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Sir G. I have thought on't, Marrall,
Sir. G. And, therefore, I'll not have a chamAnd it shall take. I must have all men sel
bermaid And I the only purchaser.
[lers, That ties her shoes, or any meaner office, Mar. "Tis most fit, Sir.
But such whose fathers were right worshipful. Sir G. I'll therefore buy some cottage near Tis a rich man's pride! there having ever his manor;
Between us and true gentry.
Mar. See! who's here, Sir. Which I can spare, but will soon beggar him. Sir G. Hence, monster! prodigy! When I have hurried him thus two or three Well. Call me what you will, I am your years,
nephew, Sir, Though he sue formâ pauperis, in spite
Your sister's son. Of all his thrift and care, he'll grow behind- Sir G. Avoid my sight; thy breath's infechand,
tious, rogue ! Mar. The best I ever heard. I could adore I shun thee as a leprosy, or the plague. you.
Come hither, Marrall, this is the time to work Sir G. Then, with the favour of my man of
him. [Apart to MARRALL, and exit. law,
Mar. I warrant you, Sir.
Mar. Mad! had you took compassion on For half the value, he shall have ready money,
yourself, And I possess the land.
You long since had been mad. Mur. Wellborn was apt to sell, and needed Well. You have ta'en a course, These fine arts to hook him in.
[not Between you and my venerable uncle, Sir G. Well thought on.
To make me so.
[cold That would not be instructed. I swear deeplyWith my close cheat put upon him. Will not Well. By what? Nor hunger kill him ?
Mur. By my religion. Mar. I know not what to think on't.
Well. Thy religion ! I have us’d all means; and yesterday 1 caus’d The devil's creed. But what would you have His host, the tapster, to turn him out of doors;
done? And have been since with all your friends and Mar. Before, like you, I had outliv'd my tenants,
fortunes, And, on the forfeit of your favour, charg' A withe had serv'd my turn to hang myself. Though a crust of mouldy bread would keep I am zealous in your cause : pray you bang him from starving,
yourself; Yet they should not relieve him. This is done, And presently, as you love your credit. Sir G. That was something, Marrall; but Well. I thank you. thou must go farther,
Mar. Will you stay till you die in a ditch ? And suddenly, Marrall.
Or, if you dare not do the feat yourself, Mar. Where and when you please, Sir. But that you'll put the state to charge and Sir G. I would have thee seek him out; and,
trouble, if thou canst,
Is there no purse to be cut? house to be broken? Persuade him that 'tis better steal than beg. Or market woman with eggs, that you may Then, if I prove he has but robb'd a hen-roost, And so despatch the business? [murder, Not all the world shall save him from the gal- Well. Here's variety, Do any thing to work him to despair, [lows. I must confess; but I'll accept of none And 'tis thy masterpiece.
Of all your gentle offers, I assure you. Mar. I will do my best, Sir.
Mar. If you like not hanging, drown your. Sir G. I am now on my main work with the
self; take some course Lord Lovell,
For your reputation. gallant-minded, popular, Lord Lovell; Well. 'Twill not do, dear tempter, The minion of the people's love. I hear With all the rhetoric the fiend haih taught you; He's come into the country, and my aims are I am as far as thou art from despair. To insinuate myself into his knowledge, Nay, I have confidence, which is more than And then invite him to my house.
hope, Mar. I have you.
To live, and suddenly, better than ever. This points at my young mistress.
Mar. Ha, ha! these castles you build in the Sir G. She must part with
Will not persuade me to give or lend (air, That humble title, and be honourable;.
A token to you. Right honourable, Marrall; my right honour- Well, I'll be more kind to thee; able daughter;
Come, thou shalt dine with me. If all I have, or e'er shall get, will do it. Mar. With you? I will have her well attended there are ladies Well. Nay, more, dine gratis. Of errant knights decay'd, and brought so low, Mar. Under what hedge, I pray you, or
at That for cast clothes and meat will gladly
whose cost ? serve her;
Are they padders, or gipsies, that are your And 'tis my glory, though I come from the
consorts ? city,
Well. Thou art incredulous ; but thou shalt To have their issue, whom I have undone,
(lady; To kneel to mine as bond slaves.
Not alone at her house, but with a gallant Mar. 'Tis fit state, Sir.
With me, and with a lady
Mar. Lady! what lady?
Some rails and quails ; and my lady willd me With the lady of the lake, or queen of fairies ?
to ask you For I know it must be an enchanted dinner. What kind of sauces best affect your palate,
Well. With the Lady Allworth, knave. That I may use my utmost skill to please it Mar. Now there's hope
Mar. The devil's enter'd this cook; sauce Thy brain is crack'd.
for his palate,
[month, Well, Mark thee with what respect That, on my knowledge, for almost this iwelveI am entertain'd.
Durst wish but cheese-parings and brown Mar. With choice, no doubt, of dog-whips.
bread on Sundays!
[Aside. Wby, dost thou ever hope to pass her porter ? Well. That way I like them best. Well. "Tis not far off, go with me; trust Fur. It shall be done, Sir.
[Exit. thine own eyes.
Well. What think you of the hedge we shall Mar. Troth, in my hope, or my assurance,
dine under ?
Re-enter ORDER. SCENE II.-A Hall in LADY ALLWORTH's Order. This place becomes you not; House.
Pray you walk, Sir, to the dining room.
Well. I am well here,
Mar. Well here, say you? AUw. Your courtesies overwhelm me; I 'Tis a rare change! but yesterday you thought much grieve
Yourself well in a barn, wrapp'd up in peaseTo part from such true friends, and yet I find
(Aside. My attendance on my honourable lord
Enter TABITHA and ABIGAIL.
Tab. O! you're much wish'd for, Sir.
(Knocks. Dream'd of you; and her first command this Order. 'Tis he; disperse.
morning Amble. Perform it bravely.
[Exit. Was to have notice, Sir, of your arrival. Fur. I know my cue; ne'er doubt me. [Exit. Order. Sir, my lady.
(Exit. Enter MARRALL and WELLBORN.
Enter LADY ALLWORTH.
Lady A. I come to meet you, and languish'd
till I saw yon. To my friend, I pray you.
This first kiss for form: 1 allow a second
Well. I am wholly yours; yet, Madam, if Well. Mum; this is nothing. (Aside.
you please Mar. More than ever
To grace this gentleman with a salute. I would have believ'd, though I had found it
[Handing MARRALL. in my primer.
(Aside. Mar. Salute me at his bidding! [Aside. Alw. When I have given you reasons for
Well, I shall receive it my late harshness,
As a most high favour. You'll pardon and excuse me; for, believe me,
Lady A. Sir, your friends are welcome to Though now I part abruptly, in my service I will deserve it.
Well. Run backward from a lady! and such Mar. Service! with a vengeance! (Aside.
a lady? Well. I am satisfied ; farewell, Tom.
Mar. To kiss her foot is to poor me a favour. Allw. All joy stay with you. (Exit. I am unworthy of- [Offers to kiss her foot.
Lady A. Nay, pray you,
rise;. Re-enter AMBLE.
And since you are so humble, I'll exalt you ; Amble. You are happily encounter'd; I never You shall dine with me to-day, at mine own
table. Presented one so welcome, as I know (yet You will be to my lady.
Mar. Your ladyship’s table ? I am not good Mar. This is some vision ;
(hill; To sit at your steward's board. [enough Or sure these men are mad, to worship a dung- Lady A. You are too modest; It cannot be a truth.
[Aside. I will not be denied. Well. Be still a pagan,
Re-enter ORDER. An unbelieving infidel; be so, miscreant! And meditate on blankets and on dog-whips. Order. Dinner is ready for your ladyship.
Lady A. Your arm, Mr. Wellborn:
Nay, keep us company.
Mar. I never was so grac'd. [Exeunt. Fur. I am glad you are come; until I know
Re-enter FURNACE. your pleasure, I knew not how to serve up my lady's dinner. Order. So, we have play'd our parts, and Mar. His pleasure ! is it possible? [Aside.
are come off well; Well. What's thy will ?
But if I know the mystery, why my lady Fur. Marry, Sir, I have some grouse and Consented to it, may I perish. turkey-chicken,
Fur. Would I had
The roasting of his heart that cheated him,
(all. And forces the poor gentleman to these shifte: Lady and see in your looks you are sorry, By fire! (for cooks are Persians, and swear Ad easy mistress : be merry! I have forgot by it,).
Order and Furnace, come with me; I must Of all the griping and extorting tyrants
give you I ever heard or read of, I never met
Further directions. A match to Sir Giles Overreach.
Order. What you please. Order. What will you take
Fur. We are ready.
[Exeunt. To tell him so, fellow Furnace ? Fur. Just as much
SCENE III.-The Country.
Enter WELLBORN and MARRALL
Well, I think I am in a good way.
Mar. Good, Sir! the best way; Rich in his habit; vast in his expenses ;
The certain best way. Yet he, to admiration, still increases
Well. These are casualties
That men are subject to.
[him. I hope Jack Marrall shall not live so long, As they were cobwebs. No man dare reprove To prove himself such an unmannerly beast, Such a spirit to dare, and power to do, were Though it hail hazel-nuts, as to be cover'd Lodg'd so unluckily.
(never when your worship's present.
Well. Is not this a true rogue,
That, out of mere hope of a future cozinage, Amble. Ha, ha! I shall burst.
Can turn thus suddenly ? 'Tis rank already. Order. Contain thyself, man.
(Aside. Fur. Or make us partakers
Mar. I know your worship’s wise, and needs Of your sudden mirth.
no counsel ; Amble. Ha, ha! my lady has got
Yet if, in my desire to do you service, Such a guest at her table: this term-driver, I humbly offer my advice, (but still This snip of an attorney.
Under correction, I hope I shall not Fur. What of him, man?
Incur your high displeasure. Amble. The knave feeds so slovenly.
Weủ. No; speak freely. Fur. Is this all ?
Mar. Then, in my judgment, Sir, my simple Amble. My lady
(you Drank to him for fashion's sake, or to please (Still with your worship’s favour,) I could wish Mr. Wellborn.
A better habit, for this cannot be As I live, he rises, and takes up a dish,
But much distasteful to the noble lady In which there were some remnants of a boild That loves you. I have twenty pounds here, And pledges her in white broth. [capon,
Which, out of my true love, 1 presently Fur. Nay, 'tis like
Lay at your worship's feet; 'twill serve to buy The rest of his tribe.
A riding suit.
[you Amble. And when I brought him wine,
Well. But where's the horse ? He leaves his chair, and, after a leg or two,
Mar. My gelding Most humbly thanks my worship; my worship! Is at your service; nay, you shall ride me, AU. Ha, hu, ha!
Before your worship shall be put to the trouble Order. Risen already !
To walk a-foot. Alas! when you are lord Fur. My lady frowns.
Of this lady's manor, (as I know you will be,) Amble. I shall be chid.
You may, with the lease of glebe land, call'á
Knave's acre, Re-enter LADY ALLWORTH, WELLBORN, and
A place I would manure, requite your vassal. MARRALL.
Well, I thank thy love; but must make no
use of it. Lady A. You attended us well!
What's twenty pounds ? Let me have no more of this; I observ'd your Mar. 'Tis all that I can make, Sir. jeering.
(worthy Well. Dost thou think, though I want clothes, Sirrah, l'll have you know, whom I think
I could not have 'em, To sit at my table, is not your companion. For one word to my lady?
[To AMBLE. Mar. As I know not that Order. Nay, she'll preserve what's due to Well. Come, I'll tell thee a secret, and so her.
leave thee, Lady A. You are master
[ners, I'll not give her the advantage, though she be Of your own will. I know so much of man- A gallant-minded lady, after we are married, As not to inquire your purposes; in a word, To hit me in the teeth, and say she was forc'd To me you are ever welcome, as to a house To buy my wedding-clothes ; That is your own.
[TO WELLBORN. No, I'll be furnish'd something like myself. Well. Mark that.
And so farewell: for thy suit, touching Mar. With reverence, Sir,
Knave's acre, An it like your worship.
When it is mine, 'tis thine.
(E.rit. Well. Trouble yourself no further, [vice, Mar. I thank your worship. Dear Madam; my heart's full of zeal and ser- How was I cozen'd in the calculation However in my language I am sparing. Of this man's fortune! my master cozen'd too, Come, Mr. Marrall.
Whose pupil I am in the art of undoing men ; Mar. I attend your worship.
For thai is our profession. Well, well, Mr. (Exeunt WELLBORN and MARRALL.
You are of a sweet nature, and fit again to be Sir G. No, no; but drive the lying spirit cheated ;
out of you. Which, if the fates please, when you are pos
Mar. He's gone. sess'd
Ibe. Sir G. I have done then. Now, forgetting Of the land and lady, you sans question shall Your late imaginary feast and lady, [row; I'll presently think of the means.
Know, my Lord Lovell dines with me to-mor(Walks about, musing. Be careful nought be wanting to receive him; Enter Sir GILES OVERREACH.
And bid my daughter's women trim her up :
Though they paint her, so she catch the lord, Sir G. Sirrah, order my carriage round;
I'll thank 'em. I'll walk to get me an appetite. 'Tis but a There's a piece for my late blows. mile,
Mar. I must yet suffer; And exercise will keep me from being pursy. But there may be a time
[Aside. Ha! Marrall! is he conjuring? Perhaps Sir G. Do you grumble ? The knave has wrought the prodigal to do Mar. No, Sir.
[Exeunt. Some outrage on himself, and now he feels Compunction in his conscience for't; no matter,
SCENE I.-The Country.
Enter Lord Lovell and ALLWORTH.
Lord L. Drive the carriage down the hill;
I must impart to Allworth.
What danger, though in ne'er so horrid Sir G. Art thou in thy wits ?
shapes, If thou art, reveal this miracle, and briefly: Nay, death itself, though I should run to meet
Mar. A lady, Sir, is fallen in love with him. Can I, and with a thankful willingness, suffer; Sir G. With him? what lady?
But still the retribution will fall short Mar. The rich Lady Allworth.
Of your bounties shower'd upon me. Sir G. Thou dolt! 'how dar'st thou speak Lord L. Nay, good youth, this?
Till what I purpose be put into act, Mar. I speak truth;
Do not o'erprize it ; since you have trusted me And I do so but once a year, unless
With your soul's nearest, nay her dearest, It be to you, Sir. I din'd with her ladyship,
secret, I thank his worship.
Rest confident, 'tis in a cabinet lock'd Sir G. His worship!
Treachery shall never open. I have found you Mar. As I live, Sir,
More zealous in your love and service to me,
Above my merit. You have been
Pray you, pardon the comparison.
Lord L' I allow it, Dine at her table! and kiss him, or thee! And give you assurance I'm pleas'd in't. Impudent varlet! Have not I myself, My carriage and demeanour to your mistress, To whom great countesses doors have oft Fair Margaret, shall truly witness for me,
[death, I can command my passion. Ten times attempted, since her husband's Allw. "Tis a conquest In vain to see her, though I came—a suitor ? Few lords can boast of when they are And yet your good solicitorship, and rogue tempted.-Oh! Wellborn,
(her:-- Lord L. Why do you sigh ? can you be Were brought into her presence, feasted with
doubtful of me?
(chas'd, But that I know thee a dog that cannot blush, By that fair name I in the wars have purThis most incredible lie would call up one And all my actions hitherto untainted, On thy buttermilk cheeks.
I will not be more true to mine own honour, Mar. Shall I not trust my eyes, Sir, Than to thee, Allworth. Or taste ? I feel her good cheer in my belly. Allw. Were you to encounter with a single Sir G. You shall feel me, if you give not The victory were certain : but to stand [foe, over, sirrah.
(gull’d The charge of two such potent enemies, Recover your brains again, and be no more At once assaulting you, as wealth and beauty, With a beggar's plot, assisted by the aids And those two seconded with power, is odds Of serving men and chambermaids, (for, be- Too great for Hercules. yond these,
Lord L. Speak your doubts and fears, Thou never saw'st a woman,) or I'll quit you Since you will nourish 'em, in plainer lanFrom my employments.
That I may understand 'em.
(guage, Mar. Will you credit this yet?
Allw. What's your will, On my confidence of their marriage, I offer'd Though I lend arms against myself, (provided Wellborn
They may advantage you,) must be obey'd. (I would give a crown now,
I durst say his My much-lov'd lord, were Margaret only fair, worship,)
[Aside. You might command your passion; My pag, and twenty pounds,
But, when you feel ber touch, or bear her talk, Sir G. Did you so, idiot? [Strikes him down. Hypolitus himself would leave Diana, Was this the way to work him to despair, To follow such a Venus. Or rather to cross me? [Strikes him again. Lord L. Love hath made you Mar. Will your worship kill me ?
Alw. Grant all these beat off,
| But from her mother: I was ever forward, (Which, if it be in man to do, you'll do it,) As she must be, and therefore I'll prepare her. Mammon, in Sir Giles Overreach, steps in, With heaps of ill-got gold, and so much land, Re-enter MARRALL, with MARGARET.
as would tire A falcon's wings, in one day, to fly over.
Alone, Margaret, and let your women wait I here release your trust;
without. 'Tis happiness enough for me to serve you,
Marg. Your pleasure, Sir? (Exit MARRALL. And sometimes, with chaste eyes, to look on
Sir G. Ha, this is a neat dressing! (too! her.
These orient pearls and diamonds well plac'd Lord L. Why, shall I swear?
The gown affects me not; it should have been Allw. Oh, by no means, my lord !
Embroider'd o'er and o'er with flowers of gold; Lord L. Suspend
But these rich jewels, and quaint fashion, helpit. Your judgment till the trial. How far is it
How like you your new woman, the Lady To Overreach's house?
Marg. Well, for a companion ;
*Sir G. Is she humble, Meg? From your jealous fears.
And careful too, her ladyship forgotten? Allw. Ob that I durst but hope it! [Exeunt.
Marg: I pity her fortune.
Sir G. Pity her! trample on her.
I took her up in an old tatter'd gown
(E'en starv'd for want of food) to serve thee;
And if I understand she but repines Enter Sir Giles OVERREACH, Justice Greedy, To do thee any duty, though ne'er so servile, and MARRALL.
I'll pack her to her knight,
where I have lodg'd him,
[gether. Sir G. Spare for no cost, let my dressers Into the counter, and there let them howl tocrack with the weight
Marg. You know your own ways; but, for Of curious viands.
me, I blush Just. Gr. Store indeed's no sore, Sir.
When I command her, that was once attended Sir G. That proverb fits your stomach, Mr. With persons not inferior to myself Greedy.
In birth. Just. Gr. It does, indeed, Sir Giles ;
Sir G. In birth! Why, art thou not my I do not like to see a table ill spread,
daughter, Poor, meagre, just sprinkld o'er with salads, The bless'd child of my industry and wealth? Slic'd beef, giblets, and pig's pettitoes. Part with these humble thoughts, and apt But the substantials-Oh! Sir Giles, the sub.
thyself The state of a fat turkey now, (stantials! To the noble state I labour'd to advance thee; The decorum, the grandeur hé marches in with. Or, by my hopes to see thee honourable, 0, I declare, I do much honour a chine of I will adopt a stranger to my heir, (me. 0, lord! I do reverence a loin of veal! (beef! And throw thee from my care; do not provoke Sir G. And let no plate be seen but what's Marg. I will not, Sir; mould me which way pure gold;
you please. Or such whose workmanship exceeds the That it is made of; lay my choicest linen;
Re-enter Justice GREEDY.
Just. Gr. Sir Giles, Sir Giles,-
The cook, Sir, is self-will’d, and will not learn Sir G. Avaunt! you drudge.
From my experience. There's a fawn brought Now all my labour'd ends are at the stake, Is't a time to think of thrift? Callin niy daugh. And, for my life, I cannot make him roast it ter.
(Exit MARRALL. With a Norfolk dumpling in the belly of it; And, master justice, since you love choice And, Sir, we wise 'men know, without the And plenty of em
[dishes, dumpling Just. Gr. As I do, indeed, Sir,
"Tis not worth threepence. Almost as much as to give thanks for 'em- Sir G. Would it were whole in thy belly, Sir G. I do confer that province, with my To stuff it out; cook it any way; pr’ythee, power
leave me Of absolute command to have abundance, Just. Gr. Without order for the dumpling? To your best care.
Sir G. Let it be dumpled Just. Gr. I'll punctually discharge it, Which way thou wilt; or, tell him I will scald And give the best directions.
In his own caldron. [SIR GILES OVERREACH retires. Just. Gr. I had lost my stomach Now am I,
Had I lost my dumpling:
[Erit. In my own conceit, a monarch; at the least Sir G. Bui to our business, Meg; you have Arch-president of the boil'd, the roast, the
heard who dines here? bak'd;
(Mogul's. Marg. I have, Sir. I would not change my empire for the great Sir G. "Tis an honourable man; I will eat often, and give thanks,
A lord, Meg, and commands a regiment When my belly's brac'd up like a drum, and Of soldiers; and, what's rare, is one himself; that's pure justice.
(Exit. A bold and understanding one: and to be Sir G. It must be so. Should the foolish | A lord and a good leader in one volume girl prove modest,
Is granted unto few, but such as rise up She may spoil all: she had it not from me, Tbe kingdom's glory.