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man's disadvantage. I never directly common liars, make-bates, impostors, defame, but I do what is as bad in the and incendiaries. For your instruction consequence, for I have often made a herein, you are to know that an Histo. man say such and such a lively expres- rian in conversation is only a person of fion, who was born a mere elder brother, so pregnant a fancy, that he cannot be When one has said in my hearing, such contented with ordinary occurrences. I a one is no wiser than he should be, I know a man of quality of our order, immediately have replied — Now 'faith, who is of the wrong side of forty-three, ' I cannot see that, he said a very good and has been of that age, according to • thing to my lord such a one, upon Tully's jest, for some years since, whose 'such an occasion,' and the like. Such vein is upon the romantic. 'Give him an honelt dolt as this has been watched the least occasion, and he will tell you in every expression he uttered, upon my something so very particular that haprecommendation of him, and conse- pened in such a year, and in such comquently been subject to the more ridi- pany, where by the by was present such cule. I once endeavoured to cure my a one, who was afterwards made such felf of this impertinent quality, and re a thing. Out of all these circumstances, solved to hold my tongue for seven days in the best language in the world, he together; I did so, but then I had so will join together with such probable ina many winks and unnecessary distortions cidents an account that shews a person of my face upon what any body elle of the deepest penetration, the honestest faid, that I found I only for bore the ex- mind, and withal something so humble pression, and that I still lyed in my heart when he speaks of himself, that you to every man I met with. You are to would admire. Dear Sir, why should know one thing, which I believe you this be lying? There is nothing so in will say is a pity, considering the use I structive. He has withal the graveft should have made of it, I never travel aspect; something so very venerable and led in my life; but I do not know whe. great. Another of these Historians is ther I could have spoken of any foreign a young man whom we would take in, country with more familiarity than I do though he extremely wants parts; as at present, in company who are strangers people send children, before they can to me. I have cursed the inns in Gerlearn any thing, to school to keep them many; commended the brothels in Ve. out of harm's way. He tells things nice; the freedom of conversation in which have nothing at all in them, and France; and though I never was out of can neither please nor displease, but this dear town, and fifty miles about it, merely take up your time to no manner have been three nights together dogged of purpose, no manner of delight; but by bravoes for an intrigue with a cardi- he is good-natured, and does it because nal's mistress at Rome.

he loves to be saying something to you, It were endless to give you particulars and entertain you. of this kind, but I can assure you, Mr. I could name you a soldier that hath Spectator', there are about twenty or done very great things without flaughter; thirty of us in this town, I mean by he is prodigiously dull and Now of head, this town the cities of London and Welt. but what he can say is for ever false, lo mintter; I say there are in town a suffi, that we must have him. cient number of us to make a society Give me leave to tell you of one more among ourselves; and since we cannot who is a lover; he is the moit afflicted be believed any longer, I beg of you to creature in the world, left what hapa print this my letter, that we may meet pened between him and a great beauty. together, and be under such regulation Thould ever be known. Yet again he as there may be no occasion for belief comforts himself. Hang the jade her or confidence among us. If you think

If money can keep the fut fit we might be called The Historians, trusty I will do it, though I mortgage for Liar iš become a very harsh word. 'every acre: Anthony and Cleopatra And that a member of the society may « for that; All for Love and the World not hereafter be ill received by the rest ( well loft.' of the world, I desire you would ex Then, Sir, there is my little merplain a little this sort of men, and not let chant, honest Indigo of the 'Change, us Historians bę ranked, as we are in the there is my man for loss and gain; there imaginations of ordinary people, among is tare and tret, there is lying all round



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the globe; he has such a prodigious intel- 'one such person of quality, lover, fola ligence, he knows all the French are do- dier, or merchant, as I have now de. ing, or what we intend or ought to in- scribed in the whole world, that I know tend, and has it from such hands. But of. But I will catch myfelf once in my alas, whither am I running! while I life, and in spite of nature speak one complain, while I remonstrate to you, truth, to wit, that I am cven all this is a lye, and there is not T

Your humble fervant, &c.







T is no small concern to me, that I when any thing is to be remembered, with

find so many complaints from that a peculiar cast of face he cries Be fure part of mankind whole portion it is to to forget now.' If I am to make hafte live in fervitude, that those whom they back~ Do not come these two hours; depend upon will not allow them to be • be sure to call by the way upon some even as happy as their condition will of your companions.' Then another admit of. There are, as these unhappy excellent way of his is, if he sets me correspondents inform me, masters who any thing to do, which he knows muft are offended at a chearful countenance, neceffarily take up half a day, he calls and think a fervant is broke loose from ten times in a quarter of an hour to them, if he does not preserve the utinoft know whether I have done yet. This awe in their presence. There is one is his manner; and the sanie perversewho says, if he looks satished, his ma ness runs through all his actions, ac- , kter alks him what makes him fo pert cording as the circumstances vary. Be. this morning; if a little four-Hark fides all this, he is so suspicious; that

ye, furah, are not you paid your he submits himself to the drudgery of 1

wages?' The poor creatures live in fpy. He is as unhappy hinself as he the most extreme mifery together: the makes his servants: he is constantly inafter knows not how to preserve re watching us, and we differ no more in fpect, nor the servant how to give it. pleasure and liberty than as a gaoler and It seems this person is of fo fullen a na a prifoner. He lays traps for faults, ture, that he knows but little satisfac and no fooner makes a discovery, but tion in the midst of a.plentiful fortune, falls into such language, as I am more and fecretly frets to see any appearance ashamed of for coming from him, than of content, in one that lives upon the for being directed to me. This, Sir, hundredth part of his income, who is is a short sketch of a master I have served unhappy in the poffeflion of the whole. upwards of nine years; and though I Uneasy persons, who cannot possess their have never wronged him, I confess my own minds, vent their spleen upon all despair of pleafing him has very much who depend upon them; which, I think, abated my endeavour to do it. If you is expressed in a lively manner in the will give me leave to steal a sentence out following letters.

of my master's Clarendon, I mall tell

you my case in a word-Being used SIR,

AUGUST 2, 1711. • worse than I deserved, I cared less to I Have read your Spectator of the third 'deserve well than I had done.'

of the lait month, and wish I had I am, Sir, your humble servant, the happiness of being preferred to serve

RALPH VALET, so good a master as Sir Roger, The character of my master is the very re DEAR MR, SPECTER, verse of that good and gentle knight's: I Am the next thing to a lady's wou All his directions are given, and his man, and am under both my lady mind revealed, by way of contrarics: 16 and her woman. I am fo vied by then


both, t Hat I should be very glad to see them These are great calamities; but I met in the Specter. My lady herself is of no the other day in the Five Fields towards mind in the world, and for that reason Chelsea, a pleasanter tyrant than either her woman is of twenty minds in a mo- of the above represented. A fat fellow ment. My lady is one that never knows was passing on in his open waistcoat; a what to do with herself; the pulls on boy of fourteen in a livery, carrying after and puts off every thing she wears twenty hiin his cloke, upper coat, hat, wig, and times before the resolves upon it for that sword. The poor lad was readyto fink day. I stand at one end of the room, with the weight, and could not keep up and reach things to her woman. When with his matter, who turned back every my lady asks for a thing, I hear and half furlong, and wondered what inade have half brought it, when the woman the lazy young dog lag behind. meets me in the middle of the room to There is fomething very unaccountreceive it, and at that instant she says, able, that people cannot put themselves no she will not have it. Then I go in the condition of the persons below back, and her woman comes up to her, them, when they consider the commands and by this time she will have that and they give. But there is nothing more two or three things more in an instant: common, than to see a fellow, who, if the woman and I run to each other; I he were reduced to it, would not be am loaded and delivering the things to hired by any man living, lament that her, when my lady says she wants none he is troubled with the inolt worthless of all these things, and we are the dullest dogs in nature. creatures in the world, and the the un It would, perhaps, be running too bappiest woman living, for the shall not far out of conimon life to urge, that he be dresled in any time. Thus we stand who is not matter of himtelf and his not knowing what to do, when our good own pafsions cannot be a proper master lady with all the patience in the world of another. Equanimity in a man's tells us as plain as she can speak, that own words and actions, will easily difthe will have temper because we have fufe itself througlı his whole family. no manner of understanding; and begins Pamphilio has the happiest houshold of again to dress, and see if we can find out any man I know, and that proceeds of ourselves what we are to do. When from the humane regard he has to them the is dressed she goes to dinner, and after in their private persons, as well as in reshe has disliked everything there, the calls fpect that they are his servants. If there for her coach, then commands itin again, be any occasion, wherein they may in and then she will not goout at all, and then themselves be supposed to be unfit to atwilgotoo, and orders the chariot. Now, tend their master's concerns, by reagood Mr. Specter, I desire you would son of any attention to their own, he is in the behalf of all who serve froward so good as to place himself in their con. ladies, give out in your paper, that no dition. I thought it very becoming in thing can be done without allowing him, when at dinner the other day he time for it, and that one cannot be back made an apology for want of more atagain with what one was sent for, if one tendants. · He said—' One of my foot. is called back before one can go a step * men is gone to the wedding of his fifter, for that they want. And you please, and the other I do not expect to wait, let them know that all mistreffes are as because his father died but two days like as all servants. I am your loving ago.

T friend,








NE meets now and then with per. Tully tells us of an author that spent some

fons who are extremely learned pages to prove that generals could not and knotty in expounding clear cases. perform the great enterpriles which have

2 L. 2


made them fo illustrious, if they had It is na sinal! misfortune to any whe not had men. He asserted alio, it seems, have a just value for their time, when that a minister at home, no more than a this quality of being so very circumftancommander abroad, could do any thing tial, and careful to be exact, happens to without other men were his instruments Thew itself in a man whose quality oband asistants. On this occasion he pro- liges them to attend his proofs, that it duces the example of Themistocles, Pe. is now day, and the like. But this ricles, Cyrus, and Alexander himself, augmented when the same genius gets whom he denies to have bten capable into authority, as it often does. Nay, of effecting what they did, except they I have known it more than once ascend had been followed by others. It is the very pulpit. One of this fort taking pleasant enough to see such persons con it in his head to be a great admirer of Lend without opponents, and triumph Dr. Tillotson and Dr. Beveridge, never without victory:

failed of proving out of these great auThe author above-mentioned by the thors things which no man living would orator is placed for ever in a very ridi. have denied him upon his own sing e culous light, and we ineet every day in authority. One day resolving to come conversation such as deserve the faine to the point in hand, he faid, according kind of renown, for troubling those to that excellent divine I will enter with whom they converse with the like upon the matter;' or in his words, in certainties. The persons that I have his Sfteenth sermon of the folio edition, always thought to deserve the highest page 160. admiration in this kind are your ordi

• I shall briefly explain the words, and nary story-tellers, who are the most re

then consider the matter contained in ligiously careful of keeping to the truth

thein.' in every particular circumstance of a narration, whether it concern the main This honest gentleman needed not, end or not.

A gentleman whom I had one would think, strain his modesty fo the honour to be in company with the far as to alter his design of entering other day, upon some occasion that he

upon the matter,' to that of • briefly was pleased to take, said, he remem ' explaining.' But so it was, that he bered a very pretty repartee made by a would not even be contented with that very witty inan in King Charles's time authority, but added also the other diupon the like occasion. I remember,' vine to itrengthen his method; and told said he, upon entering into the tale, us, with the pious and learned Dr. Be• much about the time of Oates's plot, veridge, page 4th of his gth volume " that a coulin-german of mine and I " I fall endeavour to make it as plain r were at the Bear in Holbourn: no, I

as I can from the words which I have am out it was at the Cross - Keys; now read, wherein for that purpose but Jack Thomson was there, for he we shall consider - This wiseacre

was very great with the gentleman who was reckoned by the parish, who did not * made the answer. But I am fure it understand him, a most excellent preacha

was spoken somewhere thereabouts, er; but that he read too much, and was • for we drank a bottle in that neigh- "so humble that he did not trust enough • bourhood every evening; but no mat to his own parts.

for all that, the thing is the same; Next to these ingenious gentlemen, < but

who argue for what nobody can deny He was going on to settle the geogra- them, are to be ranked a sort of people phy of the jest when I left the room, who do not indeed attempt to prove inwondering at this odd turn of head which fignificant things, but are ever labourcan play away it's words, with uttering ing to raise arguments with you about nothing to the purpole, still observing matters you will give up to them withit's own impertinences, and yet proceed out the least controversy. One of these ing in them. I do not question but he people told a gentleman who said he saw informed the rest of his audience, whio Mr. fuch a one go this morning at nine had more patience than 1, of the birth of the clock towards the Gravel-pits and parentage, as well as the collateral • Sir, I must beg your pardon for that, alliances of his family, who made the • for though I am very loth to have any repartee, and of him who provoked him dispute with you, yet I must take the

liberty io tell you it was nine when I

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to it,

' faw him at St. James's. When men Lillie's, perfumer, at the corner of Beauof this genius are pretty far gone in fort Buildings in the Strand, and atlearning, they will put you to prove that tendance given for the benefit of the snow is white, and when you are upon young merchants about the Exchange that topic can say that there is really no for two hours every day at noon, exsuch thing as colour in nature; in, a cept Saturdays, at a toy-shop near Garword, they can turn what little know- raway's coffee house. There will be ledge they have into a ready capacity of likewise taught the ceremony of the railing doubts; into a capacity of being snuff-box, or rules for offering snuff to always frivolous and always unanswer a stranger, a friend, or a mittrels, acable. It was of two disputants of this cording to the degrees of familiarity or impertinent and laborious kind that the distance; with an explanation of the cynic faid-One of these fellows is careless, the scornful, the politic, and o'milking a ram, and the other holds the the furly pinch, and the gestures proper pail.

to each of them.

N. B. The undertaker does not

question but in a short time to have THE exercise of the snuff-box, ac formed a body of regular snuff-boxes cording to the most fashionable airs and ready to meet and make head against all motions, in opposition to the exercise of the regiment of fans which have been the fan, will be taught with the best lately disciplined, and are now in moplain or perfumed snuff, at Charles tion.


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Oh amanhef affections which attend


nour. The young monarch's heart was human life, the love of glory is by such conversation easily deluded into the most ardent. According as this is a' fondness for vain-glory, and upon cultivated in princes, it produces the these unjust principles to form or fall in greatest good or the greatest evil. Where with suitable projects of invasion, ralovereigns have it by impressions re pine, murder, and all the guilts that atceived from education only, it creates tend war when it is unjust. At the an ambitious rather than a noble mind; same time this tyranny was laid, sciwhere it is the natural bent of the ences and arts were encouraged in the prince's inclination, it prompts him to molt generous manner, as if men of the pursuit of things truly glorious. higher faculties were to be bribed to perThe two greatelt men now in Europe, mit the massacre of the rest of the world. according to the common acceptation of Every superstructure which the court of the word Great, are Lewis King of France built upon their first designs, France, and Peter Emperor of Ruffia. which were in themselves vicious, was As it is certain that all fame does not suitable to it's false foundation. The arise from the practice of virtue, it is, oftentation of riches, the vanity of equimethinks, no unpleasing amulement to page, Ahame of poverty, and ignorance examine the glory of these potentates, of modesty, were the common arts of and distinguish that which is empty, life; the generous love of one woman perifhing, and frivolous, from what is was changed into gallantry for all the lolid, lasting, and important. Lewis of sex, and friendships among men turned France had his infancy attended by into commerces of interest, or mere procrafty and worldly men, who made exa fellions, 'While there were the rules tent of territory the most glorious in ' of life, perjuries in the prince, and a fance of power, and mistook the spread 'general corruption of manners in the ing of fame for the acquisition of hoe Jubject, were the Inares in which France

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