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A NEW
NEW WAY TO PAY OLD DEBTS:

A COMEDY

IN FIVE ACTS.

BY PHILIP MASSINGER.

REMARKS.

IT has been said, that Massinger surpassed all the writers of the "olden time" in purity of style and delicacy of manners; many have considered him as second only to Shakspeare. The immoral conduct of the drama in that age renders such an admission of slight value now, but it may fairly be conceded, that the writer of this comedy, of the City Madam, (on which Sir J. Burgess has framed "Riches,") of the Fatal Dowry, and many others, possessed a mind of no ordinary or limited capability. Mr. Gifford, the able editor of Massinger, is of opinion that a real person was aimed at in Sir Giles Overreach: fortunately for mankind, such monstrous deviations from "nature and from nature's laws" do not often appear, but there can be little doubt of their reality. The variety of character and incident in this Play, the strong and lively picture of domestic manners, the serious moral so distinctly deducible from it, are qualities sufficient to veil greater faults than can fairly be attached to this production.

The animated performance of the principal character by Mr. Cooke, and since by Mr. Kean with increased effect, have placed this comedy on the stock-list of our Royal Theatres.

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ACT I.

SCENE I.—The outside of a Village Alehouse.
Enter WELLBORN, TAPWELL, and FROTH.
Well. No liquor! nor no credit?
Tap. None, Sir;

Not the remainder of a single can,
Left by a drunken porter.

Froth. Not the dropping of the tap for your
morning's draught, Sir.

"Tis verity, I assure you. Well. Verity, you brach!

The devil turn'd precisian? Rogue, what am I? Tap. Troth! durst I trust you with a looking-glass,

To let you see your trim shape, you would
quit me,

And take the name yourself.
Well. How! dog?

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Tap. At his own peril! Do not put yourself In too much heat, there being no water near To quench your thirst; and sure for other li

quor,

[it, As mighty ale or beer, they are things, I take You must no more remember; not in a dream, Sir.

Well. Why, thou unthankful villain, dar'st thou talk thus ?

[Raising his stick. Is not thy house, and all thou hast, my gift?

Tap. I find it not in chalk, Sir; and Timothy | But let 'em vanish;

Tapwell

Does keep no other register. Well. Am I not he

[not

Whose riots fed and cloth'd thee? Wert thou
Born on my father's land, and proud to be
A drudge in his house?

Tap. What I was, Sir, it skills not; [well; What you are is apparent. Now for a fareSince you talk of father, in my hope it will torment you,

I'll briefly tell your story. Your dead father, Old Sir John Wellborn,

My quondam master, was a man of worship; Bore the whole sway of the shire; kept a good house;

Reliev'd the poor, and so forth; but he dying,
And the twelve hundred a year coming to you,
Late master Francis, but now forlorn Well-
born-

Well. Slave, stop! or I shall lose myself.
Froth. Very hardly.

You cannot be out of your way.

Tap. You were then a lord of acres, the prime gallant, [now: And I your under butler:-note the change You had a merry time of't. Hawks and

hounds,

With choice of running horses; mistresses,
And other such extravagances;
[ing,
Which your uncle, Sir Giles Overreach, observ-
Resolving not to lose so fair an opportunity,
On foolish mortgages, statutes, and bonds,
For awhile supplied your lavishness, and then
left you.

Well. Some curate has penn'd this invective, And you have studied it. [mongrel, Tap. I have not done yet. [token, Your lands gone, and your credit not worth a You grew the common borrower; no mau 'scap'd [groom; Your paper pellets, from the gentleman to the While I, honest Tim Tapwell, with a little stock, [tage, Some forty pounds or so, bought a small cotAnd humbled my self to marriage with my Froth

here.

Well. Hear me, ungrateful hell-hound! did not I

Make purses for you? then you lick'd my boots, And thought your holiday cloak too coarse to clean 'em.

'Twas I, that when I heard thee swear, if ever Thou couldst arrive at forty pounds, thou wouldst

Live like an emperor; 'twas I that gave it,
In ready gold. Deny this, wretch!

Tap. I must, Sir.

For from the tavern to the tap-house, all,
On forfeiture of their licence, stand bound
Never to remember who their best guests were,
If they grow poor like you.

[rich.

Well. They are well rewarded That beggar themselves to make such rascals Thou viper, thankless viper!

But since you are grown forgetful, I will help Your memory, and beat thee into remembrance; Nor leave one bone unbroken. [Beats him.

Tap. Oh, oh, oh! Froth. Help! help!

Enter ALLWorth.

Allw. Hold, for my sake, hold! [anger. Deny me, Frank? they are not worth your Well. For once thou hast redeem'd them from this sceptre:

[Shaking his cudgel. For if they grumble, I revoke my pardon. Froth. This comes of your prating, husband; you presum'd on your ambling wit, and must use your glib tongue, though you are beaten lame for't.

Tap. Patience,. Froth,
There's law to cure our bruises.

[Exeunt TAPWELL and FROTH into the
house.

Well. Sent for to your mother?

Allw. My lady, Frank, my patroness! my all!

She's such a mourner for my father's death,
And, in her love to him, so favours me,
That I cannot pay too much observance to her.
There are few such step-dames.

Well. "Tis a noble widow,

And keeps her reputation pure, and clear
From the least taint of infamy; but
Pr'ythee tell me, has she no suitors?

Allw. Even the best of the shire, Frank,
My lord excepted: such as sue and send,
And send and sue again; but to no purpose.
Yet she's so far from sullenness and príde,
That I dare undertake you shall meet from her
A liberal entertainment.

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Do I run the hazard?

Well. Art thou not in love? Put it not off with wonder.

Allw. In love, at my years?

Well. You think you walk in clouds, but are transparent.

star

[made; I have heard all, and the choice that you have And, with my finger, can point out the north By which the loadstone of your folly's guided. And to confirm this true, what think you of Fair Margaret, the only child and heir Of cormorant Overreach? Dost blush and start,

To hear her only nam'd? Blush at your want Of wit and reason.

Allw. Howe'er you have discover'd my intents,

You know my aims are lawful; and if ever The queen of flowers, the glory of the spring, Sprung from an envious briar, I may infer, There's such disparity in their conditions Between the goddess of my soul, the daughter, And the base churl, her father.

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And think of some course suitable to thy rank, | To feed upon her. Yet, of all the harpies
And prosper in it.

Allic. You have well advis'd me. [studious
But, in the meanwhile, you, that are so
Of my affairs, wholly neglect your own. [are.
Remember yourself, and in what plight you
Well. No matter, no matter.
Allw. Yes, 'tis much material:
You know my fortune and my means;
something

That do devour her, I am out of charity
With none so much as the thin-gutted 'squire,
That's stolen into commission.
Order. Justice Greedy?

Fur. The same, the same. Meat's cast away
upon him;

It never thrives. He holds this paradox, yet" Who eats not well, can ne'er do justice well." His stomach's as insatiate as the grave. LA knocking.

I can spare from myself, to help your wants.

Well. How's this?

Allw. Nay, be not angry.

Well. Money from thee?

From a boy? one that lives

[Offers money.

Amble. One knocks.

Enter ALLWorth.

At the devotion of a step-mother,
And the uncertain favour of a lord?

[tune

I'll eat my arms first. Howsoe'er blind For-
Hath spent the utmost of her malice on me;
Though I am thrust out of an alehouse,
And thus accoutred; know not where to eat,
Or drink, or sleep, but underneath this canopy;
Although I thank thee, I disdain thy offer.
And as I, in my madness, broke my state
Without th' assistance of another's brain,
In my right wits I'll piece it; at the worst,
Die thus, and be forgotten.
Allw. Fare thee well.

[Exeunt severally.

SCENE II.-A Room in LADY ALLWORTH'S

House.

Enter ORDER, AMBLE, and FURNACE. Order. Set all things right, or, as my name is Order,

Whoever misses in his function,

For one whole week makes forfeiture of his
And privilege in the wine cellar. [breakfast,
Amble. You are merry,

Good master steward.

Fur. Let him; I'll be angry.

Amble. Why, fellow Furnace, 'tis not twelve
o'clock yet,

Nor dinner taking up; then 'tis allow'd,
Cooks, by their places, may be choleric."
Fur. You think you have spoken wisely,
goodman Amble,
My lady's go-before.

Order. Nay, nay, no wrangling.

Fur. Twit me with the authority of the kit-
chen?

At all hours, and at all places, I'll be angry;
And, thus provok'd, when I am at my prayers
I will be angry.

Amble. There was no hurt meant.

Fur. I am friends with thee, and yet I will be angry;

Order. With whom?

Fur. No matter whom; yet, now I think
I'm angry with my lady.
[on't,

Amble. Heaven forbid, man.
Order. What cause has she given thee?
Fur. Cause enough, master steward;
I was entertain'd by her to please her palate,
And, till she forswore eating, I perform'd it.
Now since our master, noble Allworth, died,
Though I crack my brain to find out tempting
When I am three parts roasted, [sauces,
And the fourth part parboil'd, to prepare her
viands,

She keeps her chamber, dines with a panada
Or water gruel; my sweat ne'er thought on.
Order. But your art is seen in the dining-

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Order. Our late young master.
Amble. Welcome, Sir.

Fur. Your hand.'

[ready.

If you have a stomach, a cold bake-meat's
Örder. His father's picture in little.

Fur. We are all your servants.
This is some comfort. Is my lady stirring?
Allw. At once, my thanks to all;

Enter LADY ALLWORTH.

Order. Her presence answers for us.
Lady A. I'll take the air alone.
And, as I gave directions, if this morning
I am visited by any, entertain 'em
As heretofore; but say, in my excuse,
I am indispos'd.

Order. I shall, Madam.

Lady A. Do, and leave me.

[Exit ORDER, AMBLE, &c.

[nour.

Nay, stay you, Allworth.
How is it with your noble master?
Allw. Ever like himself;
No scruple lessen'd in the full weight of ho-
He did command me, (pardon my presump-
As his unworthy deputy, to kiss [tion,)
Your ladyship's fair hands.

Lady A. I am honour'd in
His favour to me. Does he hold his purpose
For the Low Countries?

Allw. Constantly, good Madam ;
But he will in person first present his service.

Lady A. What say you to his purpose? You
Like virgin parchment, capable of any [are
Inscription, vicious or honourable.

I will not force your will, but leave you free
To your own election.

Allw. Any form you please

I will put on; but, might I make my choice,
With humble emulation I would follow
The path my lord marks to me.

Lady A. 'Tis well answer'd,

And I commend your spirit. You had a father
(Bless'd be his memory!) that, some few hours
Before the will of Heaven took him from me,
Did commend you, by the dearest ties
Of perfect love between us, to my care;
And therefore what I speak you are bound
to hear,

With such respect as if he liv'd in me,
Allw. I have found you,

Most honour'd Madam, the best mother to me;
And with my utmost strength of care and

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[ACT L

They do presume they may with license prac- | And red deer too, Sir Giles, and bak'd in

tise

Their lawless riots, they shall never merit
The noble name of soldiers.-

To obey their leaders, and shun mutinies;
To dare boldly

In a fair cause, and for the country's safety
To run upon the cannon's mouth undaunted;
To bear with patience the winter's cold
And summer's scorching heat;

Are the essentials to make up a soldier,
Not swearing, dice, or drinking.'

Allw. There's no syllable

You speak, but is to me an oracle,
Which but to doubt were impious.
Lady A. To conclude:-
Beware ill company; for often men
Are like to those with whom they do converse:
And from one man I warn you, and that's
Wellborn:-
Not 'cause he's poor-that rather claims your
[pity;
But that he's in his manners so deprav'd,
And hath in vicious courses lost himself,
'Tis true your father lov'd him, while he was
Worthy the loving; but, if he had liv'd
To have seen him as he is, he had cast him off,
Which you must do.

Allw. I shall obey in all things.

Lady A. Follow me to my chamber; you
shall have gold

To furnish you like my son, and still supplied
As I hear from you.

Allw. I am still bound to you.

[Exeunt.

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puff-paste!

All business set aside, let us give thanks here.
Sir. G. You know we cannot.

Mar. Your worships are to sit on commis

sion,

And if you fail to come you lose the cause.
Just. Gr. Cause me no causes: I'll prove't,
for such a dinner,

We may put off a commission; you shall find
Henrici decimo quarto.

Sir G. Fie, Mr. Greedy,

[it

Will you lose me a thousand pounds for a

dinner?

No more, for shame! We must forget the
When we think of profit.

[belly,

Just. Gr. Well, you shall overrule me.
I could even now cry. Do you hear, master
Cook?

Send but a corner of that immortal pasty,
And I in thankfulness will, by your boy,
Send you a brace of threepences.
Fur. Will you be so prodigal ?
Sir G. Remember me to your lady.
Enter WELLborn.

Who have we here?

Well. You know me.

Sir G. I did once, but now I will not;
Thou art no blood of mine. Avaunt, thou

beggar!

If ever thou presume to cross me more,
I'll have thee cag'd and whipp'd.
Think of pie-corner, Furnace.
Just. Gr. I'll grant the warrant.

[Exeunt SIR GILES OVERREACH, JUSTICE
GREEDY, and MARRALL.

Amble. Will you out, Sir?

I wonder how you durst

creep in.

Order. This is rudeness,
And sancy impudence.

[To WELLBORN.

[basket,

Amble. Cannot you stay
To be serv'd among your fellows from the
But you must press into the hall?

Fur. Pr'ythee, vanish

Into some out-house, though it be the pig-stye;
My scullion shall come to thee.

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Well. And though I have met with [here,
But ragged entertainment from your grooms
hope from you to receive that noble usage,
As may become the true friend of your hus-
And then I shall forget these.
[band;
Lady A. I am amaz'd
[think,
To see and hear this rudeness. Dar'st thou
Though sworn, that it can ever find belief,
That I, who to the first men of this country
Denied my presence since my husband's death,
Can fall so low as to change words with thee?
Well. Scorn me not, good lady;
But, as in form you are angelical,
Imitate the heavenly natures, and vouchsafe
At least awhile to hear me. You will grant
The blood that runs in this arm is as noble
As that which fills your veins. Your swelling
titles,

Equipage, and fortune, your men's observance,
And women's flattery, are in you no virtues;
Nor these rags, with my poverty, in me vices.
You have a fair name, and I know deserve it;
Yet, lady, I must say in nothing more
Than in the pious sorrow you have shown
For your late noble husband.

Order. There he touch'd her.
[Aside.
Well. That husband, Madam, was once in

his fortune

Almost as low as I. Want, debts, and crosses,
Lay heavy on him: let it not be thought
A boast in me, though I say I reliev'd him.
'Twas I did give him fashion; mine the sword
That did on all occasions second his;

1 brought him on and off with honour, lady:
And when in all men's judgments he was sunk,
And in his own hopes not to be buoy'd up,
I stepp'd unto him, took him by the hand,
And brought him to the shore.

Fur. Are we not base rogues
That could forget this?

[Aside.

Well. I confess you made him
Master of your estate; nor could your friends,
Though he brought no wealth with him, blame
you fort:

For he had a shape, and to that shape a mind
Made up of all parts, either great or noble;
So winning a behaviour, not to be
Resisted, Madam.

Lady A. "Tis most true, he had.

Well. For his sake then, in that I was his Do not contemn me.

[friend,

Lady A. For what's past, excuse me; I will redeem it. [Offers him her pocket-book, Well. Madam, on no terms;

I will not beg nor borrow sixpence of you;
But be supplied elsewhere, or want thus ever.
Only one suit I make : pray give me leave.
[LADY ALLWORTH signs to the Servants to
retire.

I will not tire your patience with relation
Of the bad arts my uncle Overreach
Still forg'd, to strip me of my fair possessions;
Nor how he shuts the door upon my want.
Would you but vouchsafe

[grace

To your dead husband's friend, such seeming As might beget opinion in Sir Giles

Of a true passion toward me, you would see,
In the mere thought to prey on me again,
He'd turn my friend,

Quit all my owings, set me trimly forth, [use,
And furnish'd well with gold; which I should
I trust, to your no shame, lady, but live
Ever a grateful debtor to your gentleness.
Lady A. What, nothing else?

Well. Nothing, unless you please to charge your servants

To throw away a little respect upon me.

Lady A. What you demand is yours. Respect this gentleman as 'twere myself. Adieu, dear master Wellborn; [To the Servants. Pray let me see you with your oft'nest means. Well. Your honour's servant.

[Kisses her hand; exit LADY ALLWORTH, Now, what can be wrought out of such a suit Is yet in supposition. [Servants bow to WELL.] And, for a lucky omen to my project, Nay, all's forgotten; Shake hands, and end all quarrels in the cellar. Order. Agreed, agreed.

Fur. Still merry, Mr. Wellborn.

[Exeunt Servants.

Well. Faith, a right worthy and a liberal

lady,

Who can at once so kindly meet my purposes,
And brave the flouts of censure, to redeem
Her husband's friend! When by this honest
plot

The world believes she means to heal my wants
With her extensive wealth, each noisy creditor
Will be struck mute, and I be left at large
To practise on my uncle Overreach.
Here I may work the measure, to redeem
My mortgag'd fortune, which he stripp'd me of
When youth and dissipation quell'd my reason.
The fancy pleases,-if the plot succeed,
'Tis a new way to pay old debts, indeed. [Exit.

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To squeeze these unthrifts into air; and yet
The chop-fall'n justice did his part, returning
For your advantage the certificate,
Against his conscience and his knowledge too,
(With your good favour,) to the utter ruin
Of the poor farmer.

Sir G. "Twas for these good ends

I made him a justice. He that bribes his belly Is certain to command his soul.

Mar. I wonder

Why, your worship having

The power to put this thin gut in commission, You are not in't yourself.

Sir G. Thou art a fool;

In being out of office, I am out of danger;
Where, if I were a justice, besides the trouble,
I might, or out of wilfulness or error,
Run myself finely into a premunire;
And so become a prey to the informer.
No, I'll have none of't: 'tis enough I keep
Greedy at my devotion: so he serve
My purposes, let him hang, or damn, I care
Friendship is but a word.
[not;

Mar. You are all wisdom.

Sir G. I would be worldly wise; for the other wisdom,

That does prescribe us a well-govern'd life,
And to do right to others as ourselves,
I value not an atom.

Mar. What course take you (With your good pleasure) to hedge in the

manor

[said, Of your good neighbour, Mr. Frugal? As 'tis He will not sell, nor borrow, nor exchange; And his land, lying in the midst of your many Is a foul blemish. [lordships,

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