freedom to place the eye of an ox, bull, The ox-ey'd venerable Juno. Ardentis ab ore of heteroptics, as all wrong notions of religion are ranked under the general name of heterodox. All the pernicious applications of fight are more immediately under the direction of a Spectator; and I hope you will arm your readers against the mischiefs which are daily done by killing eyes, in which you will highly oblige your wounded unknown friend, of MR. SPECTATOR, T.B. YOU profeffed in feveral papers your Spectator, to correct the offence comparticular endeavours in the province mitted by ftarers who difturb whole affemblies without any regard to time, place, or modefty. You complained alfo that a ftarer is not ufually a perfon to be convinced by the reason of the thing, nor fo easily rebuked, as to amend by admonitions. I thought therefore fit to acquaint you with a convenient mechanical way, which may easily prevent or correct ftaring, by an optical contriv and commodious like opera-glaffes, fit ance of new perspective glatles, short for fhort-fighted people as well as others, thefe glaffes making the objects appear, either as they are feen by the naked eye, or more diftinct, though fomewhat leis fon may, by the help of this invention, than life, or bigger and nearer. A pertake a view of another without the impertinence of staring; at the fame time it fhall not be poffible to know whom Scintillæ abfiftunt: oculis micat acribus ignis. or what he is looking at. One may EN. XII. VER. 101. -From his wide noftrils flies As for the various turns of the eyefight, fuch as the voluntary or involuntary, the half or the whole leer, I fhall not enter into a very particular account of them, but let me obferve, that oblique vifion, when natural, was anciently the mark of bewitchery and magical fafcination, and to this day it is a malignant ill look; but when it is forced and affected, it carries a wanton defign, and in play-houses, and other public places, this ocular intimation is often an affignation for bad practices: but this irregularity in vifion, together with fuch enormities as tipping the wink, the circumfpective roll, the fide-peep through a thin hood or fan, must be put in the clafs look towards his right or left hand, when he is fuppofed to look forwards? this is fet forth at large in the printed Propofals for the fale of these glaffes, to be had at Mr. Dillon's in Long Acre, next door to the White Hart. Now, Sir, as your Spectator has occafioned the publishing of this invention for the benefit of modest spectators, the inventor defires your admonitions concerning the decent ufe of it; and hopes, by your recommendation, that for the future beauty may be beheld without the torture and confufion which it fuffers from the infolence of ftarers. By this means you will relieve the innocent from an infult which there is no law to punish, though it is a greater offence than many which are within the cognizance of juftice. I am, Sir, your most humble fervant, ABRAHAM SPY, No CCLI. THE N° CCLI. TUESDAY, DECEMBER 18. -LINGUÆ CENTUM SUNT, ORAQUE CENTUM. FERREA VOX VIRG. ÆEN. VI. VER. 625. A HUNDRED MOUTHS, A HUNDRED TONGUES, HERE is nothing which more aftonishes a foreigner, and frights a country 'fquire, than the cries of London. My good friend Sir Roger often declares, that he cannot get them out of his head or go to fleep for them, the firft week that he is in town. On the contrary, Will Honeycomb calls them the Ramage de la Ville, and prefers them to the founds of larks and nightingales, with all the mufic of the fields and woods. I have lately received a letter from fome very odd fellow upon this fubject, which I fhall leave with my reader without faying any thing further of it. SIR, I The poft I would aim at, is to be comptroller-general of the London cries, which are at prefent under no manner of rules or difcipline. I think I am pretty well qualified for this place, as being a man of very ftrong lungs, of great infight into all the branches of our British trades and manufactures, and of a competent skill in music. The cries of London may be divided into vocal and inftrumental. As for the latter, they are at prefent under a very great diforder. A freeman of London has the privilege of disturbing a whole ftreet for an hour together, with the twanking of a brafs kettle or a fryingpan. The watchman's thump at mid DRYDEN. night startles us in our beds, as much as the breaking in of a thief. The lowgelder's horn has indeed fomething mu fical in it, but this is feldom heard within the liberties. I would therefore propofe, that no inftrument of this nature' fhould be made ufe of, which I have not tuned and licensed, after having carefully examined in what manner it may affect the ears of her Majesty's liege fubjects. Vocal cries are of a much larger extent, and indeed fo full of incongruities and barbarifms, that we appear a diftracted city to foreigners, who do not comprehend the meaning of fuch enormous outcries. Milk is generally fold in a note above E la, and in founds fo exceeding fhrill, that it often sets our teeth on edge. The chimney-sweeper is confined to no certain pitch; he fometimes utters himself in the deepest bass, and fometimes in the fharpelt treble; fometimes in the higheft, and fometimes in the loweft note of the gamut. The fame observation might be made on the retailers of fmall-coal, not to mention broken glaffes or brick-duft. In thefe therefore, and the like cafes, it fhould be my care to sweeten and mellow the voices of these itine ant tradesmen, before they make their appearance in our streets, as alfo to accommodate their cries to their respective wares; and to take care in particular, that thofe may not make the most noife who have the least to sell, which is very obfervable in the venders of card-matches, to whom I cannot but apply the old proverb of Much cry, but little wool.' Some of thefe laft-mentioned muficians are fo very loud in the fale of thefe trifling manufactures, that an honest fplenetic gentleman of my acquaintance bargained with one of them never to come into the street where he lived: but what was the effect of this contract? Why, the whole tribe of card-matchmakers which frequent that quarter, paffed by his door the very next day, in 3 P hopes hopes of being bought off after the fame manner. It is another great imperfection in our London cries, that there is no juft time or measure obferved in them. Our news - fhould indeed be published in a very quick time, becaufe it is a commodity that will not keep cold. It fhould not, however, be cried with the fame precipitation as fire: yet this is generally the cafe. A bloody battle alarms the town from one end to another in an inftant. Every motion of the French is published in fo great a hurry, that one would think the enemy were at our gates. This likewife I would take upon me to regulate in fuch a manner, that there fhould be fome diftinction made between the spreading of a victory, a march, or an incampment, a Dutch, a Portugal, or a Spanish mail. Nor muft I omit under this head thofe exceffive alarms with which feveral boisterous ruftics infeft our streets in turnip-feafon; and which are more inexcufable, because these are wares which are in no danger of cooling upon their hands. There are others who affect a very flow time, and are, in my opinion, much more tunable than the former; the cooper in particular fwells his laft note in an hollow voice, that is not without it's harmony; nor can I forbear being infpired with a moft agreeable melancholy, when I hear that fad and folemn air with which the public are very often afked, if they have any chairs to mend? Your own memory may fuggeft to you many other lamentable ditties of the fame nature, in which the mufic is wonderfully languifhing and melodious. I am always pleafed with that particular time of the year which is proper for the pickling of dill and cucumbers; but alas, this cry, like the fong of the nightingale, is not heard above two months. It would therefore be worth while to confider, whether the fame air night not in fome cafes be adapted to other words. It might likewife deferve our most ferious confideration, how far, in a wellregulated city, thofe humourifts are to be tolerated, who, not contented with the traditional cries of their forefathers, have invented particular fongs and tunes of their own: fuch as was, not many years fince, the pastry-man, commonly known by the name of the Colly-MollyPuff; and fuch as is at this day the vender of powder and wash-balls, who, if I am rightly informed, goes under the name of Powder-Watt. I must not here omit one particular abfurdity which runs through this whole vociferous generation, and which renders their cries very often not only incommodious, but altogether useless to the public; I mean, that idle accomplishment which they all of them aim at, of crying fo as not to be understood. Whether or no they have learned this from several of our affected fingers, I will not take upon me to fay; but most certain it is, that people know the wares they deal in rather by their tunes than by their words; infomuch that I have fometimes feen a country boy run out to buy apples of a bellows-mender, and gingerbread from a grinder of knives and fciffars. Nay, fo ftrangely infatuated are fome very eminent artists of this particular grace in a cry, that none but their acquaintance are able to guess at their profeffion; for who elfe can know, that work if I had it,' fhould be the fignification of a corn-cutter? Forafmuch therefore as perfons of this rank are feldom men of genius or capacity, I think it would be very proper, that fome man of good fenfe and found judgment fhould prefide over thefe public cries, who fhould permit none to lift up their voices in our streets, that have not tunable throats, and are not only able to overcome the noife of the crowd, and the rattling of coaches, but alfo to vend their respective merchandifes in apt phrases, and in the most distinct and agreeable founds. I do therefore humbly recommend myfelf as a perfon rightly qualified for this poft; and if I meet with fitting encouragement, fhall communicate fome other projects which I have by me, that may no lefs conduce to the emolument of the public. I am, Sir, &c. RALPH CROTCHET; с END OF THE THIRD VOLUME, то THE DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH. MY LORD, S it is natural to have a fondness for what has coft us much time As and attention to produce, I hope your Grace will forgive and endeavour to preferve this work from oblivion, by affixing to it your memorable name. I fhall not here prefume to mention the illuftrious paffages of your life, which are celebrated by the whole age, and have been the subject of the moft fublime pens; but if I could convey you to pofterity in your private character, and describe the ftature, the behaviour, and afpect of the Duke of Marlborough, I queftion not but it would fill the reader with more agreeable images, and give him a more delightful entertainment than what can be found in the following, or any other book. One cannot, indeed, without offence to yourself, obferve, that you excel the rest of mankind in the leaft, as well as the greatest endowments. Nor were it a circumftance to be mentioned, if the graces and attractions of your perfon were not the only pre-eminence you have above others, which is left, almoft, unobferved by greater writers. Yet how pleafing would it be to thofe who fhall read the surprising revolutions in your story, to be made acquainted with your ordinary life and deportment? How pleafing would it be to hear that the fame man, who had carried fire and fword into the countries of all that had oppofed the caufe of liberty, and ftruck a terror into the armies of France, had, in the midst of his high ftation, a behaviour as gentle as is ufual in the firft fteps towards greatnefs! And if it were poffible to exprefs that eafy grandeur, which did at once perfuade and command; it would appear as clearly to thofe to come, as it does to his contemporaries, that all the great events which were brought to pass under the conduct of fo well-governed a fpirit, were the bleffings of heaven upon wifdom and valour; and all which feem adverse fell out by divine permiffion, which we are not to fearch into. You have paffed that year of life wherein the most able and fortunate captain, before your time, declared he had lived enough both to nature and to glory; and your Grace may make that reflection with much more justice. He spoke it after he had arrived at empire by an ufurpation upon thofe whom he had enflaved; but the Prince of Mindleheim may rejoice in a fovereignty which was the gift of him whofe dominions he had preferved. 3 P 2 Glory Glory established upon the uninterrupted fuccefs of honourable de. figns and actions is not fubject to diminution; nor can any attempts prevail against it, but in the proportion which the narrow circuit of rumour bears to the unlimited extent of fame. We may congratulate your Grace not only upon your high atchie-ements, but likewife upon the happy expiration of your command, by which your glory is put out of the power of fortune: and when your perfon fhall be fo too, that the Author and Difpofer of all things may place you in that higher manfion of blifs and immortality which is prepared for good princes, lawgivers, and heroes, when He in His due time removes them from the envy of mankind, is the hearty prayer of, My LORD, Your Grace's most obedient, Moft devoted, humble Servant, THE SPECTATOR. |