N° CXCVI. MONDAY, OCTOBER 15. EST ULUBRIS, ANIMUS SI TE NON DEFICIT EQUUS. HOR. EP. II. LIB. 1. VER. 30. TRUE HAPPINESS IS TO NO PLACE CONFIN'D, MR. SPECTATOR, TH A HERE is a particular fault which I have observed in most of the moralifts in all ages, and that is, that they are always profeffing themfelves and teaching others to be happy. This ftate is not to be arrived at in this life; therefore I would recommend to you to talk in an humbler ftrain than your predeceffors have done, and inftead of prefuming to be happy, inftruct us only to be eafy. The thoughts of him who would be difcreet and aim at practicable things, fhould turn upon allaying our pain rather than promoting our joy. Great inquietude is to be avoided, but great felicity is not to be attained. The great leffon is equanimity, a regularity of fpirit, which is a little above chearfulness, and below mirth. Chearfulness is always to be. fupported if a man is out of pain, but mirth to a prudent man fhould always be accidental: it fhould naturally arife out of the occafion, and the occafion feldom be laid for it; for those tempers who want mirth to be pleased, are like the conftitutions which flag without the ufe of brandy. There fore, I fay, let your precept be- Be eafy. That mind is diffolute and ungoverned, which must be hurried out of itfelf by loud laughter or fenfual pleafure, or elfe be wholly unactive. There are a couple of old fellows of my acquaintance who meet every day and smoke a pipe, and by their mutual love to each other, though they have been men of bufinefs and buftie in the world, enjoy a greater tranquillity than either could have worked himself into by any chapter of Seneca. Indolence of body and mind, when we aim at no more, is very frequently enjoyed; but the very inquiry after happinets has L fomething reftlefs in it, which a man who lives in a series of temperate meals, friendly converfations, and easy flumbers, gives himself no trouble about. While men of refinement are talking of tranquillity, he poffeffes it. What I would by thefe broken expreffions recommend to you, Mr. Spectator, is, that you would fpeak of the way of life, which plain men may purfue, to fill up the fpaces of time with fatisfaction. It is a lamentable circumftance, that wisdom, or, as you call it, philofophy, fhould furnish ideas only for the learned; and that a man must be a philofopher to know how to pass away his time agreeably. It would therefore be worth your pains to place in an handfome light the relations and affinities among men, which render their converfation with each other fo grateful, that the highest talents give but an impotent pleasure in comparison with them. You may find defcriptions and difcourfes which will render the fire-fide of an honeft artificer as entertaining as your own club is to you. Good-nature has an endlefs fource of pleafures in it; and the reprefentation of domeftic life filled with it's natural gratifications, (inftead of the neceffary vexations which are generally infifted upon in the writings of the witty) will be a very good office to fociety. The viciffitudes of labour and rest in the lower part of mankind make their being pafs away with that fort of relish which we exprefs by the word Comfort; and should be treated of by you, who are a Spectator, as well as fuch fubjects which appear indeed more speculative, but are lefs inttructive. In a word, Sir, I would have you turn your thoughts to the advantage of fuch as want you moft; moft; and thew that fimplicity, innocence, industry, and temperance, are arts which lead to tranquillity, as much as learning, wifdom, knowledge, and contemplation. I am, Sir, your moft humble fervant, I Am the young woman whom you did fo much justice to fome time ago, in acknowledging that I am perfect mif trefs of the fan, and use it with the utmoft knowledge and dexterity. Indeed the world, as malicious as it is, will allow, that from an hurry of laughter I recollect myself the moft fuddenly, make a curtefy, and let fall my hands before me, clofing my fan at the fame inftant, the best of any woman in England. I am not a little delighted that I have had your notice and approbation; and how ever other young women may rally me out of envy, I triumph in it, and demand a place in your friendship. You must therefore permit me to lay before you the prefent ftate of my mind. I was reading your Spectator of the ninth inftant, and thought the circumftance of the afs divided between two bundles of hay which equally affected his fenfes, was a lively reprefentation of my prefent Ε condition: for you are to know that I am extremely enamoured with two young gentlemen who at this time pretend to me. One muft hide nothing when one is afking advice, therefore I will own to you that I am very amorous and very covetous. My lover Will is very rich, and my lover Tom very handfome. I can have either of them when I please: but when I debate the question in my own mind, I cannot take Tom for fear of lofing Will's eftate; nor enter upon Will's eftate, and bid adieu to Tom's perfon. I am very young, and yet no one in the world, dear Sir, has the main chance more in her head than myfelf. Tom is the gayeft, the blitheft creature! He dances well, is very civil and diverting at all hours and feasons. Oh, he is the joy of my eyes! But then again, Will is fo very rich and careful of the main. How many pretty dresses does Tom appear in to charm me! But then it immediately occurs to me, that a man of his circumftances is so much the poorer. Upon the whole, I have at laft examined both these defires of N° CXCVII. TUESDAY, OCTOBER 16. ALTER RIXATUR DE LANA SÆPE CAPRINA, ET HOR. EP. XVIII. LIB. 2. VER.15 ONE STRIVES FOR TRIFLES, AND FOR TOYS CONTENDS:"!! AND NOT BAWL WHAT I PLEASE TO PART WITH THIS, 1 THINK ANOTHER LIFE TO0 MEAN A PRICE.' THE QUESTION IS PRAY, WHAT?'-WHY, WHICH CAN BOAST, VERY age a man paffes through, and way of life he engages in, has fome particular vice or imperfection naturally cleaving to it, which it will re of the poets and philofophers; but I do not remember to have met with any author who has treated of thofe ill habits men are fubject to, not so much by reafon of their different ages and tempers, as the particular profeffion or business in which they were educated and brought up. I am the more furprised to find this fubject fo little touched on, fince what I am here fpeaking of is fo apparent, as not to escape the most vulgar abserva. tion. The bufiness men are chiefly converfant in, does not only give a certain caft or turn to their minds, but is very often apparent in their outward behaviour, and fome of the moft indifferent actions of their lives. It is this air dif. fufing itself over the whole man, which helps us to find out a perfon at his first appearance; fo that the most careless obferver fancies he can scarce be mistaken in the carriage of a feaman or the gait of a taylor. The liberal arts, though they may poffibly have less effect on our external mien and behaviour, make fo deep an impreffion on the mind, as is very apt to bend it wholly one way. The mathematician will take little lefs than demonftration in the most common difcourfe, and the fchoolman is as great a friend to definitions and fyllogifms. The phyfician and divine are often heard to dictate in private companies with the fame authority which they exercise over their patients and difciples; while the lawyer is putting cafes and raising matter for difputation out of every thing that occurs. I may poffibly fome time or other animadvert more at large on the particular fault each profeffion is most infected with; but fhall at prefent wholly apply myself to the cure of what I laft mentioned, namely that fpirit of strife and contention in the converfations of gentlemen of the long robe. This is the more ordinary, becaufe thefe gentlemen regarding argument as their own proper province, and very often making ready-money of it, think it unfafe to yield before company. They are fhewing in common talk how zealoufly they could defend a caufe in court, and therefore frequently forget to keep that temper which is abfolutely requifite to render converfation pleafant and inAructive. Captain Sentry pushes this matter fo far, that I have heard him fay, he has known but few pleaders that were tole» rable company. The captain, who is a man of good fenfe, but dry converfation, was laft night giving me an account of a difcourse, in which he had lately been engaged with a young wrangler in the law. I was giving my opinion,' fays the captain, without apprehending any debate that might arife from it, of a general's behaviour in a battle that was fought fome years before either the Templar or myfelf were born. The young lawyer immediately took me up, and by reafoning above a quarter of an hour upon a fubject which I 'faw he understood nothing of, endeavoured to fhew me that my opinions were ill-grounded. Upon which,' fays the captain, to avoid any farther contefts, I told him, that truly I had not 'confidered thofe feveral arguments ⚫ which he had brought against me, and that there might be a great deal in them.-"Ay, but," fays my antagonift, who would not let me efcape fo, "there are feveral things to be "urged in favour of your opinion, "which you have omitted;" and thereupon begun to fhine on the other fide 6 of the question. Upon this,' fays the captain, I came over to my first fenti'ments, and entirely acquiefced in his reafons for my fo doing. Upon which the Templar again recovered 'his former pofture, and confuted both himself and me a third time. In short,' fays my friend, I found he was refolved to keep me at fword's length, and never let me clofe with him, fo that I had nothing left but to hold my 'tongue, and give my antagonist free leave to fmile at his victory, who I found, like Hudibras, "could ftill "change fides, and ftill confute." For my own part, I have ever regarded our inns of court as nurseries of tatefmen and law-givers, which makes me often frequent that part of the town with great pleasure. Upon my calling in lately at one of the most noted Temple coffee-houses, I found the whole room, which was full of young students, divided into feveral parties, each of which was deeply engaged in fome controverfy. The management of the late miniftry was attacked and defended with great vigour; and feveral preliminaries to the peace were were propofed by fome, and rejected by others; the demolishing of Dunkirk was fo eagerly infifted on, and fo warmly controverted, as had like to have produced a challenge. In fhort, I obferved that the defire of victory, whetted with the little prejudices of party and intereft, generally carried the argument to fuch a height, as made the difputants infenfibly conceive an averfion towards each other, and part with the highett diffatiffaction on both fides. The managing an argument handfomely being fo nice a point, and what I have seen fo very few excel in, I fhall here fet down a few rules on that head, which, among other things, I gave in writing to a young kinfiman of mine, who had made fo great a proficiency in the law, that he began to plead in company upon every fubject that was started. Having the entire manufcript by me, I may, perhaps, from time to time, publish fuch parts of it as I fhall think requifite for the instruction of the British youth. What regards my prefent purpofe is as follows: Avoid difputes as much as poffible. In order to appear easy and well-bred in converfation, you may affure yourself that it requires more wit, as well as more good-humour, to improve than to contradict the notions of another: but if you are at any time obliged to enter on an argument, give your reafons with the utmost coolness and modefty, two things which fearce ever fail of making an impreffion on the hearers. Befides, if you are neither dogmatical, nor fhew either by your actions or words, that you are full of yourself, all will the more heartily rejoice at your victory. Nay, fhould you be pinched in your argument, you may make your retreat with a very good grace: you were never pofitive, and are now glad to be better informed. This has made fome approve the Socratical way of reafoning, where while you fearce affirm any thing, you can hardly be caught in an abfurdity; and though poffibly you are endeavouring to bring over another to your opinion, which is firmly fixed, you feem only to delire information from him. In order to keep that temper which is fo difficult, and yet fo necellary to preferve, you may please to confider, that nothing can be more unjuft or ridiculous, than to be angry with another be caufe he is not of your opinion. The interefts, education, and means, by which men attain their knowledge, are fo very different, that it is impoffible they should all think alike; and he has at least as much reafon to be angry with you, as you with him: Sometimes, to keep yourself cool, it may be of service to ask yourself fairly, what might have been your opinion, had you all the biafes of education and interest your adversary may poffibly have? But if you' contend for the honour of victory alone, you may lay down this as an infallible maxim, that you cannot make a more falfe ftep, or give your antagonists a greater advantage over you, than by falling into a paffion. When an argument is over, how many weighty reafons does a man recollect, which his heat and violence made him utterly forget! It is yet more abfurd to he angry with a man because he does not appre hend the force of your reafons, or give weak ones of his own. If you argue for reputation, this makes your victory the eafier; he is certainly in all respects an object of your pity, rather than anger; and if he cannot comprehend what you do, you ought to thank Nature for her favours, who has given you so much the clearer understanding. You may please to add this confideration, that among your equals no one values your anger, which only preys upon it's mafter; and perhaps you may find it is not very confiftent either with prudence or your ease, to punish yourfelf whenever you meet with a fool er a knave. Laftly, If you propofe to yourself the true end of argument, which is information, it may be a feasonable check to your paffion; for if you fearch purely after truth, it will be almost indifferent to you where you find it. I cannot in this place omit an obfervation which I have often made, namely, that nothing procures a man more etteem and lefs envy from the whole company, than if he chufes the part of moderator, without engaging directly on either fide in a difpute. This gives him the character of impartial, fpifhes him with an opportunity of fifting things to the bottom, thewing his judgment, and of fometimes making handíome compliments to each of the contending parties. I fhall WE, LIKE THE STAG, THE BRINDED WOLF PROVOKE, a fpecies of women, ANON. are not of the Salamander kind, I THERE is 31 Detinguifh by the would moft carneftly advife them to Mame of Salamanders. Now a Salamander is a kind of heroine in chastity, that treads upon fire, and lives in the midft of flames without being hurt. A Salamander knows no diftinction of fex in those the converfes with, grows familiar with a stranger at first fight, and is not fo narrow-fpirited as to obferve whether the perfon fhe talks to be in breeches or petticoats. She admits a male vifitant to her bed-fide, plays with him a whole afternoon at piquet, walks with him two or three hours by moonlight, and is extremely fcandalized at the unreasonableness of an husband, or the feverity of a parent, that would debar the fex from fuch innocent liberties. Your Salamander is therefore a perpetual declaimer against jealousy, and admirer of the French good-breeding, and a great stickler for freedom in converfation. In short, the Salamander lives in an invincible ftate of fimplicity and innocence; her conftitution is preferved in a kind of natural froft; the wonders what people mean by temptations, and defies mankind to do their wort. Her chastity is engaged in a conftant ordeal, or fiery trials: like good Queen Emma, the pretty innocent walks blindfold among burning plough. fhares, without being icorched, or finged by them. It is not therefore for the use of the Salamander, whether in a married or fingle state of life, that I defign the following paper; but for fuch feinales only as are made of flesh and blood, and find themselves fubject to human frailties. As for this part of the fair-fex who obferve a quite different conduct in their behaviour; and to avoid as much as poffible what religion calls temptations, and the world opportunities. Did they but know how many thousands of their fex have been gradually betrayed from innocent freedoms to ruin and infamy; and how many millions of ours have begun with flatteries, proteftations, and endearments, but ended with reproaches, perjury, and perfidioufnefs; they would fhun like death the very firit approaches of one that might lead them into inextricable labyrinths of guilt and mifery. I must fo far give up the caufe of the male world, as to exhort the female fex, in the language of Chamont in the Orphan Truft not a man, we are by nature falfe, Diffembling, fubtle, cruel, and unconftan'; When a man talks of love,with caution traft him; But if he fwears, he'll certainly deceive thee. I might very much enlarge upon this fubject, but fhall conclude it with a story which I lately heard from one of our Spanish officers, and which may thew the danger a woman incurs by too great familiarities with a male companion. An inhabitant of the kingdom of Caftile, being a man of more than ordinary prudence, and of a grave compofed behaviour, determined, about the fiftieth year of his age to enter upon wedlock. In order to make himfelf eafy in it, he caft his eye upon a young woman who had nothing to recommend her but her beauty and her education, her parents having been reduced to great 3 C poverty |