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fire of all the parties injured, as from at the same time the apes may be sen ja my own inclination. I hope, Sir, if ble, that this sort of mirth is so far froma you cannot propose intirely to reform an innocent diversion, that it is in the this evil, you will take fuch notice of it highest degree that vice which is faid to in some of your future fpeculations, as comprehend all others. I am, Sir, your may put the deserving part of our sex on humble servant, their guard against theie creatures, and T
No CCXLV. TUESDAY, DECEMBER II.
FICTA VOLUPTATIS CAUSA SINT PROXIMA VERIS.
HoR. ARS POET, VER. 333. FICTIONS, TO PLEASE, SHOULD WEAR THE FACE OF TRUTH.
HERE is nothing which one re It is with an eye to my following cor
gards so much with an eye of respondent, Mr. Timothy Doodle, who mirth and pity as innocence, when it seems a very well-meaning man, that I has in it a dath of folly. At the same have written this short preface, to which time that one esteems the virtue, one is I Thall subjoin a letter from the said Mr. tempted to laugh at the fimplicity which Doodle. accompanies it. When a inan is made up wholly of the dove, without the least grain of the ferpent in his
compofition, I Could heartily wish that you would hic becoines ridiculous in
circum let us know your opinion upon fevefances of life, and very often difcredits ral innocent diverfions which are in ufe his best actions. The Cordeliers tell a among us, and which are very proper te ftory of their founder St. Francis, that pass away a winter night for thole who do as he pasiel the streets in the duik of the not care to throw away their tiine at an evening, he discovered a young fellow opera, or at the play-house. I would with a maid in a corner; upon which the gladly know in particular, what notion good man, tay they, lifted up his hands you have of hot-cockles; as also wheto Ileaven with a feciet thank giving, ther you think that questions and comthat there was still so much chriftian mands, mottoes, siiniles, and cross. clivity in the would. The innocence of purposes, have not more mirth and wit the faint made hin millake the kiss of a in them, than those public diversions lover for a falute of charity. I am which are grown fo very fashionable heartily concerned when I see a virtuous among us. If you would recommend man without a competent knowledge of to our wives and daughters, who read the world; and if there be any use of these your papers with a great deal of plea. my papers, it is this, that without re fure, some of those sports and pastimes prelenting vice under any false alluring that may be practised within doors, and notions, they give my reader an infight by the fire-side, we who are matters of into the ways of men, and represent lu- fainilies should be hugely obliged to man nature in all it's changeable co you. I need not tell you that I would lours. The man who has not been en have these sports and pastimes not only gaged in any of the fullies of the world, merry but innocent, for which reason I or, as Shakespeare expresies it, ' hack. have not mentioned whisk or lanterloo,
neyed in the ways of men,' may here nor indeed so much as one-and-thirty. find a picture of it's follies and extrava After having communicated to you my gancies. The virtuous and the innocent request upon this subject, I will be lo inay know in fpeculation what they free as to tell you how niy wife and I could never arrive at by practice, and pass away these tedious winter evenings by this means avoid the inares of the with a great deal of pleasure. Though crafty, the corruptions of the vicious, the be young and handsome, and gcod. and the reasonings of the prejudiced. humoured to a miracle, te does not Their minds may be opened without care for gadding abroad like others of being vitiated,
her sex, "There is a very friendly man,
a colonel in the arny, whom I ain migh- many a brave fellow, who carries his tily obliged to for his civilities, that mitress in the lid of his inuff-box, and
comes to see me almost every night; for by that expedient has supported himself pl he is not one of those giddy young fel- under the absence of a whole campaign. lati lows that cannot live out of a play. For my own part, I have tried all these
house. When we are together, we very remedies, but never found so much beoften make a party at blind-man's buff, nefit from any as from a ring, in which , which is a sport that I like the better, my mistress's hair is platted together because there is a good deal of exercile very artificially in a kind of true lover's
in it. The colonel and I are blinded knot. As I have received great benefit RB by turns, and you would laugh your from this secret, I think myself obliged
heart out to fee what pains my dear takes to communicate it to the public, for the
to hoodwink us, so that it is impossible good of my fellow subjects. I delire T, it for us to see the least glimple of light. you will add this letter as an appendix
The poor colonel fometimes hits his to your consolations upon absence; and
THIS will give you to understand, The following letter was occafioned that there is at present in the society, by my last Thuriday's paper upon the whereof I am a member, a very considera abtence of lovers, and the methods able body of Trojans, who, upon a proper therein mentioned of making such ab. o cafion, would not fail to declare outfence fupportable.
feives. In the mean while we do all we can to annoy our enemies by stratagem,
and are resolved by the first opportunity AMONG the feveral ways of conso
to attack Mr. Joshua Barnes, whom we lation which absent lovers make use look upon as the Achilles of the oppn. of while their fouls are in that itate of lite party. As for myself, I have had departure, which you say is death in the reputation ever since I came from love, there are fome very inaterial ones school, of being a trusty Trojan, and that have escaped your notice. Among am resolved never to give quarter to the there, the fisit and most received is a imallest particle of Greek, wherever I crooked thilling, which administer- chance to meet it. It is for this reason ed great comfort to our forefathers, and I take it very ill of you, that you foineis itill made use of on this occasion with times hang out Greek colours at the very good effect in moit part of her ma head of your paper, and sometimes give jesty's dominions. There are lome, I a word of the enemy even in the body know, who think a crown-piece cut into of it. When I meet with any thing of two equal parts, and preserved by the this nature, I throw down your specu. distant lovers, is of more sovereign vir- lations upon the table, with that form tue than the former. But since opinions of words which we make use of when are divided in this particular, why may we declare war upon an author. not the same persons make use of both?
Græcum est, non poteft legi. . The figure of a heart, whether cut in stone or cait in metal, whether bleeding I give you this hint, that you may for upon an altar, ituck with darts, or held the future abstain from any such hoftia in the hand of a Cupid, has always been tries at your peril, looked upon as talismanic in distrefies C
TROILUS. of this nature. I am acquainted with
No CCXLVI. WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 12.
ουκ άρα σοι γε στατήρ ήν ππότα Πηλεύς,
Hom. ILIAD. X91. F.336
in a different ground, or like a graft S
page of the tea-table, I conjure serve, that'a lamb fucking a goat changes yon to print what I now write to you; very much it's na'ure, nay even it's tkin for I have no other way to communicare and wool into the goat kind? The what I have to say to the fair sex on the power of a nurse over a child, by infor. molt important circumitance of life, even ing into it, with her milk, her qualities the care of children. I do not under and disposition, is fufficiently and daily stand that you profess your paper is als observed; hence came that old faving ways to consid of matters which are concerning an ill-natured and malicious only to entertain the learned and polite, fellow, that he had imbibed his milice but that it may agree with your design with his nurse's milk, or that some brute to publish fome which may tend to the or other had been his nurse. Hence information of mankind in general; and Romulus and Remus were said to have when it does so, you do more than writ. been nursed by a wolf, Telephus the fon ing wit and hunour. Give ine leave of Hercules by a hind, Pelias the son then to tell you, that of all the abuses of Neptune by a mare, and Ægisthus that ever you have as yet endeavoured by a goat; not that they had actually to reform, certainly not one wanted to fucked such creatures, as some timple. much your allistance as the abuse in tons have imagined, but that their nurses nursing children. It is unmerciful to had been of such a nature and temper, fee, that a woman endowed with all the and infused such into them. perfections and bleslings of nature, can, Many instances may be produced from as soon as she is delivered, turn off her good authorities and daily experience, innocent, tender, and helpless infant, that children a&tually fuck in the serata and give it up to a woman that is, ten passions and depraved, inclinations - of thousand to one, neither in health nor their nurses, as anger, malice, fear, megood condition, neither found in min: Jancholy, facinets, defire, and averfion. nor body, that has neither boncur nor This Diodorus, lib. i. witnefles, when reputation, neither love nor pity for the he fpeaks, saying, that Nero the empepoor babe, but more regard for the mo. ror's nurse had been very much addict.
ney than for the child, and never willed to drinking; which habit Nero re: take farther care of it than what by all ceived from his nurse, and was fo very
the encouragement of money and pre- particular in this, that the people took fents she is forced to; like Æsop's eaith, so much notice of it, as instead of Tibewhich would not nurse the plant of an rius Nero, they called him Biberius other ground, although never so much Mero. The fame Diodorus also relates improved, by reason that plant was not of Caligula, predeceffor to Nero, that of it's own production. And since an. his nurle ufed to moisten the nipples of other's child is no more natural to a nurse her breaft frequently with blood, to make than a plant to a strange and different Caligula take the better hold of chem; ground, how can it be supposed that the which,' says Diodorus,' was the caule child should thrive? And if it thrives, that made him to blood-thirsty and must it not imbibe the gross humours cruel all his life-time after, that he and qualities of the nurie, like a plant not only committed frequent murder
.by his own hand, but likewise wished the vapours and future miscarriages,
that all human kind wore but one much beyond any other remedy what
neck, that he might have the pleasure foever: her children will be like giants, 'to cut it off. Such like degeneracies whereas otherwise they are but living astonish the parents, who not knowing shadows, and like unripe fruit; and cerafter whom the child can take, see one tainly if a woman is strong enough to incline to stealing, another to drinking, bring forth a child, the is beyond all cruelty, Itupidity į yet all these are not doubt strong enough to nurse it afterminded. Nay, it is easy to demonstrate, wards. It grieves me to observe and that a child, although it be born from consider how many poor children are the best of parents, may be corrupted by daily ruined by careless nurs-s; and yet an ill-tempered nurse. How many chil. how tender ought they to be of a poor dren do we fee daily brought into fits, infant, since the least hurt or blow, elpeconsumptions, rickets, &c. merely by cially upon the head, may make it fentefucking their nurses when in a paslion less, ftupid, or otherwise iniserable for or fury? But indeed alınost any diror- ever? der of the nurse is a disorder to the But I cannot well leave this subject child, and few nurses can be found in as yet; for it seems to me very unnaturaly, this town but what labour under fome that a woman that has fed a child as distemper or other. The first question part of herself for nine months, Mould that is generally asked a young woman have no desire to nurse it farther, when that wants to be a nurse, why the should brought to light and before her eyes, be a nurse to other people's children? is and when by it's cry it implores her answered, by her having an ill husband, assistance and the office of a mother. Do and that the mult make thift to live. í not the very cruelleft of brutes tend their think now this very answer is enough to young ones with all the care and delight give any body a shock, if duly consi- imaginable? For how can the be called dered; for an ill husband may, or ten to
a mother that will not nurse her young one if he does not, bring home to his ones? The earth is called the mother of wife an ill disteinper, or at least vexa all things, not because the produces, but tion and disturbance. Behdes, as she because the maintains and nurses what takes the child out of mere necessity, her the produces. The generation of the food will be accordingly, or elle very infant is the effekt of delire, but the care 60 ir le at belt; whence proceeds an ills of it argues virtue and choice. lam concocted and coarse food for the child; not ignorant but that there are some for as the blood, jo is the milk; ani cales of necellity wliere a mother cannot hence I am very well allured proceeds give fuck, and then out of two evils the the scurvy, the evil, and many other fenit must be cholen; but there are so durtempers. I beg of you, for the fake very few, that I am furre in a thousand of the many poor infants that may and there is hardly one real instance
; for if will be saved by weighing this cate se.
a womay does but know that he: hula sivully, to exhort the people with the band can spare about three or fix thil. umoti vehemence to let the children lings a week extraordinary, although fuck their own mothers, both for the this is but feldom confidered, the cera benefit of mother and child. For the tainly, with the ailistance of her gollips, general argument, that a mother is will soon persuade the good man to tend weakened by giving luck to her chil. the child to nurse, and easily impose dien, is vain and limple; I will main. upon him by pretending indifpofition. gain that the mother grows ftronger by This cruelty is fupported by fashion, it, and will have her health better than and nature gives place to custoin. Sir, the would have otherwise : the will find
Your humble servant. it the greatest cure and preservative for
No CCXLVII., THURSDAY, DECEMBER 13,
-Τών δ' ακάματος ρέει αίδη
E are told by fome ancient au in another; laughed at her in a third;
thors, that Socrates was ine wondered at her in a fourth; was angry structed in eloquence by a woman, whose with her in a fifth; and, in short, wole vame, if I am not mistaken, was Aspa- out a pair of coach-horses in expressing ria. I have indeed very often locked her concern for her. At length, after upon that art as the most proper for the having quite exhausted the lubject on female sex, and I think the universities this fide, the made a visit to the new. would do well to consider whether they married pair, praifed the wife for the Thould not fill the rbrtoric chairs, with prudent choice she had made, told her The professors.
the unreasonable reflections which some li has been said in the praise of some malicious people had caft upon her, and men, that they could talk whole hours' desired that they might be better actogether upon any thing; but it must be quainted. The censure and approbaowned to the honour of the other fex, tion of this kind of women are therefore that there are many among them who only to be considered as helps to dilcan talk whole hours together upon no course. thing. I have known a woman branch A third kind of female orators may out into a long extempore differtation be comprehended under the word Gol. upon the edging of a petticoat, and chide fips. Mrs. Fiddle Faddle is perfectly her servant for breaking a china cup, in accomplithed in this fort of eloquence; all the figures of rhetoric.
the launches out into descriptions of Were women admitted to plea: in christenings, runs divisions upon an bealcourts of judicature, I am persuaded dress, knows every dill of meat that is they would carry the eloquence of the served up in her neighbourhood, and har to greater heights than it has yet entertains her company a whole afte: arrived at. If any one doubts this, let noon together with the wit of her little kiin but be present at thofe debates which boy, before he is able to speak. frequently arise among the ladies of the The coquette may be looked upon British fithery.
a fourth kind of female orator. To The first kind therefore of female ora- give herself the larger field for discourie, tors which I fall take notice of, are the hates and loves in the same breath, those who are employed in itirring up talks to her lap-dog or parrot, is umea's the paffions, a part of rhetoric in which in all kinds of weather, and in every Socrates his wife had perhaps made a part of the room: she has false quarrels greater proficiency than his above-men- and feignied obliga:ions to all the mea tionc teacher,
of her acquaintance; fighs when she's Tickecond kind of female orators are not fad, and laughs when she is Du: thote who deal in invectives, and who merry. The coquette is in particular a are commonly known by the name of great mistress of that part of oratoiv the cenforious. The imagination and which is called action, and indeed learns clocution of this set of rhetoricians is to speak for no other purpose, but as it wonderful. With wliat a Huency of gives her an opportunity of itirring 3 invention, and copioufness of expression, limb, or varying a feature, of glancing will they enlarge upon every little ilip her eyes, or playing with her fan. in the behaviour of another? With how As for newe-mongers, politiciars, many different circumstances, and with mimics, ftory-tellers, with other chawhat variety of phrases, will they tell racters of that nature, which give bir over
the lame story? I have known an toloquacity, they are as commonly toned old ladly make an unhappy abarriage the among the inen as the women;ior wbieb fubiect of a month's conversation. She' reason I shall pass thein over in itnice. blamed the bride in one place; pived her I have often been puzzled to align :