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himself, as I have reason to think was the case, unreconciled to God and a child of wrath. By him, I sent letters to my friends in Goshen and Williamsburgh, in which I gave some account of the awakening in Connecticut. These, I afterwards found, were much read by those who felt an interest in such things. My father wrote to me, in consequence, that if I wished to do good, I must write more about the revival.”.
It was possibly from this hint, that Mr. Hallock, throughout his life, made no small use of letters, in his select circle of Christian friends, in the social meeting, and in the house of God. For this purpose, he was accustomed to borrow and copy religious letters of marked interest, especially those which contained important facts in respect to revivals. He had indeed a rare talent to turn to some good account this form of information.
The following extracts from his journal exhibit the state of his mind in the summer of 1783, touching the great and good work of the Christian ministry :
“Felt my heart glow, to engage in the work of the ministry. 0. may God fit me for that great work, and use me for his glory in that way, if it may seem good to him.” “ Had a great desire, I believe to excess, to turn my study wholly upon divinity." “Felt impatient to study so long, before beginning to preach. O that I might learn patience and be quiet as a child.” “ What it means, I cannot tell, but I have a desire to be an itinerant preacher. If it be the will of God, Amen; but O may I never run of my own mind.”
September, thirtieth, 1783, I left West-Simsbury, and went to live with Rev. Mr. Mills, of Torringford, with whom I had formed an endearing acquaintance. It was trying to part with Mr. Fowler, his family and the Christian friends, with whom I had been, for more than four months, in a day of such interest, with no thought of meeting them again, at least, to live together in this world. On the twentieth of October, I received a letter from my brother, in which he gave me an account of his supposed conversion. It was like cold water to a thirsty soul. At Torringford, I saw many good ministers, heard them preach and converse, and was favored with their instruction and counsel. They treated me with parental kindness and tenderness. I made a point of retiring, three times a day, for prayer and reading a portion of Scripture-sometimes, set apart days for private fasting and prayer. Although I saw my heart to be sinful, and was troubled with carnal affections, yet I commonly felt a peace within--not greatly elated, nor yet overwhelmed with distressing doubts and slavish fears.
“ November, twenty-fourth, I left Mr. Mills' for home, wishing to go by the way of Stockbridge. Put up, with Rev. Mr. Knapp, of Winchester. Attended a meeting with him in the evening, and, at his request, made a prayer and said a few words. It was a time of revival here. Next morning, had some freedom in prayer. Felt, I thought, as strong desire to be an itinerant preacher, as the thirsty traveller feels for cold water. After breakfast, parted with the agreeable Mr. Knapp-called, a little
while, on the Rev. Mr. Robbins, of Norfolk, and was delighted with him as a man, and a minister of Jesus. Lodged at Sheffield. Here, I was peculiarly tried, with a rude, profane company, which made me desire, that I might be made as faithful in the service of the Lord, as they were in the service of Satan. Next day, rode to Rev. Mr. West's, of Stockbridge, and agreed to study awhile with him.
“ Nov. 28. Have been from home six months. Think the past has been a profitable summer to my poor soul. Hope to see my friends at Goshen, to-day. May I conduct like a Christian, so long as it shall please God to continue me there.
6 Dec. 4. Attended a wedding-prayed with, and spoke to the young people--they were civil and attentive.
“ Dec. 10. Came to Rev. Mr. West's to study with him. And now, Lord, wilt thou be with me, indeed, and bless me, while here, and I shall be blessed. Had, this evening, freedom in mind, and some sweetness in meditation and prayer.
“ Dec. 16. This day, finished the reading of Edwards on the Affections--approved of it. O may I grow in knowledge and in grace.
5 Dec. 17. Resolved to keep this as a day of private fasting and prayer.--Found it in some measure pleasant.
Dec. 20. Finished reading Mr. Taylor on Original Sin. I know that his scheme will not answer for me,- my wound is too deep. O Lord, deliver me from the horrid belief, that we are not sinners by nature.
6 Dec. 26. Finished reading Mr. Edwards on Original Sin. I think he has been faithful, and that his book is excellent; yet, in some places, I think he ascribes too much of our sin to Adam. He, by no means, holds forth our sinful nature too much.
" Dec. 31. When I am well and hungry, I delight to be called out to breakfast—0 may I delight still more to be called out to prayers. May I hunger more after God, than for my necessary food. I am now brought to the close of a year, in which I have received great and innumerable mercies; but my sins have been infinite every day. O may I sink in my own view, and may the Lord God be only magnified in my heart.
6 Jan. 1, 1784. .I now enter, upon a new year -O may I enter on a new life. Now I am one year nearer the Millennium. Now I am one year nearer the eternal world. So teach me,'O Lord, to number my days, that I may apply my heart unto wisdom.' Set apart this day for fasting and prayer, and to renew my covenant and resolutions.”
CHAPTER V. Applies for license to preach the Gospel. ----First disappointment in respect to this object. --Second disappointment.--Third disappointment. -Subsequent feelings and deportment.--Fruit of his labor in the circle of his relations.--Receives license to preach.
Mr. Hallock, having now pursued preparatory study, nearly four years, resolved to apply for license to preach the Gospel. Ardor of piety prompted him onward, as it has many other valuable ministers, without the advantages of a public education. While, however, his attainments in science and literature were quite limited, his knowledge of his great text-book, the Bible, in its various and high practical bearings on a world lying in sin and ruin, was not deficient. From the time of his conversion, he had made this holy volume, as we have seen, his diligent and prayerful study. If he could not, with some theological students, bring to the investigation of Scripture a knowledge of different languages, and the acuteness of mere criticism on words and phrases, he had the advantage of most, in that childlike simplicity with which he took God's plain declarations. He loved to sit at Jesus' feet; and his faith could there receive with joy, what his reason failed to comprehend. The uprightness of his heart, which gave him a high relish for divine truth, was in fact, a sort of moral test; and a far safer test, no doubt, than the widest range of learning and the best rules of biblical criticism, with a heart at enmity with God. Seldom has the world seen so fine an il