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twixt two faces of such different ex The following letter has not much in tremes, as the only possible expedient, it; but, as it is written in my own praise, to mend the breed, and re&tify the phy. I cannot from my heart suppress it. fiognomy of the family on both sides. And again, is fe is a lady of a very fiuent elocution, you need not fear that YOU proposed, in your Spectator of your firft child will be born dumb, thesis, for solving that very odd phæno

last Tuesday, Mr. Hobbes's hypowhich otherwise you might have some reason to be apprehensive of. To be plain hypothesis valuable hy espousing it your

menon of laughter. You have made the in it; for though she has not a face like å felt; for, had it continued Mr. Hobbes's, John-Apple, yet as a late friend of nobody would have minded it. Now mine, who at fixty-five ventured on a

here this perplexed case arifes. A cerlass of fifteen, very frequently, in the tain company laughed very heartily upremaining five years of his life, gave me

on the reading of that very paper of to underttand, that, as old as he then yours; and the truth on it is, he must seemed, when they were first married he

be a man of more than ordinary conand his spouse could make but fourícore; ftancy that could stand it out against so So may Madam Hecatisfa very justly al

much comedy, and not do as we did.

Now there are few men in the world fo ledge hereafter, that, as long-vilaged as

upon the may then be thought, "upon their far loft to all good sense, as to look wedding-day Mr. Spectator and she had you to be a man in a state of folly inbut half an ell of face betwixt them; and

ferior to himself. Pray then, how do this my very worthy predecessor, 'Mr. you justify your hypɔthesis of laughter Serjeant Chin, always maintained to be

Your most humble, no more than the true oval proportion


THE MONTH OF Fools. between man and wife. But as this may be a new thing to you, who have hither. IN answer to your letter, I must desire co had no expectations from women, I you to recollect yourself; and you thall allow you what time you think fit will find, that, when you did me the to consider on it; not without some hope honour to be so merry over my paper, of seeing at lait your thoughts hereupon you laughed at the Idiot, the German subjoined to mine, and which is an ho. Courtier, the Gaper, the Merry-AnRour much desired by, Sir, your assured, drew, the Haberdasher, the Biter, the friend, and most humble fervant, Butt; and not at your humble servant, HUGH GOBLIN, Præfes. R


Q. R.



Hor. ARS POET. VER. 359. NOMER HIMSELF HATH BIEN OBSERV'D TO NOD. ROSCOMMON. My correspondents grow fo nume nish that Mahometan custom which had

rous, that I cannot avoid fre. too much prevailed even in this island, i quently inserting their applications to me. of treating women as if they had no

souls. I must do them the justice to say, MR. SPECTATOR,

that there seems to be nothing wanting I Am glad I can inform you, that your

to the finishing of thele lovely pieces of endeavours to adorn that sex, which human nature, besides the turning and is the faireft part of the visible

creation, applying their ambition properly, and are well received, and like 'to prove not the keeping them up to a sente of what unsuccessful

. The triumph of Daphne is their true merit. Epictetus, that plain over her sister Letitia has been the fub- honest philosopher, as little as he had of jeft of conversation at several tea-tables gallantry, appears to have understood where I have been present; and I have them, as well as the polite St, Evremont, observed the fair circle not a little pleased and has hit this point very luckily. to find you considering them as reaton- When young women,' says he, ar. able creatures, and endeavouring to ba rive at a certain age, they hear them.


• selves

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* felves called Mistresses, and are made it an observation not ill made, that, where

to believe that their only business is that was wholly denied, the women

to please the men; they immediately lost their wit, and the men their goodbegin to dress, and place all their manners. 'Tis sure, from those inn(hopes in the adorning of their persons; proper liberties you mentioned, that a • it is therefore,' continues he,' worth sort of undiltinguishing people fall ba.

the while to endeavour by all means nish from their drawing-rooms the beft. • to make them sensible, that the honour bred men in the world, and condemn • paid to them is only upon account of those that do not. Your stating this • their conducting themielves with vir- point might, I think, be of good use, as • tue, modeity, and diseretion.' well as much oblige, Sir, your admirer

Now to pursue the matter yet further, and most humble servant, and to render your cares for the im

ANNA BELLA. provement of the fair-ones more effectual, I would propose a new method, No answer to this, till Anna Bella like those applications which are said to sends a description of those the calls the convey their virtue by sympathy; and best-bred men in the world. that is, that in order to embellish the mistress, you should give a new educa

MR. SPECTATOR, tion to the lover, and teach the men not I Am a gentleman who for many years to be any longer dazzled by false charms last past have been well known to be and unreal beauty. I cannot but think truly splenetic, and that my spleen arises that if our sex knew always how to from having contracted fo great a deli. place their esteem juftly, the other would cacy, by reading the best authors, and not be so often wanting to themselves keeping the most refined company, that in deserving it. For as the being ena- I cannot bear the least impropriety of moured with a woman of sense and vir- language, or rusticity of' behaviour. tue is an improvement to a man's un Now, Sir, I have ever looked upon this derstanding and morals, and the passion as a wise distemper; but by late abseris ennobled by the object which inlpires vations find that every heavy wreich, it; fo on the other side, the appcaring who has nothing to say, excuses his amiable to a man of a wise and elegant dulness by complaining of the spleen. mind, carries in itself no' fmall degree Nay, I law, the other day, two fellow's of merit and accomplishment. I con in a tavern-kitchen set up for it, call clude therefore, that one way to make for a pint and pipes, and only by guzthe women yet inore agreeable is, to zling liquor to each other's liealth, and inake the men more virtuous. I am, wafting (moke in each other's face, preSir, your most hunible servant,

tend to throw off the fpleen. I appeal R. B. to you whether these dishonours are io

be done to the distemper of the great

APRIL 29. and the polite. I beleech you, Sir, to YOURS of Saturday last I read, not inforin these fellows that they have not

without fome resentment; but I will the spleen, because they cannot talk suppose, when you say you expect an without the hielp of a glass at their inundation of ribbons and brocades, mouths, or convey their meaning to and to see many new vanities which the each other without the interposition of women will fall into upon a peace with clouds. If you will not do this with France, that you intend only the un all speed, I assure



my part, I thinking part of our sex; and what me will wholly quit the disease, and for the thods can reduce them to reason is hard future be merry with the vulgar. I am, to imagine.


Your humble servant. But, Sir, there are others yet, that your instructions might be of great use SIR, to, who, after their best endeavours, are


HIS is to let you understand, that sometimes at a loss to acquit themselves I am a reformed Starer, and conto a censorious world; I am far from ceived a detestation for that practice thinking you can altogether disapprove from what you have writ upon ihe subof cenversation between ladies and gen-ject. But as you have been very fevere tlemen, regulated by the rules of ho upon the behaviour of us men at divine nour and prudence; and have thought service, I hope you will not be so ap

parently 1.



parently partial to the women, as to let you will think a Peeper as much more them go wholly unobserved. If they pernicious than a Starer, as an ambusdo every thing that is poslible to attract cade is more to be feared than an open our eyes, are we more culpable than asault. I am, Sir, they, for looking at thein? i happened

Your most obedient servant. last Sunday to be shut into a pew, which was full of young ladies in the bloom This Peeper using both fan and eyes, of youth and beauty. When the fer to be considered as a Piet, and proceed vice began, I had not room to kneel at accordingly. the Confession, but as I stood kept my eves from wandering as well as I was KING LATINUS TO THE SPECTATOR, able, till one of the young ladies, who is a Peeper, resolved to bring down my looks, and fix my devotion on herself. THOUGH some may think we de You are to know, Sir, that a Peeper holding correspondence with a private

scend from our imperial dignity, in works with her hands, eyes, and fan; Litterato; yet, as we have great respect one of which is continually in motion,

to all good intentions for our service, while she thinks she is not actually the

we do not esteem it beneath us to return admiration of some Ogler or Starer in at a loss how to behave inyfelf, sur. finement in the inchanted castle of the the congregation. As I stood, utterly you our royal thanks for what you pub

lished in our behalf, while under conrounded as I was, this Peeper so placed Savoy, and for your mention of a subherself as to be kneeling juit before me. She displayed the most beautiful bolom fidy for a prince in misfortune. This imaginable, which heaved and fell with your timely zeal has inclined the hearts

of divers to be aiding unto us, if we fome fervour, while a delicate wellThaped arm held a fan orer her face. It taken their good-will into consideration,

We have

could propose the means. was not in nature to command one's and have contrived a method which will tres from this object. I could not avoid taking notice also of her fan, and not unacceptable to us who receive

be easy to those who shall give the aid, which had on it various figures, very it. A concert of mulic thall be prepared improper to behold on occasion.

at Haberdashers Hall for Wednesday There lay in the body of the piece a Venus, under a purple canopy furled the fecond of May, and we will honour

the said entertainment, with our own with curious wreaths of drapery, half presence, where each person shall be afnaked, attended with a train of Cupids, felfed but at two shillings and fix-pence. who were .bufied in fanning her as the What we expect from you is, that you il-pt. Behind her was drawn a Satyr peeping over the filken fence, and threat. publish these our royal intentions, with ening to break through it. I frequent- tables within the cities of London and

injunction that they be read at all tealy offered to turn my light another way, Westminster; and so we bid you heartibut was still detained by the fascination

ly farewel. of the Peeper's eyes, who had long

LATINUS, practiled a skill in them, to recal the

King of the Volscians. parting glances of her beholders. You tre my complaint, and hope you will Given at our court in Vinegar Yard, zikerhefe mischievous people, thePeepers, story the third from the earth, April 18, into your confideration: I doubt not but 1711.






THE following letter being the firft could not but do myself the honour of kimed university of Cambridge, 1 new fe&t of philofophers which has arose


in that famous refidence of learning; publith a new edition of Diogenes and is perha's the only feet this age is tius, to add this treatise of mine by likely to produce.

of supplement; I fall now, to let

world see what may be expected tif CAMBRIDGI, APRIL 26.

me, firit begging Mr. Spectator's le

that the world may fee it, briefly tod BELIEVING you to be an univer, upon fome of my chief observation

sal encourager of liberal arts and and then subscribe myself your hun sciences, and gład of any information servant. In the firn place, I Mall from the learned world, I thought an you two or three of their inaxims: account of a sect of philosophers very · fundamental one, upon which their whe frequent among us, but not taken notice systein is built, is this, viz. That tig of, as far as I can remember, by any being an implacable enemy to and del writers either ancient or modern, would froyer of all things, ought to be part not be unacceptable to you. The phi- in his own coin, and be destroyed all Josophers of this feet are in the lan- murdered without mercy, by all the guage of our university called Lowngers. ways that can be invented. Another man I am of opinion, that, as in many other favourite saying of theirs is, Theoriens things, so likewise in this, the ancients business was designed only for knarest have been defective; vit. in mentioning and finly for blockheads. A third.com no philosophers of this fort. Some in- seems to be a ludicrous one, but has a lead to deed will affirm that they are a kind of great effect upon their lives; and is this Peripatetics, because we see them conti That the devil is at home.' Now mually walking about. But I would for their manner of living: and here to go have these gentlemen contider, that have a large tield to expatiate in; but though the ancient Peripateties walked mall reserve particulars for my

intended much, yet they wrote much also; wit. dilcourte, and now only mention one artigo Bels, to the forrow of this fe&t, Aristotle two of their principal exercifes. The strong and others: whereas it is notorivus that elder proficients employ themselves infiada molt of our professors nerer lay out a infpxeting wores hoviinum multorum, in farthing either in pen, ink, or paper. gerting acquainted with all the ligns and Others are for deriving them from Dio. windows in the town. Some are algenes, becaufe feveral of the leading rived to fo great knowledge, that they men of the lećt have a great deal of the can tell every time any butcher kills i cynical humour in thein, and delightcalf, every time an old woman's cat is much in fimihine. But then again, in the straw; and a thousand other inatDiogenes was content to have his con. ters as important. One ancient philoftani habitation in a narrow tub), whildt fopher contemplates two or three hours our philosophers are fo far from being every day over a sun-dial; and is true of his opinion, that it is death to them to the dial to be confined within the limits of a

As the dial to the sun, good, handiome, convenient chamber,

Although it be not fhone upon. but for half an hour. Others there are, who from the clearners of their heads Our younger students are content to deduce the pedigree of Lowngers from carry their speculations as yet no farther that great man, I think it was either

than bowling-greens, billiard-tables, Plato or Socrates, who after all his ftudy and such like places. This may and learning, profetied, that all he then for a sketch of my design; in which 1 knew was, that he knew nothing. You hope I shall have your encouragernent. afily see this is but a hallow argument,

I ain, Sir, yours and may be foon contuted.

I have with great pains and industry I must be lo iuft as to observe I have masłe my observations, from time to formerly teen of this feet at our other time, upon thefe fages; anıl, having now univerfity; though not distinguished by all materials ready, am compiling a the appellation which the learned histotreatise, wherein I shall set forth the rise rian, iny correspondent, reports they and progress of this famous feet, toge. bear at Cambridge. They ther with their muxims, autterities, man. looked upon as a people that impaired ner of living, &c. Having prevailed theinfelves more by their frict applicawith a Miend, who deligus shortly to tions to the rules of their order, than

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other students whatever. Others tolerable figure in the world; with va. ed om hurt themselves any further than riety of drelles in public afsemblies in o kad gain weak eyes, and sometimes head, town, and quick motion of his horses fed abs; but there philosophers are seized out of it, now to Bath, now to Tun. t's

All over with a general inability, indo- bridge, then to Newmarket, and then fly

Jence, and weariness, and a certain im to London, he has in process of time prafatience of the place they are in, with brought it to pafs, that his coach and

an heaviness in removing to another. his horses have been mentioned in all The Lowngers are satisfied with being those places. When the Lowngers merely part of the number of mankind, leave an academic life, and, instead of

without distinguishing themselves from this more elegant way of appearing in has amongft them. They may be said ra the polite world, retire to the feats of

ther to suffer their time to pass, than to their ancestors, they usually join a pack spend it, without regard to the past, or of dogs, and employ their days in deprospect of the future. All they know fending their poultry from foxes: I do of life is only the present instant, and do not know any other method that any of

not tafte even that. When one of this this order has ever taken to make a noile order happens to be a man of fortune, in the world; but I shall inquire into the expence of his time is transferred to such about this town as have arrived at his coach and horses, and his life is to the dignity of being Lowngers by the be measured by their motion, not his force of natural parts, without having own enjoyments or sufferings. The ever seen an university: and send my chief entertainment one of these philofo- correspondent, for the embellishment of phers can possibly propose to himself, is his book, the names and history of those to get a relish of dress. This, me who pass their lives without any in*i. thinks, might diversify the person he is dents at all; and how they shift coffee -weary of, his own dear felf, to himself. houses and chocolate- houses from hour I have known these two amusements to hour, to get over the insupportable make one of these philosophers make a labour of doing nothing.




Pers. Sat. v. 129.



OST of the trades, professions,

and ways of living among mankind, take their original either from the love of pleasure, or the fear of want. The former, when it becomes too violent, degenerates into Luxury, and the latter into Avarice. As these two principles of action draw different ways, Persius has given us a very humorous account of a young fellow who was roused out of his bed, in order to be sent upon a long voyage by Avarice, and afterwards over-persuaded and kept at home by Luxury: I shall set down at length the pleadings of these two imaginary persons, as they are in the ori. ginal, with Mr. Dryden's translation of them.

Et quid ogami Rogitas? Saperdas odvebe

Caftoreum, ftuppas, bebenum, thus,lubrica coa:
Tolle recens primus piper è sitiente camelo.
Verte aliquid; jura. Sed Jupiter audiet.

Baro, reguftatum digito ferebrare salinum
Corten!us perages, fi vivere cum Jove tendis.
Jam pueris pellem succinctus et ænopborum

O cyùs ad novem: nil obftat quin trabe vaså
Ægæum rapias, nifi folers luxuria antè
Seductummoneat; quò deinde infare,ruis?

Quid tibi vis? calido fub pectore mafcula bilis
Istumuit, quam non extinxerit urna cicuta.
Tun' mare tranfilias? Tibitorrâ cannabe fulto
Cæna fie in tranfre? Veientanúmque rubellum
Exbalet vapidâ lafum pice fefilis, obba ?
Quid petis? Ui nummi, quos bic quincunce

Nutrieras, peragant avidos sudare deunces?
Indulge genio: carpamus dulcia: noftrum eft,
Quid vivis, cinis, et meres, er fabulo fies.

Manepiger fertis: surge, inquit Arvaritia; cia
Surge. Negas. Inftei sfurgs, inquit. Non

ques. Surge.

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