페이지 이미지
PDF
ePub

nor too much cast down, but to hope in God and not indulge despair.

“ 19. Resolved, to watch against the love of this world, as a sin which doth easily beset me.

“ 20. Resolved, to inquire with candor after the truth for the truth's sake, taking the word of God as my only guide, looking up to the Holy Spirit to guide me into a right understanding of it.

“ 21. Resolved, to watch against a murmuring, fretful spirit.

522. Resolved, to watch in the day of prosperity, lest I forsake the Lord.

“23. Resolved, to remember the Sabbath-day to keep it holy.'

“ 24. Resolved, to avouch the Lord Jehovah, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, as my God and Father, my Redeemer, Sanctifier and Comforter, through the everlasting atonement of Jesus Christ.

“ The preceding resolves, I have generally renewed Saturday evening, with a covenant, in which I have endeavored to give my heart, soul and body, name, interest and happiness, for time and eternity, to God in Christ; also my wife, children and friends; my people, the world, and dearer Zion; that all might be consecrated to the fear, service, kingdom and glory of God :-at the same time praying, that God would be my Father, and put me among his children ; that the Lord Jesus Christ would be my prophet, priest and king--my righteousness, wisdom, sanctification and redemption; and the Holy Spirit, my sanctifier, supporter and comforter. And although, as I have said, I trust, the weekly renewal

of the preceding resolves and covenant has been profitable, and tended to prepare my mind for the Sabbath, yet the practice has taught me this; that it is one thing to covenant and resolve, and another to do; or, in other words, how much easier it is to resolve and covenant than to perform; and that I am absolutely dependent after all, on the gracious and quickening influences of the Holy Spirit.

CHAPTER IV.

Goes to Connecticut and studies under the direction of Mr. Fowler.--

Enjoys a religious revival.-Conversion of Miss Humphrey, afterwards Mrs. Hallock.-Spiritual feelings.- Useful labors.--Visit from his brother.-Earnest desire to preach the Gospel.--Pursues study with Rev. Samuel John Mills of Torringford.—Short journey.-Residence in Stockbridge, with the late Rev. Dr. West.--His opinion of Edwards on religious affections, and of Taylor and Edwards on original sin.

“I HAVE considered 1783 an important year to me. I suppose I was fitted for college in the preceding September. On the invitation of Mr. Abraham Fowler, who had preached at Goshen as a candidate, and with whom I had formed an agreeable acquaintance, I sat out the twenty-sixth of May, for his house in West-Simsbury,* Connecticut, with a view to spend the summer with him in study. The day I left home, I wrote thus : * Left one poor brother and seven sisters, as I have reason to think, in an unconverted state-it is a cutting thought-O Lord, pity them. I did not then know, what I afterwards found to be a fact, that my youngest sister had a hope. I tarried with Mr. Fowler until the first of October. Mr. Edmund Mills preached this summer in West-Simsbury, and Mr. Fowler at SalmonBrook. Mr. Mills was very spiritual and had great assistance from above. Not long after he came, a revival of religion began. I believe, about one hundred manifested hope. Before it commenced, the

* This is the place where Mr. Hallock spent the remainder of his days--the name being afterwards changed to Canton.

church and Sabbath were almost lost; now the church was gathered, reformed and increased. About the middle of August, Mercy Humphrey, now Mrs. Hallock, obtained her hope. She was a daughter of Oliver Humphrey, Esq. and sister of Mrs. Fowler, with whom she boarded, while keeping the district school. Besides meetings on the Sabbath, and lectures, I sometimes attended three or four conferences in a week. And often, if there was no minister, I prayed, read a portion of Scripture and made remarks. I wrote, nearly every day, what I did, and the exercises of my own minddoubts and hopes, trials and comforts. But, as they were nothing extraordinary, and quite similar, I shall only transcribe the journal of two days.

“ August 17, 1783. Lord's day, West-Simsbury. Some enlargement in prayer, this morning, in secret and in the family. My mind, last night, dwelt on the things of religion. I am continually in trouble, by reason of darkness and sin. Talked considerably, last evening, concerning the agency of God's Spirit

-I trust it has been profitable. Heard Mr. Edmund Mills-dull for the most part-find I have a dreadfully wicked heart—some profitable discourse at night-think I have some sense of my dependence on God-had a conference this evening-people appeared very attentive.

“ August 29. Some life in closet prayer, this morning. Many temptations to fight against. Three years ago, to-day, I was discouraged and concluded not to study any more. But God has marvellously supported me from time to time, until now. I trust, I can look back upon all my troubles from that time to this, and repeat the hundred and nineteenth Psalm, last part, [Watts' version,) with application to myself. When one trouble comes, another goes ;--in prosperity, the world is bewitching; but adversity brings a gloom upon it and I can more easily forsake it.

· Arise, my soul, from earthly things,

Thy better portion take.'"

One of the few subjects of this work, now alive, states, that Mr. Hallock, at this time, was as interesting and useful as he was active ; that he manifested not a little skill in his defence of the truth against the assault of gainsayers; that no sooner was the regular service of a meeting closed, than he would be surrounded, often, by a group of listeners, who were unwilling to retire, while one, so able to give instruction, was willing to impart it.

“One thing which occurred, when I lived at Mr. Fowler's, I can never forget; namely, an unexpected visit from Moses, my only brother, and about two years younger than myself. I left him in May, devoted to the world. My feelings for him were sometimes unutterable. To my surprise he came to see me, apparently pricked in the heart. I had heard that he was unwell. The news had given me much anxiety. Now his health was nearly restored, yet he was evidently under serious impressions. He remained with me several days. We attended many meetings—two public fasts, one at Simsbury, and one at Granby, where we parted. To me it was a solemn parting, and I believe, to him. He viewed

« 이전계속 »