TOM THUMB THE GREAT: A BURLESQUE TRAGEDY, IN TWO ACTS. ALTERED, FROM FIELDING, BY KANE O'HARA, Esa. REMARKS. THOUGH small in its subject, this "tragedy of tragedies" has engaged the attention of two dramatic writers: its original parent, Henry Fielding, our celebrated novelist, brought it on the Haymarket stage, in the year 1730, when it met with great success. This burlesque may be considered almost the best that ever appeared. It is, also, a proper sequel to the Duke of Buckingham's Rehearsal; as it embraces and satirises the absurdities of almost all the writers of tragedy from the period when that piece stops. The love-scenes, rage, marriage, battle, and catastrophe, are such forcible imitations of the rules observed by the tragic writers of that time, that the satire conveyed in them cannot escape the observation of any one conversant with the writers of the last century; and to those who do not compre. hend every turn of its humour, it will always appear agreeable. In Mr. O'Hara's alteration of this piece of true burlesque, he has certainly, allowing for its compression, preserved the points of the original, and presented an entertainment that maintains its credit undiminished on the stage. DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. Characters in Fielding's Original Piece, entitled, " The Tragedy of Tragedies; or, the Life and Death of Tom Thumb the Great ;" as performed at the Haymarket, 1730. KING ARTHUR, a passionate sort of King, husband to Queen Dollallolla, of MERLIN, a Conjurer, and in some sort father to Tom Thumb, NOODLE, Courtiers in place, and consequently of that party that is up- FOODLE, a Courtier that is out of place, and consequently of that party that BAILIFF, QUEEN DOLLALLOLLA, wife to King Arthur, and mother to Huncamunca; a GLUMDALCA, of the Giants, a captive Queen, beloved by the King, but in CLEORA, Mr. Mullart. Young Verhuyck. Mr. Jones. Mr. Hallam. Mr. Ayres. Mrs. Mullart. Mrs. Jones. Mrs. Dove. Courtiers, Guards, Rebels, Drums, Trumpets, Thunder and Lightning. Fielding's original, with his notes by Scriblerus Secundus, the Preface, &c. form a fund of sterling satire on the criticisms of his cotemporaries, and on the works of former writers of tragedies. Courtiers so gay, And the mob so uproarious Nature seems to wear a universal grin. Nood. Arthur to Doll Is grown bobbish and uxorious; While both she and Huncamunca tipple, talking tawdry; Even Mr. Sol, So tifted out, so glorious, [broidery. Glitters like a beau in a new birth-day em SCENE II.-Inside of the Palace. The KING and QUEEN seated on a throne. LORD GRIZZLE, Courtiers, and Attendants. DOODLE and NOODLE apart. King. Let no face but a face of joy be seen! The man, who this day frowns, shall lose his head, That he may have no face to frown withalSmile, Dollallolla! [Kisses her. Dood. [Kneeling.] Dread liege, This petition King. [Dashes it away.] Petition me no petitions, Sir, to-day; To-day it is our pleasure-to be drunk, Let's have a row, and get as drunk as tailors. What though I now am half seas o'er, Of stiff rack-punch fetch bowls a score, What though, &c. But, Sir, your queen 'twould ill become, No drop of brandy, gin, or rum, And rum and brandy be but half-a-crown, King. Haste we to meet, and meetly to receive him. [Rises from the throne; martial music. Enter TOM THUMB, Attendants, and GLUM DALCA, in chains. It shines itself, and shows thy merit too. Tommy, Tommy Thumb! what to thy prowess do we owe ! Ask some reward-great as we can bestow. Tom. I ask not kingdoms, I can conquer those; I ask not money, money I've enough: As when the chimney-swceper At night, to wash in water [Exit ;-flourish of Trumpets. King. [Looking fondly at GLUMDALCA.] I feel a sudden pain across my breast; [Aside. Nor know I whether it proceeds from love Or the wind-cholic-but time will show. Hugeous queen of hearts! [cil; Sure thou wert form'd by all the gods in counWho, having made a lucky hit beyond their journey-work, Cry'd out" This is a woman!" We are a giantess-1 tell thee, Arthur, Queen. Oh, bless'd prerogative of giantism! [Aside. King. Oh! vast queen!-Think our court thine own; Call for whate'er thou lik'st-there's nought to pay, Nor art thou captive, but thy captive we. Madam, believe that with a woman's eye row Our grenadiers shall be called out, then choose As many husbands as you think you'll want. Glum. Madam, I rest your much obliged and very humble servant. [Exit. Queen. Though greater yet Tom's boasted merit was, He shall not have my daughter, that is pos. [Advancing to the KING. King. Ha! say'st thou ? Queen. Yes, I say he sha'n't. King. How, sha'n't! SCENE 11-Changes to the outside of the Palace. Enter LORD GRIZZLE. Griz. Arthur wrongs me! Cheats me of my Huncamunca! Rouse thee, Grizzle! 'Sblood, I'll be a rebel. Alas! What art thou, honour? A Monmouth-street laced coat, gracing to-day My back; to-morrow glittering on another'sTo arms! to arms! Enter QUEEN, in a rage. Queen. Teach me to scold, O Grizzle! Griz. Scold, would my queen ?—Say, ah! wherefore ! Queen. Wherefore! Faggots and fire-my daughter to Tom Thumb! Griz. I'll mince the atom into countless pieces. Queen. Oh! no; prevent the match, but hurt not himHim!-thou !-thou kill the man Who kill'd the giants? mery: Are there not Griz. Giants-why, Madam, 'tis all flum[them. He made the giants first, and then he kill'd Queen. How! hast thou seen no giants? Now in our yard ten thousand proper giants? Griz. Madam, shall I tell you what I am going to say? I do not positively know, but, as near as I can guess, I cannot tell; though I firmly do believe there is not one. Queen. Out from my sight, base Pickthank, hie, begone! By all my stars, thou enviest Tom Thumb. Griz. Yes, yes, I go; but, Madam, know, (Since your majesty's so pert) That a flood of Tommy's blood, To allay this storm shall spirt. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-An Antichamber. The KING, on a Couch. King. Methought Now by our royal self, we swear-I'll be I heard a voice say, damn'd, but he shall, AIR.-QUEEN. Then tremble all, who weddings ever made, And tremble more who did this match per suade; For, like a worried cat, I'll spit, I'll squall, Dood. Her majesty, the queen, is in a pas- King. She may be damn'd. Who cares? We A pretty king of clouts, were we to truckle 66 Sleep no more!" Glumdalca exiles sleep-and therefore, Arthur Can sleep no more. The Ghost of GAFFER THUMB rises, with a blue lantern on a long staff. Ghost. Oh! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! Ghost. The ghost of Gaffer Thumb. Ghost. Oh, Arthur! take heed. AIR. Pale death is prowling, Dire omens, scowling, Better quite ignorant, than half instructed. Such a fine king as I don't fear your threats Do show your sweet phiz again, and I'll quickly call up a blush, For I am up, up, up, But you are down, down, down, And 'egad I'll crack your crown. Who cares for you Mr. Ghost? or all that you can do ; I laugh at your stupid threats, and your cock- For I am up, up, up, But you are down, down, down; Draw your sword like a man, [Scene closes. Enter TOM THUMB. Tom. Where is my Hancamunca? where's Where those bright eyes, the card-matches of That light up all with love my waxen soul? taper. Tom. Put out the light? impossible! Hunc. I am to Lord Grizzle promis'd. Hunc. Too sure, 'tis enter'd in fate's journal. Zounds! I'll tear out the leaf-I'll blot the I tell thee, princess, had I been thy help-mate, Hunc. O fie! I shudder at the gross idea! [Going out hand-in-hand, are met by GLUMDALCA. Glum. Stop, brandy-nose! hopest thou the wight, Who once hath worn my easy chains, will toil [in thine? Hunc. Easy, no doubt, by twenty husbands worn. Tom. In the balcony which o'erhangs the This half-a-crown doth in his fingers hold, Glum. Oh! the vixen pigmy brat, Of inches scarce half six; Tom. Little though I be, I scorn the sturdy strum; My dear from thee Shall debauch thy own Tom Thumb. Glum. Oh! the vixen, &c. ACT II. [Exeunt. Chaos is come again-all's topsy-turvy. Tom. His prowess now each prove. Griz. For liberty I stand. Tom. And I for love. [A battle between the two armies; they fight off. Enter GLUMDALCA, and meets GRIZZLE, while fighting THUMB. Glum. Turn, coward, turn! nor from a woman fly! Griz. Thou art unworthy of my arm. Have at thy heart then! [Thrusts at, but misses him. Griz. Rampant queen of sluts! Now have at thine. [Strikes. Glum. [Falling.] You've run me through the guts. Griz. Then there's an end of one. [Going. [Is met by Toм THUMB, who runs him through. Tom. An end of two, Thou hast it. [Exit. Griz. Oh, Tom Thumb! [Falls.] thy soul beshrew! [tour, I die-Ambition! the fates have made their And the black cart is waiting at the door. Enter TOM THUMB and Attendants. Tom. Bear off the carcasses; lop off his knob, "Twill witness to the king Tom Thumb's good job: Rebellion's dead, and now-I'll go to breakfast. [Exit. [Attendants lay hold of GRIZZLE. Griz. Why dost thou call me from the peace ful grave? Attend. Sir, we came to bear your body off. Griz. Then I'll bear it off myself. [Exeunt. SCENE IV.-The Presence-chamber. Enter KING, QUEEN, HUNCAMUNCA, Doodle, PLUMANTE, FRIZALETTA, and Attendants. King. Open the prisons, set the wretched free! And bid our treasurer disburse five guineas Hunc. Take note, Sir, that on this our wed ding-day Two victories hath my gallant husband won. Enter NOODle. Nood. Oh, monstrous, dreadful, terrible! oh! oh! King. What means the blockhead? Nood. But to grace my tale with decent [horror: Tom Thumb is no more! A huge red cow, larger than the largest size, just now i'the open street, Before my eyes, devour'd the great Tom Thumb! [A general groan. King. Shut, shut again the prisons : Let our treasurer Not issue out three farthings. Hang all the culprits, |