ever I mentioned her to. So I remain, your lordship's most humble fervant to command. I beg of you to burn it when you have read it. T N° CCLXXV. TUESDAY, JANUARY 15. -TRIBUS ANTICYRIS CAPUT INSANABILE HOR. ARS POET. VER. 300. A HEAD NO HELLEBORE CAN CURE. I was yesterday engaged in an af. sembly of virtuofos, where one of them produced many curious obfervations which he had lately made in the anatomy of an human body. Another of the company communicated to us feveral wonderful difcoveries, which he had alfo made on the fame fubject, by the help of very fine glaffes. This gave birth to a great variety of uncommon remarks, and furnished difcourfe for the remaining part of the day. The different opinions which were ftarted on this occafion, prefented to my imagination fo many new ideas, that by mixing with thofe which were already there, they employed my fancy all the laft night, and compofed a very wild extravagant dream. I was invited, methought, to the diffection of a beau's head, and of a coquette's heart, which were both of them laid on a table before us. An imaginary operator opened the firft with a great deal of nicety, which, upon a curfory and fuperficial view, appeared like the head of another man; but upon ap plying our glaffes to it, we made a very odd difcovery, namely, that what we looked upon as brains, were not fuch in reality, but an heap of ftrange materials wound up in that shape and texture, and packed together with wonderful art in the feveral cavities of the skull. For, as Homer tells us, that the blood of the gods is not real blood, but only fomething like it; fo we found that the brain of a beau is not a real brain, but only fomething like it. The pineal gland, which many of our modern philofophers fuppofe to be the feat of the foul, fmelt very ftrong of effence and orange flower water, and was encompaffed with a kind of horny fubftance, cut into a thousand little faces or mirrors, which were imperceptible to the naked eye, infomuch that the foul, if there had been any here, must have been always taken up in contemplating her own beauties. We obferved a large antrum or cavity in the finciput, that was filled with ribbons, lace, and embroidery, wrought together in a moft curious piece of network, the parts of which were likewise imperceptible to the naked eye. Another of thefe antrums or cavities was ftuffed with invifible billet-doux, love. letters, pricked dances, and other trumpery of the fame nature. In another we found a kind of powder, which fet the whole company a fneezing, and by the fcent difcovered itself to be right Spanifh. The feveral other cells were ftored with commodities of the fame kind, of which it would be tedious to give the reader an exact inventory. There was a large cavity on each fide of the head, which I must not omit. That on the right fide was filled with fictions, flatteries, and falfhoods, vows, promifes, and proteftations; that on the left with oaths and imprecations. There iffued out a duct from each of these cells, which ran into the root of the tongue, where both joined together, and paffed forward in one common duct to the tip of it. We difcovered feveral little roads or canals running from the ear into the brain, and took particular care to trace them out through their feveral pattages. One of them extended itfelf to a bundle of fonnets and little mufical inftruments. Others ended is several bladders which were filled either with wind or froth. But the large canal entered into a great cavity of the skull, from whence there went another canal into the tongue. This great cavity was filled with a kind of fpungy fubitance, which the French anatomifts call galimatias, and the English nonfenfe. The fkins of the forehead were extremely tough and thick, and, what very much furprifed us, had not in them any fingle blood-veffel that we were able to discover, difcover, either with or without our glales; from whence we concluded, that the party when alive must have been intirely deprived of the faculty of blush ing. The os cribriforme was exceedingly stuffed, and in fome places damaged with fnuff. We could not but take no tice in particular of that small muscle which is not often difcovered in diffections, and draws the nose upwards, when it expreffes the contempt which the owner of it has, upon feeing any thing he does not like, or hearing any thing he does not understand. I need not tell my learned reader, this is that muscle which performs the motion fo often mentioned by the Latin poets, when they talk of a man's cocking his nofe, or playing the rhinoceros. We did not find any thing very remarkable in the eye, faving only, that the mufculi amatorii, or as we may tranflate it into English, the ogling mufcles, were very much worn and decayed with ufe; whereas, on the contrary, the elevator, or the muscle which turns the eye towards heaven, did not appear to have been used at all. I have only mentioned in this diffection fuch new difcoveries as we were able to make, and have not taken any notice of thofe parts which are to be met with in common heads. As for the fkull, the face, and indeed the whole outward shape and figure of the head, we could Bot difcover any difference from what we observe in the heads of other men. I We were informed, that the perfon to whom this head belonged, had paffed for a man above five and thirty years; during which time he eat and drank like other people, dreffed well, talked loud, laughed frequently, and on particular occafions had acquitted himself tolerably at a ball or an affembly; to which one of the company added, that a certain knot of ladies took him for a wit. He was cut off in the flower of his age by the blow of a paring-fhovel, having been furprised by an eminent citizen, as he was tendering fome civilities to his wife. When we had thoroughly examined this head with all it's apartments, and it's feveral kinds of furniture, we put up the brain, fuch as it was, into it's proper place, and laid it afide under a broad piece of fcarlet cloth, in order to be prepared, and kept in a great repolitory of diflections; our operator telling us that the preparation would not be fo difficult as that of another brain, for that he had obferved several of the little pipes and tubes which ran through the brain were already filled with a kind of mercurial fubftance, which he looked upon to be true quick-filver. He applied himself in the next place to the coquette's heart, which he likewife laid open with great dexterity. There occurred to us many particularities in this diffection; but being unwining to burthen my reader's memory too much, I shall referve this fubject for the fpeculation of another day. N° CCLXXVI. WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 16. ERRORI NOMEN VIRTUS POSUISSET HONESTUM. HOR. SAT. III. LIB. 1. VER. 42, MISCONDUCT SCREEN'D BEHIND A SPECIOUS NAME. MR. SPECTATOR, Hope you have philofophy enough to be capable of bearing the mention of your faults. Your papers which regard the fallen part of the fair-fex, are, I think, written with an indelicacy which makes them unworthy to be inferted in the writings of a moralift who knows the world. I cannot allow that you are at liberty to obferve upon the actions of mankind with the freedom which you feem to refolve upon; at least if you do so, you should take along L with the distinction of manners of you the world, according to the quality and way of life of the perfons concerned. A man of breeding fpeaks of even miffortune among ladies, without giving it the noft terrible afpect it can bear: and this tenderness towards them, is much more to be preferved when you fpeak of vices. All mankind are fo far related, that care is be taken, in things to which all are liable, you do not men. tion what concerns one in terms which fhall difguit another. Thus to tell a 3 X rich Lufty Fellow, in my prefence. I doubt MR. SPECTATOR, rich man of the indigence of a kinfman of his, or abruptly inform a virtuous woman of the lapfe of one who until then was in the fame degree of esteem with herself, is in a kind involving each of them in fome participation of thofe difadvantages. It is therefore ex-YOU lately put out a dreadful paper, pected from every writer, to treat his argument in fuch a manner, as is most proper to entertain the fort of readers to whom his difcourfe is directed. It is not neceffary when you write to the teatable, that you should draw vices which carry all the horror of fhame and contempt: if you paint an impertinent felf. love, an artful glance, an affumed complexion, you fay all which you ought to fuppofe they can be poffibly guilty of. When you talk with this limitation, you behave yourfelf fo as that you may expect others in converfation may fecond your raillery; but when you do it in a tile which every body else forbears in respect to their quality, they have an eafy remedy in forbearing to read you, and hearing no more of their faults. A man that is now and then guilty of an intemperance is not to be called a drunkard; but the rule of polite raillery, is to speak of a man's faults as if you loved him. Of this nature is what was faid by Cefar: when one was railing with an uncourtly vehemence, and broke out What inuft we call him who was taken in an intrigue with another man's wife?' Cæfar anfwered very gravely-' A carelefs fellow. This was at once a reprimand for fpeaking of a crime which in those days had not the abhorrence attending it as it ought, as well as an intimation that all intempe. Fate behaviour before fuperiors lofes it's aim, by accufing in a method unfit for the audience. A word to the wife. All I mean here to fay to you is, that the molt free perfon of quality can go no further than being a kind woman; and you should never fay of a man of figure worfe, than that he knows the world. I am, Sir, your most humble fervant, FRANCIS COURTLY. wherein you promise a full account of the state of criminal love; and call all the fair who have tranfgreffed in that kind by one very rude name which I do not care to repeat: but I defire to know of you whether I am or I am not one of thofe? My cafe is as follows. I am kept by an old bachelor, who took me fo young, that I knew not how he came by me: he is a bencher of one of the inns of court, a very gay healthy old man; which is a very lucky thing for him, who has been, he tells me, a fcowrer, a fcamperer, a breaker of windows, and invader of constables, in the days of yore, when all dominion ended with the day, and males and females met helter kelter, and the scowerers drove before them all who pretended to keep up order or rule to the interruption of love and honour. This is his way of talk, for he is very gay when he vifits me; but as his former knowledge of the town has alarmed him into an invincible jealoufy, he keeps me in a pair of flippers, neat bodice, warm petticoats, and my own hair woven in ringlets, after a manner, he fays, he re members. I am not mistress of one farthing of money, but have all neceffaries provided for me, under the guard of one who procured for him while he had any defires to gratify. I know nothing of a wench's life, but the reputa tion of it: I have a natural voice, and a pretty untaught ftep in dancing. His manner is to bring an old fellow who has been his fervant from his youth, and is grey headed: this man makes on the violin a certain jiggish noise to which I dance, and when that is over I fing to him fome loofe air that has more wantonnefs than mufic in it. You must have feen a strange windowed houfe near Hyde Park, which is fo built that no one can look out of any of the apartments; my rooms are after that manner, and I never fee man, woman, or child, but in company with the two perfons above-mentioned. He fends me in all the books, pamphlets, plays, operas, and fongs that come out, and his ut mott |