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TOM THUMB THE GREAT:

A BURLESQUE TRAGEDY,

IN TWO ACTS.

ALTERED, FROM FIELDING,

BY KANE O'HARA, Es 2.

REMARKS. THOUGH small in its subject, this “tragedy of tragedies " has engaged the attention of two dramatic writers : its original parent, Henry Fielding, our celebrated novelist, brought it on the Haymarket stage, in the year 1730, when it met with great success. This burlesque may be considered almost the best that ever appeared. It is, also, a proper sequel to the Duke of Buckingham's Rehearsal ; as it embraces and satirises the absurdities of almost all the writers of tragedy from the period when that piece stops. The love-scenes, rage, marriage, battle, and catastrophe, are such forcible imitations of the rules observed by the tragic writers of that time, that the satire conveyed in them cannot escape the observation of any one conversant with the writers of the last century :* and to those who do not compre. bend every turn of its humour, it will always appear agreeable.

In Mr. O'Hara's alteration of this piece of true burlesque, he has certainly, allowing for its compression, preserved the points of the original, and presented an entertainment that maintains its credit undiminished on the stage.

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. Characters in Fielding's Original Piece, entitled, The Tragedy of Tragedies ; or, the Life and

Death of Tom Thumb the Great ;as performed at the Haymarket, 1730. KING ARTHUR, a passionate sort of King, husband to Queen Dollallolla, of whom he stands a little in fear; father to Huncamunca, whom he is very fond of; and in love with Glumdalca,

Mr. Mullart. Tom THUMB THE GREAT, a little hero with a great soul, something violent in his temper, which is a little abated by his love for Huncamunca,

Young Verhuyck. GHOST OF GAFFER THUMB, a whimsical sort of Ghost,

Mr. Lacy. LORD GRIZZLE, extremely zealous for the liberty of the subject, very choleric in his temper, and in love with Huncamunca,

Mr. Jones. MERLIN, a Conjurer, and in some sort father to Tom Thumb,

Mr. Hallam. NOODLE, Courtiers in place, and consequently of that party that is up- Mr. Reynolds.

Mr. Wathan. Foodle, á Courtier that is out of place, and consequently of that party that is undermost,

Mr. Ayres. BAILIFF,

Mr. Peterson. FOLLOWER,? Of the party of the plaintiff,

Mr. Hicks. Parsen, of the side of the church, .

Mr. Watson, QUEEN DOLLALLOLLA, wife to King Arthur, and mother to Huncamunca; a

woman entirely faultless, saving that she is a little given to drink; a little too much a virago towards her husband, and in love with Tom Thumb, Mrs. Mullart. The Princess HONCAMUNCA, daughter to their Majesties King Arthur and

Queen Dollallolla, of a very sweet, gentle, and amorous disposition, equally in love with Lord' Grizzle and Tom Thumb, and desirons to be married to them both,

Mrs. Jones. GLUMDALCA, of the Giants, a captive Queen, beloved by the King; but it love with Tom Thumb,

Mrs. Dove.

NOODLE.
MUSTACHA, { Maids of Honour, in love with

DOODLE.
Courtiers, Guards, Rebels, Drums, Trumpets, Thunder and Lightning.

SCENE.-The Court of King Arthur, and a Plain thereabouts. Fielding's original, with his notes by Scriblerus Secundus, the Preface, &c. form a fund of sterling satire on the criticisms of his cotemporaries, and on the works of former writers of tragedies,

.

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ACT I.

To-day it is our pleasure—to be drunk,

And this our queen shall be as drunk as we. SCENE I.-A Palace Yard.

Queen. Is't so? why then perdition catch

the failers! Enter Doodle on one side of the stoge, and Noodle on the other; after a long obeisance, Let's have a row, and get as drunk as tailors. they embrace.

AIR.
DUET.

What though I now am half seas o'er,
Dood. Sure such a day,

I scorn to bulk this bout,
So renown'd, so victorious-

Of stiff rack-punch fetch bowls a score, Such a day as this was never seen;

'Fore George, I'll see them out. Courtiers so gay,

What though, &c. And the mob so uproarious Nature seems to wear a universal grin.

But, Sir, your queen 'twould ill become,

T'indulge in vulgar sips;
Nood. Arthur to Doll

No drop of brandy, gin, or ram,
Is grown bobbish and uxorious ;

Should pass these royal lips.
While both she and Huncamunca tipple, talk-

But, Sir, &c.
ing tawdry ;

Chorus.--Rum ti iddity, row, row, row,
Even Mr. Sol,
So tifted out, so glorious, [broidery.

If we'd a good sup, we'd take it now. Glitters like a beau in a new birth-day em

King. Though rack, in punch, ten shillings

were a quart, Dood. Oh, 'tis a day

And rum and brandy be but half-a-crown, Of jubilee, cajollery;

Rather than quarrel, thou shalt have thy fill. A day we never saw before ;

[Flourish of drums and trumpets. A day of fun and drollery.

Nood. These martial sounds, my liege, anNood. That you may say,

nounce the general. Their majesties may boast of it;

King. Haste we to meet, and meetly to reAnd since it never can come more,

ceive him. 'T'is fit they make the most of it.

[Rises from the throne ; martial music. Dood. Oh, 'tis a day, &c.

Enter Tom THUMB, Attendants, and GLUMNood. That you may say, &c.

DALCA, in chains.
Dood. Sure such a day, &c.
Nood. Courtiers so gay, &c.

Welcome, thrice welcome, mighty Thomas

Thumb !
Dood. Yes, Noodle, yes ;-to-day the mighty What gratitude can thank away the debt

Thou tiny hero-pigmy giant queller!
Thumb
Returns triumphant.-Captive giants swarm

Thy valour puts upon us.
Like bees behind his car.

[Takes him up and embraces him.

Queen. Oh! ye gods ! [Flourish of trumpets.

(Aside. Nood. These trumpets speak the king at

Tom. When I'm pot thank'd at all, I'm levee- I go.

thank'd enoughDood. And I also to offer my petition.

I've done my duty, and I've done no more. Nood. Doodle, do. [Exit.

[Bows.

Queen. Was ever such a godlike creature SCENE II.-Inside of the Palace.

scen? The King and Queen seated on a throne. It shines itself, and shows thy merit too.

King. Thy modesty's a flambeau to thy merit; LORD GRIZZLE, Courtiers, and Attendants.- Tommy, Tommy Thumb! what to thy proviDOODLE and NOODLE apart.

ess do we owe ! King. Let no face but a face of joy be seen! Ask some reward-great as we can bestow. The man, who this day frowns, shall lose his Tom. I ask not kingdoms, I can conquer head,

those ; That he may have no face to frown withal-- I ask not money, money I've enough : Smile, Dollallolla!

[Kisses her. If this be called a debt, take my receipt in full: Dood. [Kneeling.] Dread liege,

I ask but this, to sun myself in Huncamunca's This petition

eyes, King. (Dashes it away.) Petition me no peti- King. (Aside.) Prodigious bold request! tions, Sir, to-day;

Queen. Be still, my soul

King. [After a pause.} It is resolv'd.

AIR,-KING. The princess is thy own!

(To THUMB

We kings, who are in our senses, Tom. O happy Tommy! super-lappy Thumb

Mock our consorts violences ; Whisper, ye winds, that Huncamunca's mine

Pishing at their moods and tenses, The bloody bus'ness of grim war is o'er,

Our own will we follow. And beauty, heavenly beauty, crowns my toils.

If the husband, once gives way

To his wife's capricious sway,
Air.

For his breeches he next day
As when the chimney-swceper

May go whoop and hollow.
Has, all the live-long day,

(Ereunt.
Through darksome paths a creeper,
Pursued his sooty way:

SCENE 11.-Changes to the outside of the

Palace.
At night, to wash in water
His hands and face he flies;

Enter LORD GRIZZLE.
And, in his t'other tatter,

Griz. Arthur wrongs me !
With his Brickdusta lies.

Cheats me of

my Huncamunca! [Exit ;-flourish of Trumpets, Rouse thee, Grizzle! 'Sblood, I'll be a rebel. King. (Looking fondly at GLUMDALCA.] I feel Alas! What art thou, honour ?

a sudden pain across my breast; (Aside. A Monmouth-street laced coat, gracing to-day Nor know I whether it proceeds from love Or the wind-cholic-but time will show.- To arms!' to arms!

My back ; to-morrow glittering

on another's Hugeous queen of hearts !

(cil ; Sure thou wert form'd by all the gods in coun

Enter Queen, in a rage. Who, having made a lucky hit beyond their

Queen. Teach me to scold, () Grizzle! journey-work, Cry'd out—" This is a woman!”

Griz. Scold, would my queen ?-Say, ah!

wherefore ! Glum. Then were the gods confoundedly mistaken.

Queen. Wherefore ! We are a giantess- I tell thee, Arthur,

Faggots and fire-my daughter to Tom Thumb!

Griz. I'll mince the atom into countless We yesterday were both a queen and wife ; One hundred thousand giants own'd our sway;

pieces.

Queen. Oh! no; prevent the match, but hurt Twenty whereof were wedded to ourself. Queen. Oh, bless'd prerogative of giantism! Him !-thou !-thou kill the man

not bim(Aside.

Who kill'd the giants ! King. Oh! vast queen -Think our court thine own;

Griz. Giants !-why, Madam, 'tis all fumCall for whate'er thou lik'st—there's nought He made the giants first, and then he kill'd

mery :

[them.

Queen. How! hast thou seen no giants ? Nor art thou captive, but thy captive we.

Are there not [Takes off her chains. Now in our yard ten thousand proper giants ? Queen. (Aside.] Ha! Arthur faithless !

Griz. Madam, shall I tell you what I am This gag my rival, too, in dear Tom Thumb! Revenge-but I'll dissemble

going to say ? I do not positively know, but, Madam, believe that with a woman's eye

as near as I can guess, I cannot iell; though I view your loss-take comfort-for, to-mor

I firmly do believe there is not one.

Queen. Out from my sight, base Pickthank, Our grenadiers shall be called out, then choose By all my stars, thou enviest Tom Thumb.

hie, begone! As many husbauds as you think you'll want. Glum. Madam, I rest your much obliged

Griz. Yes, yes, I go; but, Madam, know, and very humble servant. [Erit.

(Since your majesty's so pert) Queen. Though greater yet Tun's boasted

That a flood of Tommy's blood, merit was,

To allay this storm shall spirt. He shall not bave my daughter, that is pos.

(Exeunt. (Advancing to the King. SCENE III.-- An Antichamber. King. Ha! say'st thou ? Queen. Yes, I say he sha'n't.

The King, on a Couch: King. How, sha'n't !

King. Methought Now by our royal self, we swear-I'll be I heard a voice say, “ Sleep no more !". damn'd, but he shall,

Glumdalca exiles sleep-and therefore, Arthur

Can sleep no more.
AIR.-QUEEN.

The Ghost of GAFFER THUMB rises, with a blue Then tremble all, who weddings ever made,

lantern on a long staff: And tremble more who did this match persuade;

Ghost. Ob! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur! For, like a worried cat, l'll spit, I'll squall,

Soon shalt thou sleep enough. I'll scratch, I'll tear the eyes out of ye all.

King. Ah! what art thou? [The King throus his hat at the Queen.

Ghost. The ghost of Gaffer Thumb. [Exeunt Queen and LADIES.

King. A ghost !-Stand off!

I'll have thee laid in the Red Sea. Dood. Her majesty, the queen, is in a pas- Ghost. Oh, Arthur! take heed. sion.

My thread is spun--list, list, oh, list ! King. She may be damn'd. Who cares? We were indeed

AIR, A pretty king of clouts, were we to trucklo

Pale death is prowling, To all her inaudlin humours.

Dire omens, scowling,

to pay,

row

Doom thee to slaughter,

I now could leap over the moon, Thee, thy wife, and daughter.

Let the chaplain
Furies are growling,

Set us grap'ling,
With horrid groans:

And we'll stock a baby-house soon.
Grizzle's rebellion,

Hunc. Oh! What need I tell you on?

Griz. Ah!

(Exit. Or by a red cow, Tom Thumb devoured ?

Enter Tom THUMB.
Hark! the cock crowing. [Cock crows.
I must be going,

Tom. Where is my Hancamunca? where's
I can no more.

[Vanishes.

my princess

Where those bright eyes, the card-matches of King. No more! and why no more, or why Cupid, so much?

That light up all with love my waxen soul? Better quite ignorant, than half instructed. Hunc. Put out the light, nor waste thy little By Jove, this bo-peep ghost makes game of us;

taper. Therefore, Fate, keep your secret to yourself. Tom. Put out the light? impossible!

As well Sir Solonion might put out his rushAIR.

light. Such a fine king as I don't fear your threats Hunc. I am to Lord Grizzle promis'd. of a rush,

Tom, Promis'd! Do show your sweet pbiz again, and I'll quick- Hunc. Too sure, 'tis enter'd in fate's journal. ly call up a blush,

Tom. Enter'd.
For I am up, up, up,

Zounds! I'll tear out the leaf-I'll blot the
But you are down, down, down,

page-I'll burn the book. Do pop up your pob again,

I tell thee, princess, had I been thy help-mate, And’egad I'll crack your crown.

We soon had peopled this whole reali with Who cares for you Mr. Ghost? or all that you

Thumbs. can do ;

Hunc. O fie! I shudder at the gross idea! I laugh at your stupid threats, and your cock- Tom. Then go we to the king-let him decide, a-doodle do;

(Cock crows. Whether you shall be Grizzle's or my bride. For I am up, up, up,

[Going out hand-in-hand, are met by But you are down, down, down;

GLUMDALCA.
Draw your sword like a man,

Glum. Stop, brandy-nose! hopest thou the
Or I'll box you for a crown.

twight,

[in thine? Rum ti iddity, &c. [Scene closes. Who once hath worn my easy chains, will toii

Hunc. Easy, no doubt, by twenty husbands SCENE IV.-HUNCAMUNCA's Dressing Room.

worn.

Tom. In the balcony which o'erhangs the HUNCAMUNCA at her toilette, FRIZALETTA

stage, waiting.

I've seen one wench two 'prentices engage: Hunc. Give me some music,-see that it be This half-a-crown doth in his fingers hold, sad.

[Band pluys a strain. That just lets peep a little bit of gold. Oh, Tommy Thumb! why art thou Tommy Miss, the half-guinea wisely doth purloin, Thumb ?

And scorns the bigger, and the baser, coin. Why had not mighty Bantam been thy father? Why not the king of Brentford, old or new ?

Trio.
Friz. Madam, Lord Grizzle.

Glum. Oh! the vixen pigmy brat,
Enter LORD GRizzle.

of inches scarce half six ; Griz. (Kneeling.) Oh, Huncamunca! Hunca

To slight me for a chit like that,

Ah! Mr. Tom, are these your tricks? munca, oh! Hunc. This to my rank,-bold man!

Hunc. Oh! the coarse salacious trull, Griz. Ah, beauteous princess!

Who giant paramours twice ten Love levels rank,-lords down to cellar bears,

To bed can pull, And bids the brawny porter walk up stairs.-

With hugs can lull, Nought is for love too high, nor aught too

Yet still would gull
low-

Young gentlemen.
Ob, Huncamunca! Huncamunca, oh !
Ilunc. My lord, in vain, a-suitoring you come,

Tom. Little though I be,
For I'm engaged this instant to Tom Thumb.

I scorn the sturdy strum; Griz. Play not the fool! that less than baby

Nor ever she, shun,

My dear from thee Or you will ne'er be brought to bed of one.

Sball debauch thy own Tom Thumb. Hunc. Am I thus fobb’d?-then I my words

Glum. Oh! the vixen, &c. recal.

Hunc. Oh! the coarse, &c. Griz. Shall I to Doctors' Commons ?

Tom. Little though I be, &c. (Exeunt,
Hunc. Do so, pray-
I now am in the mood, and cannot stay.

ACT II.
AIR.-GRIZZLE.

SCENE I.-The Court of the Paluce.
In hurry post haste for a license,
In hurry ding dong I come back;

Enter NOODLE.
For that you sha'n't need bid'me iwice hence,
I'll be there, and here, in a crack.

Nood. Sure, Nature means to unbinge the
Hey ting,

solid globe! My heart's on the wing,

Chaos is come again-all's topsy-turvy.

[graphic]
[graphic]
[graphic]

the guts.

nerves

AIR.

Tom. His prowess now each prove. King Arthur in love ancle deep-speed the

Griz. For liberty I stand. plough,

Tom. And I for love. Glumdalca will soon be his punk-a ;

[A battle between the two armies; they The Queen Dollallolla's as drunk as a sow,

fight off In bed with Tom Thumb, Huncamunca.

Enter GLUMDALCA, and meets Grizzle, while Enter LORD GRIZZLE, hastily.

fighting THUMB.

Glum. Turn, coward, turn! nor from a Griz. If this be true, all women kind are

woman fly! damn'd.

Griz. Thou art unworthy of my arm. Nood. If it be not, may I be damn'd myself. Glum. Am I?

(Exit. Have at thy heart then ! Griz, Then, get out, patience ! oh, I'm whirl

[Thrusts at, but misses him. wind all;

Griz. Rampant queen of sluts! Havoc, let loose the dogs of war, halloo ! Now have at thine.

(Strikts. [Exit. Glum. (Falling.] You've run me ihrough SCENE II.-A Chamber in the Palace.

Griz. Then there's an end of one. [Going. Enter QUEEN.

[Is met by Tom THUMB, who runs hiin

through.Queen. Ah! wherefore from his Dollallolla's

Tom. An end of two, Doth Arthur steal ? Why all alone, [arms

Thou hast it.

[Exit. And in the dark, leave her, whose feeble Griz. Oh, Tom Thumb! [Falls.] thy soul

(spirits ?
beshrew !

(tour, He knows are harrow'd up with fears of I die..Ambition! the fates bave made their

And the black cart is waiting at the door. Enter KING.

Air. King. We bop'd the fumes, sweet queen, of last night's punch,

My body is a bankrupt's shop, Had glued thy lovely eyes ; but, ah! we find

My cruel creditor, grim Death; There is no power in drams to quiet wives.

Who puts to life's brisk trade a stop,

And will be paid with my last
Enter NOODLE.

breath.-
Oh! Oh! Oh!

[Dies. Nood. Long life to both your majesties,-if life

Enter Tom THUMB and Attendants. Be worth a fig-Lord Grizzle, at the head

Tom. Bear off the carcasses ; lop off his knob, Ofa rebellious rout, invests the palace ; "Twill witness to the king Tom Thumb's good He swears-unless the princess straight

job: Be yielded up, with Tom Thumb's pate, Rebellion's dead, and now -I'll go to breakfast. About your ears he will beat down the gate.

[Exit. King. The devil he will !-but see the prip

[Attendants lay hold of Grizzle. cess!

Griz. Why dost thou call me from the peace

ful grave ? Enter HUNCAMUNCA.

Attend. Sir, we came to bear your body off.

Griz. Then I'll bear it off myself. [Ereunt. Say, where's the mighty Thumb, our sword and buckler ?

(gods : SCENE IV.-The Presence-chumber. Though 'gainst us men and giants league with Yet Thumb alone is equal to more odds.

Enter King, Queen, HUNCAMUNCA, Doodle, Hunc. About an hour and a half ago

PLUMANTE, FRIZALETTA, and Attendants. Toni sallied forth to meet the foe, And soon, who's who, he'll make them know. King. Open the prisons, set the wretched

free ! King. Oh! oh! Come, Dollallolla : Huncamunca, come ;

And bid our treasurer disburse five guineas Within, we'll wait in wbole skins for Tom To pay their debts.-Let our arch necromancer, Thumb.

[Exeunt. Sage Merlin, straight attend us :-we the while

Will view the triumph of our son-in-law.
SCENE III.-A Plain.

Hunc. Take note, Sir, that on this our wed.

ding-day Enter LORD GRrzzle, Noodle, and Rebels. Two victories hath my gallant husband won. [4 March.)

Enter NOODLE. Griz. Thus far with victory our arms are Nood. Oh, monstrous, dreadful, terrible! crown'd;

[found

oh ! oh! For, though we have not fought, yet have we King. What means the blockhead ? No enemy to fight withal.

Nood. But to grace my tale with decent [Drums and Trumpets. Tom Thumb is no more!

(horror :

A huge red cow, larger than the largest size, Enter THUMB, DOODLE, and Soldiers.

just now i'the open street, Tom. Art thou the man, whom men fam's Before my eyes, devour'd the great Tom Grizzle call ?

Thumb !

[A general groun. Griz. Art thou the much more fam'd Tom King. Shut, shut again the prisons : Thumb the small ?

Let our treasurer Tom. The same.

Not issue out three farthings. Hang all the Griz, The same.

culprits,

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