yet have had the pleasure of seeing have mistaken for love, is but the warm esfu- Miss Languish, my principal inducement in sion of a too thankful heart!
this affair, at present, is the honour of being Jul. For what quality must I love you? allied to Mrs. Malaprop, of whose intellectual Faulk. For no quality: To regard me for any accomplishments, elegant manners, and unquality of mind or understanding were only affected learning, no tongue is silent. to esteem me! And for person—I have often Mrs. M. Sir, you do me infinite honour! I wished myself deformed, to be convinced that beg, captain, you'll be seated. [Sits.] Ah! I owed no obligation there for any part of your few gentlemen, now-a-days, know how to affection.
value the ineffectul qualities in a woman! few Jul. Where nature has bestowed a show of think how a little knowledge becomes a gennice attention in the features of a man, he tlewoman! Men have no sense now but for should laugh at it as misplaced. I have seen the worthless flower of beauty! men, who in this vain article, perhaps, might Capt. A. It is but too true, indeed, Ma’am; rank above you; but my heart has never asked yet I fear our ladies should share the blame; my eyes if it were so or not.
they think our admiration of beauty so great, Faulk. Now, this is not well from you, Julia : that knowledge, in them, would be superI despise person in a man, yet, if you loved me fluous. Thus, like
garden trees, they seldom as I wish, though I were an Æthiop, you'd show fruit, till time has robbed them of the think none so fair.
more specious blossom : few, like Mrs. MalaJul. I see you are determined to be unkind prop, and the orange-tree, are rich in both at -The contract, which my poor father bound once! us in, gives you more than a lover's privilege. Mrs. M. Sir, you overpower me with good
Faulk. Again, Julia, you raise ideas that breeding. He is the very pine-apple of politefeed and justify my doubts. How shall I be ness! You are not ignorant, captain, that this sure, had you remained unbound in thought giddy girl has, somehow, contrived to fix her or promise, that I should still have been the affections on a beggarly, strolling, eves-dropobject of your persevering love.
ping ensign, whom none of us have seen, and Jul. Then try me now, Let us be free as nobody knows any thing of. strangers, as to what is past: My heart will Capt. A. Oh, I have heard the silly affair not feel more liberty.
before. I'm not at all prejudiced against her Fuulk. There, now! so hasty, Julia ! so anx- on that account, but it must be very distressjous to be free! If your love for me were ing, indeed, Ma'am. tixed and ardent, you would not loose your Mrs. M. 'Oh, it gives me the hydrostatics to bold, even though I wished it!
such a degree !—I thought she had persisted
from corresponding with him; but behold, Capt. A. But pray, could I not see the lady this very day, I have interceded another let for a few minutes now ?-I should like to try ter from the fellow-I believe I have it in my her temper a little. pocket.
Mrs. M. Why, I don't know-I doubt she Capt. A. Oh, the devil! my last note! is not prepared for a visit of this kind.—There
[Aside. is a decorum in these matters. Mrs. M. Ay, here it is.
Capt. A. O Lord, she wont mind me!-only Capt. A. Ay, my note, indeed! O, the little tell her, Beverleytraitress, Lucy!
(Aside. Mrs. M. Sir? Mrs. M. There, perhaps you may know the Capt. A. Gently, good tongue! [Aside, writing.
[Gives him the letter, Mrs. M. What did you say of Beverley?. Cupt. A. I think I have seen the hand be- Capt. A. Oh, I was going to propose that fore--yes, I certainly must have seen this hand you should tell her, by way of jest, that it was before,
Beverley who was below-she'd come down Mrs. M. Nay, but read it, captain.
fast enough then-ha, ha, ha! Capt. A., [Reads.] My soul's idol, my adored Mrs. M. "Twould be a trick she well deLydia!-Very tender, indeed !
serves—besides, you know the fellow tells Mrs. M. Tender! ay, and profane too, o'ny her he'll get my consent to see her-ha, ha! conscience!
Let him, if he can, 1 say again. Lydia, come Capt. A. I am excessively alarmed «t the in- down here! (Calling.) He'll make me a goteliigence you send me, the more so us my new ri- between in their interviews!-ha, ha, ha! ral
Come down, I say, Lydia !- I don't wonder at Mrs. M. That's you, Sir.
your laughing-ha, ha, ha! his impudence is Capt. A. Has universally the character of be- truly ridiculous. ing un accomplished gentleman, and a man of Capt. A. 'Tis very ridiculous, upon my soul, honour.-Well, that's handsome enough. Ma'am!-ha, ha, ha!
Mrs. M. Oh, the fellow has some design in Mrs. M. The little hussy wont hear.–Well, writing so.
I'll go and tell her at once how it is-she shall Capt. A. That he had, I'll answer for him, know that Captain Absolute is come to wait Ma'am.
on her.-And I'll make her behave as becomes Mrs. M. But go on, Sir-you'll see pre- a young woman. sently.
Capt. A. As you please, Ma'am. Capt. A. As for the old weather-beaten she- Mrs. M. For the present, captain, your serdragon, who guards you-Who can he mean by vant-Ah, you've not done laugbing yet, I see that?
-elude my vigilance ! yes, yes-Ha, ha, ha! Mrs. M. Me, Sir-me--he means me there
[Exit. -what do you think now ?-but go on a little Capt. A. Ha, ha, ha! one would think, now, further.
that I might throw off all disguise at once, Capt. A. Impudent scoundrel !--it shall go and seize my prize with security-but such hard but I will elude her vigilance ; as I am is Lydia's caprice, that, to undeceive, were told that the same ridiculous ranity, which makes probably to lose her. I'll see whether she her dress up her course features, and deck her knows me. dull chat with hard words which she don't under- (Walks aside, and seems engaged in looking stand
at the pictures. Mrs. M. There, Sir, an attack upon my language! what do you think of that ?-an
Enter LYDIA. aspersion upon my parts of speech! was ever such a brute ! Sure if I reprehend any thing Lyd. What a scene am I now to go through! in this world, it is the use of my oracular surely nothing can be more dreadful, thàn to tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs. be obliged to listen to the loathsome addresses
Capt. A. He deserves to be hanged and of a stranger to one's heart.- I have heard of quartered ! let me seemsame ridiculous vani- girls persecuted, as I am, who have appealed,
in behalf of their favoured lover, to the generMrs. M. You need not read it again, Sir! osity of his rival: suppose I were to try it
Capt. A. I beg pardon, Ma'am-does also lay there stands the hated rival--an officer too!-her open to the grossest deceptions from flattery but, oh, how unlike my Beverley !—I wonder and pretended admiration-an impudent cox he don't begin--truly, he seems a very negli. comb--so that I have a scheme to see you short- gent wooer! quite at his ease, upon my word! ly, with the old harridan's consent, and even to -I'll speak first-Mr. Absolute ! make her a go-between in our interviews.-Was Capt. A. Ma'am.
[Turns round. ever such assurance !
Lyd. O heavens! Beverley! Mrs. M. Did you ever hear any thing like Capt. A. Hush !-hush, my life !-softly! be it?-He'll elude my vigilance, will he ?-yes, not surprised ! yes !-ba, ha! he's very likely to enter these Lyd. I am so astonished ! and so terrified ! doors !-we'll try who can plot best! and so overjoyed for heaven's sake, how
Capt. A. So we will, Ma'am-so we will.- came you here? Ha, ha, ha! a conceited pappy! ha, ha, ha! Capt. A. Briefly-I have deceived your aunt -Well, but Mrs. Malaprop, as the girl seems - I was informed that my new rival was to so infatuated by this fellow, suppose you were visit here this evening, and, contriving to have to wink at her corresponding with him for a him kept away, have passed myself on her for little time-let her even plot an elopement Captain Absolute. with him then do you connive at her escape Lyd. Oh, charming - And she really takes -while I, just in the nick, will have the fel- you for young Absolute ? low laid by the heels, and fairly contrive to Capt. A. Oh, she's convinced of it. carry her off in his stead.
Lyd. Ha, ha, ha! I can't forbear laughing, Mrs. M. I am delighted with the scheme; to think how her sagacity is over-reached, never was any thing better perpetrated.
Capt. A. But we tride with our precious
moments such another opportunity may not | amiably patient: but come with me, Miss; let occur ; then let me now conjure my kind, my j us see you again soon, captain ; 'remember condescending angel, to fix the time when I what we have fixed. may rescue her fronı undeserving persecution, Capt. A. I shall, Ma'am. and, with a licensed warmth, plead for re- Mrs. M. Come, take a graceful leave of the ward.
gentleman. Lyd. Will you then, Beverley, consent to Lyd. May every blessing wait on my Beverforfeit that portion of my paltry wealth ?—that ley, my loved Beyburden on the wings of love?
Mrs. M. Hussy! Come along-come along. Capt. A. Oh, come to me-rich only thus ; [Exeunt severally; CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE kissin loveliness ! Bring no portion to me but thy ing his hand to LYDIA, Mrs. Malalove; 'twill be generous in you, Lydia; for well
PROP stops her speaking. you know, it is the only dower your poor Beverley can repay.
SCENE IV.-ACRES' Lodgings. Lyd. How persuasive are his words ! how Acres and David discovered; Acres as just charming will poverty be with him!
dressed. Capt. A. By heavens, I would fling all goods of fortune from me with a prodigal Acres. Indeed, David,-dress does make a hand, to enjoy the scene where I might clasp difference, David. my Lydia to my bosom, and say, the world David. "Tis all in all, I think-difference! affords no smile to me but here.
why, an' you were to go now to Clod Hall, I
[Embracing her. am certain the old lady wouldn't know you : Lyd. Now could I fly with him to the Anti- Master Butler wouldn't believe his own eyes, podes--but my persecution is not yet come to and Mrs. Pickle would cry, “Lard presarve a crisis.
me !" our dairy maid would come giggling to
the door; and I warrant Dolly Tester, your Enter Mrs. MALAPROP, listening. honour's favourite, would blush like my waistMrs. M. I am impatient to know how the coat: Oons! I'll 'hold a gallon, there an't a little hussy deports herself. (Aside. dog in the house but would bark, and I
quesCupt. A. So pensive, Lydia! is then your tion whether Phillis would wag a hair of her warmth abated ?
tail, Mrs. M. Warmth abated ?So! she has Acres. Ay, David, there's nothing like pol. been in a passion, I suppose.
ishing: Lyd. No-nor ever can, while I have life. David. So I says of your honour's boots ;
Mrs. M. An ill-tempered little devil! She'll but the boy never heeds me! be in a passion all her life, will she ?
Acres. But, David, has Mr. De la Grace Lyd. Let her choice be Captain Absolute, been here? I must rub up my balancing, and but Beverley is mine.
chasing, and boring. Mrs. M. I am astonished at her assurance !
David. I'll call again, Sir. -to his face; this to his face!
Acres. Do, and see if there are any letters Capt. A. Thus, then, let me enforce my suit. for me at the Post-office.
David. I will. By the mass, I can't help Mrs. M. Ay-poor young man! down on his looking at your head! if I hadn't been at the knees, entreating for pity! I can contain no cooking, I wish I may die if I should have longer. Why, thou vixen! I have overheard known the dish again myself? you.
[Exit. ACRES comes forward, practising a Capt. A. Oh, confound her vigilance !
[Aside. Acres. Sink, slide, coupée. Confound the Mrs. M. Captain Absolute; I know not first inventors of cotillions, say I! they are as how to apologise for her shocking rudeness. bad as algebra, to us country gentlemen; I
Capt. A. So; all's safe, I ind. [Aside.] I can walk a minuet easy enough, when 1 am have hopes, Madam, that time will bring the forced! and I have been accounted a good young lady
stick in a country dance. Odds jigs and Mrs. M. O, there's nothing to be hoped for tabors! I never valued your cross-over two from her! she's as headstrong as an allegory couple-figure in-right and left-and I'd foot on the banks of Nile.
it with e'er a captain in the country ! but these Lyd. Nay, Madam, what do you charge me outlandish heathen allemandes and cotillions with now?
are quite beyond me! I shall never prosper Mrs. M. Why, thou unblushing rebel, didn't at them, that's sure, mine are true born Eng, you tell this gentleman to his face, that you lish legs; they don't understand their cursed loved another better? didn't you say you never French lingo! their pas this, and pas that, and would be his ?
pas t'other? Lyd. No, Madam, I did not. Mrs. M.' Good heavens, what assurance !
Enter DAVID. Lydia, Lydia, you ought to know that lying David. Here is Sir Lucius ('Trigger to wait don't become a young woman! Didn't you on you, Sir, boast that Beverley, that stroller, Beverley,
Acres. Show him in.
[Exit David, possessed your heart? Tell me that, I say, Lyd. "Tis true, Ma'am; and none but Be
Enter Six Lucius O'TKIGGER. verley
Sir L. Mr. Acres, I am delighted to emMrs. M. Hold! hold, assurance! you shall brace you. not be so rude.
Acres. My dear Sir Lucius, I kiss your Capt. A. Nay, pray, Mrs. Malaprop, don't hands. stop the young
lady's speech: she's very wel. Sir L. Pray, my friend, what has brought come to talk thus, it does not hurt me in the you so suddenly to Bath? least, I assure you.
Acres. 'Faith, I have followed Cupid's jackMrs. M. You are too good, captain-too a-lantern, and find myself in a quagmire at
last! In short, I have been very ill-used, Sir Acres. I must be in a passion, Sir Lucius; I Lucius. I don't choose to mention names, but must be in a rage. Dear Sir Lucius, let me look on me as a very ill-used gentleman. be in a rage, if you love me.-Come, here's
Sir L. Pray, what is the case? I ask no pen and paper. [Sits down to write.) I would names.
the ink were red! Indite, I say, indíte! How Acres. Mark me, Sir Lucius ; I fall as deep shall I begin? Odd's bullets and blades! I'll as need be in love with a young lady; her write a good bold hand, however. friends take my part. I follow her to Bath, Sir L. Pray, compose yourself. send word of my arrival ; and receive answer, Acres. Come-now, shall I begin with an that the lady is to be otherwise disposed of. oath? Do, Sir Lucius, let me begin with a This, Sir Lucius, I call being ill-used.
Sir L. Very ill, upon my conscience ! Pray, Sir L. Pho, pho! do the thing decently, and can you divine the cause of it?
like a Christian. Begin now-Sir. Acres. Why, there's the matter : she has Acres. That's too civil by half. another lover, one Beverley, who, I am told, is Sir L. To prevent the confusion that might now in Bath. Odds slanders and lies ! 'he arisemust be at the bottom of it.
Acres. Well, Sir L. A rival in the case, is there? and you Sir L. From our both addressing the same think he has supplanted you unfairly?
Acres. Unfairly! to be sure he has. He Acres. Ay—there's the reason-same ladynever could have done it fairly.
Well. Sir L. Then sure you know what is to be Sir L. I shall expect the favour of your comdone!
pany, Acres. Not I, upon my soul !
Acres. Zounds! I'm not asking him to dinSir L. We wear no swords here, but you ner? understand me?
Sir L. Pray, be easy. Acres. What! fight him ?
Acres. Well, then, honour of your company, Sir L. Ay, to be sure: what can I mean Sir L. To settle our pretensions, else?
Acres. Well. Acres. But he has given me no provocation. Sir L. Let me see; ay, King's-Mead-fields
Sir L. Now, I think he has given you the will do; in King's-Mead-fields. greatest provocation in the world. Can a man Acres. So, that's done. Well, I'll fold it up commit
heinous offence against presently; my own crest, a hand and dagger, another, than to fall in love with the same shall be the seal. woman? Oh, by my soul, it is the most unpar- Sir L. You see now, this little explanation donable breach of friendship.
will put a stop at once to all confusion or Acres. Breach of friendship? Ay, ay; but I misunderstanding that might arise between have no acquaintance with this man. “I never you. saw him in my life.
Acres. Ay, we fight to prevent any misunSir L. That's no argument at all-he has derstanding. the less right then to take such a liberty. Sir L. Now, I'll leave you to fix your own
Acres. Gad, that's true-I grow full of an- time. Take my advice, and you'll decide it ger, Sir Lucius! I fire apace; odds hilts and this evening, if you can; then, let the worst blades! I find a man may have a deal of come of it, 'twill be off your mind to-morrow, valour in him, and not know it! But couldn't Acres. Very true. I contrive to have a little right on my side? Sir L. So I shall see nothing more of you,
Sir L. What the devil signifies right, when unless it be by letter, till the evening. I your honour is concerned ? do you think would do myself the honour to carry your Achilles, or my little Alexander the Great, message; but, to tell you a secret, I believe I ever inquired where the right lay? No, by my shall have just such another affair on my own soul, they drew their broad swords, and left hands. There is a gay captaip here who put the lazy sons of peace to settle the justice of a jest on me lately at the expense of my counit.
try, and I only want to fall in with the gentleAcres. Your words are a grenadier's march man, to call him out. to my heart! I believe courage must be catch- Acres. By my valour, I should like to see ing!'1 certainly do feel a kind of valour aris- you fight first ! Odds life, I should like to see ing as it were—a kind of courage, as I may you kill him, if it was only to get a little lessay--odds flints, pans, and triggers!' I'll chal son! lenge him directly..
Sir L. I shall be very proud of instructing Sir L. Ah, my little friend ! if I had Blun- you. Well, for the present-but remember derbuss Hall here-- I could show you a range now, when you meet your antagonist, do of ancestry, in the O'Trigger line, that would every thing in a mild and agreeable manner. furnish the New Room; every one of whom Let your courage be as keen, but at the same had killed his man! For though the mansion time as polished, as your sword. [Exeunt. house and dirty acres have slipped through my fingers, I thank Heaven, our honour and
ACT IV. the family
pictures are as fresh as ever. Acres. Oh, Sir Lucius, I have had ances
SCENE I.-ACRES' Lodgings. tors too! every man of them colonel or captain
ACRES and David. in the militia . odd's balls and barrels ! say no more-I'm braced for it. The thunder of your David. Then, by the mass, Sir, I would do words has soured the milk of human kindness no such thing! ne'er a Sir Lucius O'Trigger in my breast! Zounds ! as the man in the play in the kingdom should make me fight, when I says, “ I could do such deeds."
wa'n't so minded. Oons! what will the old Sir L. Come, come, there must be no pas- lady say, when she hears o't? sion at all in the case ; these things should Acres. But my honour, David, my honour! always be done civilly.
I must be very careful of my honour.
David. Ay, by the mass ! and I would be to fight; so get along, you coward, while I'm very careful of it, and I think in return my in the mind. honour couldn't do less than to be very care- David. Good bye, master." [Whimpering. ful of me.
Acres. Get along, you cowardly, dastardly, Acres. Odds blades ! David, no gentleman croaking raven !
(Éxit David. will ever risk the loss of his honour!
Enter CAPTAIN A BSOLUTE. David. I say, then, it would be but civil in honour never to risk the loss of a gentleman.
Capt. A. What's the matter, Bob? Lookye, master, this honour seems to me to be a narvellous false friend; ay, truly, a very I hadn't the valour of St. George, and the
Acres. A vile, sbeep-hearted blockhead! If courtier-like servant. Put the case, I was a
dragon to bootgentleman (which, thank God, no one can say
Capt. A. But what did you want with me, of me;) well-my honour makes me quarrel Bob? with another gentleman of my acquaintance.
[Gives him the challenge.
Capt. A. To Ensign Beverley. So-what's who gets the profit of it? why, my honour. But put the case that he kills me! by the going on now? | Aside.) Well, what's this ?
Acres. A challenge! mass! I go to the worms, and my honour
Capt. A. Indeed! why, you wont fight him, whips over to my enemy.
will you, Bob? Acres. No, David, in that case! Odds crowns and laurels ! your honour follows you has wrought me to it. He has left me full of
Acres.' 'Egad, but I will, Jack. Sir Lucius to the grave!
David. Now, that's just the place where I rage, and I'll fight this evening, that so much could make a shift to do without it.
good passion mayn't be wasted.
Capt. A. But what have I to do with this? Acres. Zounds ! David, you are a coward ! It doesn't become iny valour to listen to you. of this fellow, I want you to find him out for
Acres. Why, as I think you know something -What, shall I disgrace my ancestors ? think of that, David; think what it would be to dis- me, and give him this mortal defiance.
Capt. A. Well, give it me, and trust me he grace my ancestors! David. Under favour, the surest way of not
gets it. disgracing them is to keep as long as you can Jack; but it is giving you a great deal of
Acres. Thank you, my dear friend, my dear out of their company, Lookye now, master, trouble. to go to them in such haste-with an ounce of lead in your brains—I should think it might mention it. No trouble in the world, I assure
Capt. A. Not in the least-I beg you wont as well be let alone. Our ancestors are very good kind of folks; but they are the last peo
you. ple I should choose to have a visiting acquaint- have a friend! you couldn't be my second,
Acres. You are very kind. What it is to ance with, Acres. But, David, now, you don't think
could you, Jack ? there is such very, very, very great danger, would not be quite so proper.
Capt. A. Why no, Bob-not in this affair-it hey? Odds life! people often fight without
Acres. Well, then, I must get my friend Sir any mischief done! David. By the mass, I think 'tis ten to one
Lucius. I shall have your good wishes, howagainst you. Oons! here to meet some lion
ever, Jack ? headed fellow, I warrant, with his damned
Capt. A. Whenever he meets you, believe double-barrelled swords and cut-and-thrust pistols ! Lord bless us ! it makes me trem'cle
Enter SERVANT. to think o't; those be such desperate bloodyminded weapons! well, I never could abide Serv. Sir Anthony Absolute is below, inthem; from a child I never could fancy them! quiring for the captain. I suppose there an't been so merciless a beast Capt. A. I'll come instantly. Well, my little in the world as your loaded pistol !
hero, success attend you.
(Going. Acres. Zounds! I wont be afraid ; odds fire Acres. Stay, stay Jack. If Beverley should and fury! you sha'n't make me afraid. Here ask you what kind of a man your friend Acres is the challenge, and I have sent for my dear is, do tell him I am a devil of a fellow, will friend, Jack Absolute, to carry it for me.
David. Ay, i'the name of mischief, let him Capt. A. To be sure, I shall. I'll say you be the messenger. For my part, I wouldn't are a determined dog; hey, Bob? lend a hand to it for the best horse in your Acres. Ay, do, do; and if that frightens stable. By the mass ! it don't look like ano- him, 'egad, perhaps he mayn't come. So tell ther letter! it is, as I may say, a designing bim I generally kill a man'a week; will yon, and malicious-looking letter! and I war- Jack ? rant smells of gunpowder, like a soldier's Capt. A. I will, I will; I'll say you are pouch! Oons! I wouldn't swear it mayn't go called, in the country, “ Fighting Bob.” off!
Acres. Right, right; 'tis all to prevent misAcres. Out, you poltroon! you ha'n't the chief; for i don't want to take his life, if I valour of a grasshopper.
clear my honour. David. Well, I say no more: 'twill be sad Capt. A. No! that's very kind of you. news, to be sure, at Clod Hall ! but I ha' done. Acres. Why, you don't wish me to kill him, How Phillis will howl when she hears of it! do you, Jack ? ay, poor bitch, she little thinks what shoot- Capt. A. No, upon my soul, I do not. But ing her master's going after! and I warrant a devil of a fellow, hey?
(Going. old Crop, who has carried your honour, field Acres. True, true; but stay, stay Jack; you and road, these ten years, will curse the hour may add, that you never saw me in such a he was born!
(Whimpering: rage before; a most devouring rage. Acres. It wont do, David, I am determined Capt. A. Í will, I will.