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The reason why my memoirs have, Christian is a rogue, do I impugn the not been continued with that regu- professors of the whole Christian relilarity, which, I believe, is considered gion ? Can my Hebrew critic say requisite by professional persons, in that a Hebrew banker never cheated order to insure the success of their in matters of exchange, or that a Hework, is a very simple one, - I have brew was never guilty of a roguery? been otherwise engaged ; and as I do If so, what was the gold-dust robbery, not care one straw whether the pub- and why is Ikey Solomons at Botany lic do or do not like my speculations Bay ? No; the Lion of Judah may (heartily pitying, and at the same time be a good lion, but lie is a deucedly despising those poor devils who write bad arguer, nay, he is a bad lion, under different circumstances) as he roars before he is hurt. Be calm, I say, I was in Scotland shooting thou red-maned desert-roarer, the grouse for some time past, coming arrows of Fitz-Boodle have no poison home deucedly tired of evenings, at their tip, and are shot only in play. which I devoted to a cigar and a I never wished to attack the Jewish glass of toddy, it was quite impossible nation, far from it, I have three bills to satisfy the curiosity of the public. now out; nor is he right in saying I bagged 1114 brace of grouse in that I have made a dastardly statesixty days, besides dancing in kilt ment, which I have given under a before her M-y at Bl-r Ath-1. false name; just the contrary, my By the way, when Mr. F-M-le name is, as everybody knows, my gives away cairngorums, he may as real name, - it is the statement which well say whose property they are. I is false, and I confess there is not lent the man the very stone out of a one word of truth in it-I never snuff-mull with which Charles Edward knew, to my knowledge, any Hirsch complimented my great-great-aunt, or Löwe in my life; I never was with Flora MacWhirter.

Minna Löwe; the adventures never The worthy publisher sent me did occur at Bonn. Is my friend now down his Magazine to Dunkeld (a satisfied? Let him remember, in the good deal of it will be found in first place, that the tale is related of wadding over the moors, and perhaps individuals, and not of his people at in the birds which I sent him), and, large; and in the second place, that at the same time, he despatched some the statement is not true. If that critiques, both cpistolary and news- won't satisfy him, what will ? Rabbi, paperacious, upon the former chapter let us part in peace! Neither thee of my Memoirs. The most indignant nor thy like would George Fitz-Boodle of the manuscript critiques came from ever willingly harm - neither thee a member of the Hebrew persuasion. nor any bearded nor unbearded man. And what do you think is the opinion If there be no worse rogues in Jewry, of this Lion of Judah? Simply that the people is more lucky than the George Savage Fitz-Boodle is a false rest of the world, and the fact is good name, assumed by some coward, to be known. whose intention it is to insult the And now for the second objections. Jewish religion ! He says that my These are mainly of one kind - most history of the Löwe family is a das- of the journalists, from whose works tardly attack upon the people! How pleasing extracts have been made, is it so? If I say that an individual concurring in stating, that the last

paper, which the Hebrew thought so mankind for not believing in me. It is dangerous, was, what is worse still, a well-known fact, that no natural exceedingly stupid.

man can see the length of his own This disgusting unanimity of sen- ears; it is only the glass

the retiment at first annoyed me a good flection that shows them to him. Let deal, for I was pained to think that the critics be our glass, I am content success so soon bred envy, and that to believe that they are pretty honest, the members of the British press that they are not actuated by percould not bear to see an amateur sonal motives of hatred in falling foul enter the lists with them, and carry of me and others; and this being off laurels for which they had been premised, I resume the narration of striving long years in vain. Is there my adventures. If this chapter don't no honesty left in the world, I please them, they must, indeed, be very thought? And the thought gave me hard to amuse. extreme pain, for, though (as in the Beyond sparring and cricket, I do Hebrew case above mentioned) I love not recollect I learned any thing useoccasionally to disport with the fol- ful at Slaughter-House School, where lies and expose the vices of individu- I was educated (according to an old als, to attribute envy to a whole class family tradition, which sends particis extremely disagreeable to one ular generations of gentlemen to whose feelings are inore than ordina- particular schools in the kingdom; rily benevolent and pure.

and such is the force of habit, that An idea here struck me. I said though I hate the place, I shall send to myself, “ Fitz-Boodle! perhaps the my own son thither, too, should I paper is stupid, and the critics are marry any day). I say I learned right.” I read the paper: I found little that was useful at Slaughter that it was abominably stupid, and, House, and nothing that was ornaas I fell asleep over it, an immense mental. I would

have repose and calm came over my mind, thought of learning to dance, as of and I woke reconciled with human learning to climb chimneys. Up to nature.

the age of seventeen, as I have shown, Let authors consider this above I had a great contempt for the female fact well, and draw their profit from race, and when age brought with it it. I have met with many men, warmer and juster sentiments, where who, like myself, fancy themselves was I?— I could no more dance nor the victims of a conspiracy - mar- prattle to a young girl than a young tyrs; but, in the long-run, the world bear could. I have seen the ugliest and the critics of nowadays are gen- little low-bred wretches carrying off erally right; they praise too much young and lovely creatures, twirling perhaps, they puff a small reputation with them in waltzes, whispering beinto à huge onc, but they do not tween their glossy carls in quadrilles, neglect much that is good; and, if simpering with perfect equanimity, literary gentlemen would but bear and cutting pas in that abominable this truth in mind, what a deal of " cavalier seul,” until my soul grew pain and trouble might they spare sick with fury. In a word, I deterthemselves ! There would be no mined to learn to dance. despair, ill-humor, no quarrelling But such things are hard to be with your fellow-creatures, nor jaun- acquired late in life, when the bones diced moody looks upon nature and and the habits of a man are formed. the world. Instead of crying the Look at a man in a hunting-field who world is wicked — all men are bad, has not been taught to ride as a boy. is it not wiser, my brethren, to say, All the pluck and courage in the “I am an ass ” ? let me be content to world will not make the man of him know that, nor anathematize universall that I am, or as any man who has



had the advantages of early education I have been about from the beginning in the field.

to the end of the dance. I always In the same way with dancing. look at the lady opposite, and do as Though I went to work with im- she does : if she did not know how mense energy, both in Brewer Street, to dance, par hasard, it would be all Golden Square (with an advertising up. But if they can't do any thing fellow), and afterwards with old Cou- else, women can dance; let us give lon at Paris, I never was able to be them that praise at least. easy in dancing; and though little In London, then, for a considerable Coulon instructed me in a smile, it time, I used to get up at eight o'clock was a cursed forced one, that looked in the morning, and pass an hour like the grin of a person in extreme alone with Mr. Wilkinson, of the agony. I once caught sight of it in Theatres Royal, in Golden Square;a glass, and have hardly ever smiled an hour alone. It was “one, two, since.

three; one, two, three - now jump Most young men about London — right foot more out, Mr. Smith; have gone through that strange secret and if you could try and look a little ordeal of the dancing-school. I am more cheerful; your partner, sir

, given to understand that young snobs would like you 'hall the better.” from attorneys' offices, banks, shops, Wilkinson called me Smith, for the and the like, make not the least fact is, I did not tell him my real mystery of their proceedings in the name, nor (thank heaven !) does he saltatory line, but trip gayly, with know it to this day. pumps in hand, to some dancing-place I never breathed a word of my about Soho, waltz and quadrille it doings to any soul among my friends : with Miss Greengrocer or Miss Butch- once a pack of them met me in the er, and fancy they have had rather a strange neighborhood, when, I am pleasant evening. There is one house ashamed to say, I muttered something in Dover Street, where, behind a about a "little French milliner,' dirty curtain, such figures may be and walked off, looking as knowing seen hopping every night, to a per- as I could. petual fiddling; and I have stood In Paris, two Cambridge-men and sometimes wondering in the street, myself, who happened to be staying with about six blackguard boys at a boarding-house together, agreed wondering too, at the strange con- to go to Coulon, a little creature of tortions of the figures jumping up four feet high with a pigtail. His and down to the mysterious squeaking room was hung round with glasses, of the kit. Have they no shame ces He made us take off our coats, and gens ? are such degrading initiations dance each before a mirror. Once he to be held in public? No, the snob was standing before us playing on his may, but the man of refined mind kit the sight of the little master never can submit to show himself in and the pupil was so supremely ridicpublic laboring at the apprenticeship ulous, that I burst into a yell of of this most absurd art. It is owing, laughter, which so offended the old perhaps, to this modesty, and the man that he walked away abruptly, fact that I had no sisters at home, and begged me not to repeat my visits

. that I have never thoroughly been Nor did 1. I was just getting into able to dance; for thongh I always waltzing then, but determined to drop arrive at the end of a quadrille (and waltzing, and content myself with thank heaven for it too!) and though, quadrilling for the rest of my days. I believe, I make no mistake in par This was all very well in France ticular, yet I solemnly confess I have and England; but in Germany what never been able thoroughly to com was I to do? What did Hercules prehend the mysteries of it, or what I do when Omphale captivated him ?

What did Rinaldo do when Armida of other magnificent edifices in the fixed upon him her twinkling eyes? Residenz, such as the guard-room, the Nay, to .cut all historical instances skittle-hall (Grossherzoglich Kalbsbratshort, by going at once to the earliest, enpumpernickelisch Schkittelspielsaal), what did Adam do when Eve tempted &c., and the superb sentry-boxes behim? He yielded and became her fore the Grand-Ducal Palace. He is slave; and so I do heartily trust Knight Grand Cross of the Ancient every honest man will yield until the Kartoffel Order, as, indeed, is almost end of the world - he has no heart every one else in his Highness's dowho will not. When I was in Ger- | minions. many, I say, I began to learn to waltz. The town of Kalbsbraten contains a The reader from this will no doubt population of two thousand inhabitexpect that some new love-adventures ants, and a palace which would acbefell me - nor will his gentle heart be commodate about six times that disappointed. Two deep and tremen- number. The principality sends dous incidents occurred which shall three and a half men to the German be notified on the present occasion. Confederation, who are commanded

The reader, perhaps, remembers by a General (Excellency), two Majorthe brief appearance of his Highness Generals, and sixty-four officers of the Duke of Kalbsbraten-Pumpernick- lower grades ; all noble, all knights el at B House, in the first part of of the Order, and almost all chambermy Memoirs, at that unlucky period | lains to his Highness the Grand Duke. of my life when the Duke was led to an excellent band of eighty perremark the odor about my clothes, formers is the admiration of the surwhich lost me the hand of Mary rounding country, and "leads the M‘Alister. I somehow found myself Grand-Ducal troops to battle in time in his Highness's territories, of which of war. Only three of the contingent anybody may read a description in the of soldiers returned from the Battle of “ Almanach de Goth.” His High-Waterloo, where they won much hon: ness's father, as is well known, married or; the remainder was cut to pieces Emilia Kunegunda Thomasina Char- on that glorious day. leria Emanela Louisa Georgina, Prin There is a chamber of representacess of Saxe-Pumpernickel and a cous- tives (which, however, nothing can in of his Highness the Duke. Thus the induce to sit), home and foreign two principalities were united under ministers, residents from neighboring one happy sovereign in the person of courts, law presidents, town councils, Philibert Sigismund Emanuel Maria, &c., all the adjuncts of a big or little the reigning Duke, who has received government.

The court has its from his country (on account of the cel chamberlains and marshals, the ebrated pump which he erected in the Grand Duchess her noble ladies in market place of Kalbsbraten) the well- waiting, and blushing maids of honor. merited appellation of the Magnificent. Thou wert one, Dorothea! Dost reThe allegory which the statues round member the poor young Engländer? about the pump represent is of a very We parted in anger ; but I think mysterious and complicated sort. I think thou hast not forgotten him. Minerva is observed leading up Ceres The way in which I have Dorothea to a river-god, who has his arms von Speck present to my mind is round the neck of Pomona; while this : not as I first saw her in the Mars (in a full-bottomed wig) is garden - for her hair was in bandriven away by Peace, under whose deaux then, and a large Leghorn hat mantle two lovely children, represent- with a deep ribbon covered half her "ing the Duke's two provinces, repose. fair face, not in a morning-dress, The celebrated Speck is, as need scarce- which, by the way, was none of the ly be said, the author of this piece; and newest nor the best made - but as I

saw her afterwards at a ball at the I hate your little women

– that is, pleasant splendid little court, where when I am in love with a tallone; she moved the most beautiful of the and who would not have loved Dorobeauties of Kalbsbraten. The grand thea ? saloon of the palace is lighted — the Fancy her, then, if you please, Grand Duke and his officers, the about five feet four inches high — fanDuchess and her ladies, have passed cy her in the family color of light through. I, in my uniform of the blue, a little scarf covering the most

th, and a number of young fellows brilliant shoulders in the world ; and (who are evidently admiring my legs a pair of gloves clinging close round and envying my distingué appearance), an arm that may, perhaps, be someare waiting round the entrance-door, what too large now, but that Juno where a huge Heyduke is standing, might have envied then.. After the and announcing the titles of the fashion of young ladies on the contiguests as they arrive.

nent, she wears no jewels or gim“ HERR OBERHOF UND BAUIN- cracks : her only ornament is a wreath SPEKTOR VON SPECK !” shouts the of vine-leaves in her hair, with little Heyduke; and the little Inspector clusters of artificial grapes. Down comes in. His lady is on his arm - on her shoulders falls the brown hair, huge, in towering plumes, and her in rich, liberal clusters; all that health, favorite costume of light blue. Fair and good-humor, and beauty can do women always dress in light blue or for her face, kind nature has done for light green; and Frau von Speck is hers. Her eyes are frank, sparkling, very fair and stout.

and kind. As for her cheeks, what But who comes behind her? Lie- paint-box or dictionary contains pigber Himmel! It is Dorothea! Didments or words to describe their red? earth, among all the flowers which They say she opens her mouth and have sprung from its bosom, produce smiles always to show the dimples in ever one more beautiful ? She was her cheeks. Psha! she smiles benone of your heavenly beauties, I tell cause she is happy, and kind, and you. She had nothing ethereal about good-humored, and not because her her. No, sir; she was of the earth, teeth are little pearls. earthy, and must have weighed ten All the young fellows crowd up to stone four or five, if she weighed an ask her to dance, and, taking from

She had none of your Chi- her waist a little mother-of-pearl renese feet nor waspy, unhealthy waists, membrancer, she notes them down. which those may admire who will. Old Schnabel for the polonaise; KlinNo; Dora's foot was a good stout genspohr, first waltz ; Haarbart, secone; you could see her ankle (if her ond waltz ; Count Hornpieper (the robe was short enough) without the Danish envoy), third ; and so on. I aid of a microscope; and that envi- have said why I could not ask her to ous little, sour, skinny Amalia von waltz, and I turned away with a pang, Mangelwürzel used to hold up her and played écarté with Colonel Trumfour fingers and say (the two girls penpack all night. were most intimate friends, of course), In thus introducing this lovely “Dear Dorothea's vaist is so much creature in her ball-costume, I hare dicker as dis.” And so I have no been somewhat premature, and had doubt it was.

best go back to the beginning of the But what then? Goethe sings in history of my acquaintance with her. one of his divine epigrams :

Dorothea, then, was the daughter

of the celebrated Speck before men“Epicures vaunting their taste, entitle me tioned. It is one of the oldest names

vulgar and sayage, Give them their Brussel-sprouts, but I am in Germany, where her father's and contented with cabbage."

mother's houses, those of Speck and


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