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Acres. Remember, Jack-a determined dog! |Languish will assign what cause of dislike Cupt. A. Ay, ay," Fighting Bob.” she can have to my son ! why don't you begin, [Exeunt severally. Jack ? speak, you puppy, speak!
[Aside to him. SCENE II.-MRS. MALAPROP's Lodgings.
Mrs. M. It is impossible, Sir Anthony, she
can have any. She will not say she has. AnMrs. MALAPROP and LYDIA.
swer, hussy! why don't you answer?
[Aside to her. Mrs. M. Why, thou perverse 'one! tell me Sir A. Then, Madam, I trust that a childish what you can object to him? Isn't he a hand- and hasty predilection will be no bar to Jack's some man? tell me that. A genteel man? a happiness. Zounds! sirrah! why don't you pretty figure of a man?
[Aside to him. Lyd. She little thinks whom she is praising ! Capt. A. Hem, hem! Madam, hem! (AB$0. [Aside.) So is Beverley, Ma'am.
LUTE attempts to speak, then returns to Sir ANMrs. M. No caparisons, Miss, if you please. THONY.] 'Faith! Sir, I am so confounded! and Caparisons don't become a young woman. so-soconfused ! I told you I should be so, No! Captain Absolute is indeed a tine gentle Sir, I knew it. The-the-tremor of my pas.
sion entirely takes away my presence of mind. Lyd. Ay, the Captain Absolute you have Sir A. But it don't take away your voice,
(Aside. fool, does it? go up, and speak to her direct Mrs. M. Then he's so well bred; so full of ly ! [ABSOLUTE makes signs to MRS. MALAPROP alacrity and adulation! I protest, when I saw to leare them together.] What the devil are you him, I thought of what Hamlet says in the at? unlock your jaws, sirrah, orplay: “ Hesperian curls—the front of Job
(Aside to him. himself! an eye, like March, to threaten at Capt. A. (Draws near Lydia.] Now Heaven command! a station, like Harry Mercury, send she may be too sullen to look round ! I new”-something about kissing-on a hill must disguise my voice. [Aside. Speaks in a however, the similitude struck me directly: low, hoarse tone. I will not Miss Languish lend
Lyd. How enraged she'll be presently, when an ear to the mild accents of true love ? will she discovers her mistake.
Sir A. What the devil ails the fellow? why Enter SERVANT.
don't you speak out? not stand croaking like Sero. Sir Anthony and Captain Absolute are
a frog in a quinsey ! below, Ma'am.
Capt. A. The-the-excess of my awe, and Mrs. M. Show them up here. (Exit Ser-my--my-my modesty, quite choke me! VANT.) Now, Lydia, I insist on your behaving
Sir A. Ah! your modesty again! I'll tell as becomes a young woman. Show your good you what, Jack; if you don't speak out dibreeding, at least, though you have forgot rectly and glibly too, I shall be in such a rage! your duty.
Mrs. Malaprop, I wish the lady would favour Lyd. Madam, I have told you my resolution! us with something more than a side-front. I shall not only give him no encouragement,
(Mrs. MALAPROP seems to chide LYDIA. but I wont even speak to, or look at him.
Capt. A. So all will out, I see! (Goes up to (Flings herself into 'a chair, with her face LYDIA, speaks softly.) Be not surprised, my from the door.
Lydia, suppress all surprise at present.
Lyd. (Aside.] Heavens ! 'tis Beverley's Enter Sir Anthony and Captain ABSOLUTE. voice ! (Looks round by degrees, and then starts
up:] Is this possible ? 'my Beverley ! how can Sir A. Here we are, Mrs. Malaprop; come this be? my Beverley? to mitigare the frowns of unrelenting beauty, Capt. A. Ah! 'tis all over ! (Aside. and difficulty enough I had to bring this fel- Sir A. Beverley! the devil! Beverley! low: I don't know what's the matter, but if I what can the girl mean? This is my son, Jack had not held him by force, he'd have given me Absolute. the slip.
Mrs. M. For shame, hussy! for shame! Mrs. M. You have infinite trouble, Sir An- your head runs so on that fellow, that you thony, in the affair. I am ashamed for the have him always in your eyes! beg Captain cause! Lydia, Lydia, rise, I beseech you ! pay Absolute's pardon, directly. your respects.
[ Aside to her. Lyd. I see no Captain Absolute, but my Sir A.' I hope, Madam, that Miss Languish loved Beverley ! has reflected on the worth of this gentleman, Sir A. Zounds, the girl's mad! her brain's and the regard due to her aunt's choice, and turned by reading ! my alliance. (Aside to Mrs. M.) Now, Jack, Mrs. M. O' my conscience, I believe so ! speak to her.
[Aside to the Captain. what do you mean by Beverley, hussy? you Capt. d. What the devil shall I do? [Aside.] saw Captain Absolute before to-day; there You see, Sir, she wont even look at me whilst he is ; your husband that shall be. you are here. I knew she wouldn't! I told Lyd. With all my soul, Ma'am: when I reyou so. Let me entreat you, Sir, to leave us fuse my Beverleytogether!
[To his Father. Sir A. Oh, she's as mad as Bedlam ! or has Lyd. (Aside.) I wonder I ha'n't heard my this fellow been playing us a rogue's trick! aunt exclaim yet! sure she can't have looked Come here, sirrah, who the devil are you? at him! perhaps their regimentals are alike, Capt. A. 'Faith, Sir, I am not quite clear and she is something blind.
myself; but I'll endeavour to recollect. Sir A. I say, Sir, I wont stir a foot yet. Sir A. Are you my son or not? answer for
Mrs. M. I am sorry to say, Sir Anthony, your mother, you dog, if you wont for me. that my affluence over my niece is very small. Capt. A. Ye powers of impudence, befriend Turn round, Lydia, I blush for you! me ! [Aside.] Sir Anthony, most assuredly I
[Aside to her. am your wife's son; and that I sincerely beSir A. May I not flatter myself, that Miss lieve myself to be yours also, I hope my duty
has always shown. Mrs. Malaprop, I am your fortune, the lawyers shall make such your most respectful admirer, and shall be settlements asproud to add, affectionate nephew. I need Lyd. Lawyers! I hate lawyers ! not tell my Lydia, that she sees her faithful Capt. A. Nay, then we will not wait for Beverley,
who, knowing the singular gener; their lingering forms, but instantly procure the osity of her temper, assumed that name, and license, and a station, which has proved a test of the most Lyd. The license! I hate license! disinterested love, which he now hopes to Capt A. Oh, my love! be not so unkind enjoy in a more elevated character.
thus let me entreat
(Kneeling. Lyd. So ! there will be no elopement after Lyd. Pshaw! what signifies kneeling, when all !
you know I must have you? Sir A. Upon my soul, Jack, thou art a very Capt. A. (Rising.) Nay, Madam, there shall impudent fellow ! to do you justice, I think I be no constraint upon your inclinations, I pronever saw a piece of more consummate assur- mise you. If I have lost your heart, I resign ance !
the rest. 'Gad, I must try what a little spirit Capt. A. Oh, you flatter me, Sir, you com- will do.
[Aside. pliment: 'tis my modesty, you know, Sir; my Lyd. [Rising.) Then, Sir, let me tell you, modesty, that has stood in my way.
the interest you had there was acquired by a Sir A.'Well, I am glad you are not the dull, mean, unmanly imposition, and deserves the insensible varlet you pretended to be, how- punishment of fraud. What, you have been ever! I'm glad you have made a fool of your treating me like a child! humouring my rofather, you dog--I am--So this was your peni-mance and laughing, I suppose, at your tence, your duty, and obedience! I thought success! it was damned sudden-you never heard their Capt. A. You wrong me, Lydia, you wrong names before, not you! what, the Languishes me-only hearof Worcestershire, hey? if you could please Lyd. So, while I fondly imagined we were me in this affair, 'twas all you desired! ah! deceiving 'my relations, and flattered myself you dissembling villain! what! (Pointing to that I should outwit and incense them allLYDIA.] she squints, don't she! a little red behold my hopes are to be crushed at once, haired girl! hey? why, you hypocritical, young by my aunt's consent and approbation, and rascal, I wonder you a'u't ashamed to hold up am myself the only dupe at last! [Walking your head!
about in a heat.) but here, Sir, here is the picCapt. A. 'Tis with difficulty, Sir-I am con- ture ; Beverley's picture ! [Taking a miniature fused-very much confused, as you must per- from her bosom.) which I have worn, night and ceive.
day, in spite of threats and entreaties! there, Mrs. M. O lud ! Sir Anthony! a new light Sir, (Flings it to him.) and be assured, I throw breaks in upon me! hey! how! what! cap. the original from my heart as easily. tain, did you write the letters then? what! Capt. A. Nay, nay, Ma'am, we will not difam I to thank you for the elegant compilation fer as to that-here, [Taking out a picture.] of “ an old weather-beaten she-dragon "-hey? here is Miss Lydia Languish :-what a differO mercy! was it you that reflected on my ence! ay, there is the heaveoly assenting parts of speech ?
smile, that first gave soul and spirit to my Capt. A. Dear Sir! my modesty will be hopes ! those are the lips which sealed a vow, overpowered at last, if you don't assist me. as yet scarce dry in Cupid's calendar! and I shall certainly not be able to stand it. there the half-resentful blush, that would
Sir A. Come, come, Mrs. Malaprop, we have checked the ardour of my thanks. Well, must forget and forgive; odds life! matters all that's past; all over, indeed! There, have taken so clever a turn all of a sudden, Madam; in beauty, that copy is not equal to that I could find in my heart to be so good- you, but in my mind, its merit over the origihumoured! and so gallant! hey! Mrs. Mala- nal, in being still the same, is such-that-i'll prop! come, we must leave them together; put it into my pocket. (Puts it up again. Mrs. Malaprop, they long to fly into each Lyd. (Softening.] 'Tis your own doing, Sir other's arms, I warrant! Jack, isn't the -I, I, I suppose you are perfectly satisfied. cheek as I said, hey? and the eye, you rogue! Capt. A. Oh, most certainly ; sure now, this and the lip, hey? come, Mrs. Malaprop, we'll is much better than being in love! ha, ha, ha! not disturb their tenderness; theirs is the there's some spirit in this ! what signifies time of life for happiness! [Sings.. Youth's breaking some scores of solemn promises ; the season made for joy, hey! odd's life!. I'm all that's of no consequence, you know;: To in such spirits, I don't know what I could not be sure, people will say, that Miss didn't do! permit me, Ma'am. [Gives his hand to know her own mind; but never mind that: Mrs. MalaPROP. Sings.] Tol de rol-'gad ! or, perhaps, they may be ill-natured enough should like to have a little fooling myself—Tol to hint, that the gentleman grew tired of the de rol! de rol!
lady, and forsook her ; but don't let that fret [Exit singing, and handing Mrs. MALAPROP. you. LYDIA sits sullenly in the chair.
Lyd, There's no bearing this insolence ! Capt. A. So much thought bodes me no
(Bursts into tears. good [Aside.] So grave, Lydia ! Lyd. Sir!
Enter Mrs. MALAPROP and SIR ANTHONY. Capt. A. So ! 'egad! I thought as much! Mrs. M. (Entering.] Come, we must interthat damned monosyllable has froze me ! rupt your billing and cooing awhile, [Aside.) what, Lydia, now that we are as Lyd. This is worse than your treachery and happy in our friends' consent as in our mutual deceit, you base ingrate! [Sobbing.
Sir A. What the devil's the matter now! Lyd. Friends' consent, indeed! [Peevishly. Zounds! Mrs. Malaprop, this is the oddest
Capt. A. Come, come, we must lay aside billing and cooing I ever heard but what some of our romance ; a little wealth and the deuce is the meaning of it?—I'm quite ascomfort may be endured after all. And for tonished !
Capt. A. Ask the lady, Sir.
pened just then to be giving no opinion at Mrs. M. Oh, mercy! I'm quite analysed, for all. iny part! why, Lydia, what is the reason of Sir L. That's no reason; for give me leave this?
to tell you, a man may think an untruth as Lyd. Ask the gentleman, Ma'am.
well as speak one. Sir A. Zounds! I shall be in a frenzy! why, Capt. A. Very true, Sir; but if a man never Jack, you are not come out to be any one else, utters his thoughts, I should think they might are you?
stand a chance of escaping controversy. Mrs. M. Ay, Sir, there's no more trick, is Sir L. Then, Sir, you differ in opinion with there? you are nit, like Cerberus, three gen- me, which amounts to the same thing. tlemen at once, are you?
Capt. A. Harkye, Sir Lucius, what you can Capt. A. You'll not let me speak; I say the drive at, unless you mean to quarrel with me, lady can account for this much better than II cannot conceive !
Sir L. I humbly thank you, Sir, for the Lyd. Ma'am, you once commanded me never quickness of your apprehension ; [Bowing.) to think of Beverley again—there is the man; you have named the very thing 'I would be I now obey you : for, from this moment, I renounce him for ever.
(Exit LYDIA. Capt. A. Very well, Sir, I shall certainly Mrs. M. O mercy and miracles! what a turn not baulk your inclinations; but I should be here is! Why sure, captain, you haven't be- glad you would please to examine your mohaved disrespectfully to my niece?
tives. Sir A. Ha, ha, ha!ha, ha, ha! now I see Sir L. Pray, Sir, be easy, the quarrel is a it. Ha, ha, ha!'now I see it; you have been very pretty quarrel, as it stands; we should too lively, Jack.
only spoil it by trying to explain it. However, Capt. A. Nay, Sir, upon my word- your memory is very short; or you could not
Sir A. Come, no lying, Jack, I'm sure 'twas have forgot an affront you passed on me withso. Come, no excuses, Jack; why your father, in this week. So, no more, but name your you rogue, was so before you : the blood of time and place. the Absolutes was always impatient.
Capt. A. Well, Sir, since you are so bent on Capt. A. By all that's good, Sir
it, the sooner the better; let it be this evening, Sir A. Zounds ! say no more, I tell you ; here by the Spring Gardens. We shall scarceMrs. Malaprop shall make your peace. You ly be interrupted. must make his peace, Mrs. Malaprop: you Sir L. 'Faith! that same interruption, in must tell her, 'tis Jack's way; tell her, 'tis all affairs of this nature, shows very great'illour ways: it'runs in the blood of our family! breeding. I don't know what's the reason, Come away, Jack, ha, ha, ha! Mrs. Mala- but in England, if a thing of this kind gets prop, a young villain ! [Pushes him out. wind, people make such a pother, that a genMrs. M. Oh, Sir Anthony! O, fie, captain! tleman can never fight in peace and quietness.
(Exeunt severally. However, if it's the same to you, captain, I
should take it as a particular kindness, if you'd SCENE III.-The North Parade. let us meet in King's-Mead-fields, as a little Enter Sır LUCIUS O'TRIGGER.
business will call me there about six o'clock,
and I may dispatch both matters at once. Sir L. I wonder where this Captain Abso- Capt. A. 'Tis the same to me exactly. A lute hides himself. Upon my conscience, these little after six, then, we will discuss this matofficers are always in one's way in love affairs : ter more seriously. I remember I might have married Lady Do- Sir L. If you please, Sir; there will be a rothy Carmine, if it had not been for a little very pretty small-sword light, though it wont rogue of a major, who ran away with her be- do for a long shot. So, that matter's settled ; fore she could get sight of me! And I wonder and my mind's at ease.
[Exit. what it is the ladies can see in them to be so fond of them; unless it be a touch of the old | Enter FAULKLAND, meeting CAPTAIN serpent in them, that makes the little creatures
ABSOLUTE. be caught, like vipers, with a bit of red cloth.
Capt. A. Well met. I was going to look for Ha, isn't this the captain coming ? 'faith, it is ! you.
Oh, Faulkland ! all the demons of spite There is a probability of succeeding about that and disappointment have conspired against fellow, that is mighty provoking! who the me! I'm so vexed, that if I had not the prosdevil is he talking to ?
[Steps aside. pect of a resource, in being knocked o' the Enter CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE.
head by and by, I should scarce have spirits
to tell you the cause. Capt. A. To what fine purpose have I been Faulk. What can you mean? Has Lydia plotting! a noble reward for all my schemes, changed her mind? I should have thought upon my soul! a little gipsey ! I did not think her duty and inclination would now have her so damned absurd either. 'Sdeath, I never pointed to the same object. was in a worse humour in all my life!'I could Capt. A. Ay, just as the eyes do of a person cut my own throat, or any other person's, with who squints: when her love-eye was fixed on the greatest pleasure in the world!
me, t'other, her eye of duty, was finely obliSir L. O, faith! I'm in the luck of it. I qued: but, when duty bid her point that the never could have found him in a sweeter tem- same way, off t'other turned on a swivel, and per for my purpose; to be sure I'm just come secured its retreat with a frown! in the nick ! now to enter into conversation Faulk. But what's the resource you—. with him, and so quarrel genteely. [Sir Lu- Capt. A. Oh, to wind up the whole, Sir Lucius goes to ABSOLUTE.) With regard to that cius O'Trigger, you know him by sight, for matter, captain, I must beg leave to differ in some affront, which I am sure I never intend. opinion with you.
ed, has obliged me to meet him this evening Capt. A. Upon my word, then, you must be at six o'clock: 'tis on that account I wish to a very subtle disputant: because, Sir, I hap- see you, you must go with me.
Faulk. Nay, there must be some mistake, what dreadful accident can he mean? why sure. Sir Lucius shall explain himself, and I such charge to be alone? O Faulkland ! how dare say matters may be accommodated : but many unhappy moments, how many tears, have this evening, did you say? I wish it had been you cost me! any other time.
Enter FAULKLAND. Capt. A. Why? there will be light enough: there will (as Sir Lucius says) be very What means this? why this caution, Faulk. pretty small-sword light, though it will not land ? do for a long shot:" Confound his long shots.
Faulk. Alas, Julia ! I am come to take a Faulk. But I am myself a good deal ruffled, long farewell ! by a difference I have had with Julia. My Jul. Heavens! what do you mean? vile, tormenting temper has made me treat her
Faulk, You see before you a wretch whose so cruelly, that I shall not be myself till we life is forfeited. Nay, start not; the infirmity are reconciled.
of my temper has drawn all this misery on Capt. A. By Heavens, Faulkland, you don't me: 'I left you, fretful and passionate,--an deserve her!
untoward accident drew me into a quarrel ; Enter Servant ; gives FAULKLAND a letter. the event is, that I must fly this kingdom inFaulk. O, Jack! this is from Julia; I dread stantly! Oh, Julia, had I been so fortunate as
to have called you mine entirely, before this to open it
Capt. A. Here, let me see. [Takes the letter mischance had fallen on me, I should not so and opens it.] Ay, a final sentence, indeed! deeply dread my banishment.
Jul. My soul is oppressed with sorrow at 'tis all over with you, 'faith!
the nature of your misfortune: had these ad. Faulk. Nay, Jack, don't keep me in sus
verse circumstances arisen from a less fatal pense. Capt. A. Hear then. [Reade.]
cause, I should have felt strong comfort in the As I am convinced, that my dear Faulkland's bosom every doubt of the warm sincerity of
thought, that I could now chase from your own reflections hare already upbruided him for his last unkindness to me, I wiù not add a word my love. My heart has long known no other on the subject. I wish to speak with you as soon honour --we will fly together: when safe
guardian: I now entrust my person to your as possible. Yours, ever and truly. There's stubbornness and resentment for you! and I receive a legal claim to be the partner of
from pursuit, my father's will may be fulfilled, [Gives him the letter.] Why, man, you don't seem one whit the happier at this !
your sorrows, and tenderest comforter.
Faulk. O Julia! I am bankrupt in gratis Faulk. Oh, yes, I am-but-butCapt. A. Confound your buts! You never weigh the advantages you forego, and what
tude! Would you not wish some hours to hear any thing that would make another man little compensation poor Faulkland can make bless himself, but you immediately damn it, you besides his solitary love ? with a but! Faulk. Now, Jack, as you are my friend, I have loved yon for yourself: and if I now,
Jul. I ask not a moment. No, Faulkland, own honestly don't you think there is something forward, something indelicate, in this which so long has pledged us to each other,
more than ever, prize the solemn engagement haste to forgive? Women should never sue for it is because it leaves us no room for hard reconciliation ; that should always come from aspersions on my fame, and puts the seal of us: They should retain their coldness till duty to an act of love. But let us not linger, wooed to kindness; and their pardon, like
perhaps this delaytheir love, should “ Not unsought, be won." Capt. A. I have not patience to listen to yon out again till dark : yet am I grieved to think
Faulk. "Twill be better I should not venture ---thou'rt incorrigible ! so say no more on the what numberless distresses will press heavy subject. I must go to settle a few matters; let on your gentle disposition ! me see you before six, remember, at my lodgings. A poor industrious devil, like me, who by this unhappy act? I know not whether
Jul. Perhaps your fortune may be forfeited have toiled, and drudged, and plotted to gain 'uis so, but sure that alone can never make us my ends, and am, at last, disappointed by other people's folly, may, in pity," be allowed unhappy. The little I have will be sufficient to swear and grumble a little! but a captious
to support us, and exile never should be
splendid. sceptic in love; a slave to fretfulness and whim, who has no dificulties but of his own life my wounded pride, perhaps, may increase
Faulk. Ay, but in such an abject state of creating, is a subject more tit for ridicule than the natural fretfulness of my temper,
till compassion !
[Exit: become a rude, morose companion, beyond Faulk. I feel his reproaches; yet I would not change this too exquisite nicety, for the your patience to endure. gross content with which he tramples, on the unhappy a bent, you will the more want some
Jul. If your thoughts should assume so thorns of love. His engaging me in this duel mild and affectionate spirit to watch over and has started an idea in my head,
which I will console you, one who, by bearing your infirinstantly pursue : I'll use it as the touchstone mities with' gentleness and resignation, may of Julia's sincerity and disinterestedness; if teach you so to bear
the evils of your fortune. her love prove pure and sterling ore, my name will rest on it with honour; and, once I've quick! and with this useless device, I throw
Faulk. Julia, I have proved you to the stamped it there, I'll lay aside my doubts for away all my doubts. How shall I plead to
be forgiven this last unworthy effect of my ACT V.
restless, unsatisfied disposition?
Jul. Has no such disaster happened as you SCENE I.-Julia's Dressing-Room. related ? JULIA.
Faulk. I am ashamed to own that it was all
pretended. Let me to-morrow, in the face of Jul. How this message has alarmed meil Heaven, receive my future guide and moni
tress, and expiate my past folly, by years of matter with you? You have been crying! I'll tender adoration,
be hanged if that Faulkland has not been tor. Jul. Hold, Faulkland ! that you are free menting you ! from a crime, which I before feared to name, Jul. You mistake the cause of my uneasiHeaven knows, how sincerely I rejoice! These ness :-Something has furried me a little. are tears of thankfulness for that! But, that Nothing that you can guess at. I would not your cruel doubts should have urged you to accuse Faulkland to a sister.
(Aside. an imposition that has wrung my heart, gives Lyd. Ah! whatever vexations you may have, me now a pang more keen than I can express! I can assure you mine surpass them. You Faulk. By Heavens! Julia.
know who Beverley proves to be? Jul. Yet hear me. My father loved you, Jul. I will now own to you, Lydia, that Mr. Faulkland ! and you preserved the life that Faulkland had before informed me of the tender parent gave me! in his presence I whole affair. pledged my hand; joyfully pledged it, where Lyd. So, then, I see I have been deceived before I had given my heart. When, soon by every one ! but I don't care, I'll never have after, I lost that parent, it seemed to me, that him. Providence had, in Faulkland, shown me Jul. Nay, Lydiawhither to transfer, without à pause, my Lyd. Why, is it not provoking, when I grateful duty as well as my affection: Hence thought we were coming to the prettiest disI have been content to bear from you, what tress imaginable, to find myself made a mere pride and delicacy would have forbid me from Smithfield bargain of at last ?—There had I another. I will not upbraid you by repeating projected one of the most sentimental elopehow you have trifled with my sincerity. ments !-so becoming a disguise !-so amiable
Faulk. I confess it all! yet, hear- a ladder of ropes Conscious moon-four Jul. After such a year of trial, I might have horses-Scotch
Parson - with such surprise to flattered myself that I should not have been Mrs. Malaprop! and such paragraphs in the insulted with a new probation of my sincerity, newspapers !-Oh! I shall die with disapas cruel as unnecessary! I now see that it is pointment ! not in your nature to be content, or confident, Jul. I don't wonder at it. in love. With this conviction I never will be Lyd. Now, sad reverse –what have I to yours.
expect, but, after a deal of flimsy preparaFaulk. Nay, but, Julia, by my soul and tion, with a bishop's license, and my aunt's honour! If, after this,
blessing, to go simpering up to the altar; or, Jul. But one word more. As my faith has perhaps, be cried three times in a country once been given to you, I never will barter it church, and have an unmannerly fat clerk with another. I shall pray for your happiness ask the consent of every butcher in the parish, with the truest sincerity; and the dearest to join Jobn Absolute, and Lydia Languish, blessing I can ask of Heaven to send you, will spinster !-Oh, that I should live to hear mybe, to charm you from that unhappy temper, self called spinster!. which alone has prevented the performance of Jul. Melancholy, indeed ! our solemn engagement. All I request of you is, Lyd. How mortifying to remember the dear that you will yourself reflect upon this intirmity; delicious shifts I used to be put to, to gain half and, when you number up the many true de- a minute's conversation with this fellow ! lights it has deprived you of, let it pot be your How often have I stole forth, in the coldest least regret, that it lost you the love of one night in January, and found him in the garwho would have followed you in beggary den stuck like a dripping statue !-- There through the world!
(Exit. would he kneel to me in the snow, and sneeze Faulk. She's gone! for ever! There was an and cough so pathetically !-he shivering with awful resolution in her manner, that rivetted cold, and I with apprehension !-and while me to my place, O fool! dolt! barbarian! the freezing blast numbed our joints, how Cursed as I am, with more imperfections than warmly would he press me to pity his flame, my fellow-wretches, kind fortune sent a and glow with mutual ardour -Ah, Julia, heaven-gifted cherub to my aid, and, like a that was something like being in love! ruffian, I have driven her from my side! I Jul. If I were in spirits, Lydia, I should must now haste to my appointment. Well, my chide you only by laughing heartily at you, mind is tuned for such a scene ! I shall wish but it suits more the situation of my mind at only to become a principal in it, and reverse present earnestly to entreat you, not to let a the tale my cursed folly put me upon forging man, who loves you with sincerity, suffer that here. O love! tormentor ! fiend! whose in- unhappiness from your caprice, which I too fluence, like the moon's, acting on men of dull well know caprice can inflict. souls, makes idiots of them, but meeting Lyd. Oh, Lud! what has brought my aunt subtler spirits, betrays their course, and urges here? sensibility to madness!
Enter Mrs. MALAPROP and David.
Mrs. M. So, so! here's fine work!-here's Maid. My mistress, Ma'am, I know, was
fine suicide, parricide, and simulation, going here just now-perhaps she is only in the next found to prevent the antistrophe !
on in the fields ! and Sir Anthony not to be
[Exit. Lyd. Heigho! Though he has used me so meaning of this ?
Jul. For Heaven's sake, Madam, what's the this fellow runs strangely in my head. I believe one lecture from my grave cousin will sake! tell us what is the matter!
Lyd. Oh, patience !-Do,Ma'am,for Heaven's make me recall him.
Mrs. M. Why, murder's the matter ! slaughEnter JULIA.
ter's the matter! killing's the matter !--but he
can tell you the perpendiculars. vh, Julia, I am come to you with such an ap- Jul. Do speak, friend.
(To David. petite for consolation! Lud, child! what's the David. Lookye, my lady-by the mass,