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worship. I have a very angry letter well-bred enough to be a convert. There from a lady, who tells me of one of her have been inany scandals of this kind acquaintance, who, out of mere pride given to our protestant dissenters from and a pretence to be rude, takes upon the outward pomp and respect we take her to return no civilities done to her to ourselves in our religious assemblies. in time of divine service, and is the most A Quaker who came one day into a religious woman for no other reason but church, fixed his eye upon an old lady to appear a woman of the best quality with a carpet larger than that from the in the church. This abfurd custom had pulpit before her, expecting when the better be abolished than retained, if it would hold forth. An Anabaptist who were but to prevent evils of no higher deligns to come over himself, and all a nature than this is; but I am informed his family, within few months, is sen of objections much more considerable: sible they want breeding enough for our a disenter of rank and distinction was congregations, and has sent his two lately prevailed upon by a friend of his ellest daughters to learn to dance, that to come to one of the greatest congrega. they may not misbehave themselves at tions of the church of England about church: it is worth confidering whether, town: after the service was over, he de in regard to aukward people with scruclared he was very well fatisfied with pulous consciences, a good Chriftian of the little ceremony which was used 10 the best air in the world ought not ra. wards God Almighty; but at the same ther to deny herself the opportunity of time he feared he ihould not be able to thewing so many graces, than keep a go through those required towards one bashful proselyte without the pale of the another: as to this point he was in a church, ftate of despair, and feared he was not




Hor. Ep. 11. L. 2. VER. 55.


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writing love-letters to the beauties that Am now in the sixty-fifth year of have been long fince in their graves. part of my days a man of pleasure, the memory of delights which were once decay of my faculties is a itagnation of agreeable to me; but how much happier my life. But how is it, Sir, that my would my life have been now, if I could appetites are increased upon me with the have looked back on any worthy action loss of power to gratify them? I write done for my country? If I had laid out this, like a criminal, to warn people to that which' I profused in luxury and enter upon what reformation they please wantonness, in acts of generosity or chato make in themselves in their youth, rity? I have lived a bachelor to this day; and not expect they shall be capable of and instead of a numerous offspring, it from a fond opinion some have often with which, in the regular ways of life, in their months, that if we do not leave I might possibly have delighted myself, I our delves they will leave us. It is far have only to amuse myself with the repe. otherwise; I am now as yain in my dress, tition of old stories and intrigues which and as flippant if I see a pretty woman, no one will believe I ever was concerned as when in my youth 1 food upon a in.. I do not know whether you have bench in the pit to survey ihe whole cir ever treated of it or not; but you cannot cle of beauties. The folly is so extra fall on a better subject, than that of the vagant with me, and I went on with so

art of growing old. In such' a lecture little check of my desires, or relignation you must propose, that no one fet his of them, that I can assure you, I very heart upon what is tranfient; the beauty often, merely to entertain my own grows wrinkled while we are yet gazing thoughts, fit with my spectacles on, ät her. The witty man finks into an


humourift imperceptibly, for want of re- tress. You must know, I am not a perflecting that all things around him are fon apt to despair, but the has got an in a Ayx, and continually changing: odd humour of itopping short unacthus he is in the space of ten or fifteen countably, and, as the hertelf told a years surrounded by a new set of people, confident of her's, Ine has cold fits. whose manners are as natural to them as These fits shall last her a month or fix. his delights, method of thinking, and weeks together; and as she falls into mode of living, were formerly to him them without provocation, so it is to be and his friends. But the mischief is, he hoped the will return from theri withlooks upon the fame kind of errors wbich out the merit of new services. But life he himself was guilty of with an eye and love will not admit of such intedof scorn, and with that fort of ill. will vals, therefore pray let her be admonished which men entertain against each other as follows. for different opinions: thus a crazy conftitution, and an uneasy mind, is fretted MADAM, with vexatious passions for

young men's


Love you, and I honour you; theredoing foolishly what it is folly to do at fore pray do not tell me of waiting all. Dear Sir, this is my present state till decencies, till forms, till humours, .. of mind; I hate those I should laugh at, are consulted and gratified. If you have and envy those I contemn. The time that happy conftitution as to be indoof youth and vigorous manhood, pased lent for ten weeks together, you should the way in which I have dilpoled of it, consider that all that while I burn with is attended with these consequences; but impatiences and fevers; but still you say to those who live and pass away life as it will be time enough, though I and they ought, all parts of it are equally you too grow older while we are yet plea fant; only the memory of good and talking. Which do you think the more worthy actions is a feast which must reafonable, that you thould alter a itate give a quicker relish to the soul than of indifference for happiness, and that to ever it could possibly taste in the highest oblige me; or I live in torment, and that enjoyinents or jollities of youth. As to lay no manner of obligation upor for me, if I sit down in my great chair you? While I indulge your insensie and begin to ponder, the vagaries of a bility, I am doing nothing; if you fachild are not more ridiculous than the vour my passion, you are bestowing circumstances which are heaped up in bright desires, gay hopes, generous cares, my memory; fine gowns, country dances, noble resolutions, and transporting rapends of tunes, interrupted conversations, tures, upon, Madam, and midnight quarrels, are what must Your most devoted humble servant. neceffarily compose my foliloquy. I beg of you to print this, that some ladies of

MR. SPECTATOR, my acquaintance, and my years, may be

HERE is a gentlewoman lodges in persuaded to wear warm night-caps this the same house with me, that I never cold season: and that my old friend did any injury to in my whole life; and Jack Tawdry may buy him a cane, and the is always railing at me to those the not creep with the air of a strut. I knows will tell me of it. Do not you must add to all this, that if it were not think that she is in love with me! Or for one pleasure, which I thought a very would

you have me break my mind yet mean one until of very late years, I or not? Your servant,

T. B. fhould have no great fatisfaction left; but if I live to the 10th of March, 1714, MR. SPECTATOR. and all my securities are good, I thall I Am a footman in a great family, and be worth fifty thousand pound. I am, am in love with the house maid. We Sir, your moit humble fervant,

were all at hot-cockles last night in the Jack AFTERDAY. hall these holidays; when I lay down

and was blinded, the pulled off her shoe, MR. SPECTATOR,

and hit me with the heel such a rap, as lover, if you will insert in your very Sir, was this love or spite?

a . Pray, next paper, the following letter to my mií.




me upon

Γάμβγάρ ανθρώποισιν ευκταίον κακόν. ,


Y father, who!r I mentioned in paffion should ftrike root, and gather

my first speculation, and whom Itringth before marriage be grafted on I must always name with honour and it. A long course of hopes and expectagratitude, bas very frequently talked to tions fixes the idea in our minds, and

the subject of marriage. I was babituates us to a fondnels of the per. in my younger years engaged, partly by fon beloved. his advice, and partly by my own in There is nothing of so great importclinations, in the courtship of a person ance to us, as the good qualities of one who had a great deal of beauty, and did to whom we join ourselves for life; they not at my arit approaches seem to have do not only make our present state agreeany averfion to me; but as my natural able, but often determine our happineis taciturnity hindered me from thewing to all eternity. Where the choice is left myself to the best advantage, she by cie. to friends, the chief point under confgrees began to look upon me as a very deration is an eltate : wliere the parties Glly fellow, and being resoived to re chuse for themselves, their thoughts turn gard merit more than any thing elie in most upon the person. They have both the pations who made their applications their reasons. The first would precure to her, she married a captain of dragoons many conveniencies and pleasures of who happened to be beating up for re life to the party whose interests they cruits in those parts.

efpouse; and at the fame time may hope This unlucky accident has given me that the ealth of their friend will turn an aversion to pretty fellows ever since, to their own credit and advantage. The and discouraged me froin trying my others are preparing for themselves a fortune with the fair-lex. The oblerva- perpetual feait. A good person does tions which I made in this coniun&ture, not only raise, but continue love, and and the repeated advices which I re breeds a secret pleasure and complacency csived at that time from the good old in the beholder, when the first heats of man above-mentioned, have produced desire are extinguished. It puts the the following efiay upon Love and Mar- wife or husband in countenance both riage.

among friends and trangers, and geneThe pleasantest part of a man's life is rally fills the family with a healthy and generally that which palles in courtship, beautiful race of children. provided his passion be fincere, and the I should prefer a woman that is agreeparty beloved kind with discretion. able in my own eye, and not de orined Love, desire, hope, all the pleasing mo- in that of the world, to a celebrated tions of the soul, rise in the purtuit. beauty: If you marry one remarkably

It is easier for an artful man who is beautiful, you must have a violent par. not in love, to persuade bis mistress he fon for her, or you have not the proper has a passion for her, and to succeed in taste of her charms; and if you have his pursuits, than for one who loves such a passion for her, it is odds but it with the greatest violence. True love would be imbittered with fears and jea: has ten thousand griefs, impatiences, and loulies. resentments, that render a man unami Good nature and evenness of temper able in the eyes of the person whose af- will give you an ealy companion for life; fection he solicits; besides, that it links virtue and good lense, an agreeable his figure, gives him fears, apprehen. friend; love and constancy, a good wife fions, and poorness of spirit, and often or husband. Where we incet one person makes him appear ridiculous where he with all these accomplishments, we find has a mind to recommend himself. an hundred without any one of them.

Thore marriages generally abound The world, notwithstanding, is moje most with love and constancy, that are intent on trains and equipages, and all preceded by a long courthip. The the thowy parts of life; we love rather

to dazzle the multitude, than confult quaintance, which you never discovered, our proper interests; and, as I have elle

or perhaps suspected. Here therefore where observed, it is one of the most discretion and good-nature are to Mew unaccountable passions of human na their strength; the first will kinder your ture, that we are at greater pains to ap- thoughts from dwelling on what is dif. pear easy and happy to others, than agreeable, the other will raise in you all really to make ourselves so. Of all dir the tenderness of compassion and huparities, that in humour makes the most manity, and by degrees foften those very unhappy marriages, yet scarce enters imperfections into beauties. into our thoughts at the contracting of Marriage enlarges the scene of our them. Several that are in this refpect happiness and miseries. A marriage of unequally yoked, and uneasy for life, love is pleasant; a marriage of interest with a person of a particular character, easy; and a marriage, where both meet, might have been pleased and happy with happy. A happy marriage has in it all a person of a contrary one, notwith- the pleasures of friendship, all the enftanding they are both perhaps equally joyments of sense and reason, and invirtuous and laudable in their kind. deed all the sweets of life. Nothing is

Before marriage we cannot be too in a greater mark of a degenerate and viquisitive and discerning in the faults of cious age, than the con mon ridicule the person beloved, nor after it too dim- which passes on this fate of life. It is, sighted and superficial. However per. indeed, only happy in those who can feet and accomplished the person ap. look down with icorn or neglect on the pears to you at a distance, you will find impieties of the times, and tread the many blemishes and imperfections in paths of life together in a conitant uniher humour, upon a more intimate ac form course of virtue..

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Ovid. Trist. 1. 2. v. 566. SATIRICAL REFLECTIONS I AVOID.


public for their kind acceptance of a This does not perhaps reflect so much paper which visits then every morning, honour upon myself, as on my readers, and has in it none of those seasonings who give a much greater attention to that recommend so many of the writings discourses of virtue and morality, than which are in vogue among us.

ever I expected, or indeed could hope. As, on the one side, my paper has not When I broke loote from that great in it a single word of news, a reflection body of writers who have employed their in politics, nor a stroke of party; so on wit and parts in propagating vice and the other, there are no fashionable irreligion, I did not question but I Mould touches of infidelity, no obscene ideas, be treated as an odd kind of fellow, that no fatires upon priesthood, marriage, had a mind to appear fingular in my and the like popular topics of ridicule; way of writing: but the general recepno private scandal, nor any thing that tion I have found, convinces me that may tend to the defaination of particu the world is not so corrupt as we are lar persons, families, or societies. apt to imagine; and that if those men of

There is not one of those above-men parts who have been employed in vitiattioned subjects that would not sell a ing the age had endeavoured to rectify very indifferent paper, could I think of and amend it, they needed not have fa. gratifying the public by such mean and crificed their good sense and virtue to bafe methods. But notwithstanding I their fame and reputation. No man is have rejected every ching that savours so funk in vice and ignorance, but there of party, every thing that is loose and are till some hidden seeds of goodnets immoral, and every thing that might and knowledge in him; which give him create uneasiness in the minds of parti- a relish of such reflections and ipecula. cular persons, I find that the demand tions as have an aptness to improve the for my papers has increased every month mind, and make the heart better.

I have

I have shewn in a foriner paper, with he diverts himself with those innocent how much care I have avoided all such amusements. thoughts as are loose, obscene, or im I have been so very scrupulous in this moral; and I believe my reader would particular of not hurting any man's reitill think the better of me, if he knew putation, that I have forborne mentionthe pains I am at in qualifying what I ing even such authors as I could not write after such a manner, that nothing naine with honour. This I muft may be interpreted as aimed at private confefs to have been a piece of very perfons. For this reason, when I draw great felf-denial : for as the public reany faulty character, I consider all those lithes nothing better than the ridicule persons to whom the inalice of the world which turns upon a writer of any emimay possibly apply it, and take care to nence, so there is nothing which a man dash it with such particular circum- that has but a very ordinary talent in Itances as may prevent all such ill- ridicule may execute with greater eale. hatured applications. If I write any One might raise laughter for a quarter thing on a black man, I run over in my of a year together upon the works of 2 mind all the eminent persons in the naa person who has published but a very few tion who are of that complexion: when volumes. For which reason I am afto. I place an imaginary name at the head nished that thofe who have appeared of a character, I examine every syllable against this paper have made so very and letter of it, that it may not bear any little of it. The criticisms which I have refemblance to one that is real. I know hitherto published, have been made with very well the value which every man an intention rather to discover beauties sets upon his reputation, and how pain and excellencies in the writers of my ful it is to be exposed to the mirth and own time, than to publish any of their derision of the public, and should there- faults and imperfections. In the mean fore scorn to dirert my reader at the ex. while, I should take it for a very great pence of any private man.

favour from some of my underhand de. As I have been thus tender of every tractors, if they would break all mea. particular person's reputation, so I have fures with me lo far, as to give me 2 taken more than ordinary care not to pretence for examining their performgive offence to those who appear in the ances with an impartial eye: nor shall I higher figures of life. I would not look upon it as any breach of charity to make mytelf merry even with a piece of criticise the author, so long as I keep paiteboard that is invested with a public clear of the person. character; for which reason I have never In the mean while, until I am proglanced upon the late designed procession voked to such hoftilities, I fhall from of his holineís and his attendants, not. time to time endeavour to do justice to withstanding it might have afforded those who have distinguished themselves matter to many ludicrous speculations. in the politer parts of learning, and to Among those advantages which the pub- point out such beauties in their works as lic may reap from this paper, it is not may have escaped the observation of the least, that it draws men's minds off others. from the bitternels of party, and fur As the first place among our English niles them with subjects of difcourse poets is due to Milton; and as I have that may be treated without warmth or drawn more quotations out of him than passion. This is said to have been the froin any other, I shall enter into a refirst design of those gentlerren who set gular criticism upon his Paradise Lost, on foot the Royal Society; and had then which I shall publish every Saturday a very good effect, as it turned many

until I have given my thoughts upon of the greatest geniuses of that age to the that poem. I mall not however predisquisitions of natural knowledge, who, sume to impose upon others my own if they had engaged in politics with the particular judginent on this author, but Jame parts and application, might have only deliver it as my private opinion. set their country in a flame. The air. Criticism is of a very large extent, and pump, the barometer, tbe quadrant, every particular master in this art has and the like inventions, were thrown out his favourite passages in an author, to those busy spirits, as tubs and bar which do not equally strike the best rels are to a whale, that he may let the judges. It will be sufficient for me if thip fail on without disturbance, while I discover many beauties or imperfec

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