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but still your intended alliance with lord Lum-jearthly happiness, depend on my Constantia. bercourt
[Erit. Eger. Oh! contemptible! a trifling, quaint, Sid. Poor Charles ! he little dreams that I debauched, voluptuous, servile fool; the meré love Constantia too; but to what degree I lackey of party and corruption; who for a mean, knew not myself, till he importuned me to slavish, factious prostitution of near thirty join their handsYes, I love, but must not be years, and the ruin of a noble fortune, has had a rival; for he is as dear to me as fraternal the despicable satisfaction, and the infamous fondness—My benefactor, my friend! honour, of being kicked up and kicked down -kicked in and kicked out-just as the inso
Enter Betty, running up to him. lence, compassion, or the conveniency of lead- Bet. I beg your worship’s pardon for my iners predominated; and now-being forsaken trusion; I hope I do not disturb your reveby all parties,-his whole political consequence rence. amounts to the power of franking a letter, and Sid. Not in the least, Mrs. Betty. the right honourable privilege of not paying a Bet. I humbly beg pardon, Sir;—but --Itradesman's bill.
I wanted to break my mind to your honour Sed. Well, but dear Charles, you are not to about a-a-a scruple-that-that lies upon wed my lord, but his daughter.
my conscience--and indeed I should not have Eger. Who is as disagreeable for a com- presumed to trouble you—but that I know you panion, as her father is for a friend or an are my young master's friend, and my old ally,
master's friend, and my lady's friend, and inSid. [Laughing.) What, her Scotch accent, deed a friend to the whole family-for to give I suppose, offends you?
you your due, Sir, you are as good a preacher Eger. No ;-upon my honour—not in the as ever went into a pulpit. least. I think it entertaining in her—but were Sid. Ha! ha! ha! do you think so, Mrs. it otherwise-in decency-and indeed in na- Betty ? tional affection (being a Scotsman myself) I Bét. Ay, in troth do I—and as good a gencan have no objection to her on that account- tleman too as ever came into a family, and one besides, she is my near relation.
that never gives a servant a hard word; por Sid. So I understand. But, pray, Charles, that does any one an ill turn-neither behind how came Lady Rodolpha, who I find was one's back, nor before one's face. born in England, to be bred in Scotland ? Sid. Ha! ha! ha! Why you are a mighty
Eger. From the dotage of an old, formal, well-spoken woman, Mrs. Betty; and I am obstinate, stiff, rich, Scotch grandmother; who mightily beholden to you for your good characupon a promise of leaving this grandchild all her ter of me. fortane, would have the girl sent to her to Scot- Bet. Indeed, Sir, it is no more than you deland, when she was but a year old;
and there serve, and what all the servants say of you. has she been bred up ever since, with this old Sid. I am much obliged to them, Mrs. Betty. lady, in all the vanity, splendour, and unlimit. But pray what are your commands with me? ed indulgence, that fondness and admiration Bét. Why, I will tell your reverence-to be could bestow on a spoiled child, a fancied sure I am but a servant, as a body may say; beauty, and a pretended wit. And is this a and every tub should stand upon its own botwoman fit to make my happiness? this, the tom-butpartner Sidney would recommend me for life? (She takes hold of him familiarly, looking to you, who best know me, I appeal.
first atout very cautiously, and speaks Sid. Why, Charles, it is a delicate point, unfit 'in a low familiar tone of great sccrecy. for me to determine—besides, your father has My young master is now in the china-roomset his heart upon the match
in close conference with Miss Constantia. I Fger. All that I know-But still I ask and know what they are about-but that is no busiinsist upon your candid judgment-Is she ness of mine—and therefore I made bold to the kind of woman that you think could possi- listen a little, because you know, Sir, one bly contribute to my happiness? I beg you would be sure-before one took away any will give me an explicit answer.
body's reputation. Sid. The subject is disagreeable
but since Sid. Very true, Mrs. Betty-very true, inI must speak, I do not think she is.
deed. Eger. I know you do not; and I am sure Bet. Oh! heavens forbid that I should take you never will advise the match.
away any young woman's good name, unless I Sid. I never did I never will.
had a reason for it-but, Sir—if I am in this Eger. You make me happy_which I assure place alive-as I listened with my ear close to you I never could be, with your judgment the door, I heard my young master ask Miss against me in this point.
Constantia the plain marriage question-Upon Sid. But pray, Charles, suppose I had been which I started I trembled-nay, my very so indiscreet as to have agreed to marry you conscience stirred within me so- that I could to Constantia, would she have consented, not help peeping through the keyhole. think yon?
Sid. Ha! ha! ha! and so your conscience Eger. That I cannot say positively; but I made you peep through the keyhole, Mrs. suppose so.
Betty! Sid. Did you never speak to her then upon Bet. It did indeed, your reverence. And that subject?
there I saw my young master upon his knees Eger. In general terms only: never directly Lord bless us! kissing her hand, as if he requested her consent in form. But I will this would eat it! and protesting and assuring her very moment--for I have no asylum from my he knew that your worship would consent to father's arbitrary design, but by Constantia's the match. And then the tears ran down her arms.--Pray do not stir' from hence. I will cheeks as fastreturn instantly. I know she will submit to Sid. Ay! your advice, and I am sure you will persuade Bet, They did indeed, Sir;-I would not tell her to my wish ; as my life, my peace, my your reverence a lie for the world.
Sid. I believe it, Mrs. Betty. And what did though I am sure to lose the man whom I inConstantia say to all this?
tend to serve.
[Exit. Bet. Oh! oh! she is sly enough-She looks as if butter would not melt in her mouth—but
ACT II. all is not gold that glitters-smooth water, you know, runs deepest. I am sorry, very
SCENE I.-A Library. sorry indeed—my young master makes himself such a fool-but-um ! ha!
Enter EGERTON and CONSTANTIA. word for it, he is not the man--for though she Con. Mr. Sidney is not here, Sir. looks as modest as a maid at a christening- Eger. I assure you 1 left him here, and I yet-a-when sweethearts meet-in the dusk begged that he would stay till I returned. of the evening--and stay together a whole Con. His prudence, you see, Sir, has made hour—in the dark grove-and-a-aha! em- him retire; therefore we had better defer the brace—and kiss-and-weep at parting—why subject till he is present-In the meantime, then--then you know-ah! it is easy to guess Sir, I hope you will permit me to mention an all the rest.
affair that has greatly alarmed and perplexed Sid. Why, did Constantia meet any body in me. I suppose you guess what it is? this manner
Eger. I do not, upon my word ! Bet. Oh ! heavens ! I beg your worship will Con. That's a little strange You know, Sir, not misapprehend me! for I assure you, I do that you and Mr. Sidney did me the honour not believe they did any harm-that is, not in of breakfasting with me this morning in my the grove at least, not when I was there-little study. and she may be honestly married, for aught I Eger. We had that happiness, Madam. know-She may be rery honest, for aught I Con. Just after you left me, upon my.openknow-heaven forbid I should say any harm ing my book of accounts, which lay in the of her-I only say—that they did meet in the drawer of the reading desk, to my great surdark walk-and perhaps nine months hence- prise-I there found this case of jewels, conay, remember, Sir-I said that-a-certain taining a most elegant pair of ear-rings, a person in this family-nine months hence- necklace of great value, and two bank-bills, may ask me to stand godmother-only remem- in this pocket-book; the mystery of which, ber-for I think I know what's what-when I Sir, I presume you can explain. see it, as well as another.
Eger. I can. Sid. No doubt you do, Mrs. Betty.
Con. They were of your conveying, then? Bet. I do indeed, Sir; and so your servant, Eger. They were,
Madam. Sir ; [Going, returns.] but I hope your wor- Con. I assure you, they startled and alarmed ship will not mention my name in this business ;-or that you had any item from me
Eger. I hope it was a kind alarm, such as about it.
blushing virtue feels, when with her' hand she Sid. I shall not, Mrs. Betty,
gives her heart-and last consent. Bet. For indeed, Sir, I am no busy body, Con. It was not, indeed, Sir. nor do I love fending or proving--and I assure
Eger. Do not say so, Constantia-come, be you, Sir, I hate all
tittling and tattling—and kind at once ; my peace and worldly bliss degossiping, and backbiting—and taking away pend upon this moment. a person's character.
Con. 'What would you have me do? Sid. I observe you do, Mrs. Betty.
Eger. What love and virtue dictate. Bet. I do, indeed, Sir ;-I am the furthest
Con. Oh! Sir-experience but too severely from it of any person in the world.
proves that such unequal matches as ours Sid. I dare say you are.
never produced aught but contempt and anger Bet. I am, indeed, Sir; and so, Sir, your in parents, censure from the world—and a humble servant.
long train of sorrow and repentance in the Sid. Your servant, Mrs. Betty.
wretched parties, which is but too often enBet, So! I see he believes every word I say; tailed upon their hapless issue. that's charming-I will do her business for
Eger. But that, Constantia, cannot be our her, I am resolved.
[Aside; exit. condition ; for
my fortune is independent and Sid. What can this ridiculous creature mean ample, equal to luxury and splendid folly; -by her dark
walk ?- I see envy is as malig- have the right to choose the partner of my nant in a paltry waiting wench, as in the heart. vainest, or the most ambitious, lady of the
Con. But I have not, Sir-I am a dependent court. 'It is always an infallible mark of the on my lady-a poor, forsaken, helpless orphan. basest nature ; and merit, in the lowest as in Your benevolent mother found me, took me to the highest station, must feel the shafts of her bosom, and there supplied my parental envy's constant agents--falsehood and slander. loss with every tender care, indulgent dal
liance, and with all the sweet persuasion that Enter Sam,
maternal fondness, religious precept, polished Sam. Sir, Mr. Egerton and Miss Constantia manners, and hourly example, could adminis. desire to speak with you in the china-room. ter. She fostered me; (Weeps.) and shall i
Sid. Very well, Sam. [Exit Sam.] I will now turn viper, and with black ingratitude not see them--what's to be done?-inform his sting the tender' heart that thus has cherished father of his intended marriage-no;—that me? Shall I seduce her house's heir, and kill must not be--for the overbearing temper and her peace? No-though I loved to the mad ambitious policy of Sir Pertinax would exceed extreme of female fondness; though every all bounds of moderation. But this young worldly bliss that woman's vanity or man's man must not marry Constantia—I know it ambition could desire, followed the indulgence will offend him—no matter. It is our duty to of my love, and all the contempt and misery offend, when the offence saves the man we of this life the denial of that indulgence, love from a precipitate action.— Yes, I must would discharge my duty to my benefactress, discharge the duty of my function and a friend, my earthly guardian, my more than parent.
Eger. My dear Constantia! Your prudence, , are a fine fellow---what have ye to say for your gratitude, and the cruel virtue of your yoursal-are not ye a fine spark? are ye not a self-denial, do but increase my love, my admi- fine spark, I say?-ah! you're aration, and my misery.
would not come up till the levee? Cor. Sir, I must beg you will give me leave Eger. Sir, I beg your pardon-but-1-1-I to return these bills and jewels.
was not very well;besides—I did not Eger. Pray do not mention them; sure my think that-that my presence there was neceskindness and esteem may be indulged so far, sary. without suspicion or reproach-I beg you will Sir P. Sir, it was necessary-I tauld ye it accept of them; nay, I insist
was necessary-and, Sir-I must now tell Con. I have done, Sir,-my station here is to ye, that the whole tenor of your conduct is obey-I know they are gifts of a virtuous most offensive. mind, and mine shall convert them to the ten- Eger. I am sorry you think so, Sir. I am derest and most grateful use.
sure I do not intend to offend you. Eger. Hark! I hear a carriage-it is my fa- Sir P. (In anger.) I care not what ye intend ther? dear girl, coinpose yourself-I will con- --Sir, I iell ye, ye do offend-What is the salt Sidney and my lady; by their judgment meaning of this conduct?-neglect the levee ! we will be directed ;-will that satisfy you? —'Sdeeth! Sir, your-what is your reason, I
Con. I can have no will but my lady's; with say, for thus neglecting the levee, and disyour leave, I will retire-I would not see her obeying my commands? in this confusion.
Eger. Sir, I own-I am not used to levees; Eger. Dear girl, adieu! (Exit CONSTANTIA. -nor do I know how to dispose of myself
nor what to say or do, in such a situation. Enter Sam.
Sir P. Zounds, Sir! do you not see wbat Sam. Sir Pertinax and my lady are come; spiritual; lords, members, judges, generals,
others do? gentle and simple; temporal and Sir; and my lady desires to speak with you and bishops ? aw crowding, bustling,
pushing in her own room-Oh! she is here, Sir.
'[Exit Sam. foremost intill the middle of the circle, and
there waiting, watching, and striving to catch Enter LADY MACSYCOPHANT.
a luock or a smile fra the great mon; which
they meet with an amicable risibility of aspect Lady M. Dear child, I am glad to see you: -a modest cadence of body and a conciliatwhy did you not come to town yesterday, to ing co-operation of the whole mon ;-which attend the levee-your father is incensed to expresses an officious promptitude for his serthe uttermost at your not being there.
vice, and indicates that they luock upon Eger. Madam, it is with extreme regret I tell themselves as the suppliant appendages of his you, that I can no longer be a slave to his power, and the enlisted Swiss of his poleetical temper, his politics, and his scheme of marry, fortune-this, Sir, is what ye ought to doing me to this woman. Therefore you had and this, Sir, is what I never once omitted for better consent at once to my going out of the these five-and-tharty years~let wha would be kingdom, and to my taking Constantia with meenister. me; for, without her, I never can be happy. Lady M. As you regard my peace, or your
Eger, (Aside.] Contemptible !
Sir P. What is it that ye mutter, Sir? own character, I beg you will not be guiliy of
Eger. Only a slight reflection, Sir;- and not su rash a step-you promised me, you would relative to you. Dever marry her without my consent. I will.
Sir P. Sir, your absenting yoursal fra the open it to your father: pray, dear Charles, be levee at this juncture is suspeecious-it is ruled-let me prevail.
luocked upon as a kind of disaffection; and Eger. Madam, I cannot marry this lady.
aw your countrymen are highly offended with Lady M. Well, well; but do not determine, yeer conduct: for, Sir, they do not luock upon First patiently hear what your father and
ye as a friend or a weel wisher either to ScotLord Lumbercourt have to propose, and let land or Scotsmen. them try to manage this business for you with
Eger. Then, Sir, they wrong me, I assure your father-pray do, Charles.
you; but pray, Sir, in what particular can I be Eger. Madam, I submit. Lady M. And while he is in this ill humour, country?
charged either with coldness or offence to my I beg you will not oppose him, let him say Sir P. Why, Sir, ever since your mother's what he will; when his passion is a little cool, uncle, Sir Stanley Egerton, left ye this three I will try to bring him to reason—but pray do thousand pounds a year, and that ye have, in not thwart him.
compliance with his will, taken up the name Sir P. (Without.] Haud your gab, ye scoun- of Egerton, they think ye are grown prouddrel, and do as you are bid. Zounds! ye are that ye have estranged yoursal fra the Macsy80 fall of your gab. Take the chesnut gelding, cophants-have associated with yeer mother's return to town, and inquire what is become of family--with the opposeetion and with those, my lord.
again I must tell you, wha do not wish weel Lady M. Oh! here he coines, I'll get out of till Scotland—besides, Sir, in a conversation the way.
[Exit. the other day, after dinner, at yeer cousin Sir P. (Without.) Here you, Tomlins. Campbell Mackenzie's, before a whole table Tom. [Without.] Sir. Sir P. Without.) Where is my son Egerton ? wish-a total extinguishment of aw party,
full of yeer ain relations, did ye not publicly Tom. (Without.] In the library, Sir Perti- and of aw national distinctions whatever, re
lative to the three kingdoms. And, ye blockSir P. (Without.) Vary weel, the instant head-was that a prudent wish-before sae the lawyers come, let me ken it.
mony of yeer own countrymen, and be damned Enter Sir PertinAX.
to ye? Or, was it a filial language to hold be
fore me? Sir P. Vary weel-Vary week-ah, ye Eger. Sir, with your pardon–I cannot think
it unfilial, or imprudent; I own I do wish-advise him in his matches on the turf, cards, most ardently wish, for a total extinction of and tennis; his harridan, till drink drams wi' all parties—particularly that of English, Irish, him, scrat his face, and burn his periwig, and Scotch, might never more be brought into when she is in her maudlin hysterics--the fel contest, or competition; unless, like loving low has aw that he wants, and aw that he brothers, in generous emulation for one com- wishes, in this world mon cause.
Enter TOMLINS. Sir P. How, Sir; do ye persist?-what, would ye banish aw party--and aw distinc- Tom. Lady Rodolpha is come, Sir. tion betwaxt English, Irish, and your ain Sir P. And my lord ? countrymen ?
Tom. No, Sir, he is about a mile behind, Eger. I would, Sir.
the servant says. Sir P. Then damme, Sir-ye are nae true Sir P. Let me know the instant he arrives. Scot. Ay, Sir, ye may luock as angry as ye Tom. I shall, Sir.
[Exit. wull ; but again I say-ye are nae true Scot. Sir P. Step ye oot, Charles, and receive
Eger. Your pardon, Sir, I think he is the Lady Rodolpha. And I desire, Sir, ye wool true Scot, and the true cítizen, who wishes treat her with ass much respect and gallantry equal justice to the merit and demerit of every ass possible-for my lord has hinted that ye subject of Great Britain.—Amongst whom, have been very remiss ass a lover. Adzooks, Sir, I know but of two distinctions.
Charles ! ye should admeenister a whole tor Sir P. Weel, Sir, and what are those? what rant o' fattery till her; for a woman ne'er are those ?
[Impatiently. thinks a man loves her, till he has made an Eger. The knave and and the honest man. idiot of her understanding by flattery; flattery Sir P. Pshaw! redeeculous !
is the prime bliss o’ the sex, the nectar and Eger. And he who makes any other-let ambrosia o’their charms; and ye can ne'er gi'e him be of the north or of the south, of the east them o'er muckle of it: sae, there's a guid lad, or of the west, in place or out of place-is an gang and mind yeer flattery. (Exit EGERTON.) enemy to the whole, and to the virtues of Hah! I must keep a tight hand upon this humanity.
fallow, I see. I'm frightened oot o' my wits Sir P. Ay, Sir! this is your brother's im- lest his mother's family should seduce him to pudent doctrine-for the which I have ban- their party, which would ruin my whole ished him for ever fra my presence, my heart, scheme, and break my heart. A fine time and my fortune-Sir, I will have nae son of o’day indeed for a blockhead to turn patriotanine, because truly he has been educate in when the character is exploded, marked, prothe English univarsity, presume to speak scribed; why, the common people, the very against his native land or against my prin- vulgar, have found out the jest, and laugh ciples. Sir, Scotsmen-Scotsmen, Sir-wher- at a patriot now-a-days, just as they do at a ever they meet throughout the globe-should conjurer, a magician, or any other impostor in unite and stick together, as it were, in a society. poleetical phalanx. However-nae mair of that now, I will talk at large till ye about
Enter TOMLINS and LORD LUMBERCOURT. that business anon; in the meantime, Sir, Tom. Lord Lumbercourt.
[Exit. notwithstanding your contempt of my advice, Lord L. Sir Pertinax, I kiss your hand. and your disobedience till my commands, I Sir P. Your lordship's most devoted—I wool convince ye of my paternal attention till rejoice to see you. your welfare, by my management with this Lord L. You stole a march upon me this voluptuary--this lord Lumbercourt, whose morning !-gave me the slip, Mac; though I daughter ye are to marry :-ye ken, Sir, that never wanted your assistance more in my life. the follow has been my patron above these I thought you would have called upon me. five-and-tharty years.
Sir P. My dear lord, I beg ten millions of Eger. True, Sir.
pardons, for leaving town before you—but ye Sir P. Vary weel-and now, Sir, you see ken that your lordship at dinner yesterday by his prodigality he is become my depen- settled that we should meet this morning at dant; and accordingly I have made my bar- the levee ? gain with him—the deel a bawbee he has in Lord L. That I acknowledge, Mac–I did the world but what comes through these promise to be there, I own-but clutches; for his whole estate, which has Sir P. You did, indeed
and accordingly I three impleecit boroughs upon it-mark-is was at the levee; and waited there till every now in my custody at nurse; the which mortal was gone, and seeing you did na come, estate, on my paying off his debts, and allow. I concluded that your lordship was gone ing him a life-rent of seven thousand per before. annum, is to be made over till me for my life; Lord L. To confess the truth, my dear Mac, and at my death is to descend till ye and your that old sinner, Lord Freakish, General Jolly, issue-the peerage of Lumbercourt, you ken, Sir Anthony Soaker, and two or three more will follow of course-so, Sir, you see there of that set, laid hold of me last night at the are three impleecit boroughs, the whole patri- opera; and, as the General says,- I believe, mony of Lumbercourt, and a peerage, at one by the intelligence of my head this morningslap—why it is a stroke-a hit-a hit-a capi. ha! ha! ha! we drank deep ere we departed tal hit, mon.-Zounds ! Sir, a man may live a -ha! ha! ha! and century, and not make sic another hit again! Sir P. Ha! ha! ha! nay, if you were with
Eger, It is a very advantageous bargain, that party, my lord, I don't wonder at not no doubt, Sir; but what will my lord's family seeing your lordship at the levee ! say to it?
Lord L. The truth is, Sir Pertinax, my fel. Sir P. Why, mon, he cares not if his family low let me sleep too long for the levee. But were aw at the deel, so his luxury be but I wish I had seen you before you left town-I gratified-only let him have his race-horse, wanted you dreadfully. till feed his vanity; his polite blacklegs, to Sir P. I am heartily sorry that I was not in the way; but on what account, my lord, did see, my dear Mac, what a damned country this you want me ?
is to live in, where noblemen are obliged to Lord L. Ha! ha! ha! a cursed awkward pay their debts, just like merchants, cobblers, affair-and-ha! ha! yet I cannot help laugh- peasants, or mechanics. Is not that a scaning at it neither; though it vexed me con- dal, dear Mac, to a nation ? foundedly.
Sir P. My lord, it is not only a scandal, but Sir P. Vexed you, my lord-I wish I had a national grievance. been wi' ye then; but for heaven's sake, my Lord L. Sir, there is not another nation in lord, what was it that could possibly vex your the world that has such a grierance to comlordship?
plain of. But what concerns me most, I am Lard L. Why, that impudent, teasing, dun- afraid, my dear Mac, that the villain will send ning rascal, Mahogany, my upholsterer-you down to Newmarket, and seize my string of know the fellow?
horses. Sir P. Perfectly, my lord.
Sir P. Your string of horses! We must Lord L. The impudent scoundrel has sued prevent that, at all events :-that would be me up to some infernal kind of a something such a disgrace, I will despatch
an express to or other, in the law, which I think they call town directly, to put a stop till the scoundrel's an execution !
proceedings. Sir. P. The rascal!
Lord L. Pr’ythee do, my dear Sir Pertinax. Lord L. Upon which, Sir, the fellow-ha! Sir P. Oh! it shall be done, my lord. ha! ha! 'I cannot help laughing at it-by way Lord L. Thou art an honest fellow, Sir Perof asking pardon, ha! ha! ha! had the modesty tinax, upon honour. to wait on me two or three days ago—to inform Sir P. Oh, my lord; 'tis my duty to oblige my honour, ha! ha! as he was pleased to dig- your lordship to the very utmost stretch of my nify me—that the execution was now ready to abeelity. be put in force against my honour, ha! ha! ha! -but that, out of respect to my honour, as he
Enter TOMLINS. had taken a great deal of my honour's money, he would not suffer his lawyer to serve it-till ments to you, Sir, and having no family down
Tom. Colonel Toper presents his complihe had first informed my honour–because he with him in the country--he and captain was not willing to affront my honour! ha! ha! Hardbottle, if not inconvenient, will do themba! - a son of a whore !
selves the honour of taking a family dinner Sir P. I never heard of so impudent a dog. with you. Lord L. Now, my dear Mac! ha! ha! as
Sir P. They are two of our militia officers : the scoundrel's apology was so very satisfac- does your lordship know them? tory, and his information so very agreeable to Lord L. By sight only. my honour- I told him, that in honour I could
Sir P. I am afraid, my lord, they will innot do less than to order his honour to be paid terrupt our business. immediately.
Lord L. Ha! ha! not at all-not at allSir P. Ha! ha! ha!-vary weel- ye were ha! ha! ha! I should like to be acquainted as complaisant ass the scoundrel till the full, with Toper, they say he is a fine jolly fellow! I think, my lord.
Sir P. Oh! very jolly, and very clever. He Lord L. Ha! ha! ha! to the full; but you and the captain, my lord, are réckoned two of shall hear-you shall hear, Mac-50, Sir, with the hardest drinkers in the country, great composure, seeing a smart oaken cudgel, Lord L. Ha! ha! ha! so I have heard-let that stood very handily in a corner of my us have them by all means, Mac; they will dressing-room-I ordered two of my fellows enliven
the scene-how far are they from you? to hold the rascal, and another to take the
Sir P. Just across the meadows-not half cudgel, and return the scoundrel's civility a mile, my lord-a step a step. with a good drubbing, as long as the stick
Lord L. Oh, let us have the jolly dogs, by lasted!
all means ! Sir P. Ha! ha! ha! admirable! as gude a
Sir P. My compliments, I shall be proud of stroke of humour as ever I heard of—and did their company. (Exit Tomlins, Gif ye they drub him soundly, my lord ? Lord L. Oh! most liberally, ha! ha! ha! please, my lord, we wull gang and chat a bit
wi' the women. I have not seen lady Romost liberally; and there I thought the affair dolpha since she returned fra the Bath; I long would have rested, till I should think proper to have a little news from her aboot the comto pay the scoundrel-but this morning, Sir, pany there. just as I was stepping into my chaise-my
Lord L. Oh! she'll give you an account of servants all about me a fellow called a tip- them, I'll warrant you. (A very loud laugh staff, stepped up, and begged the favour of my without.) Here the hairbrain comes ! it must footman, who thrashed the upholsterer, and be her by her noise. the two that held him, to go along with him upon a little business to my lord chief justice. follow me sans ceremonie!
Lady R. (Without.] Allons ! gude folks Sir P. The devil!
Lord L. And at the same instant I, in my Enter LADY RODOLPHA, LADY MACSYCOPHANT, tum, was accosted by two other very civil
EGERTON, and SIDNEY. scoundrels, who, with
a most insolent politeness, begged my pardon, and informed me, Lady R. (Running up to SiR PERTINAX.] that I must not go into my own chaise ! Sir Pertinax,-your most devoted- most obse
Sir P. How, my lord! not intill your ain quious, and most obedient vassal. carriage!
[Courtesies very low. Lord L. No, Sir-for that they, by order of Sir P. Lady Rodolpba-down till the ground the sheriff, must seize it, at the suit of a gen- my congratulations, duty, and affection, sin. tleman-one Mr. Mahogany, an upholsterer. cerely attend your ladyship. Sir P. An impudent villain!
[Bowing ridiculously low. Lord L. It is all true, I assure you; so you Lady R. Oh! Sir Pertinax-your humeelity