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pete every week promiscuously, send And as he really will be an exceling what they consider their best sam- lent judge of eating and drinking, ples, and leaving with the hall-porter and will bring his whole mind to bear tickets of the prices. Confectionery to upon the question, and will speedily be done out of the house. Fruiterers, acquire an experience which no permarket-men, as butchers and poul- son out of the profession can possibly

The Agent's maître d'hôtel have ; and as, moreover, he will be an will give a receipt to each individual honorable man, not practising upon for the articles he produces; and let his client in any way, or demanding all remember that The Agent is a sixpence beyond his just fee, the very keen judge, and woe betide those world will gain vastly by the coming who serve him or his clients ill! forward of such a person,- gain in

“GEORGE GORMAND GOBBLETON. good dinners, and absolutely save Carlton Gardens, June 10, 1842.

money : for what is five guineas for a

dinner of sixteen? The sum may Here I have sketched out the heads be gaspillé by a cook-wench, or by one of such an address as I conceive a of those abominable, before-named gastronomic agent might put forth; pastrycooks, with their green trays. and appeal pretty confidently to the If any man take up the business, British public regarding its merits he will invite me, of course, to the and my own discovery. If this be Monday dinners. Or does ingratinot a profession - a new one — a fea- tude go so far as that a man should sible one— a lucrative one, — I don't forget the author of his good fortune ? • know what is. Say that a man at- I believe it does. Turn we away from

tends but fifteen dinners daily, that is the sickening theme ! seventy-five guineas, or five hundred and fifty pounds weekly, or fourteen And now, having concluded my thousand three hundred pounds for a professions, how shall I express my season of six months; and how many obligations to the discriminating press of our younger sons have such a cap- of this country for the unanimous apital. even? Let, then, some unem- plause which hailed my first appearployed gentleman with the requisite ance? It is the more wonderful, as I qualifications come forward. It will pledge my sacred word, I never wrote not be necessary that he should have a document before much longer than done all that is stated in the prospec- a laundress's bill, or the acceptance tus; but, at any rate, let him say he of an invitation to dinner. But has : there can't be much harm in an enough of this egotism : thanks for innocent fib of that sort; for the gas- praise conferred sound like vanity; tronomic agent must be a sort of gratitude is hard to speak of, and at dinner-pope, whose opinions cannot present it swells the full heart of be supposed to err.





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and just accusations, no doubt, and who has the wisdom not to are made against every inhabitant of give up his quiet in quest of visionthis wicked world, and the fact is, ary gain. that a man who is ceaselessly engaged Here is, no doubt, the reason why in its trouble and turmoil, borne a man, after the period of his boyhither and thither upon the fierce hood, or first youth, makes so few waves of the crowd, bustling, shifting, friends. Want and ambition (new acstruggling to keep himself somewhat quaintances which are introduced to above water fighting for reputa- him along with his beard) thrust. tion, or more likely for bread, and away all other society from him. ceaselessly occupied to-day with plans Sone old friends remain, it is true, for appeasing the eternal appetite of but these are become as a habit inevitable hunger to-morrow – a man part of your selfishness; and, for new in such straits has hardly time to ones, they are selfish' as you are. think of any thing but himself

, and, Neither member of the new partneras in a sinking ship, must make his ship has the capital of affection and own rush for the boats, and fight, kindly feeling, or can even afford the struggle, and trample for safety. In time that is requisite for the estabthe midst of such a combat as this, lishment of the new firm. Damp and the “ingenious arts, which prevent chill the shades of the prison-house the ferocity of the manners, and act begin to close round us, and that upon them as an emollient” (as the “vision splendid” which has accomphilosophic bard remarks in the Lat- panied our steps in our journey daily in Grammar) are likely to be jostled farther from the east, fades away and to death, and then forgotten. The dies into the light of common day. world will allow no such compromises And what a common day! what a between it and that which does not foggy, dull, shivering apology for belong to it - no two gods must we light is this kind of muddy twilight serve ; but (as one has seen in some through which we are about to old portraits) the horrible glazed eyes tramp and flounder for the rest of of Necessity are always fixed upon our existence, wandering farther and you; fly away as you will, black Care farther from the beauty and freshness sits behind you, and with his ceaseless. and from the kindly gushing springs gloomy croaking drowns the voice of clear gladness that made all of all more cheerful companions. around us green in our youth! One Happy he whose fortune has placed I wanders and gropes in a slough of * Reprinted from "The Westminster Review” for June, 1840. (No. 66.)

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