see her. Lady F. How can you be so slow of apprehension?-She comes, you may be sure, on some occasion relating to this girl: in order to assist young Oakly, perhaps, to sooth me, and gain intelligence, and so forward the match; but I'll forbid the banns, I warrant you. Whatsoever she wants, I'll draw some sweet mischief out of it. -But, away, away! -I think I hear her-slip down the back stairs-or-stay, now I think on't, go out this way-meet her and be sure to make her a very respectful bow, as you go out. Lord T. Hush! here she is! Mrs. O. Yes, from Mr. Russet, Madam; and is chiefly concerning his daughter. As she has the honour of being related to your ladyship, I took the liberty of waiting on you. Lady F. She is, indeed, as you say, Madam, a relation of mine; but, after what has happened, I scarce know how to acknowledge her. Mrs. O. Has she been so much to blame then? Lady F. So much-Madam!Only judge for yourself. Though she had been so indiscreet, not to say indecent in her conduct, as to elope from her father, I was in hopes to have hushed up the matter, for the honour of our family. But she has run away from me too, Madam:-went off, in the most abrupt manner, not an hour ago. Mrs. O. You surprise me. Indeed, her father, by his letter, seems apprehensive of the worst consequences.-But does your ladyship imagine any harm has happened? Lady F. I can't tell-I hope not-But indeed she's a strange girl. You know, Madam, young women can't be too cautious in their conduct. She is, I am sorry to declare it, a very dangerous person to take into a family. Mrs. O. Indeed! [Alarmed. Lady F. If I was to say all I knowMrs. O. Why sure your ladyship knows of nothing that has been carried on clandestinely between her and Mr. Oakly? [In disorder. Lady F. Mr. Oakly! Mrs. O. Mr. Oakly-no, not Mr. Oaklythat is, not my husband---I don't mean himnot him-but his nephew-young Mr. Oakly. Lady F. To wait on me!- -The expression is much too polite for the nature of his visit.My Lord Trinket, the nobleman whom you met as you came in, had, you must know, Madam, some thoughts of my niece, and, as it would have been an advantageous match, I was glad of it: but I believe, after what he has been witness to this morning, he will drop all thoughts of it. Mrs. O. I am sorry that any relation of mine should so far forget himself Lady F. It's no matter his behaviour, indeed, as well as the young lady's, was pretty extraordinary-and yet, after all, I don't believe he is the object of her affections. Mrs. O. Ha! [Much alarmed. Lady F. She has certainly an attachment some where, a strong one; but his lordship, who was present all the time, was convinced, as well as myself, that Mr. Oakly's nephew was rather a convenient friend, a kind of gobetween, than the lover.- -Bless me, Madam, you change colour!-you seem uneasy! What's the matter? Mrs. O. Nothing- -Madam-nothinga little shocked, that my husband should behave so. Lady F. Your husband, Madam ! Mrs. O. His nephew, I mean. -His unpardonable rudeness-But I am not wellI am sorry I have given your ladyship so much trouble-I'll take my leave. Lady F. I declare, Madam, you frighten me. Your being so visibly affected makes me quite uneasy. I hope I have not said any thing I really don't believe your husband is in fault. Men, to be sure, allow themselves strange liberties-But I think, nay, I am sure, it cannot be so-It is impossible! don't let what I have said have any effect on you. Mrs. O. No, it has not-I have no idea of such a thing. Your ladyship's most obedient -[Going, returns.]-but sure, Madam, you have not heard-or don't know any thing see Lady F. Come, come, Mrs. Oakly, how it is, and it would not be kind to say all I know. I dare not tell you what I have heard. Only be on your guard-there can be no harm in that. Do you be against giving the girl any countenance, and see what effect it has. Mrs. O. I will-I am much obligedBut does it appear to your ladyship then that Mr. Oakly Lady F. No, not at all-nothing in't, I dare say-I would not create uneasiness in a family-but I am a woman myself, have been married, and can't help feeling for you.-But don't be uneasy; there's nothing in't, I dare say. Mrs. O. I think so.- -Your ladyship's humble servant. Lady F. Your servant, Madam.-Pray] don't be alarmed; I must insist on your not making yourself uneasy. Mrs. O. Not at all alarmed-not in the least uneasy-Your most obedient. [Exit. Lady F. Ha, ha, ha! there she goes, brimful of anger and jealousy, to vent it all on ber husband.-Mercy on the poor man! Re-enter LORD TRINKET. Bless me, my lord, I thought you was gone! Lord T. Only into the next room. My curiosity would not let me stir a step further. I heard it all, and was never more diverted in my life, 'pon honour. Ha, ha, ha! Lady F. How the silly creature took it.Ha, ha, ha! Oak. I am not, Madam.--I hope Charles has not been guilty of any baseness towards you. If he has, I'll never see his face again. Har. I have no cause to accuse him. But Oak. But what, Madam? pray be quick! -The very person in the world I would not have seen! [Aside. Har. You seem uneasy, Sir! Oak. No, nothing at all.-Pray go on, Madam. Har. I am at present, Sir, through a concurrence of strange accidents, in a very unfortunate situation, and do not know what will become of me without your assistance. Oak. I'll do every thing in my power to serve you. I know of your leaving your fa Lord T. Ha, ha, ha!-My dear Lady Free-ther, by a letter we have had from him. Pray love, you have a deal of ingenuity, a deal of let me know the rest of your story. esprit, 'pon honour. Lady F. A little shell thrown into the enemy's works, that's all. Both. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Lady F. But I must leave you-I have twenty visits to pay. You'll let me know how you succeed in your secret expedition. Lord T. That you may depend on. Lady F. Remember then, that to-morrow morning I expect to see you. At present, your lordship will excuse me. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-MR. OAKLY's House. -If Wil. She is just gone out, Madam. Har. I have something of consequenceyou will give me leave, Sir, I will wait till she returns. Wil. You would not see her, if you did, Madam. She has given positive orders not to be interrupted with any company to-day. Har. Sure, Sir, if you was to let her know that I had particular business Wil. I should not dare to trouble her, indeed, Madam. Har. How unfortunate this is! what can I do?-Pray, Sir, can I see Mr. Oakly then? Wil. Yes, Madam : I'll acquaint my master, if you please. Har. Pray do, Sir. Wil. Will you favour me with your name, Madam? Har. Be pleased, Sir, to let him know that a lady desires to speak with him. Wil. I shall, Madam. Har. I wish I could have seen Mrs. Gakly. [Exit. What an unhappy situation am I reduced to by my father's obstinate perseverance to force me into a marriage which my soul abhors. Har. My story, Sir, is very short. When I left my father's I came immediately to London, and took refuge with a relation; where, instead of meeting with the protection I expected, I was alarmed with the most infamous designs upon my honour. It is not an hour ago since your nephew rescued me from the attempts of a villain. I tremble to think that I left him actually engaged in a duel. Oak. He is very safe. He has just sent home the chariot from the St. Alban's tavern, where he dines to-day.- -But what are your commands for me, Madam? Har. The favour, Sir, I would now request for a few days, in your house. of you is, that you would suffer me to remain, Oak. Madam! Har. And that, in the mean time, you will my father, without his forcing me into a maruse your utmost endeavours to reconcile me to riage with Sir Harry Beagle. Oak. This is the most perplexing situation! -Why did not Charles take care to bestow you properly? Har. It is most probable, Sir, that I should The world is but too apt to censure, even withnot have consented to such a measure myself. mit me into your house, I must desire not to out a cause: and if you are so kind as to adyour nephew. consider Mr. Oakly in any other light than as Oak. What an unlucky circumstance!to serve you-but being in my house creates a Upon my soul, Madam, I would do any thing difficulty that Har. I hope, Sir, you do not doubt the truth of what I have told you? Madam; but I have particular family consiOak. I religiously believe every tittle of it, derations, that Har. Sure, Sir, you cannot suspect me to be base enough to form any connexions in your family, contrary to your inclinations, while I am living in your house! me and all my family great honour. I never Enter MRS. OAKLY behind, in a Capuchin Mrs. O. I am sure I heard the voice of a Har. I see, Sir, you are not inclined to serve me-good Heaven! what am I reserved to?— Mrs. O. 1 know it. Oak. And since that, it seems, Charles has been so fortunate as to Why, why did I leave my father's house, to | know, my dear, that the letter which came this expose myself to greater distresses? morning related to this lady[Ready to weep. Oak. I would do any thing for your sake, indeed I would. So pray be comforted, and I'll think of some proper place to bestow you in. Mrs. O. So! so! [Aside. Har. What place can be so proper as your own house? Mrs. O. O, you deceitful man! That trick is too stale to pass again with me. It is plain now what you meant by your proposing to take her into the house this morning. But the gentlewoman could introduce herself, I see. Ouk. Fy! fy, my dear, she came on purpose to inquire for you. Oak. My dear Madam, I—I— Mrs. O. My dear Madam! Mighty well! [Aside. Oak. Hush!-hark!-what noise?-no,-no- Mrs. O. For me! better and better! Did not thing. But I'll be plain with you, Madam; she watch her opportunity, and come to you we may be interrupted. The family consider-just as I went out? But I am obliged to you ation I hinted at is nothing else than my wife. for your visit, Madam. It is sufficiently paid. She is a little unhappy in her temper, Madam; Pray, don't let me detain you. and if you were to be admitted into the house, I don't know what would be the consequence. Mrs. O. Very fine! [Aside. Har. My behaviour, Sir! Oak. My dear life, it would be impossible for you to behave in such a manner as not to give her suspicion. Har. But if your nephew, Sir, took every thing upon himself Oak. Still that would not do, Madam. Why, this very morning, when the letter came from your father, though I positively denied any knowledge of it, and Charles owned it, yet it was almost impossible to pacify her. Har. What shall I do? What will become of me? Oak. Why lookye, my dear Madam, since my wife is so strong an objection, it is absolutely impossible for me to take you into the house. Nay, if I had not known she was gone out, just before you came, I should be uneasy at your being here, even now. So we must manage as well as we can. I'll take a private lodging for you a little way off, unknown to Charles, or my wife, or any body; and if Mrs. Oakly should discover it at last, why the whole matter will light upon Charles, you know. [Aside. Mrs. O. Upon Charles! Har. How unhappy is my situation! [Weeping.] I am ruined for ever. Oak. Ruined! not at all. Such a thing as this has happened to many a young lady before you, and all has been well again. Keep up your spirits! I'll contrive, if I possibly can, to visit you every day. Mrs. O. [Advances.] Will you so? O, Mr. Oakly! have I discovered you at last? I'll visit you, indeed! And you, my dear Madam, Har. Madam, I don't understand Mrs. O. I understand the whole affair, and have understood it for some time past. You shall have a private lodging, Miss! It is the fittest place for you, I believe. How dare you look me in the face? Oak. For Heaven's sake, my love, don't be so violent. You are quite wrong in this affair -you don't know who you are talking to. This lady is a person of fashion. Mrs. O. Fine fashion, indeed! to seduce other women's husbands! Har. Dear Madam, how can you imagineOak. I tell you, my dear, this is the young lady that Charles Mrs. O. Mighty well! but this wont do, Sir! Did not I hear you lay the whole intrigue together? Did not I hear your fine plot of throwing all the blame upon Charles?— Oak. Nay, be cool a moment. You must Oak. For shame! for shame! Mrs. Oakly! How can you be so absurd? Is this proper behaviour to a lady of her character? Mrs. O. I have heard her character. Go, my fine, runaway Madam! Now you have eloped from your family, and run away from your aunt! Go! You sha'n't stay here, I promise you. Oak. Pr'ythee, be quiet. You don't know what you are doing. She shall stay. Mrs. O. She sha'n't stay a minute. Oak. She shall stay a minute, an hour, a day, week, a month, a year! 'Sdeath, Madam, she shall stay for ever, if I choose. Mrs. O. How! a Hur. For Heaven's sake, Sir, let me go, I am frightened to death. Oak. Don't be afraid, Madam! She shall stay, I insist upon it. Rus. [Within. I tell you, Sir, I will go up. I am sure the lady is here, and nothing shall hinder me. Hur. O, my father! my father! [Faints. Oak. See! she faints! [Catches her.] Ring the bell! Who's there? Mrs. O. What! take her into your arms too! I have no patience. Enter RUSSET. Rus. Where is this-ha! fainting! [Runs to her.] O, my dear Harriet! my child! my child! Ouk. Your coming so abruptly shocked her spirits. But she revives. How do you do, Madam? Har. [To RUSSET.] O, Sir! Rus. O, my dear girl! how could you run away from your father, that loves you with such fondness? But I was sure I should find you here Mrs. O. There! there! sure he should find her here! Did I not tell you so? Are not you a wicked man, to carry on such base underhand doings, with a gentleman's daughter? Rus. Let me tell you, Sir, whatever you may think of the matter, I shall not easily put up with this behaviour. How durst you encourage my daughter to an elopement, and receive her in your house? Mrs. O. There, mind that! The thing is as plain as the light. Oak. I tell you, you misunderstand Rus. Look you, Mr. Oakly, I shall expect satisfaction from your family for so gross an affront. Zounds, Sir, I am not to be used ill by any man in England. Har. My dear Sir, I can assure you Rus. Hold your tongue, girl! You'll put me in a passion. Oak. Sir, this is all a mistake. Rus. A mistake! Did not I find her in your house? Oak. Upon my soul, she has not been in my house above Mrs. O. Did not I hear you say, you would take her a lodging, a private lodging? Oak. Yes, but that old cock, how do you do? But, Harriet! my dear girl! [Taking hold of her.] My life, my soul, my Rus. Let her go, Sir; come away, Harriet! Leave him this instant, or I'll tear you asun[Pulling her. Har. There needs no violence to tear me der. Rus. Has not this affair been carried on a from a man who could disguise himself in such long time in spite of my teeth? a gross manner, at a time when he knew I was in the utmost distress. Oak. Sir, I never troubled myself- Oak. No. [Disengages herself, and exit with RUSSET. Char. Only hear me, Sir-Madam! my dear Harriet-Mr. Russet-gone! she's gone! and, 'egad, in very ill humour, and in very bad Rus. Did not you send to meet her, when company! I'll go after her-but hold! I shall she came to town? Oak. No. only make it worse, as I did, now I recollect, once before. How the devil came they here? Mrs. O. Did not you deceive me about the Who could have thought of finding her in my letter this morning? Oak. No, no, no-I tell you, no. Mrs. O. Yes, yes, yes-I tell you, yes, Rus. Sha'n't I believe my own eyes? Mrs. O. Sha'n't I believe my own ears? Oak. I tell you, you are both deceived. Rus. Zounds, Sir, I'll have satisfaction. Mrs. O. I'll stop these fine doings, I warrant you. Oak. 'Sdeath, you will not let me speakand you are both alike, I think. I wish you were married to one another with all my heart. Mrs. O. Mighty well! mighty well! Rus. I shall soon find a time to talk with you. Oak. Find a time to talk! you have talked enough now for all your lives. Mrs. O. Very fine! Come along, Sir! Leave that lady with her father. Now she is in the properest hands. [Exit. Oak. I wish I could leave you in his hands. [Going, returns.] One word with you, Sir! The height of your passion, and Mrs. Oakly's strange misapprehension of this whole affair, makes it impossible to explain matters to you at present. I will do it when you please, and how you please. Rus. Yes, yes; I'll have satisfaction. So, Madam! I have found you at last. You have made a fine confusion here. Har. I have indeed been the innocent cause of a great deal of confusion. Rus. Innocent! What business had you to be running hither after Har. My dear Sir, you misunderstand the whole affair. I have not been in this house half an hour. Rus. Zounds, girl, don't put me in a passion! You know I love you; but a lie puts me in a passion. But come along, we'll leave this house directly. [CHARLES sings without.] Hey-day! what now? After a noise without, enter CHARLES, drunk. Char. [Sings.] But my wine neither nurses nor babies can bring, And a big-bellied bottle's a mighty good thing. What's here? a woman? Harriet! impossible! My dearest, sweetest Harriet! I have been looking all over the town for you, and at last, when I was tired, and weary, and disappointed, why then the honest major and I sat down together to drink your health in pint bumpers. [Running to her. Rus. Stand off! How dare you take any liberty with my daughter before me? Zounds, Sir, I'll be the death of you. Char. Ha! 'Squire Russet too! You jolly own house? My head turns round with conjectures. I believe I am drunk; very drunk: so 'egad, I'll e'en go and sleep myself sober, and then inquire the meaning of all this. For, I love Sue, and Sue loves me, &c. ACT IV. [Exit, singing. Char. And I would give the world to have been any where else. May wine be my poison, if ever I am drunk again! Maj. O. Ay, ay, so every man says the next morning. Char. Where, where can she be? Her father would hardly carry her back to Lady Freelove's, and he has no house in town himself, I'll go in search of her, though I don't know or Sir Harry-I don't know what to think. where to direct myself. Enter WILLIAM. Wil. A gentleman, Sir, that calls himself Captain O'Cutter, desires to speak with you. Char. Don't trouble me-I'll see nobodyI'm not at home Wil. The gentleman says he has very particular business, and he must see you. Char. What's his name? who did you say? Char. Captain O'Cutter! I never heard of him before. Do you know any thing of him, major? Maj. O. Not I-But you hear he has particular business. I'll leave the room. Char. He can have no business that need be a secret to you. Desire the captain to walk up. [Exit WILLIAM, Enter CAPTAIN O'CUTTER. O'Cut. Jontlemen, your sarvant. Is either of your names Charles Oakly, Esq.? Char. Charles Oakly, Sir, is my name, if you have any business with it. O'Cut. Avast, avast, my dear! I have a little business with your name; but as I was to let nobody know it, I can't mention it till you clear the decks, 'fait. [Pointing to the MAJOR. Char. This gentleman, Sir, is my most intimate friend, and any thing that concerns me may be mentioned before him. Ŏ'Cut. O, if he's your friend, my dear, we may do all above board. It's only about your deciding a deferance with my Lord Trinket. He wants to show you a little warm work; and, as I was steering this way, he desired me to fetch you this letter. [Gives a letter. Maj. O. How, Sir, a challenge! O'Cut. Yes, fait, a challenge. I am to be his lordship's second; and if you are fond of a hot birth, and will come along with that jontleman, we'll all go to it together, and make a little line of battle a-head of our own, my dear. Char. [Reads.] Ha! what's this? This may be useful. [Aside. Maj. O. Sir, I am infinitely obliged to you. A rare fellow this! [Aside.] Yes, yes, I'll meet all the good company. I'll be there in my waistcoat and pumps, and take a morning's breathing with you. Are you very fond of fighting, Sir? O'Cut. Indeed, and I am; I love it better than grog. Maj. O. But pray, Sir, how are you interested in this difference? Do you know what it is about? O'Cut. O, the devil burn me, not I. What signifies what it's about, you know? so we do but tilt a little. Maj. O. What, fight, and not know for what? O'Cut. When the signal's out for engaging, what signifies talking? Maj. O. I fancy, Sir, a duel's a common breakfast with you. I'll warrant now, you have been engaged in many such affairs. O'Cut. Upon my shoul, and I have; sea or land, it's all one to little Terence O'Cutter. When I was last in Dublin, I fought one jontleman for cheating me out of a tousand pounds; I fought two of the Mermaid's crew about Sally Macguire; tree about politics; and one about the playhouse in Smock Alley. But upon my fait, since I am in England, I have done nothing at all, at all. Char. This is lucky-but my transport will discover me. [Aside.] Will you be so kind, Sir, [To O'CUTTER.] as to make my compli ments to his lordship, and assure him, that I shall do myself the honour of waiting on him. O'Cut. Indeed, and I will. Arrah, my dear, won't you come too? [To MAJOR OAKLY. Maj. O. Depend upon it, captain. A very extraordinary fellow' [Aside. Char. Now to get my intelligence. [Aside.] I think, the time, Sir, his lordship appoints in his letter, is a O'Cut. You say right. Six o'clock. Char. And the place-a-a-is- -I think, behind Montague-House? O'Cut. No, my dear! Avast, by the ring in Hyde-park, 'fait. I settled it there myself, for fare of interruption. Char. True, as you say, the ring in Hydepark; I had forgot. Very well, I'll not fail you, Sir. O'Cut. Devil burn me, nor 1. Upon my shoul, little Terence O'Cutter will see fair play, or he'll know the reason; and so, my dear, your sarvant. You'll not forget to come, my dear. [Exit. Maj. O. Ha, ha, ha! What a fellow He loves fighting like a game cock. Char. O uncle! the luckiest thing in the world! Maj. O. What, to have the chance of being run through the body? I desire no such good fortune. Char. Wish me joy, wish me joy! I have found her, my dear girl, my Harriet! She is at an inn in Holborn, major! Maj. O. Ay, how do you know? Char. Why, this dear, delightful, charming, blundering captain has delivered me a wrong letter. Maj. O. A wrong letter! Char. Yes, a letter from Lord Trinket to Lady Freelove. Maj. O. The devil! What are the contents? Char. The news I told you just now, that she's at an inn in Holborn: and, besides, an excuse from my lord, for not waiting on her ladyship this morning according to his promise, as he shall be entirely taken up with his design upon Harriet. Maj. O. So, so!-A plot between the lord and the lady." Char. There! read, read man! [Giving the letter. Maj. O. [Reading.] Um-um-um-Very fine! And what do you propose doing? Char. To go thither immediately! Maj. O. Then you shall take me with you. Who knows what his lordship's designs may be? I begin to suspect foul play. Char. No, no; pray mind your own business. If I find there is any need of your assistance, I'll send for you. Maj. O. You'll manage this affair like a boy, now; go on rashly with noise and bustle, and fury, and get yourself into another scrape. Char. No, no, let me alone; I'll go incog. Leave my chariot at some distance Proceed prudently, and take care of myself, I warrant you. I did not imagine that I should ever rejoice at receiving a challenge, but this is the most fortunate accident that could possibly have happened. B'ye, b'ye, uncle! [Exit, hastily. Maj. O. I don't half approve of this; and yet I can hardly suspect his lordship of any very deep designs neither. Charles may easily outwit him. Harkye, William! Wil. Sir! [Seeing WILLIAM at some distance. Re-enter WILLIAM. Maj. O. Where's my brother? Maj. O. And how is he, William? Maj. O. Ay, ay, but is he in a good humour, or Wil. I never meddle in family affairs, not I, Sir. [Exit. Maj. O. Well said, William !-No bad hint for me, perhaps !-What a strange world we live in! no two people in it love one another better than my brother and sister, and yet the bitterest enemies could not torment each other more heartily. However, yesterday, to give him his due, he behaved like a man. Keep it up, brother! keep it up! or it's all over with you. Some mischief is on foot, I'll even set forwards on all sides. I'll in to him directly, read him one of my morning lectures, and persuade him, if I possibly can, to go out with me immediately; or work him to some open act of rebellion against the sovereign authority of his lady wife. Zounds, brother! rant, and roar, and rave, and turn the house out of the window. If I was a husband!———'Sdeath, |