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TOM THUMB THE GREAT:

A BURLESQUE TRAGEDY,

IN TWO ACTS.

ALTERED, FROM FIELDING,

BY KANE O'HARA, Esa.

REMARKS.

THOUGH small in its subject, this "tragedy of tragedies" has engaged the attention of two dramatic writers: its original parent, Henry Fielding, our celebrated novelist, brought it on the Haymarket stage, in the year 1730, when it met with great success. This burlesque may be considered almost the best that ever appeared. It is, also, a proper sequel to the Duke of Buckingham's Rehearsal; as it embraces and satirises the absurdities of almost all the writers of tragedy from the period when that piece stops. The love-scenes, rage, marriage, battle, and catastrophe, are such forcible imitations of the rules observed by the tragic writers of that time, that the satire conveyed in them cannot escape the observation of any one conversant with the writers of the last century; and to those who do not compre. hend every turn of its humour, it will always appear agreeable.

In Mr. O'Hara's alteration of this piece of true burlesque, he has certainly, allowing for its compression, preserved the points of the original, and presented an entertainment that maintains its credit undiminished on the stage.

DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.

Characters in Fielding's Original Piece, entitled, " The Tragedy of Tragedies; or, the Life and Death of Tom Thumb the Great ;" as performed at the Haymarket, 1730.

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KING ARTHUR, a passionate sort of King, husband to Queen Dollallolla, of
whom he stands a little in fear; father to Huncamunca, whom he is very
fond of; and in love with Glumdalca,
TOM THUMB THE GREAT, a little hero with a great soul, something violent in
his temper, which is a little abated by his love for Huncamunca,
GHOST OF GAFFER THUMB, a whimsical sort of Ghost,
LORD GRIZZLE, extremely zealous for the liberty of the subject, very choleric
in his temper, and in love with Huncamunca,

MERLIN, a Conjurer, and in some sort father to Tom Thumb,

NOODLE, Courtiers in place, and consequently of that party that is up-
DOODLE, permost,

FOODLE, a Courtier that is out of place, and consequently of that party that
is undermost,

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BAILIFF,
Of the party of the plaintiff,
FOLLOWER,
PARSON, of the side of the church, .

QUEEN DOLLALLOLLA, wife to King Arthur, and mother to Huncamunca; a
woman entirely faultless, saving that she is a little given to drink; a little
too much a virago towards her husband, and in love with Tom Thumb,
The PRINCESS HUNCAMUNCA, daughter to their Majesties King Arthur and
Queen Dollallolla, of a very sweet, gentle, and amorous disposition, equally
in love with Lord Grizzle and Tom Thumb, and desirous to be married
to them both,

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GLUMDALCA, of the Giants, a captive Queen, beloved by the King, but in
love with Tom Thumb,
MUSTACHA, Maids of Honour, in love with

CLEORA,

Mr. Mullart.

Young Verhuyck.
Mr. Lacy.

Mr. Jones.

Mr. Hallam.
Mr. Reynolds.
Mr. Wathan.

Mr. Ayres.
Mr. Peterson.
Mr. Hicks.
Mr. Watson.

Mrs. Mullart.

Mrs. Jones.

Mrs. Dove.

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Courtiers, Guards, Rebels, Drums, Trumpets, Thunder and Lightning.
SCENE.-The Court of King Arthur, and a Plain thereabouts.

Fielding's original, with his notes by Scriblerus Secundus, the Preface, &c. form a fund of sterling satire on the criticisms of his cotemporaries, and on the works of former writers of tragedies.

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Courtiers so gay,

And the mob so uproarious

Nature seems to wear a universal grin.

Nood. Arthur to Doll

Is grown bobbish and uxorious; While both she and Huncamunca tipple, talking tawdry;

Even Mr. Sol,

So tifted out, so glorious,

[broidery.

Glitters like a beau in a new birth-day em

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SCENE II.-Inside of the Palace. The KING and QUEEN seated on a throne. LORD GRIZZLE, Courtiers, and Attendants. DOODLE and NOODLE apart.

King. Let no face but a face of joy be seen! The man, who this day frowns, shall lose his head,

That he may have no face to frown withalSmile, Dollallolla! [Kisses her.

Dood. [Kneeling.] Dread liege, This petition

King. [Dashes it away.] Petition me no petitions, Sir, to-day;

To-day it is our pleasure-to be drunk,
And this our queen shall be as drunk as we.
Queen. Is't so? why then perdition catch
the failers!

Let's have a row, and get as drunk as tailors.
AIR.

What though I now am half seas o'er,
I scorn to bulk this bout,

Of stiff rack-punch fetch bowls a score,
'Fore George, I'll see them out.

What though, &c.

But, Sir, your queen 'twould ill become,
T'indulge in vulgar sips;

No drop of brandy, gin, or rum,
Should pass these royal lips.
But, Sir, &c.
Chorus.-Rum ti iddity, row, row, row,
If we'd a good sup, we'd take it now.
King. Though rack, in punch, ten shillings
were a quart,

And rum and brandy be but half-a-crown,
Rather than quarrel, thou shalt have thy fill.
[Flourish of drums and trumpets.
Nood. These martial sounds, my liege, an-
nounce the general.

King. Haste we to meet, and meetly to receive him.

[Rises from the throne; martial music. Enter TOM THUMB, Attendants, and GLUM

DALCA, in chains.

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It shines itself, and shows thy merit too.
King. Thy modesty's a flambeau to thy merit;

Tommy, Tommy Thumb! what to thy prowess do we owe !

Ask some reward-great as we can bestow. Tom. I ask not kingdoms, I can conquer

those;

I ask not money, money I've enough:
If this be called a debt, take my receipt in full:
I ask but this, to sun myself in Huncamunca's

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As when the chimney-swceper
Has, all the live-long day,
Through darksome paths a creeper,
Pursued his sooty way:

At night, to wash in water
His hands and face he flies;
And, in his t'other tatter,
With his Brickdusta lies.

[Exit ;-flourish of Trumpets. King. [Looking fondly at GLUMDALCA.] I feel a sudden pain across my breast; [Aside. Nor know I whether it proceeds from love Or the wind-cholic-but time will show. Hugeous queen of hearts! [cil; Sure thou wert form'd by all the gods in counWho, having made a lucky hit beyond their journey-work,

Cry'd out" This is a woman!"
Glum. Then were the gods confoundedly
mistaken.

We are a giantess-1 tell thee, Arthur,
We yesterday were both a queen and wife;
One hundred thousand giants own'd our sway;
Twenty whereof were wedded to ourself.

Queen. Oh, bless'd prerogative of giantism! [Aside. King. Oh! vast queen!-Think our court thine own;

Call for whate'er thou lik'st-there's nought

to pay,

Nor art thou captive, but thy captive we.
[Takes off her chains.
Queen. [Aside.] Ha! Arthur faithless!
This gag my rival, too, in dear Tom Thumb!
Revenge!-but I'll dissemble-

Madam, believe that with a woman's eye
I view your loss-take comfort-for, to-mor-

row

Our grenadiers shall be called out, then choose As many husbands as you think you'll want. Glum. Madam, I rest your much obliged and very humble servant. [Exit. Queen. Though greater yet Tom's boasted merit was,

He shall not have my daughter, that is pos. [Advancing to the KING.

King. Ha! say'st thou ?

Queen. Yes, I say he sha'n't.

King. How, sha'n't!

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SCENE 11-Changes to the outside of the Palace.

Enter LORD GRIZZLE.

Griz. Arthur wrongs me! Cheats me of my Huncamunca! Rouse thee, Grizzle! 'Sblood, I'll be a rebel. Alas! What art thou, honour? A Monmouth-street laced coat, gracing to-day My back; to-morrow glittering on another'sTo arms! to arms!

Enter QUEEN, in a rage.

Queen. Teach me to scold, O Grizzle! Griz. Scold, would my queen ?—Say, ah! wherefore !

Queen. Wherefore!

Faggots and fire-my daughter to Tom Thumb! Griz. I'll mince the atom into countless pieces.

Queen. Oh! no; prevent the match, but hurt not himHim!-thou !-thou kill the man Who kill'd the giants?

mery:

Are there not

Griz. Giants-why, Madam, 'tis all flum[them. He made the giants first, and then he kill'd Queen. How! hast thou seen no giants? Now in our yard ten thousand proper giants? Griz. Madam, shall I tell you what I am going to say? I do not positively know, but, as near as I can guess, I cannot tell; though I firmly do believe there is not one.

Queen. Out from my sight, base Pickthank, hie, begone! By all my stars, thou enviest Tom Thumb. Griz. Yes, yes, I go; but, Madam, know, (Since your majesty's so pert) That a flood of Tommy's blood, To allay this storm shall spirt. [Exeunt.

SCENE III.-An Antichamber.

The KING, on a Couch.

King. Methought

Now by our royal self, we swear-I'll be I heard a voice say,

damn'd, but he shall,

AIR.-QUEEN.

Then tremble all, who weddings ever made, And tremble more who did this match per

suade;

For, like a worried cat, I'll spit, I'll squall,
I'll scratch, I'll tear the eyes out of ye all.
[The KING throws his hat at the QUEEN.
[Exeunt QUEEN and LADIES.

Dood. Her majesty, the queen, is in a pas-
sion.

King. She may be damn'd. Who cares? We
were indeed

A pretty king of clouts, were we to truckle
To all her maudlin humours.

66 Sleep no more!"

Glumdalca exiles sleep-and therefore, Arthur Can sleep no more.

The Ghost of GAFFER THUMB rises, with a blue lantern on a long staff.

Ghost. Oh! Arthur! Arthur! Arthur!
Soon shalt thou sleep enough.
King. Ah! what art thou?

Ghost. The ghost of Gaffer Thumb.
King. A ghost!-Stand off!
I'll have thee laid in the Red Sea.

Ghost. Oh, Arthur! take heed.
My thread is spun-list, list, oh, list!

AIR.

Pale death is prowling, Dire omens, scowling,

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Better quite ignorant, than half instructed.
By Jove, this bo-peep ghost makes game of us;
Therefore, Fate, keep your secret to yourself.
AIR.

Such a fine king as I don't fear your threats
of a rush,

Do show your sweet phiz again, and I'll quickly call up a blush,

For I am up, up, up,

But you are down, down, down,
Do pop up your nob again,

And 'egad I'll crack your crown.

Who cares for you Mr. Ghost? or all that you

can do ;

I laugh at your stupid threats, and your cock-
a-doodle do;
[Cock crows.

For I am up, up, up,

But you are down, down, down;

Draw your sword like a man,
Or I'll box you for a crown.
Rum ti iddity, &c.

[Scene closes.

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Enter TOM THUMB.

Tom. Where is my Hancamunca? where's
my princess?

Where those bright eyes, the card-matches of
Cupid,

That light up all with love my waxen soul?
Hunc. Put out the light, nor waste thy little

taper.

Tom. Put out the light? impossible!
As well Sir Solomon might put out his rush-
light.

Hunc. I am to Lord Grizzle promis'd.
Tom. Promis'd!

Hunc. Too sure, 'tis enter'd in fate's journal.
Tom. Enter'd.

Zounds! I'll tear out the leaf-I'll blot the
page-I'll burn the book.

I tell thee, princess, had I been thy help-mate,
We soon had peopled this whole realin with
Thumbs.

Hunc. O fie! I shudder at the gross idea!
Tom. Then go we to the king-let him decide,
Whether you shall be Grizzle's or my bride.

[Going out hand-in-hand, are met by GLUMDALCA.

Glum. Stop, brandy-nose! hopest thou the wight, Who once hath worn my easy chains, will toil [in thine? Hunc. Easy, no doubt, by twenty husbands

worn.

Tom. In the balcony which o'erhangs the
stage,

This half-a-crown doth in his fingers hold,
I've seen one wench two 'prentices engage:
That just lets peep a little bit of gold.
Miss, the half-guinea wisely doth purloin,
And scorns the bigger, and the baser, coin.
TRIO.

Glum. Oh! the vixen pigmy brat,

Of inches scarce half six;
To slight me for a chit like that,
Ah! Mr. Tom, are these your tricks?
Hunc. Oh! the coarse salacious trull,
Who giant paramours twice ten
To bed can pull,
With hugs can lull,
Yet still would gull
Young gentlemen.

Tom. Little though I be,

I scorn the sturdy strum;
Nor ever she,

My dear from thee

Shall debauch thy own Tom Thumb.

Glum. Oh! the vixen, &c.
Hunc. Oh! the coarse, &c.
Tom. Little though I be, &c.

ACT II.

[Exeunt.

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Chaos is come again-all's topsy-turvy.

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Tom. His prowess now each prove. Griz. For liberty I stand.

Tom. And I for love.

[A battle between the two armies; they fight off.

Enter GLUMDALCA, and meets GRIZZLE, while fighting THUMB.

Glum. Turn, coward, turn! nor from a woman fly!

Griz. Thou art unworthy of my arm.
Glum. Am I?

Have at thy heart then!

[Thrusts at, but misses him. Griz. Rampant queen of sluts! Now have at thine.

[Strikes.

Glum. [Falling.] You've run me through the guts.

Griz. Then there's an end of one. [Going. [Is met by Toм THUMB, who runs him through.

Tom. An end of two,

Thou hast it.

[Exit.

Griz. Oh, Tom Thumb! [Falls.] thy soul

beshrew!

[tour, I die-Ambition! the fates have made their And the black cart is waiting at the door.

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Enter TOM THUMB and Attendants. Tom. Bear off the carcasses; lop off his knob, "Twill witness to the king Tom Thumb's good job:

Rebellion's dead, and now-I'll go to breakfast. [Exit. [Attendants lay hold of GRIZZLE. Griz. Why dost thou call me from the peace

ful grave?

Attend. Sir, we came to bear your body off. Griz. Then I'll bear it off myself. [Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-The Presence-chamber.

Enter KING, QUEEN, HUNCAMUNCA, Doodle, PLUMANTE, FRIZALETTA, and Attendants.

King. Open the prisons, set the wretched free!

And bid our treasurer disburse five guineas
To pay their debts. Let our arch necromancer,
Sage Merlin, straight attend us :—we the while'
Will view the triumph of our son-in-law.

Hunc. Take note, Sir, that on this our wed

ding-day

Two victories hath my gallant husband won. Enter NOODle.

Nood. Oh, monstrous, dreadful, terrible! oh! oh!

King. What means the blockhead? Nood. But to grace my tale with decent [horror: Tom Thumb is no more! A huge red cow, larger than the largest size, just now i'the open street, Before my eyes, devour'd the great Tom Thumb! [A general groan. King. Shut, shut again the prisons : Let our treasurer

Not issue out three farthings. Hang all the

culprits,

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